bad anime – Yuki The Snowman

This Anime is Faithful Virgin Trash

You only get one shot. If the first episode of an anime doesn’t impress me, it’s getting dropped. So, did My Girlfriend is a Shob**h impressed me in its first episode?

No.

It’s often said that the best way to court attention is to generate controversy. Companies and brands understand this well. Let me use some examples real quick. During the 2000s, Rockstar Games used the negative press of their Grand Threat Auto series as a positive in order to boost sales. It worked in their favor. Vince Mcmahon, CEO of the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), saved the company with the Attitude Era; a controversial period during the late 90s that used politically incorrect and sexual themes aimed at adults. Hell, there’s a certain notorious cosplayer right now gaining attention through controversial lewd cosplays.

please don’t lewd the time loop lolis please don’t lewd the time loop lolis please don’t lewd the tie loop lolis for the love of Oyashiro-Sama don’t lewd Rika or Hanyuu

So, when I first heard the title My Girlfriend is a Faithful Virgin Bitch, my eyebrows rose a bit. The title alone was enough to grab my attention. “Jeez, Japan. You guys are getting bolder.” I told myself. For real, who goes around calling their girlfriend a “faithful bitch”? I’m not a domestic violence expert, but I’m sure that’s a red flag for an abusive relationship. I mean, congrats on finding a girl who ain’t fucking other dudes behind your back, but did you really have to call her a faithful bitch?

With a controversial title like that, I had to do some research on the anime. I went to My Anime List and some anime pages on Facebook to gain some knowledge on Shobitch. Fans of the original web manga were going around telling others not to panic!

“It’s not like all other trashy, horrible romcom anime out there today! Shobitch is different!” One zit face ridden weeb stated “Shobitch is not bad at all! It’s funny and cute! Don’t take the title at face value.”

For a second, I had faith in this stranger’s words. Maybe he’s telling the truth, and Shobitch isn’t like all the other romcom anime series out there. The title is just something to bait people into watching it. I should give it a chance. Just because the cover art shows the main girls looking at a banana, commonly used as a phallic symbol, doesn’t mean this anime is going to be ecchi trash. Have faith in these weebs, Benjamin!

…And then I remembered why I don’t have faith in most anime fans.

I went to my favorite source for anime, pulled up Shobitch, and played the file. The anime starts with a boy and girl in their teens in some field lookin’ stupid. The girl speaks.

“I, right here and now…will raise my skirt and display myself to you.” Joy. Oh joy. Another romcom opening up with a panty sho- hold up! Did this bitch straight say she ain’t got no panties on? Am I 10 again sneaking into the living room at 2AM to watch that Wax-a-Million music video on B.E.T. Uncut?

But seriously. This anime isn’t opening up with a panty shot. It’s a straight up vag shot. A censored vag shot, but a vag shot regardless. Or maybe not, as the dude was dreaming the whole thing. Doesn’t matter, really. As I’ve stated before in my Hajimete no Gal first impression review, if your anime opens up with panty shot, then you have no confidence in your work. So, if your anime opens with a girl flashing her vagina in the opening scene, then you should never work in the anime industry.

Just quit my man.

Dude wakes up and gets an eyeful of some girl’s ass. Great. I see where this is going now. Next, he spots his crush (the girl in his dream) and talks about her in some inner monologue bullshit that I don’t care for. Kosaka Whatsherface is her name. The guy wants to be her boyfriend. He plans to confess to her later that day. They meet up after school. He confesses and Kosaka accepts. Not only does she accepts, Kosaka tells dude that she’s gonna learn 48 different positions for him so they can have a good time.

…what?

“Benjamin. Abandon ship. Why are you torturing yourself by watching trash tier anime? Go play that Fire Emblem 4 romhack with those Touhou characters. Go watch better anime. Don’t do this to yourself.” My gut was trying to tell me to stop but I refused. It’s my duty, obligation, and responsibility to tear apart bad anime – no matter what ill results may come to me and my mental health.

I should have I listened to my gut.

The OP begins. We see Youmu Konpaku, err, Yuki Nagato, wait no, Kosaka Whatsherface (look, all silver hair, blue eyes anime, and video game girls look alike to me. I don’t care; I’m anime racist) half naked and dressing. As she leaves her house, the camera pans up to her skirt for a panty shot. At that point, I stopped watching the OP. I went on my phone to watch some fight compilation on World Star Hip Hop (WSHH) to past the time. As I’m scrolling through WSHH my eyes peep the TV screen to check if the OP finished I was greeted to Kosaka, completely naked, sitting on a cake. Oh, and she was taking a loud of white frosting on her face in a suggestive matter.

Whew boy.

The OP ends and the episode resumes. We get some annoying brunette girl screeching, running down the hall and glomping Haru from behind. She’s followed up by another girl wearing some catgirl bullshit trying to take both of them back home with her like she’s Rena off Higurashi or something. Later, Haru daydreams about Kosaka. He debates if he should talk to her about her about asking her hobbies and interests.

To the surprise of nobody, Kosaka appears. Haru gets all giddy inside. He has a chance to ask her what she enjoys face-to-face. And hey! Kosaka has the same idea in mind. She wants to get to know her new boyfriend better as well. You know, it what makes a strong, solid relationship. Communication is key in these things.

You gotta ask your new boyfriend or girlfriend things. Things such as what they’re favorite color, what type of foods they love, who is their favorite music artist, and what do they like to do for fun. Oh! Don’t forget to ask what kinda fetishes do they have in the bedroom. Yeah, Kosaka asks Haru what type of fetishes he’s into for some odd reason.

…at least she’s thoughtful. I guess.

The scene transition to a boob gag to remind us that Kosaka is well endowed (as it wasn’t obvious enough in the OP). As she helps their teacher, she places her breasts on top of the books, and carry then them out. She then asks Haru if he’s a masochist because…I don’t know nor do I care anymore. In less than eight minutes, I could tell that this anime was just going to be terrible. It was at this point I started asking myself questions:

“Do I hate fun?”
“Am I secretly a masochist and is my pain kink is watching terrible anime?”
“Is this what they mean to turn your brain off and enjoy something even though its horrible?”

Besides this anime sucking, what also sucked that I drank all my alcohol from the day before (to relieve work-related stress). That bottle of Peach New Amsterdam vodka sure would have helped get me through this trash. Maybe being under the influence of alcohol would have made this a little bearable. Wait, actually no. It wouldn’t. It would have just me even angrier that I was wasting my time on such bullshit. Then again, in retrospect, Drunk Ben is smart enough to turn off this anime so he wouldn’t have to suffer any longer.

(Goddammit angry Alcoholic Worker Ben! Was getting afternoon drunk worth it?)

The next scene shows Kosaka eavesdropping on two girls talking about their relationship issues. Kosaka butts in. She tells the girls that the best way to get their boyfriend’s attention is to say “Nyan” after each sentence. Ya know, like one of ‘em socially awkward annoying high school weeaboos who wear cat ears all day. Her next advice to the girls was to not wear any panties around their boyfriends to make ‘em happy. Yeah. This is the character of Kosaka: A perverted airhead who think sex and being a catgirl will solve everything in the world. Kosaka is a tad bit off (as her peers states) Maybe she doesn’t know how a relationship work. Maybe she thinks sex should be a priority in it. It’s her first time having a boyfriend, so I should be a little merciful. But I won’t.

At was at this point I got bored with this anime. I simply turned off my TV, went on social media and started ranting about how terrible Shobitch is. After my rant, I dropped the anime.

I’ve concluded that I shouldn’t do these types of shows. Maybe there are good, romcom anime that isn’t utterly perverted (or the perverted jokes are actually funny) but I haven’t discovered them yet. My Girlfriend is a Shobitch isn’t one of them. The jokes doesn’t make me laugh (given I’m way out of pubtery I gues). Both main characters are utter idiots, with Kosaka being an airhead, monotone pervert. Her voice is as boring as the show. The only good things I can say about this show is that the animation is decent and the girl is more sexual forward in a genre where its the male who is sexual forward. Also, I will admit it was (laughably) cute to see Kosaka work hard to be a good girlfriend to Haru.
This show is getting dropped. I have better shows to watch and review.

First Impression score: 2.5/10

+The animation is decent
+Kosaka is a pervert rather than the male lead unlike most romcom shows
+It feels a little different from most romcoms
-Jokes weren’t funny
– Jokes were obvious
– Too overly sexual
-Episode opened with a vag shot
-Obvious harem set-up
-Fanservice transition shots
-Alcohol did not make this show better – only worse
-Kosaka looks like a lame ass version of Yuki Nagato off Haruhi

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on October 18, 2017

anime 0

In Another World With My Smartphone is Disappointing (Mini-Freewrite)

In Another World With My Smartphone is disappointing. I’m talking “shut-in otaku, black sheep in the family who watches anime all day, and doesn’t play sports like your father wanted you to, thus he disowns you” disappointing (kinda like some of you weebs out there). I had so much hope for this anime when I first heard about it. The idea of the main character using modern day technology in a fantasy world, and said technology is powered through magic. That’s sound amazing! It’s something I’ve never seen in anime before (or in any type of media), and I was curious on how that will play out in the series.

Sadly, my hopes were crushed when I realized within the first two or three minutes of the episode that this anime was, yet another , cookie cutter otaku fantasy harem series. You know, we’ve seen time-after-time before; Thanks due the popularity of Sword Art Online. Plus, I should had know this show would had been garbage from the jump given it’s a light novel series cratered to lonely otaku who yearn to live out some weird harem fantasy that they know deep down will never happen.

I mean they can’t talk to a single women, let another collect multiple women to add into an harem.

Stay tune in the future for my more in-depth review on episode one of In Another Generic Otaku Harem Fantasy World in the near future.

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on August 2, 2017

anime 0

First Episode. First Impressions. One Shot: Hajimete no Gal

You only get one shot. If the first episode of an anime doesn’t impress me, it’s getting dropped.

So, did Hajimete no Gal impressed me on its first episode? Absolutely not!

I had to straight dropped this disrespectful-to-the-source-material trash in under eight minutes. It’s that horrible. However, I figure I’d watch the episode in full. I wanted to thoroughly explain why I don’t like this anime. Plus, I need to confirm my theory that it’ll be garbage overtime.

First off, the opening scene is a panty shot. No warnings, explanations, or buildup leading us to why we’re seeing Yukana’s crotch on the screen. Nope. Just straight up panty shot. To me, that’s just NAZ saying that they’re lacking confidence in the success of their adaption. If using a panty shot as the opening scene is a way to hook the viewers in, then your anime is going to suck.

The manga didn’t open up with a panty shot. The first pages were just Junichi groveling on the ground at the feet of Yukana, with his head lowered in shame. There was a panty shot towards the end of the chapter, but it was directed so that it made sense that. Junichi caught a peep of her panties from the angle of his position. The opening shot of the anime didn’t give that information or sense of direction. That’s why it was off putting.

The opening page.

Notice the lack of panty shots?

Next is the gosh darn annoying opening animation song and animation. The song, “The First Season”, sounds like some generic, entry level weeaboo J-Pop music that you’d normally hear on some weird Japanese-only rhythm game. For example, that Project Diva game that lonely spaz ass weebs play at anime cons. It’s easily forgettable, and could be passed off as a theme song for any other generic romantic-comedy anime.

The OP animation gives off the impression that series might be directed as a harem, as three others girls are introduced: A bubbly, cute, yet graceless chubby girl, a tanned gyaru (who may be the Yukana’s best friend or something), and a graceful, modest girl (whom we can assume is either popular, or has high status, given she’s surrounded by many peers).

Excellent. Not only did that unnecessary panty shot didn’t help anyone who may be skeptical about Hajimete no Gal, the OP is an extra strike for anyone (myself included) who hates harem, or overly perverted material in anime with no substance or reason.

(Admittedly, I’m on chapter 5 of the manga, and I’ve yet to encountered the other girls besides Yukana. Junichi and Yukana are already dating, and Yukana likes him. I don’t know what’s with other girls; if they’re further in the manga or what, but I digress.)

While I’m on the subject, the girl’s design looks plain and lazy. Uninspiring even – lacking depth and clues about their personalities. Also, why does each girl (sans the modest looking chick) have large breasts? Not every female character needs large tits my dude. Sigh. The opening animation pisses me off. The opening shot pisses me off. This episode pisses me off. If I were to watch this entire anime, I’ll lose my temper.

With that said, lets examine the rest of episode.

The anime begins similar to the manga; Junichi frets entering the new school year as a kiss-less virgin. His friends, a group of outcast nerds (Shinpei, Keigo, and Minoru) are in the same boat. Together, they make a pact to lose their virginity. Or at the least obtain new girlfriends before the end of the school year.

While Jun will achieve in getting a girlfriend (he’s the main character, he gets the girl first), his crew talks that good game about getting with a chick to smash and date. Mostly smash. Heck any chick is great for them. White chicks. Black chicks. Asian Chicks. Tsundere Chicks. Dandere. Yandere chicks. They’re all free game – even if the chick looks clearly like a loli.

And here is where things goes from bad to just utterly wrong.

I respect the fact that animators and writers must create filler scenes for manga-to-anime adaption. If you directly apadate the manga panel-by-panel without filler, you’re going to have a very short anime. With that said; when did Jun’s crew became a bunch of pedophiles, trying to smash a girl who’s clearly in middle or grade school? In the manga, they were some petty haters; mad at Jun because he got with Yukana. Cool. They’re still assholes in the anime. That ain’t changed.

But lusting after a little girl? Fam, what the hell? Like, after Nene is introduced (way too early mind you), Minoru starts asking and making some rather suspect questions and statements about Nene. I’ll let these screenshots speak for themselves:

Moving forward, The Virgin Brigade (sans Jun) make an unanimous decision to look at porn magazines in class. They drool over the models’ physical attributes, making rather lewd comments about them. Jun is pressured into reading one. He refuses, but gives up and reluctantly accepts one. While reading it, Junichi is startled by Yukana’s disgust towards the group. Junichi clumsily throws the book behind his back, landing at her feet. Jun hurries to recover it, stumbles, and falls near her. She glares downwards towards him and calls him disgusting. Needless to say, Junichi is utterly embarrassed at what has just transpired.

I_Agree — How I feel about this adaptation.

After school, Junichi confronts his friends about the incident. They tell him to chill and to take advantage of the recent situation. Next, they explain to him how easy(going) gyaru are; suggesting to him that he should pursue Yukana. Once again, he is pressured by his friends into another unwanted situation. In fact, his crew wrote a confession letter addressed to Yukana from Junichi’s point of view. He’s understandably pissed but he catches himself and calms down. He fantasizes about smashing Yukana, inspired after gaining a peep at her panties earlier. He figures that if he confesses and luck out, he’ll get to see more than just her panties, and loses his virginity. They slip the letter into Yukana’s locker and wait.

Hey, dude’s thinking positive with both heads.

Later, Yukana receives the letter and meets with Junichi after reading it. They two meet up , and Junichi “confesses” – by getting on his knees, lowering his head, and begs her for a date. Yukana is disgusted once again, but starts to laugh and tease him, questions him if the only reason why he wants to date her is so that he could to lose his virginity. Dude starts to (over)think that he screwed up, but regains his confidence as Yukana tells him that she finds him cute and wants to get him know him better. She decides that she wants to go out with him, much to his disbelief.

The episode ends with Junichi shouting in victory at his success. Same as the manga.

To conclude, let me explain why I’m dropping this trash adaption. The extra scenes with Yui (the popular and modest girl) and Nene felt unnecessary. It made me assumed that the series was going to stray far from its manga roots; with Junichi attempting to get with every girl (as opposed to the manga where Junichi only had eyes for Yukana). If I had lacked prior knowledge of the manga. and watched the anime fully blind, seeing that possible harem set-up would had made me drop the show off the OP alone.

I’m that strict.

Then, we have Junichi’s crew. His friends are haters in both the manga and anime. They’re a group of young dudes interested in girls and sex, which is normal. What’s not normal is these dudes wanting to have sex with Nene just because she’s a loli.

That’s creepy.

Despite my overal harsh criticism, I will say that I appreciate that the animation team accurately animated panels from the manga shot-by-shot such as the guys looking at porn in the classroom, Junichi’s sexual fantasies, and his confession to Yukana.

As for the animation itself, it’s not too terrible. However, it’s not amazing either. There doesn’t seem to be any inconsistent, off models shots (from what I’ve noticed) or anything that would be jarring. Yet, there’s much more to be desired from the visuals, as many shots lack details, as many parts weren’t “animated” (example – the scene were the students are being lovely-dovely should have had arm moves, kissing, etc like Jun’s fantasy with Yukana were she’s slowly undresses herself, lick her lips, teases Jun, etc.)

Overall, Hajimete no Gal isn’t a completely terrible anime, but it’s not great either. Hell, it’s not even good. It feels like an sub-par romantic-comedy anime that could had have a lot going for it; given how amazing the source material is.

Sadly, the adaption falls flat on its ass due to its overused of fanservice, lack of detailed animation, and uninteresting premises that sway far from its source material. Maybe things will get better as the series carries along in the summer season, but from what I’ve been infromed by die hards fans who’ve read further into the manga than I and watched episodes 2 and 3, I shouldn’t have any hopes that the anime will do the manga justice.

Score 5.5/10.

On the bright side at least this review and score isn’t as brutal as on my Facebook page:

Please note this was written out of pure rage and disappointment.

EDIT: Strong language removed so I can run this post as an ad for Facebook lol

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on July 27, 2017

anime 0

Day 2 – Anime You’re Ashamed You Enjoyed: Umineko no Naku Koro Ni

One should never feel ashamed for enjoying an anime (well, unless it’s some sexualized loli crap, then you should be ashamed and arrested). You shouldn’t feel embarrassed by it – even if it’s a terrible, flawed adaption. You enjoy it regardless. This is how I feel about Studio DEEN’s infamous animation adaption of the visual novel series “Umineko no Naku Koro ni” (When The Seagulls Cry). Despite the disrespect towards the original source material, such as key story elements left out (creating loose ends untied) and animation errors, I hold a small space in my heart for Umineko.

A space I use to make fun of shitty adaptions, but a space nonetheless.

I_have_no_mouth_and_I_must_grin — Seriously nigga how?

The Umineko anime is garbage compared to the original visual novel and amazing manga counterparts. I can’t deny that Studio DEEN did a horrible job on it. Even if visual novels are awkward to adapt (I assume it’s hard to animated scenes from a source material that only has a static image, character sprites, and background music) , Studio Deen is known in the anime community for being lazy with their work and creating horrible adaptions (see: their version of the Fate/Zero anime). Umineko isn’t exempt from DEEN’s laziness.

The Umineko VN is heavy with detailed dialogue scenes which were omitted from the anime (which I can assume DEEN was being lazy). Any mention of kid Ange’s sickness preventing her to attend the Ushiromiya annual family meeting by her parents from Episode 1 in the anime? Nope! Did you love how Rosa barbarically jammed an ink pen in the eyes of a Goat Butler and saying her saying her epic line ‘I’ll show you how lukewarm the hell you came from is!’ before blowing it brains out with her gun in the visual novel? Well, DEEN decide to not add that in.

Reflect on how sorrowful you felt for Ange when she revealed her true identity was to her brother Battler, pleading to him to defeat Beatrice and return to Kid Ange to prevent living the lonely, depressing life as her future self as she was dying in the visual novel. Remember man?

Well, It’s in the anime, but DEEN managed to ruin that with one simple frame:

hqdefault — Oh the jokes the fanbase were cracking with this awkward shot. 2009 was an amazing time in the Umineko fan community.

Because of Deen’s hilarious errors , the Umineko fanbase straight up loathe the anime. The very mention of the anime and anyone admitting that they enjoy it will trigger even the most chilliest Umineko fan. You’ll get attacked with great vigor by the diehards. It’s not worth it unless you like creating conflict. Go on the Umineko tag on tumblr or /jp/, say you think Studio DEEN did nothing wrong with the anime, sit back and watch the rage.

Despite the flaws of the anime, I still love it as it’s special to me.

ange_best_girl — Ange (best Umineko girl) and one reason why I love the series

There’s something about the anime that I can forgive its awfulness. It made me aware of narrative themes in anime such as abuse (sexual, emotional, and physical), the past returning, revenge, and suicide. Umineko (both the visual novel and anime) shows how abuse can be passed down within a family, as we see patriarch figure Kinzo passing down his abusive ways to his children. This results in mother Rosa abusing daughter Maria.

Hell, this gets worse with Eva (suffering from being the sole survival of the massacre of her family in Episode 4) abusing her niece Ange (who too was suffering from losing her love ones). The abuse from her aunt, the impact of losing her family (who was involved in some pretty illegal shit mind you), and being bullied in school drove her to become suicidal. Even with the awfulness of the anime, it made me aware of narrative themes within the story-line which got me hooked into the series.

I do not feel ashamed about my love for the Umineko anime. In fact, I feel given it got me into the original visual novel and the manga (which is a superior adaption compare to the anime), Yea, it’s garbage, but it made me notice themes in anime.

But seriously, you fucked up Studio Deen.

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on June 28, 2017