Monika’s desires in Doki Doki Literature Club are clearly rooted in jealousy. She is merely a (self-aware) spectator who watches her (scripted) friends fall in love and live a normal school life. Meanwhile, she cannot do anything, as she knows her role as a program. Despite such a situation, she falls in love with the main character (more so the player) but knows she could never get with them. Therefore, she plots against her friends – murdering them one by one – in order to trap the hero and force them to love her.
As I play DDLC and see Monika’s growth as a jealous villain, I’m reminded of another character that was driven by jealousy and love: Kain of Final Fantasy 4. Like Monika, Kain grew jealous of his friend (Cecil) over the fact that Cecil was in a relationship with the heroine, Rosa. Kain was in (unrequited) love with her. Kain grew hatred towards Cecil; plotting to kill him to get with Rosa. Kain failed, however (as his emotions were manipulative by the game’s villain).
“Monika is like Kain. Fuck I wish I knew how to draw.” I told myself as I reached Monika’s villain reveal in DDLC. As she explains her reasoning behind her action, I started to imagine if I had visual artistic talents how I would draw Monika as Kain. Have her in Kain’s Draagoon armor and her holding a lance (with the tip coated in green to symbolize her jealous nature).
Monika Highwind. I think that could work.
For years, I had this wish that I could draw. I used to be envious of my friends who could draw. Our friends would surround the artist of the group as they reveal their last work. I played the violin, but you couldn’t just whip out a violin in the middle of class and play it. So I wasn’t able to showcase my talents. I tried my hand at drawing and even asking my artistic “friend” for help. He just laughed and told me I’d never become a great artist. Sadly,I took that to heart and quit drawing ever since (gotta love toxic friends).
As the years gone by, I regretted not sticking with improving my visual art skills. Yea, I would have suck back in 2004, but in 2018? Perhaps I could done something fantastic with my skills. Right now, I’m kicking myself for listening to said “friend”. For those who don’t know, I’m working on re-hacking a Fire Emblem 4 romhack that uses Touhou characters.
As I’m testing the hack, I’m having visions of the action in-game. I want to draw these visions. Visions of Reimu and Sigurd having a friendly chat. Marisa crying as Alice is struck down dead. Kaguya and Mokou attempting to kill each other with their respective Holy Weapons. Plus, it’ll make for great promotion for the romhack.
If there is something you’ve been wishing you could be doing, don’t delay. Get on that shit today. Don’t let others discourage you from taking action. If you ask your talented friend for advice and they just belittle you, end that friendship right then and there. They mean you no good and they do not wish for your success at all.
Just things I wish I would have known when I was younger.