Why Friends and Love Ones Won’t Support You
On February 07th, 2018, video surfaced of high school football prospect Jacob Copeland signing with the University of Florida – expanding the young man’s football career. As he proudly made his choice with friends and family members supporting him, Copland’s mother (sporting an University of Alabama shirt and University of Tennessee hat) stormed off from the stage. It’s clear that she disapproves her son’s choice. What should had been one of Copeland’s greatest day of his life quickly turned both awkward and sad as he held back tears in the national spotlight.
His mother deserted him for his passion.
This is an all too common case of parents disapproving and shamming their child’s choices and passion. Parents (especially in the black community) want their children to follow their predetermined path. Should their child decide to walk their own life’s path, the parent will take offense. If you’d ever experienced this with your own parents, then you can relate to Jacob’s situation. It’s bad enough for haters and naysayers to doubt your dreams, but they hate and naysaying comes from a parent, the emotional pain is unbearable.
You want your parents to accept and approve of your goals and dreams.
For us in the arts (performing, visual, etc.) and entrepreneurship, we’re often are bombarded by certain family member’s disapproval for taking a path with no security and little-to-no money. We’re told that our dreams are stupid, too grandiose, senseless, and what not. They cannot see the vision we hold for ourselves. They rather want you to become a doctor, a lawyer, or teacher. You know, average jobs with securities that average Americans love to brag about having. It’s worse if you are from family line with doctors and lawyers. The moment you decide to do you and not them, it’s all bad from there.
You’re a shameful outcast in their eyes.
Fear is also a possibility. They fear that your growth will eclipse them. If you were to achieve great success, it’d make them feel insecure about their failures. They hate themselves for failing and giving up, so they want to bash your dreams. Their (hidden) jealously, hatred, and envy flare up when a successful family member make their moves. They can’t stand the fact that love one was able to become a success while they’re a complete and utter loser.
They loathe that person because they’re a reminder of what they could had become.
Love ones may not get your vision. They can’t understand how you have these wild fantasies you want to turn into reality. Your love ones want you see want you strive for overnight, not understanding that success takes years (as they say, an overnight success is ten years) Because they know you for years, they know your process – not your progress. As a result, when you bring up your dreams, they laugh because they can’t seem to understand why you of all people want to keep on doing you.
But you have to keep doing you no matter what.
To conclude, your love ones will not support you on your dreams because they do not see security in your path. Some wish they had your confidence and drive to push themselves through for a future yet seen. It’s crazy to think that love ones won’t support you and your drive, but it happens. It’s hard, trust me, but you have to keep pushing. You need to push out the htoughts of the naysayers of your family aside.
Never listen to them. Never let their fears and hatred impact you.