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Tag: being alone

25 Days of Blogging 0

25 Days of Blogging Day 8: The Power of Going Out Alone

Spring 2015:

While I was still playing the violin on a serious level, I applied for a violinist position with the Colossalcon’s Symphonic Anime Orchestra. I figured that playing with an orchestra (may it be a professional or community orchestra) would be great for a musical resume.  Sent their orchestra director a few videos of me playing the violin, details of my skill level, and why I wanted to play with them.

A few days later, I received an e-mail from the orchestra director that I landed a violinist position with their orchestra.  Go me.  I relay the news to my friends whom were interested in going to Colossalcon. Initially, they were all interested in going.  We heard how legendary Colossalcon’s nightlife and party scene was, how the convention center double as a water park, and the vibe of the nerds  who ran the con (at the time) and the con-goers were chiller than most conventions (most anime conventions and anime nerds have a stick up their ass about partying and alcohol; Colossalcon don’t give a shit).   We got together and started to plan the trip.

Then, bullshit started to happen.
But, the bullshit was a silver lining.

My friends told me that they were low on money, so they couldn’t have the funds to go.  Their jobs wouldn’t let them off. The dates of the convention clashed with events planned prior.  Whatever.  . Perhaps this was the universe telling me I can’t rely on my friends and others forever.  Maybe the universe was giving me a sign that I need to leave  my comfort zone and experience the world – alone.

Thinking quickly, I went to the Collosalcon room share group to see if anyone had space in their room.  Found a guy named Martin whom had space in a suite with his family and friends.  Room space obtained.  Following that, I brought round trip Greyhound tickets to Sandusky, Ohio. Sixteen hours of hell both ways, but it was an amazing experience traveling alone either way.  Got the days off from my dickhead ass former boss. Finally, I counted down the days before I had to depart for my trip.

The day came.  Me, by myself, going alone to Sandusky.  Trust me: it was scary going alone. But, it was worth it at the end.  Up until then, I relied on my friends to travel with me outside of the St. Louis area.  I was too dependent on them.  However, I wouldn’t grow as a person until I learned how to travel and make moves as a solo act.

And you know what? It was the smartest move I made in and with my life.

Going to Colossalcon alone meant that I didn’t have to worry about somebody who lost their room key, therefore, making me drop whatever I was doing at the con and get them a new key.  I didn’t have to fear that my more awkward friends couldn’t control their awkwardness for longer than 15 seconds (I know it’s an anime con but being at your precious little weeaboo festival doesn’t mean that you should throw your social skills out of the window).   Didn’t have to stop a hot headed friend from fighting people because somebody hurt his pride.  I could do whatever whatever I pleased.

It was a peaceful con experience outside the drunk ass nerds wandering around the con.

***

There’s power in going out alone.  It shows that you don’t rely on others to have a good time.  You are more than willing to make moves without approval or dependence of others.  People don’t hold you back. Moving freely around to bars, clubs, etc. gets easier.  You can come and go at your own time. Making new friends and connections is much easier. Yes, you do need at times to hang out with others.  Isolating yourself from others is dangerous.  You shouldn’t cut people out of your lives – especially your (good, true) friends.  There’s nothing honorable about being a loner.  Nobody will praise you for being alone. They might be inspired by you to going out alone one day, but don’t expect praise.

However, you can’t depend on others to have a good time.

Question: Have you ever gone to a club, bar, event, or social outing and you had to leave it early due to the stupidity of one friend?  I have.

One time in particular, I had to leave a bar an hour after being it.  A friend of mines had a little bit too much to drink prior to hitting the club with our crew.  I do not know what happened, but apparently, somebody checked him and put him in his place (he might have been hitting on somebody else’s girl knowing him). He got in his feelings and tried to fight a few people – only to get his ass beat and thrown out of the club.  If you’re riding solo, you don’t have to worry about a friend like that.

Going solo also means that you don’t have to deal with certain friends who have bad social anxiety disorder (translation: being a bitch disorder) flaring up because they’re too many people around in a place.  A few years ago, a friend and I went to a huge concert in the downtown area of my town.  Wanting to break away from him and do my own thing (meaning walk around, talk to people, and hit  a makeshift bar up), I separated myself from him.  If he needed me, I he could text me on my phone.  As I’m walking away from the large dance pit, I saw this dude following me – everywhere – like a lost dog.  I asked him why was he was following me abd he was like “Well, I can’t do large crowds. My anxiety gets bad when I’m alone with too many people.”

Want to learn how to overcome your social issues? Get out and be more social – alone.  I am not saying it’s easy. It fact, it’s never easy the first time. But, you gotta over it.  You can’t always roam around the world, let alone your hometown with friends forever.  Your friends have jobs, families, careers, and other things to worry about over you trying to convince them to hang out (I’m talking to you bitch made cowardly males and females who make passive aggressive statuses on Facebook over this topic). Do you know what will happen if you don’t get out into the world alone? You will grow up and bitter with others. You will be like the millions of the elderly in nursing home filled with regret and remorse for the actions they didn’t take in life; hating on others until the day you leave this earth.

Get out there. Explore the world – alone.

-Yuki The Snowman.

P.S.
Sorry for the super late post, a lack of a featured image, and grammatical errors. I overslept this morning due to going out last night by myself at a local bar.  I should have had taken a picture of me going out alone as the feature image.  lol whoops. Didn’t want to break this daily blogging streak.

FURTHER RESEARCH ON GOING OUT ALONE: