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Anime convention 0

Anime Central – Day 1 (Part 2)

Okay, so I lied about taking a break from drinking.  I took another shot of Viniq because I’m an alcoholic and it’s delicious.  But mostly because of the fact that I’m an alcoholic.  Okay, now I gotta prep and get somewhat sober for the Umineko/Higurashi meet.  I checked my phone for the time.  5:20PM.  Good.  Just forty minutes until I have to meet up with the cosplayers. That’s more than enough time to get ready which is great, given an old friend just messaged me on Facebook.

“Hey Ben! We drinking at the Red Bar!  Wanna join us?”

Tyler is an old online and ACEN  friend of mine.  I’ve known him since maybe around 2010 on the old Anime Central’s forums and /cgl/ (the cosplay and gothic lolita board of 4chan), way before the ACEN’s Facebook groups grew and became the shitholes that they are today.  He invited me to the Red Bar, one of the Hyatt’s overpriced bar and grill restaurant (great food though).

“They’ve food down there?  My dumbass started drinking on an empty stomach. I need some food badly.”  I replied.

“Yea, they got a great menu.  We’ll still be here by the time you get here.”

“Alright bet!” Food sounds great along with old friends and I already know I need the food for extra drinking.  Well, time to make my way to the Red Bar.
I hit the Red Bar up.  I spot Tyler and his crew sitting around a tall, smooth white glass table.  They had already finished eating and drinking, but stuck around for my food to arrive and eat.   The server gives me a menu and I look over it, trying to search for any foods with meat.

 

“Ben, you like pineapples and hamburgers?” Tyler asked.

“Yep, separate.  Never had the two combined. What’s up?”  I questioned him.  What weird food entrée  you’re trying to convince me to eat?  Ya white people be eating some weird shit.

“Try the Tsunami Burger.  It sounds weird, but trust me, it’s great.  It’s a little sloppy though.”

“Hmm, it does sounds good. I’ll take it!”

I placed my order.  As we waited, we reminisced on our wild days of /cgl/  and the ACEN message boards.  One topic that was brought up was whiny old ass, entitled ass nerdy crybabies who  blamed the rave for the parties and bad things happening.   They would spend hours from the precious day to bitch about how ACEN focused more on the raves and parties, than the actual anime related content.  Each rant ended with the following:

“I’M NEVER COMING BACK TO ANOTHER ACEN AGAIN!”

“IF ACEN KEEP THEIR FOCUS  ON THE PARTIES THEN I WILL GO TO ANIME MIDWEST INSTEAD!”

“Can I get a 420 hook up for next ACEN?”

“Who was that cute guy I blew at the rave you had such a huge dick I need it inside me again”

I tend to reply with a smartass remark such as “So we’re seeing ya next ACEN?” or “Nobody cares.  You’re coming back next time.”  I tend to get blocked bythe butthurt nerds as an result.

As we finished the story, my Tsunami Burger arrived.  As a proud, card carrying member of the FatAss Hamburger Eaters Society of America (FAMESOA for short), this burger gets my personal rank of “Top Tier Burger”.   Visually, the burger has a vivid aesthetic as supported by the chopped bright yellow Pineapples, flashy green from the green peppers, teriyaki paints the buns coast-to-coast, which overlaps the veggies and fruits toppings.

 

The sweetness from the pineapples and the light spice from the peppers work in synergy to provide a salty and sweet flavor from each bit- fuck this burger the buns are falling apart too much sauce and water based veggies and fruits. 0/10 this burger is banned from FAMESOA.  I do not recommend it to any other members.

Seriously, it was a great burger but again, tomatoes, pineapples, and teriyaki sauce weakens beard, thus creating a finger food mess.

 

Fuck, its 6:00.  Gotta head out!   I paid for my food and bid farewell to Tyler and his crew, and head to the smoker’s area, which the Higurashi/Umineko photoshot was taking place.

Wow.  Fuck, there’s only six When They Cry (WTC) cosplayers this year (Beatrice, Battler, Willard, Tohya, [Umineko], Rena, and Mion [Higurashi] cosplayers) compared to years past (I think there was about 15-20 WTC cosplayers in 2015 when Ryukishi07 was a guest).  The fandom is dying in the ACEN community.  It’s  disheartening to see a cosplay group I’ve supported for about 5 years fading away.   Maybe I should had brought my Goat-Kun cosplay with me this year despite years of damage on it.  Oh Well.

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Beatrice, Battler, Willard, Mion, Rena, and Tohya (Umineko and Higurashi)
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ISIS beheading video screenshot

Sniff, sniff, sniff.  No.  That’s not me crying at the eventually death of the Higurashi/Umineko cosplay community.  I’m sniffing some good kush.  Normally,  I’ll be okay with people smoking tress, but around an area where there are photoshoots  going on? You know ,there are young kids and non weed smokers around my dude?  Come  on now!  At least wait until after sunset when all the straight edge baby nerds are gone. If you gotta smoke, at least get a vape so you won’t have that loud smell carrying over or go to the woods by the Hyatt.

Goddammit you fucking stupid idiots are ruining this shit for everyone else.

After the photoshoot (which was literally 10 minutes), we spent the reminding 50 minutes talking about the When They Cry series, Touhou, and general otaku shit that I forgotten over the course of a week due to alcoholism.  Tohya, the leader of the WTC cosplay group, brought up the Umineko fighting game “Golden Fantasia”, and my face lit up.  I have the game on my laptop, and I haven’t play against a human opponent in years. Chance time!

(If you do not know about Golden Fantasia, imagine Marvel Vs. Capcom 1 meets Guilty Gear, but with Umineko no Naku Koro ni characters throw into the mix.  It’s a fun but obscured anime fighting game, but with a very small community. It is getting an official English release soon, and I hope it’ll revive the community.)

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Golden Fantasia CROSS box art
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Lucifer performing her Meta Super “Seven Sisters of Purgatory”

Seriously,  I want more people cosplaying from Umineko at ACEN next year.  If you’re an Umineko  or Higurashi cosplayer reading, please cosplay as a character from the series next year. I won’t though ha ha ha!

Tohya and I headed back to my room.  Upon arrival, he was impressed by the alcohol I had laying around the room.

“Are you planning to make a bunch of screwdrivers tonight?” I had some vodkas and a giant bottle of orange juice on the table of my room.

“Nah, just have them around for a friend’s party tomorrow.  Although having some Screwdrivers don’t sound too bad right now!”  I laugh while setting up my laptop and the game.  God I got a problem with alcohol.

 

Alright! Game is booted and we’re ready to roll!  I gave him a fair warning that I wasn’t going to go easy on me, in which he replied he won’t do the same for me.  I like that!  The respect between two fighting game players that understand you must play at your full best.  We chose our characters, me with the sibling team Battler and Ange, and him with the “Oh you piece of fucking  shit you’re making me hate you” team of Dlanor and Ronove.

So, Dlnaor and Ronove.  Fuck them.  In Golden Fantasia’s meta, the combination of these two gives the player a pure defense  heavy team, as they’re consider to have the best defense in the game, and it doesn’t help that their already large health stack up with one another.  Yay.

And then we have  their godddamn synergy of their fucking skills. Jesus.  Dlanor’s skill is “Armor Boost”, which  does what it says on the tin.  It increases her and her ally’s defense by 50%. Ronove’s skill is Counter Boost, which increase damage from counter hits. Dlanor has great poking counter tools, and Ronove, who’s already a fucking walking brick wall can do stupid bullshit by having Dlanor’s Armor Boost on him.  It’s annoying.

So if you ever play this game I hope you enjoy fucking fighting a loli tank with a sword and a butler tank with a sexy mustache.  Because I did not for the first match.

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Dlanor of Golden Fantasia.  Overpowered loli tank of the game.

We’re playing, getting into the fight.  Tohya’s jamming to Jay Z’s “Dead Presidents 2”, which I “modded” into the game’s music soundtrack (I just simply replaced the audio track of Ange’s stage). During our first match of the game, I combo into  Battler’s grope special from his bread-and-button combo.  Tohya’s friend Battler (the Battler cosplayer who I also invited) made a funny in-fandom joke.

“Why is Battler trying to grope Dlanor?  There’s nothing there! Also, I wonder what happens if  he tried to grope Ange, his sister, with that move?”

 

I replied “Well, I’m pretty Ange would enjoy being groped by her own brother.  She has a pretty heavy brother complex.” We all laughed because it’s the truth.

(One of her in-game endings has her stepping and grinding her shoe on Battler’s head, demanding that he calls her “Mistress Ange” each time she spanks him.  See, that would be incredibly hot if it wasn’t her brother.  Maybe if the sub was either her friend Lucifer or best friend Mammon, then it’d be totally hot).

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And this is why she’s my Umineko waifu

We went on for a few more matches, and talked about how deep and fun the game is.  He also shared my hopes that MangaGamer’s English release will bring back interest to the series to the West, as we  are passionate about the Umineko series and want the community to strive once more.

Okay, enough of that heart felt sappy  side of me and my weeaboo longing for my favorite fanbase  to be revived.  You guys are here to read about my tales of debauchery and I promise to deliver!  As Tohya and I were finishing up some final matches, my boy “Bucket Wave” (fake named inspired by his love for vaporwave and bucket hats) came through with his giant Bluetooth speaker, lights, trees, and Whiskey!

Yea, it’s turn up party time!  It’s Friday night of ACEN and we’re getting fucked up.

Fair warning: The following is straight up pure debauchery.  Some debauchery I may have forgotten over the course of the aftermath of ACEN.  To remember some things from the ACEN weekend, the following paragraphs were written with me under the influence of alcohol pre-editing.   Took some shots of the reminder Martell I had and some UV Blue mixed with sprite while watching Otaku no Video (it’s a great OVA).  Hopefully it’ll give me drunken recall.

You’ve been warned.

 

Alright, so drunken memory recall did not work.  It only made me drunk.  Fuck it, here’s what I can recall from Friday night up until I had passed out around 5 in the morning the following Saturday (which was more of an exciting day).

 

Bucket Wave and I took some shots of  whiskey, waiting for my boys “Bowser”, “KW”, and “Yakuza” (he’s not an actual Yakuza, he’s a fan of the  Sega video game series) to come up and pre-game with us.  I owed Bowser some money for a blunt, Yakuza is an old internet friend of mines from the Persona group “Shin Megami Tensei Network” (who apparently members of said group were helping co-hosting the Persona orgy at ACEN) and I promised JW I’ll drink with him and do shots to help get us right for the night.

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Yakuza fanboy and myself

Following the whiskey and Hennessy shots (provided by Yakuza), Bucket Wave suggested we do some dabs off his wax pen.   Usually, dabs get me incredibly fucked up.  Like you ever seen the Truth Commercial with the girl “Sara” straight up melting into the couch, stoned the fuck outta her mind?  Yeah, that’s me off dabs.

Oh well, it’s Friday night of ACEN, and we’re getting fucked up at 9:00PM. I plan to be fucked up throughout the night. You think I’m just gonna  end with 3 shots of Hennessy, 3 shots of Whiskey, an alpha version of my Sailor Saturn cocktail, and hits of dabs?  Nah fuck that! We’re about to head to the smoker’s circle and smoke some blunts too!

The Smoker Circle is already bumping.  Nigga, there are half naked ravers and cosplayers walking about and shaking their asses and doing cool tricks with the raver sticks (I don’t know nor care about what they’re actually call), some young college-aged nerds doing keg stands (how the fuck did these white boys manager to sneak in a keg I dunno),   s a d b o y s sippin’ lean and listening to vaporwave, crazy cosplayers snorting Special K, and us smart niggas smoking trees and drinking alcohol because we are good noodles.

Fuck that lame ass rave. The Smoker’s Circle is where it at.

My crew settled at the little cut inside the stone pillar (the cut that has the door that leads into the maintenance center of the Hyatt) and sparked up a blunt.  Maybe two blunts?  I can’t remember, I should have made notes as I went along.  Just know  the kush was making me feel good along with whatever else I had in my system.  I get a message from my boy “Flash” asking if I was still pregaming and if I wanna kick it with “Bgod” (actual nickname) their crew.  Of course I’m down.

 

So, here’s a funny story about Flash and I.  Around pre ACEN 2015 (or 2014, can’t remember), me and Flash had an online beef.  I was doing my usual shitposting and trolling on the groups when I had went  after Flash. Flash got mad and wanted to meet up to fight in Chicago, so I could back up my “internet tough guy” talk in real life.  I was like “Alright.  I ain’t from Chicago, but meet up in ACEN wit that shit nigga”.
ACEN 2014 or 2015 came about.  I’m at my boy’s party smoking a Black and Mild on the balconey.  I spot a group of young cats breaking down trees, upset they forgot to grab a rillo (White Owls, Game, Zig-Zag, etc.) beforehand.   Me being the utter asshole I am, I gave them my last Black and Mild so they didn’t have to walk 20 minutes to the Moblie station for a rillo.

As I gave a random guy form the group a rillo he asks “Are you Ben Snow?”

“Yes.” I replied back.

“I’m Flash.  The guy who wants to fight you.  I didn’t know you were actually nice and chill in real life!  Sorry about that whole shit, it just that people love to run their mouths online around Chicago and not back it up in real life.”
This dude wasn’t an internet tough guy as I originally thought.  The dude was well built as well as looking like he can legit fight physically.  We talked about nerdy shit for about an hour and clicked well, and ended our online beef right there.    Back to the present,  I’m up in their place smoking one of my blunts with his crew, just chilling and talking about our own ACEN plans and trying to find more parties to kick it.  As we are trying to figure out our next move, something told me to check my phone.

‘Room 10xx.  Throwing a crazy party like last year.’

“Ayy, ‘Sid’ is throwing a party at his suite again this year. Let’s hit that up!” I suggested to everyone.  So Sid and his legendary parties he hosts at ACEN.  Oh man, holy hell! For the past five years I’ve known Sid and attending his parties, they always are so lit and wild.  There’s a 90% chance that it’ll get shut down by the police, hotel staff, and convention security because of noise complaints.  And I don’t mean his next door neighbors bitching.  I mean, the entire floor in which he host his parties tend to rant and bitch about the noise levels.   When you go to this man’s parties,  it’s standing room only. Good luck trying to find space to sit down and chill, because you won’t.

Well, time to go to one of the ACEN’s masters of lit parties.

 

As always, Sid’s party is packed and wild.   Even with him having a two story vast suite, the room is jammed with people.  Music and voices are sounding thunderous,  dominating all other noises. Do not try to speak over the music, you’ll lose. That’s how lit Sid’s party can be.

While chatting with people I know who’re already at the party, Sid comes up to me and we reunite for another night of alcoholic and drug fuled madness.   He jokingly tells me that he was hosting one of the many ACEN origies on the top floor, and that I should join in.  I laughed, and headed up there with Bucket.

There were people on the top floor, but no fucking.  One very small (perverted) part of me was low-key hoping there was an orgy going down.  However, I’m socially awkward and shy around people I do not know, so I wouldn’t get any action regardless.

Poor me I blame society and Christianity for making me like this. Especially Christianity

I’m on the top floor, talking to Bucket, drinking beers and what now when our friend came up to us. They’re clearly distressed, upset, and scared.  Something happened.  Something that pretty much made me want to fight.  Somebody who I thought was a friend did something to another friend of ours ( I won’t go into details because I don’t wanna stir up drama).

I was furious.  How could somebody who I called a “friend” for years could do this to another friend?  Nah, nah, nah, fuck this nigga, I’m killing him in front of all these people for what he did. How could you do that to a friend man? Before I lost wheatver  sense I had left, I decided to leave the party.  Alcohol+my temper+that bullshit =  me being arrested for murder.  Somebody in our crew suggested to go to one last party.  Good.  Because I can’t be here any longer.

My boy heard word about a VIP suite party going on in the Hyatt.  A VIP suite party must be banging as hell. I mean, it has the word “VIP” in it, so it must be a great party.  Let’s head there!  We get to the room, and it’s mostly dead.  I can’t really be too upset, it’s almost 3:30 in the morning, and most, if not all parties  were wrapping up.  There were a few stragglers partying about but nothing major really.  Eh, nothing is really going on here, the alcohol and weed is getting to me, and I’m tired as all hell.  I’m gonna head back to my room and past out.

I get near my room, and outside of it I see my friend “Goro” either getting in or out of his cosplay (Goro from Persona 5), I dun care, I just wanna past out (and finish this part of the story).  I get in our room and crash on the bed.

“4:00am?  Fuck, I’ve been out that long huh?  Fuck it, I’ll get up the morning and go to a few panels or something.”

Oh, Ben.  You’re cute.

Stay tune for Night 2! Wait, night 2?  You mean Day 2 right Ben?

Nope!

 

Anime community 0

Anime Central – Day 1 (Part 1)

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You know what’s awesome? Having a Hilton Hhonors membership.  A Gold tier membership at that.  I don’t have to pay for breakfast as a perk.  And goddammit, I need the early morning fuel.  Can’t make fun of weeaboos on an empty stomach ya know.  I mean, I could, but I’d pass out. I’d wind up in the  hospital or something . That’ll be an unfavorable position; giving the weeaboos and the ACEN community the power to make fun of my dumbass mistake.

Can’t have that.  No I cannot.

Cold meal of buffet
If you knew how the kitchen in were the prep their food look, you wouldn’t wanna eat Hilton food. Just from personal experience. 🙂

I’ll spare you useless details about my breakfast and jump to me meeting up with my boy “Alan” at the Hyatt.

Alan is one of my closest and bestest friend in the whole wide big ass fucked up world we call planet Earth.  We’ve been buddies since high school (or about 13 years).  Honestly, he’s somebody I can call a brother.  Not a lover (I doubt his girlfriend would like that) but a brother.  Check out his blog and give him a follow.

Alright, fuck this sappy heartwarming bullshit.

Alan needed to use my room to prep for his cosplay.  There was time left before I had to check out from my Hilton room.  However, he wanted to get stoned first before working on it. I like his idea.  Smoke some trees and get right before we start the day.  Funny enough, my new homeboy “Bill” wanted to smoke as well!  Kill five birds with one stone.  I, and I alone, can perform such a feat because I am  Benjamin Snow the Greatest.

(I’m so full of it it’s not even funny)

As we waited for Bill’s arrival, an Incident Response Team (ACEN’s volunteer security team, or IRT) member approached me.  Goddammit.  It’s only a quarter to nine, and already, I’m in trouble.  And fuck, I must be in deep trouble.  Like I’ve done something illegal (not yet) trouble.

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ACEN’s  Jr. Rent-A-Cop Brigade: IRT  (Source: https://www.acen.org/about-us/volunteer/department-descriptions/)

“Are you Benjamin Snow?  I’m here to beat your ass for runnin’ your mouth online.”

 

I never imagined that somebody forreal  would take my offer to confront and fight me in real life. Honestly, I was shock.  I didn’t know how to respond.  As my mind process what I should do, he followed up with

“Nah, I’m just playing.  I’m Orion’s Belt, a Facebook friend of yours.”

Whew!  Okay, I don’t have to assault an IRT member today.  Not that I would actually do it any other time.  Perhaps I will in a few years down the road when I have mental breakdown phase due to my B-list celebrity status.

We spoke briefly about my online persona, refering to me as the (in)famous Benjamin Snow to his teammate. (I kinda sorta hate it when people say I’m famous in the convention scene because I’m really not). He praised my legendary trolling skills are (they’re nowhere near legendary).

Look, I get that that you, the  fans,  admire me  and everything, but please; stop calling me famous and legendary.

After exchanging farewells with Orion, Alan brought up that I have at least one IRT member in my network.  That’s something huh? Being somewhat known in the community, I have a personal IRT acknowledgement. May it be one guy, but still  my network is slowly becoming diversify.

Still waiting for Bill and wanting to pass time, Alan and I decided to create a cosplaying drinking for the convention. I think it’s a very easy game, take a shot for X cosplay Y series you spot at the convention.

The rules were as followed (taken from my original Facebook post):

‘ACEN COSPLAY DRINKING GAME. Take a shot for:

*Sailor Moon. Triple for Galaxia or Saturn or any evil Scouts. Take a Molly for a Molly (Naru) cosplayer.
*Dragon Ball. Triple for Merged Zamasu or outside of Z/GT
*Virgin Killer.
Wendy’s. 4x if they work at that place.
*Dragon Maid. Triple for male characters.
Attack on Titan. Triple for Titans. 
*Touhou. Triple for actual female cosplayers
*My Hero Acamedia
*Overwatch
*Final Fantasy 15
*Star Wars.
*Street Fighter
*Undertale
*Pokemon
*Rick and Morty. Nigga you may as well cosplay as Rick.
*Soul Eater
*Fate/Zero 5x for Saber cuz she’s the worse girl unlike Rin
*Disney’

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Yea, you might had well done this off my drinking game.

I, Benjamin Andrew Snow, do not claim responsibility for any idiots who may had die from this during ACEN. I’m just simply cleaning out the gene pool.  Following the creation of the game,  Bill finally arrived! About time nigga!  To the smokers’ circle we go!

Anime Cental’s infamous smokers’ circle. A grey and stone grey circular structure, divided into 4-6 separate “pocket” spaces .  It winds itself around Hyatt tower, supported by featureless pillars.  Early morning, it’s pretty mellow.  People tend to just chill, smoke, and drink coffee while reading the news, may it be old media (newspapers) or new (cellphones).

Nothing exciting happens around this time.   I like it like that. I like the peaceful mellowness of a morning smoke.

We encountered Alan’s friends in the circle, inside one of the smaller pockets, cut into the support pillar.  They  were pregaming since Wednesday night, and claim they had broke into the convention center late that night.  Jesus, maybe I should do that next year.  Day -1 drinking and partying. However, breaking into the convention center for fun and exploration? Nah. They’ll shoot my black ass.

Real shit tho, Day -1 sounds like a great idea for exploring Downtown Chicago.

Once Alan and I got our minds right off the demon grass and devil’s wax, we marched back inside to the Hyatt, meeting   up with two of our other friends. These  friends, I’ve known very well through a secret Facebook group chat.

Our friends “Miku” and “Scotch”.

Miku is rather well known throughout the ACEN community due to her shitposting efforts (her level of shitposting isn’t as superior as mine) and unfortunately, drawing in the (creepy) thirsty fucks towards her.  Thirsty fucks, she often has to reject on the daily.  People lack personal boundaries. She’s an all-around cool girl.

Scotch, as his name implies, is a huge fan of scotch liquor, and has an expansive knowledge of top shelf liquors (thanks to getting me hip on that $40 whiskey fam).  He does a commission work for cosplays.  He’s pretty short, and looks about 20 despite being 30.  That’s  dem Asian genes for ya.

Since Alan and I had most of our crew together, we decided to check into our respected Hyatt rooms.  However, our rooms weren’t ready yet. More sitting and  looking awkward stupid!  Go us!

Speaking of looking stupid,  get this;  I’m looking around my surroundings when I spot this dude with a red hat, white lettings, and a certain front and format.  You get where I’m going with this right?  No? Its okay readers, I didn’t expect you to get it.

I’m straight giving this white boy this vicious look.   Like, I can’t fuckin’ believe this alt-right edgelords are forreal wearing these hates at the cons.  Great.  Trump supporters at muh SJW left wing ACEN.   As I’m giving  the guy my infamous death stare of doom, Alan was like “Dude chill, it says ‘Make Konami Great Again!’.

Whoops.

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Build the wall around Kojima Productions

I want a hat like that now.  I mean, Konami will never be great again, but I want it! Granted, I would probably receive some strange looks, and black people coming up to me and asking me if I’m on some coon shit.  Ah well.  Thanks Trump. Thanks Obama. Seriously thanks a lot guys.

 

Since neither Alan nor my rooms were ready, Scotch requested if Miku and I could help in carry some drinks form his car into his room in exchange for beers and shots.  I’m down for free alcohol! Plus I was getting bored.

Look, if you want me to help you out, you gotta give me great shit. Alcohol.  Weed.  Food.  Money. Sexual favors (18+ only).  Or all five! I do not care!  Just pay me in alcohol and I’ll help ya out things for ya.

Well,  off we go! A black man, an Asian man, and a white chick together in harmony.  Racial unity at ACEN (sans my racist comments and jokes)!

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Labeled under: “Things that will never happen”.

A wistful tone  sat in as we walked thorugh the skybridge (it connets to multiple hotels and the convention center itself).  Years ago, the skybridge was decorated with creepy, disturbing surrealism paintings.  The hallway hosted eerie paintings;  humans starring you down and unsettling landscapes.  You felt at  unease walking through the humid corridors, questioning if the painitngs are watching you.  It wasn’t a great place to walk about intoxicated.

Today, the Hyatt’s skybridge is bland,  just like your sex life.

As we trek through skybridge, we caught a glance of the enewly located, enormous, and dully illuminated game room.  We didn’t see much of it, since Miku didn’t have her badge yet.

“I do not have my badge. I wish I could get inside, but I can only look.” Miku lamented.

“I wonder how many guys have said the same line about you.” Scotch replied in jest.

We all laughed at his diss towards Miku’s creepy fanboys. Poor Miku though.  Can’t imagine how she has to deal with the creepy dudes on the ACEN groups.  Seriously, ya niggas need to learn personal boundaries.

(By the way I’m totally stealing Scotch’s joke.  I’m getting rich off that one when I start my comedy tour in 2020.)

Eventually, we reached Scotch’s car, which surprising wasn’t a rice burner as I was expecting it to be(goddamit Ben). We grabbed the goods (cases of Monster, Root Beer, and Pepsi), and headed to his room.  Miku was struggling to carry the cases, due to her props and cosplay.  Some nice young, dude came along to help her out.  An extra party member to help us!   What a nice fellow!  He did depart after we got to his room. Kinda like in Final Fantasy 2 where the fourth party member is just a temp.

(In her words : “He probably saw a cute girl struggling, and wanted to help her out,  in hopes he’ll hook up.”  Something like that I don’t fucking remember.)

For my peerless efforts of the Great Soda Case March of 2017, Scotch rewards me with beers and a Bloody Mary!   Thank you, Scotch!  I needed the 1:00PM pregame, and an excuse to support my undying alcoholism.  Alright! Got my mind right for the day. Alan hits up my line, telling me that his room is ready. I end my mission with one last beer (for the time being), and proceed towards Alan’s room for a nice, warm shower.  Besides, I’d be a giant hypocrite for mocking unwashed weebs, yet I am unwashed myself.
As I  head back to the Hyatt lobby , my eyes caught an offensive sight.  Such a sight that will even  enraged even more the most chill person.
“Ya crackas are really this bold this year, huh?  Blackface? Really whiteboy?!”  I’m infuriated.   It’s 2017, and we still have people think it’s okay to wear blackface.

“This white boy is out in public, forreal in blackface.  This cracker’s really fuckin’ using blackface for his cosp- wait it’s actually a black guy with an obvious skin condition.  My lord I’m a piece of shit I need to stop doing this!”

Whew boy.  Ben, what is wrong with you today?  You know what, just go take your shower, because you need to wash away some shame, boy. Just go!

Alright!  I’ve arrived at Alan and his fiancé “Emerald” room at last!  Finally, I can take a shower, and after that,  belittle all the other weeaboos who refuse to!  They can’t say shit, because they smell like shit, and I won’t.  Besides,  I gotta smell good for all the fine ass kohai who want Benpai to notices them.  I can’t disappoint them at all.  Okay, maybe in bed, but that’s another story.

I gather my body wash and soap, hop in the shower, and got the Drake and Big Sean bumpin’ off the Bluetooth speaker.  Drake and Big Sean are my biggest motivators for the convention (besides making money), especially with their song “Blessings.”  I’m at ACEN for a goodtime and not a longtime. Get my networks right, make money off bartending the homeboy’s engagement party, have a cute, shy, quiet kohai get super happy I noticed her.

Hopefully one that’s  cosplaying as one of my waifus (Rin from fate/zero, Misato from Evangelion, Sailor Saturn from Sailor Moon, or Sabrina from Pokemon to name a many, many few)  take her back to my room, and fuck brains out from behind while she is in said waifu cosplay, moaning out my name in a hentai-like voice.

__eldhia_ryouki_drawn_by_fujii_kazuha__0f828fd31292dd3276f03cfafeeea545
Me (in white-face) and your bitches  I took at ACEN.

…A nigga can dream. Sigh.  My luck with women is low despite my confidence (I’m so oblivious to flirting my lord.)
‘K. Out of the shower Benji.  I get that you wanna be fresh and all, but that Irish Spring soap and bodywash gotta last you the entire weekend.  But hey!  Do you  smell fresh as fuck, Ben! I’m feeling good.  Finally, I can make fun of smelly weebs, and not be a hypocrite.  To the con floor!

 

Or not.  My phone start’s buzzing, the T-Moblie jingle plays off the speaker, and I pick up the phone.

“Eto…Moshi moshi.  Benyamin Yuki des.”  I answered in my most faux Japanese accent.

“What?” The hotel clerk responded.   “Mr. Snow, you’re room is now ready!  Please come by to pick up your room keys!”

“Arrigatou!”

“Please stop sir.  You’re not Japanese.”  The clerk hung up.

Damn.  I was hoping to impress her with my fake Japanese accent, and butchering of the language.  She sounded cute.  That what I get for trying to flirt with everyone, including hotel clerks. Well, my room’s ready. Adrian and I need to drop our shit off, so off I go.

I enter  the check-in line.  Thankfully, it’s short.  Good. The quicker I go through the line, and get into my room, the quicker I can make fun of nerds, to build my massive ego and arrogance up.  Alright, finally it’s my turn! .  I step up to the clerk, a cute woman with a purple wig.  Awesome!  Purple’s my favorite color! And hell, she sounded just like the woman whom I was failing to impress over the phone.  Maybe if she notice how handsome and fresh I am, she’ll be sworn by my fake Japanese.

“Hi!  I’m here to pick up my keys to my room!” I don’t know how to say that in Japanese, so I went for the English route instead.

“Here’s your keys Mr. Snow!  You’re in the Executive Wing rom 2432! Enjoy the con!”

She hands the key over to me and send me on my way.

Wait, did I hear her right?  Executive Wing!?  As in, the exclusive large rooms only reversed for the most balling of niggas? And I only paid low tier room pricing for it? Fuck yea, this is gonna be a great ACEN!  Let’s make it  greater by flexing on niggas on Facebook (even though I didn’t pay full price for the room, and I had to stack, invest, and save money for the convention with extreme discipline)

grind_hard
I had to grind hard to bullshit you people.

Hooray for lying like I got it!

I’ve arrive at my room. It’s  slightly larger than the normal rooms. The room featured two queen size beds, a nice marble table, an Eazy-Boy type chair, and shelves.   Hey, at least the area is quiet; it’s not too far off from Alan’s room.  Plus, I don’t have to deal with the infamous congested elevators of the main wing.  I take this unexpected upgrade and it’s benefits!

My phone goes off again.  It’s Adrian. He informs me that Alan, Emerald, and he were off to some store I don’t care about, and that it’ll take them a while to get back. Oh.  I was hoping they’ll come with me to the liquor store. Guess I go myself. Back to theworld of weebs and normies.

I leave the building, ready to walk for twenty-four  minutes for booze.  Hold up! That black Nissan mini SUV parked out front with the Punisher logo on the back.  Don’t tell me that’s…nah.  That can’t be my boy “Punisher” (I’m running out of fake names to protect my friends).  Holy fuck, I can’t be that lucky!

“Hey Ben what’s up man!” Yes!  It’s my boy Punisher indeed! Cool country white guy from my home area.  Man, I really am lucking out this year.  If I can just throw him some gas money, I can totally not have to walk in the rain like a sad, lonely alcoholic nerd, and have him take me to the liquor store!

“Hey bro, could you take me to the liquor store?  I’ll throw in some gas money or something!”

“Sure man, I didn’t want you to walk in this rain in the first place!”

Thank god for great friends.

Back to Rosemont Liqour. Now, common sense would had  your boy  to get all, it not, most of my alcohol when Joe had took me up there the day before, but  I was waiting for extra money that I was owed to me from various people.  Plus, I didn’t wanna spend any cash I had in my bank from the other day (just in case ya know).

Time to go shopping!

I have a main quest, and two side quests.  The main quest  requires me  finding the indigents for an fishbowl-type drink Alan and Emerald requested me to make: Mermaid Water, a cocktail created by popular YouTube bartender “Tipsy Bartender”.

Here’s the details  of the drink from his website:

The Mermaid Water Cocktail is the type of drink that will have you asking if you ever feel like a pirate. If you want to feel the gentle breeze of the ocean punch you in the mouth, then this is a drink for you. It is basically a bunch of delicious alcohol mixed with delicious juice. The exact sort of thing that pirates need when crossing vast seas of water in search of various forms of plunder.

(source: http://www.tipsybartender.com/Mermaid+Water+Cocktail)

It’s not that deep.

mermaid water
Jug of Mermaid Water  I made for my homeboy’s party.

Main quest easily completed, sans Punisher and I having  difficulties finding Blue Curacao (which was in front of us, just on a lower shelf).  Alright! Now onward to my first side question: the indigents to my new cocktail creation: Sailor Saturn.

saturn
Pretty much how I describe my cocktail

[Sailor Saturn cocktail]

Prior to ACEN, I planned to create a cocktail based off the Sailor Scouts from the anime and manga series “Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon”.  I already made one based off my second favorite scout;  Sailor Mercury (UV Blue Vodka, Blueberry liqueur, Sprite. Might throw in Blue Cuacao next time I make it. BTW OC dough nut steel), so I figure why not make one  based off my first fictional crush favorite Sailor Scout of all time?

With the Sailor Saturn cocktail, I was thinking of going with aesthetic look; I needed either a purple colored liquor or liqueur to match her visual design. Next, I wanted to play off her powers of death and destruction, so I need liquors that represented destruction perfectly: 100 Proof Vodka and Hennessy.

(I was originally going to go with Everclear, but I also didn’t want niggas to think they’re a Solider of Destruction.  I get that Hennything is possible but I didn’t want people dying off my shit.  Ya can’t rebirth like Saturn)

Unfortunately (or fortunately), the store didn’t have 100 Proof vodka on stocked.  Goddammit.  But they had Hennessy!  Go me…or I would say that,  if I didn’t saw  Martell Cognac for under $27 (special deal), as opposed to the $40 of Henny.  Hennything is possible, including a discount on a competitor’s product! GO ME INDEED!  I love saving me money and acting like a cheap ass! Plus, I never tried Martell before.

You gotta try new things.  It’ll get you far.  Trust me.

Next, was finding a purple colored liqueur.  I  wanted Hpnotiq Harmoic, which is an uncommonly known version of the original Hpnotiq.  If you never had Harmoic, it’s congac, vodka, mixed berries, and I think lavender extracts.  The lavender (and possibly mixed berries) provides Harmoic it’s purple color, which would had been perfect for the Sailor Saturn cocktail. Sadly, they also did not carry that version.  Fuck.  Looks like Saturn won’t be destroying anyone soo- hey what’s that beautiful purple glowing bottle with the white swirls  liquor over there in the vodka aisle?

“Viniq? Oh wow, you’re so pretty.”

Yeah no, I’m using this for the cocktail.  If you do not know what Viniq is like, here are some details from the official website (please sponsor me Viniq I’ll be your spokesman for the alcoholic weeaboos niche):
‘Sweet refreshing, and glamorous, VINIQ’s purple shimmer cathes your eye before you hit your glass.  Bursting with peach, berry, and citrus flavors, it’s the perfect complement to any occasion’

(Source:  http://www.viniq.com/)

viniq

(Viniq has mosacto wine infused with it,  but the website forgot to mention that. Thought I throw that lil tidbit in there)

Cool.  I’ll take it. Throw it in the basket with the rest of my booze and onwards to the second and final side mission: Dirty Princess Peach, a drink  I created at ACEN 2015.

Dirty Princess Peach, (as the name suggest), is named after Nintendo legendary princess, Peach. Ya know, the woman who has a thing for giant Koopa cocks, had both kidnapping and imprisonment fetishes, and enjoys wearing, and showing off her lacy thongs while playing Tennis.  There’s a reason why I’m calling her dirty.

I’m just going to post a link to the cocktail repiece below because I’m wasting time and I wanna get to the next scene asap.

[Dirty Princess Peach cocktail]

Alright, got everything I need for the weekend.  To the checkout line! Let me tell ya something; If you have a cart full of booze at the liquor store, you’re gonna get some looks and question.  No lie: I love this part.

“Are you guys planning  for a wedding party?”  One guy asked in the check out line.

“Nah.  Planning a party at a comic book convention.” I replied.

”Wait what?  Comic book convention?  Ya drink and party at those things?” The dude was bewildered.  I blew his mind, man!  I love it when people are surprise that us nerds party and drink heavy. I can’t lie; When I first got into the cosplay and convention scene, I was shocked that nerds drink, smoke, and party.  The revelation changed my entire point on view on the nerd community.

I legit enjoy explaining to non-nerds how there are after parties, and many crazy shit that goes down during the conventions.  Things that people would not associate nerds with.   It legit get people interested in what we do.

Hey, if I can change one person’s bias about our community, then I guess I’ve done some good.

booze
Collection of the alcohol and mixers for the party

After paying for our stuff, Punisher and I headed back to the Hyatt.  He had to go do something, so I was left alone with a heavy box of mixers and booze.  Fun.  I get to carry around a box of booze throughout the convention hotel with thousands of eyes on me like I’m 2pac.  All eyes on me.  Me and my box-‘o-debauchery!

Yes, I want all your attention!  Watch me be Mr. Stongman carrying this heavy box with no effo- okay  ouch there goes my back.  And my legs are cramping up.  Fuck I’m old.  Oh great!  Service carts!  This will be easy!  Just place this heavy ass box down and…

“Sir.  We are a full service hotel.  We have to carry your things for you.” An older black gentleman looks over at me as I attempted to lay my booze box on the cart.

‘Fuck.’ I thought to myself.  I don’t have cash to tip him, but this is super heavy. Oh well.

“I can help you carry your alcohol up to your room if need be.”

“Sure.” Sigh.  He’s gonna expect a tip, ain’t he? Don’t get me wrong, I tip service workers.  Just that I don’t have cash, and I’d feel like a piece of shit if I didn’t tip him.  I let him carry the cart through the hotel to a secret exclusive elevator for ballin’ niggas like myself (stay jealous).  We hit the elevator from the bottom floor to the main lobby.

“So, how much this all run ya?”
‘Make up a complete lie Ben.’

“About $230.”

‘Benjamin, you’re fucking stupid.  He’s gonna press you for a tip you know how this game works.’

“I see you got Martell .  That must have run ya .” Yep.  Here’s the begging ass nigga asking for a tip in a few. Sigh.  Broke niggas I swear.

“Yep.”  I just replied back.  Here we go.

We reached the main lobby.  He took me over to another attendant.  Before he took me over to him, he finally pop the question.  I’m the luckiest man in the world!
“So, you gonna tip me?” He begged.

‘Nigga.  What kinda bullshit is this?  If I was a white boy you wouldn’t be on this crabs-in-a-bucket shit.’

“Yea…where’s the ATM?”  He just points behind me towards the ATM.  I follow his finger  to the ATM, and withdrew a $20.  10 for him and his coworker, an older white gentleman.

“Ya got change?”  I asked.  The white attendant had change alright.  And by change I mean some bands.  Like 1s, 20s, a few 50s.  I take it he gets all the tips.  I doubt he’s on some begging shit. He gives me two 10s, allowing me to tip them both the 10.   The second attendant helps me to my room with the booze.

“Which room are you in?” He asked

“2432”. I replied back.

“Ahh, you must have a party room huh?  No wonder you have so much alcohol.

“Heh heh yeah!   I’m just having a smallish party with some friends, nothing major.” I replied with a sly smile. Boy, I’m helping my friends host a rager old man!

Back on the trek to my room!  We head to  another secret side elevator, pasting the mess of the overflowing elevators. An older white IRT lady caught a quick glance of my box-o’-debauchery, and gave me the most “I fucking parties like you” look I’ve ever received from a con staff.  I dunno if it just she was jealous she had to work all weekend, or she thinks I’m gonna get caught slippin’ with my party, but holy that bitter white woman death glare man!

Bitch you’re getting mad!  I’m having fun!

Finally, after that bullshit, we arrive at my room!  I thank the guy and we went our separate ways.   I pull out the Viniq first.  I want to taste this alluring, enticing, sparkling violet liquid.  I take a small shot.  My lord, the taste of Viniq is astonishing. Delicate and sweet like Hotaru Tomoe. And yet, destructive and dangerous like Sailor Saturn.

…My weeaboo ass just fucking compared alcohol to a fucking Japanese anime character. Whew lord I need Jesus.  Or another shot of this Viniq, this is good as fuck. Wait hold up, it’s almost 6:00PM. As much as I wanna get a little tipsy,  I gotta meet up with some very old friends from my first Anime Central.  My day ones from my first cosplay group: The Umineko and Higurashi cosplay group.

 

I’m gonna save that for the next post.  Eleven pages and nearly 4700 plus words is more than enough for night.  Day 1 will be split into two parts (with this being part one of course).  Stay tune in the future in which I take a short delicious food detour before meeting up with the Higurashi and Umineko cosplay group!  Following that, I will introduce ya to one of my favorite Chicago citizen and I’ll treat ya to my wild partying lifestyle! Oh and the part on how hard I really had to chill out before killing somebody who I thought was my friend.

 

All that, plus not that much more, next time! I’ll post a link the Part 2 once I am finish with it! Be good ya’ll!