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Uncategorized 2

25 Days of Blogging Day 3: Being (And Becoming) the Best Version of Yourself

25 Days of Blogging: It’s like ABC’s 25 Days of Christmas, but without the white people level of cheesiness, bad acting, and family friendliness.

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Day 2

Yesterday, I spoke on why being yourself isn’t a good idea for most, if not, all situations.  In short, being yourself can get your screwed over, make you lose your job, and lose respect.  At the end of the post, I stated that you want to be the best version of yourself instead.  Well today we’re going to continue on what that means.

Being the best version of you simply means that you’re tackling problems, situations,  and issues through smart and hard work, experiences, and learning from not only your losses, but wins as well. You won’t know how to grow as a person until you go through it and learn from each and every trial life throws at you: positive or negative.

These experiences can come from dealing with losing love ones (giving you a stoic mindset of accepting death as a part of life), cutting shitty “friends” out of your life (so people of high value can come into your life to better it),  sacrificing short-term pleasure for long-term goals/satisfaction, embracing failure (which we will go in-depth  later on), and traveling the world to experience the cultures and customs of others  (gifting you a worldly view of the world) to name a few ways to pave your path to the best version of you.

Becoming the best version of you also means knowing what masks to wear.  You don’t want to keep your mask off when at work; rather, you want to put on your worker’s mask. This means that before you even come to work, you mentality and physical prep for work at home (eating a protein heavy breakfast for energy, making sure your freshly washed and clean clothes are ironed and pressed , and leaving personal issues at home when you leave the house). Next, when you enter your job, you go over what you need to do to generate the best results through your performance and enter your zone until it time to clock out.

 

When it comes with dealing with the world through the general public, you must be aware that you still need to be the best version of you. You leverage this by taking care of and being self-aware of your appearance.

Who do you think is going to be respected: some 20-year-old kid who’s growing a poor excuse of a beard with his pathetic, patchy stubble who’s wearing dirty, dusty shoes with the tongue leaning, mismatched socks, baggy cargo pants, and a graphic tee featuring an big breasted anime woman who’s about to burst out of her bar while doing an ahegao face; or a 30-year-old man sporting a clean, shined dress shoes, socks that matches his tailor fit pair of chinos, a wrist watch, fitted oxford dress shirt, a tailored blazer, and has a his beard trimmed or cleanly shaven off?

(Please weeaboos: Don’t put emotions into this)

The man is clearly showing the world the best version of him is going to be respected over the stupid kid wearing that weeaboo shit.  Are both people in the example above being themselves?  You can argue that yes, they are.  But, we can all agree that the man is being the best version of himself – not being himself (he could also be an anime fan like the kid, but he isn’t going to wear a graphic t-shirt of  anime women doing something sexual out in public).

Being the best version of yourself requires you to get over your fears: may they be failure, rejection, pain, and setbacks, whatever.  For those unaware, the featured image is of this post is that of Ai Mizuno from the hit Fall 2018 idol anime Zombie Lang Saga.  Without giving too much away, Ai is trying to convince friend and fellow zombie idol group member Sakura to get over her fears of bad luck and failure that plagued her life before death.

Ai tells Sakura that she doesn’t view failure and mistakes as bad things; as they’ll help her with whatever comes next on her path. Only then, by overcoming those things, she’ll become the best version of herself (a callback to an interview Ai did during a TV special with her old idol group which inspired Sakura to pull herself out of her depression and becoming an idol before her death and zombification).

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Wallpaper of my work laptop for 2020

People who don’t overcome their fears block their own progress of becoming their best version.  It’s natural to have fear, but it’s unnatural to allow fear to control you.  You will fail.  You will face rejection.  You will be hurt. You will be met with setbacks.  But, you have to embrace those things in order to become the best.  Being the best version of yourself doesn’t mean doing what makes you happy (although it does help a lot), but doing the things that make yourself uncomfortable.  But you gotta get yourself out of your comfort zone.

Only then, will you be able to become the best version of yourself.

-Until next time,
Yuki The SnowMan

IMAGES SOURCES:

Weeaboo dude image source:

Man in blazer and chinos:

How to Style a Navy Blazer + Our Picks

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The Swarthy Nerd Podcast
A Black nerd empowerment podcast where Black nerds (well, all nerds, but Black first and foremost) can get together and talk freely about nerd culture while also acknowledging systematic white supremacy and racism in the nerd and Eastern otaku fandoms. Every Tuesday join @superlostfan108 and @weebtrashyuki the founders of http://www.swarthynerd.com for there very informative podcast talking about all things nerdy. No desperate boot licking self hating negus who were never accepted by Black norimes for being too weird for  their love of anime and comic books by the Black community allowed. Go drink bleach.

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Uncategorized 2

25 Days of Blogging Day 2: Never Be Yourself

25 Days of Blogging: It’s like the 25 Days of Christmas, but without the cheesiness, horrible family members coming to visit you, and dealing with soul crushing holiday depression. 

Day 1: The Type of Isekai  I Want To See

they_wont_understand_you_in_japan

Throughout life, people will offer you this horrible piece of advice: “Be yourself”.  Why is that?  Because, apparently, being yourself somehow gets you everything you want in this world.  People will treat you with respect if you’re just being yourself.  You can make a lot of friends being you.  If you just be yourself ,somehow everything else will fall into place for you.

I’m going to tell you something that is the opposite of what your parents, peers, and teachers taught you: Never be yourself.  Being yourself can set you up for failure.

Example: Let’s say, naturally, you’re a nice person. You’re kind and sweet to everyone, never wanting to rock the boat or step on the toes of others.  You go through life with your head down; never making a scene and avoiding conflict.  That can be amazing until people see that you’re a pushover whom can be taken advantage of.  Somebody ask you to do something that you know you don’t want to. Yet, because you’re too much of a cowardly bitch to say no, you agree to it. Now, you’re filled with regret.

Can’t be nice all the damn time – it doesn’t get you far in life.

Not a nice person but you have a backbone?  That’s awesome.  I respect people who make sure others don’t come after for them and won’t take advantage of them.  I have high levels of appreciation for those who stand strong and plant their feet on the ground against others.   You may even have an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, and that’s perfect…for some situation.  Having a no fucks given attitude can either hurt or help you.  Having a no fucks given attitude towards not landing a job after an interview can help you not give up on future job interviews because you don’t fear rejection.

Showing up to work smelling like weed and alcohol because you don’t give a fuck about your job anymore will hurt you: because now you’re unemployed, the lights of your house got shut off, and the dude who fronted you that eighth of loud has been blowing up your phone for the past week asking for the money (that you don’t have any more because you don’t have a job)

Being you isn’t always the best course of action.  Just because you love wearing your Pikachu shirt in public to express how much you haven’t grown up you love anime and video games doesn’t mean you should wear that shit to a professional setting  such as a business conference or meeting (remember: people will judge you based off appearance).  On the opposite side, being all about business and work will turn others off.  It’s okay to have a hobby such as Pokemon if you’re a businessman.

You may be wondering what you should do instead of being yourself?
What you should do instead is be the best version of yourself, which I will cover tomorrow.

Until next time,
-Yuki The Snowman

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The Swarthy Nerd Podcast
A Black nerd empowerment podcast where Black nerds (well, all nerds, but Black first and foremost) can get together and talk freely about nerd culture while also acknowledging systematic white supremacy and racism in the nerd and Eastern otaku fandoms. Every Tuesday join @superlostfan108 and @weebtrashyuki the founders of http://www.swarthynerd.com for there very informative podcast talking about all things nerdy. No desperate boot licking self hating negus who were never accepted by Black norimes for being too weird for  their love of anime and comic books by the Black community allowed. Go drink bleach.

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Uncategorized 1

The Guts to Be What You Wanna Be

 

Drunk. Quiet. Angry.

There’s a lonely man slumped in his in chair in a high-end restaurant filled with so-called “good” rich people.  They’re piercing stares of shame, judgment, and disgust do not faze him at the least. They can be heard whispering and chattering about his pathetic state. There’s a few seconds of silence followed by the man demanding the people “what you looking at?”.

Silence.
Then, the man speaks.

“You’re all a buncha fuckin’ assholes. You know why? You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be!”

He slowly rises from his slumped state and resumes his triad.

“You need people like me! You need people like me, so you can point your fucking fingers, and say ‘that’s the bad guy’!”

He’s stumbling: effects of the alcohol and drugs he consumed earlier kicking it. Despite his impairment, he glares at the rich people, whom are clearly at unease at his actions. He asks everyone if – unlike him – they’re good because he’s bad.

No response.
He answers for them.

“You’re not good. You just know how to hide.  How to lie.”

Following that, he declares that he doesn’t have a those problems.  He proudly states that despite being a lair, he is always telling the truth.  As his bodyguards guides him towards the exit, he asks everyone to say goodnight to the bad guy; as this is the last bad guy of his caliber that they ever will see in their lifetime.

The scene described above is of course the iconic Scarface restaurant monologue.  Our lead and titular character, Tony “Scarface” Monata, has infamously built an ill rep for himself throughout the Miami underworld, news media, and public as a multi-millionaire criminal overlord.  He is all aware of his sins – and he’s not ashamed of it.  He knows who he is.  He knows he is a sinner. He knows he’s a bad guy. Rather running away from it, he embraces it.

He has the guts to be what he wants to be.

*****

Tony Monata is a fictional character.  His tale is of fiction. However, we cannot deny the fact that what he spoke in that restaurant is reality.  It is the truth. When you have guts, you’ll be met with opposition. Either they’ve given up on being who they want to be, or they hide it from the general public; shamming those who’re doing “ill” deeds (while hiding their worse deeds from the world)

They cannot stand the sight of those who are confident with whom they are.  They are envious of them: as they’re a reflection of what they can never be in life.  The people of Miami hated Scarface.  Not because he was a drug dealer, but because of his courageous, outlaw spirit.  It is because he brought to light what they do in the dark.

We see this in the real world often. A black man speaks out against the vile actions against his community at the hands of white supremacist. The powers that be silence him for it.  They know he’s telling the truth.  They know that they are full of shit.  History is filled with proof of their inhumane deeds that they deny.  They fear that he’ll wake his  community up. If they wake up, they will create a resistance group against white supremacy and expose their lies. So, they pull up his criminal record and ill deeds from 20 years ago. If he doesn’t have one, they make one up.  They speak of his ill deeds of the past.  Anything to discredit and sully his name in order to keep their hands clean.  It doesn’t bother him one bit.  He has the guts to be true to himself.
It takes guts to stand against an oppression system.

A young actress speaks out against the sexual abuse within the entertainment industry. She has witnessed Hollywood executives and producers coerce teenage girls to perform sexual favors for roles against their will.  She makes the world know what is going behind closed doors in Hollywood with the notorious casting couch.  Her heart forbids her to allow these foul actions to continue. So, she blows the whistle against it: exposing their deeds to the world.  The cowardly predators smear her name.  They blacklist her; making sure she never lands a major role in a movie or TV.  She cannot get any work.  She’s labeled as the bad guy. But she is unfazed by it all. She’s labeled as the bad guy.  She knew that saving young girls from this will come with a heavy price.  But, she doesn’t care.

It takes guts to defend your gender against an oppression group.
You can not let cowards rule this world.

In the realm of anime, anime is filled with many valiant characters who embrace who they are without fear.

The spirited  Gearless Joe of the Spring 2018 hit anime Megalo Box refused to throw match after match, despite the pleads of his chicken-shit trainer and manager, Nanbu.  He cares not for the politics of Shirato group’s Megalonia boxing tournament, the tournament’s prize money, the fame that goes with it, and throwing matches for the illegal gambling ring surrounding the tournament.   He wants the fight of the lifetime with the champion, Yuri.

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Haruhi Suzumiya, titular character of the iconic light novel and anime series The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya embraced this ideology at a young age.  She vowed to let the world know that she exist through her life mission of making every day an adventure for herself by discovering interesting and mysterious people and things.  Rather than to fade into the background of the world stage, she was driven to become the main actress on it; regardless if she lived in Japan – a nation known for hammering down nails that stick out.

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In this world, you cannot be bothered by what others think of you.  You’re given a limited amount of time to live your life.  If there’s something you want to do, then do it. Yes: People will judge you.  Yes: people will shun you.  Yes: People will no longer be friends with you or want to be in your circle. They will call you “weird”, “an asshole”, “strange’, whatever words they can think of to make them feel better about their lack of courage and make you feel bad about your everlasting levels of it.

But, you have to embrace that.  Having the guts to be who you want to be comes with that. Don’t get me wrong: I am not telling you do anything illegal or immoral.  If you are, you deserve to be shun. You deserve to lose your friends.  Other than that, embrace who you are.  Don’t live in fear over what others think.  You don’t have time to do that.

Wasting your time being in fear of what others may think of you is for cowards.
Do not be a coward.

 

Fakeness fears realness.
Cowards shun the courageous.

Japan 2

Hikikomori: The Digital Age Hermit

Editor’s Note:  This is a text version of episode 32 of my friend and I podcast “The Swarthy Nerd Podcast” . It has been edited for this blog.  You can listen to the episode in full by clicking on this link. Please enjoy! 

 

Japan: A nation rich in cultural tradition, technological advancement, animation innovation, and an unreal politeness. It’s a peaceful county that holds the status quo on the highest pedestal.   From childhood to adulthood, the Japanese are expected to follow the status quo, daring not to stand out from the crowd; as they will be hammered down like a nail sticking out from the board.

You’re expected by society and by your family to work hard. At school, work, and for the general public, Japanese citizens must put on their best face (or tatemae 建前, たてまえ lit. “façade”); regardless of what they might be going through in their personal life thanks to the nation’s intense conformist nature.

But, what happen when this intense conformist nature Japan is known for becomes too much for one person to bear?  Let’s say a salary-man gets chastise by his boss for a one minor mistake that can be easily fix.  In America, we might get in our feelings over the matter for a split second then seek to correct the issue.  In Japan however, the salary-man will cave in, withdraw into his shell, and finish the work for the day – never returning to work the following day.

Instead, he’ll lock himself away in his disgusting, trashy room of his parent’s house in a state of deep depression for months or even years. He doesn’t interact with the outside world beyond the virtual, online world – a world in which he feels is much safer than brutal reality.  He wastes his time and life away watching anime and playing video games; never contributing to society.  His parents provide his need out of “support” until they grow old and die.  They don’t know what else to do with him or get him out of this state.

This man is a member of Japan’s missing one million: hikikomori (ひきこもり or 引きこもりlit. Pulling inward, being confined).  A social phenomenon with origins dating from the mid-1980s and appearing in the Japanese mainstream in the late 1990s, the hikikomori is the modern-day reclusive hermit who has withdrawn from all social interactions.

According to the 2016 Japanese census report, 540,000 people aged 15-39 are considered hikikomori. However, some experts has estimated that the number is 1.55 million (since hikikomori do not interact with society and prefer to be hidden) and growing.  This condition can go on for years – even decades – and this is a problem that Japan must address before it worsen.

There are hikikomori that in their 40s (the first generation) who have not left their aging parents’ house in decades, leading to Japan’s “2030 Problem”; an issue in which the hikikomori baby boomer parents are entering their 60s, 70s, and 80s; therefore, they  cannot provide for their hikikomori children (due to retirement, illness, and death).  With the parents dying, this causes concern as many are wondering who’ll take care of these hermits and what to do to help them come out of their shells.

In this episode of the Swarthy Nerd Podcast, we will explore one of Japan’s infamous dark side: the hikikomori. What is a Hikikomori?  Why so many men in Japan are withdrawing from society and causing a strain on the Japanese economy and their family? And could America experience their unique version of the Hikikomori.

JOIN US!

 

PART I
BREAKING DOWN THE HIKIKOMORI

 

Before acknowledging why Japanese youth are becoming Hikikomori, we must analyze what causes and does not cause Hikikomori. 80% of Hikikomori are male; with the reminding 20% are females. The average age of Hikikomori is around mid-20s. However, there are reports of   Hikikomori in their teens and 50s. A Hikikomori must’ve not partaken in society for a period exceeding six months.

They are not employed, seeking employment, or in educational training (NEET). Forms of entertainment fill their time, for example: video games, internet, and television.   While it’s possible for some Hikikomori to suffer from pathological problem disorder such as autism, borderline personality disorder (BPD), schizophrenia, et cetera, Hikikomori itself isn’t considered nor treated as a pathological disorder.

The following items are what don’t make one Hikikomori. Simply going from home to work and only having interactions with people from those places doesn’t make the criteria for Hikikomori; as you’re employed and interacting with society.  Non-conformity isn’t hikikomori.  While Hikikomori itself is an extreme example of non-conformity, the act itself isn’t inherently Hikikomori. Japanese Herbivore Men who don’t desire a relationship with the opposite sex aren’t Hikikomori; as most are social.  Understanding what makes and does not make a Hikikomori based on the factors listed above; we can begin to look into the reasoning behind the why.

 

PART II

WHY JAPANESE YOUTHS ARE BECOMING HIKIKOMORI

Referring back to the introduction of this essay/episode, Japan is a conformist nation where individuality is frown upon. Their youth are expected to aim high towards academic, social, and career success.  Matt Davis’s article for BigThink.com on Hikikomori and the rigidness of Japan goes further on such expectations:

“Like most behavioral issues, it’s difficult to pin down exactly what mechanism lies behind it. However, there are some common features.

Japan is a very rigid, structured society, and the pressure starts early. Students are expected to study constantly, the school year lasts six weeks longer than in the U.S., and, when the Ministry of Education reduced the school week from six days a week, many parents began enrolling their children in juku, or “cram schools,” to fill in the extra hours with as much education as possible. Because of the emphasis on exams in Japan, about half of all junior high students in Japan attend juku.

Combined with the fact that the period from 1990 to 2010 saw very little economic growth in Japan, many students questioned the purpose of their high-intensity education when there was little guarantee of work at the end of it.

Social life in Japan, too, is highly structured and etiquette practices can quickly become complex depending on the situation and the others involved. For example, Japanese has many grammatical structures that vary depending on the exact nature of the person being addressed, whether they’re a superior, an employee, a customer, an older woman or man, a younger woman or man, and many others. Giving gifts is common, but certain items are considered impolite. Giving a kitchen knife to a newlywed couple is a no-no, since this implies separation.

What’s more significant than the specific rituals and rules in Japanese culture, the general, pervasive sense of propriety and correct behavior can be stifling. It is impossible to go through life without embarrassing yourself socially at least once, but in a culture where correct behavior is highly valued, slipping up in this regard can be traumatizing.

Often, a triggering academic or social failure prompts young men and women to withdraw from society and become hikikomori. It’s also been speculated that this social phenomenon is due, in part, to a culture of shame surrounding mental health issues. Depression wasn’t even recognized as a real condition until the late 1990s in Japan, and it is sometimes still seen as an excuse to take time off of work. Rather than be labelled as depressed or anxious, the term hikikomori paints people with a broader brush.”

And from William Kremer and Claudia Hammond’s BBC News article Hikikomori: Why Are So Many Japanese Men Refusing to Leave Their Homes:

The trigger for a boy retreating to his bedroom might be comparatively slight – poor grades or a broken heart, for example – but the withdrawal itself can become a source of trauma. And powerful social forces can conspire to keep him there.

One such force is sekentei, a person’s reputation in the community and the pressure he or she feels to impress others. The longer hikikomori remain apart from society, the more aware they become of their social failure. They lose whatever self-esteem and confidence they had and the prospect of leaving home becomes ever more terrifying.”

Let’s refer back to the word tatemae.  As tatemae literally means “façade” or “pretense”, you will display a sort of masquerade of “happiness” and “carefreeness” for society: never revealing your true face, or honne (本音 ,ほんね). What is honne? Honne literally translate to “true voice” or the dark thoughts you keep hidden from the world. Thoughts such as “My boss’s idea is so fucking stupid; he needs to be fired!”,  “I want to kill my bullies”, and “I’m tired of you crying about your problems all the time”.

The clash between tatemae and honne births inner conflict. You want to speak out about what’s bothering you or how you truly feel about a situation, but you live in Japan: a country of conformity – with tatemae a major component of Japanese social conformity.

Balancing between honne and tatemae for the Japanese can be stressful to the point that it can drive many to isolation.  Why face the world with a façade, never being allowed to express your true thoughts when you can alienate yourself from said world?    However, isolation is a dangerous trap.  Having others support you won’t work well in the long run.

PART III

The Strain Hikikomori Cause

Hikikomori refusing employment and educational training to support themselves causes an ill effect on the Japanese economy and their caregivers.  The Japanese workforce is dwindling as the numbers of Hikikomori increases.  Aged  Hikikomori whom decided to return to society find  reintegration difficult; as they lack the (job) skills to generate income —  especially as they’re entering the worst job market in modern history (the lingering effect of the 2008 market crash).

When discussing the caregivers of Hikikomori, we must bring up two set of numbers: 2030 and 8050. 2030 represent the year in which the first generation of Hikikomori will turn 50 while their caregiver parents will turn 80 (with some Hikikomori turning 65 even).  By this time, the caregiver parent(s) of their Hikikomori child have long since retired and eventually died; leaving the Hikikomori without their primary support system.

Diving into the morbid, there are reported cases in which parents of the Hikikomori have passed away in their house. Due to Hikikomori’s lack and fear of social interactions, few Hikikomori have spent days or even weeks with the decaying body or bodies of their decreased parent(s) for days or weeks before contacting law enforcement.

Example 1: Late November-Early December 2013: 34-year-old shut-in  man from Osaka, Japan was arrested for corpse abandonment after reporting his father passing in their house – two weeks after his death.  Did not contact the police due to Hikikomori state  Source: https://soranews24.com/2013/12/16/man-finds-dead-father-lives-with-the-body/

Example 2: November 9th, 2018: 49-year-old shut-in from The Kanagawa Prefectural arrested for failing to report the death of his 76-year-old mother after sister of the Hikikomori male discover their mother’s body in her bedroom. The mother died in mid-October. Source: https://nextshark.com/japanese-hikikomori-mom/

Now, imagine hearing multiple reports of rotting bodies of the Hikikomori parents discovered in their houses because of the Hikikomori’s extreme social anxiety in 2030. I fear that it’ll be the norm come 11 years from now.

PART IV

The American Hikikomori

 

For decades, it was believed that the Hikikomori phenomenon was a Japanese exclusive problem; a cultural issue of sorts.  While not as extreme in Japan, there have been case studies of the Hikikomori in the United States.  In her February 2019 article for the New York Magazine titled When ‘Going Outside Is Prison’: The World of the American Hikikomori, Allie Conti spoke with 21-year-old reddit user “Luca” through private messaging about his case of Hikikomori dating back from the age of 12.  During class, he’d become so anxious that he’d forgot to swallow.  The anxiety led his mother to remove him from school and take online classes – which he would soon drop out of those courses as well.

After watching the anime series Welcome to the N.H.K (an anime about a Hikikomori man “discovering” Japanese broadcasting company N.H.K, or Nippon Hoso Kyokai, translation: Japan Broadcasting Corporation conspiracy to transform Japanese youths into shut-ins), Luca decided to quit school and forego work as a personal rebellion against the world (meaning he’s a lazy ass white boy who needs to grow a pair of balls).

University of California researcher Alan R. Teo theorized that Hikikomori-like conditions are coming into the light in America. In 2010, the mother of a 30-year-old anime fan contacted Teo after her son, “Mr. H”, read one of Teo’s translation; leading him to diagnosed himself with Hikikomori.  From the New York Magazine article:

“Teo encouraged Mr. H. to come by his office at the University of California in San Francisco for treatment, despite the fact that would mean stepping outside for the first time in three years. Mr. H. wore a leather jacket that reeked of cigarette smoke, had mangy hair, didn’t shower, and had long fingernails. “During the first and most severe year, he remained within a walk-in closet, ate only-ready-to-eat food, did not bathe, and urinated and defecated in jars and bottles,” Teo would later write in the International Journal of Social Psychiatry.

“He passed the time surfing the internet and playing video games.” Tests run on Mr. H showed seemingly conflicting results. While he exhibited traits consistent with obsessive compulsive and schizoid personality disorders, various scales and inventories concluded he had neither. Mr. H. claimed his reclusiveness was based on something pretty simple: He just didn’t want to be a part of the world, which is both what hikikomori in Japan had long said and basically what Luca told me.”

Throughout America, a large number of young men are isolating themselves in their parent’s basement bedrooms.  They cannot cope with work, school, and lack motivation to launch themselves. Recent economic crisis combined with the labor market has discouraged recent college graduates, especially given when 12.6% of college grads are underemployed (source: https://www.epi.org/publication/class-of-2016/) Princeton researchers suggests that technological usage such as video games and social media has led to a 23-46% decrease of young men working in the labor force (source: https://scholar.princeton.edu/sites/default/files/maguiar/files/leisure-luxuries-labor-june-2017.pdf).

We must not also forget that the 69% of college grad are entering the real world with with an average of $29,800 worth of debt – something that an average min. wage job cannot pay off (source: https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/20/how-much-the-average-student-loan-borrower-owes-when-they-graduate.html).

With seemly unpayable debt, a weaken work force, and an economy that’s expected to crash soon, more and more American youth are partakning in the hikikimori lifestyle to escape reality.  This is not good for the American society.  If this problem continues in America I fear we will see the same problems with Hikikomori in Japan with Americans – especially with most male Hikikomori in the West are radicalized through white supremacist and incel groups.

FINAL PART

Yuki’s And TV Guru’s Thoughts on Hikikomoris

 

Yuki: “First off Japan, stop shamming people for failure: everyone fails. There’s a difference between failure and stupidity.  Shame people for being stupid, but don’t shame them for failure.  Another way to prevent hikikomori is reduce the workload on workers and students alike.  You got people in Japan working 12-18 hours a day and it’s literally killing them (karoshi lit. death from overwork). Finally, stop shamming people with mental health issues; people in Japan are afaird to admit their issues due to the stigma link with mental health. Why would people admit they have mental health issues if they are being shammed for it?”

TV Guru: “Same thing, you can’t be fucking shaming somebody for failing. But, that’s the pressure they put on society.  You can’t pressure somebody into working hard. Yea Japanese people are smart because they spend hours studying but all that long-term studying comes with a price…”

****

“The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.  A fortress seems the safest.  But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people, find allies, mingle.  You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.”

“The weight of society’s pressure to conform, and the lack of distance from other people, can make it impossible to think clearly about what’s going on around you.  As a temporary recourse, then, isolation can help you gain perceptive. The danger is, however, that this kind of isolation will sire all kinds of strange and perverted ideas.  You main gain perspective on the larger picture, but you lose a sense of your own smallness and limitations.  Also, the more isolated you are, the harder it is to break out of your isolation when you chose to – it sinks you deep into its quicksand with your you noticing.”

-Robert Greene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anime community 0

Reflecting on the KyoAni Arson Massacre

In my 20+ years of being an anime fan, the thought of a twisted individual committing mass murder against those within the have anime industry never crossed my mind.  Anime studios are known to receive death threats from disgruntled fans for whatever reason. Studios dismiss threats because those who send them never follow through with them. They are treated as people who talk a big action but never follow through.  Thus, (and sadly) death threats aren’t taken as seriously as they should within the industry at times.

Until recently.

On July 18th, 2019 around early morning at the Kyoto Animation studio, 33 lives – mostly young people who not only just got their start in the anime industry,  but in life in general – were senselessly taken from the world.  Their stories, wisdom, ideas, and creativity for the anime industry will never to be brought to life for the world to see – because of one angry disgusting man whom decided to end their lives. Buildings can be recovered and restored, yes.  Alas, we can not recover nor restored the talented lives that were lost.

It’s reported that the murderer was angry at Kyoto Animation (KyoAni) because they stolen something from him.  It’s rumor that what was stolen from him was a light novel idea that KyoAni allegedly rejected and used said idea for one of their anime production.  Out of anger, he broke into the main studio, pour gasoline on not only around the entrance of the building (to prevent people to escape the building) as well as inside it, but on his victims.

Even if KyoAni did steal this man’s novel idea, it is no reason for him to commit murder — let alone mass murder — through such inhumane means of turning a beloved animation studio into a death trap; burning people to death in the process.  As a creative person, I understand the rage of having people steal your ideas/works and claiming them as their own.  I would be livid if somebody stole my works and gain something from it.  I even admit that I would  go as far as to cause physical harm against a person if they stole my works. But, to commit (mass) murder over something I could prove was mines or creative a better version of it is maddening and illogical.

What was so valuable about that horrible man’s work that he had to take so many lives over it?

Is the love for one’s own art that extreme that people should be murdered over it?

 -Benjamin Snow

Anime Industry 1

Kyoto Animation Arson Attack: 30+ Injured And Multiple Fatalities Reported

Multiple people confirmed dead and 30+ injured at famous Kyoko animation studio from alleged arson attack. According to reports, police captured and arrested a man in his 40s who admitted to police he used a liquid accelerate to start the fire.

FROM ANIME NEWS NETWORK: “According to a report by The Kyoto Shimbun newspaper, nearby residents heard an explosion on the first floor of the building. NHK also quoted a man who supposedly heard an explosion in the building at around 10:30 a.m. JST, after which a fire erupted in the building’s second and third floor.” Kyoto Animation is an animation studio and light novel publisher founded in 1981.

Kyoto Animation is most famous for producing popular series and movies such as “Full Metal Panic!”, “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya”, “Clanned”, “Free!” and “A Silent Voice”.

My Personal Thoughts: Anime — and entertainment in general — isn’t that serious to the point that you have to commit arson and murder. If you’re gonna kill somebody, kill them because they harmed/killed a family member or they’re threatening to kill/harm you. Don’t lose your freedom and endanger others over some damn cartoons.

SOURCES:

https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/news/20190718_31/
https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/daily-briefs/2019-07-17/kyoto-police-multiple-deaths-confirmed-in-kyoto-animation-fire/.149101

 

Anime community 4

There Will Always Be A Need For Fan-Run Conventions

As I was reading through the comments of my post  inquiring information on the Ontario, California based anime convention Anime Los’ Angeles (ALA) and how it compare to Anime Expo (AX), there were a few comments that caught my attention.  These comments focused on the fact that ALA was a fan run convention that will never succumb to corporate greed and draw in the normies (unlike Anime Expo and San Diego Comic Con according to these commentators).

Personally, I’m a fan of corporate and industry  ran conventions (or at the very least, conventions who have some sponsorship from corporations and members of the industry). Anime conventions with corporate/industry backing have the means to bring in the big name heavy hitters of the anime industry. In addition,  they also allow the major players of the anime industry to have world premiere of new and upcoming anime projects  that you  (almost) never get  the chance to see at your local small-to-medium size anime convention.

Content creators such as myself love attending conventions that feature big name guests as it gives us superior coverage and content for our brand.   It’s not to say that fan-run conventions don’t make for great content, but let’s be real: You’ll get more flies drawn towards your honey pot if your honey pot just happen to have somebody like Mamoru Miyano in it because you reported on him talking about his latest roles during  Anime Expo.

(And no, I did not attend any of his panels at Anime Expo because my Black ass KNEW any and all Mamoru Miyano related panels would be jam packed with fans and I am not willing to stand in line for 10 hours for a seiyuu I’m barely a fan of just for internet traffic).

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He’s kind of a  big deal in the weeaboo world

As nerd culture steadily enter the mainstream limelight, there is this looming shadow of fear that has been overcast on the world of nerd culture. This  fear is of both smaller and larger fan ran conventions yielding  to the all-mighty dollar offered to them by major corporations – forswearing their humble grassroots beginnings.

Can’t blame them on this one, really.  We see this happen often with  conventions grew massive in size and income. They get accused of “selling out” (note: knowing your worth and the worth of your brand isn’t “selling out”; that’s broke jealous dusty nigga/hipster talk).   Once they “sell-out”, the content of the convention becomes water down and lose focus on the fan-driven material in favor of industry related items presented on the programming.  Therefore, the loyal fans of the con since day one up and leave the con.

Now, if you’re a critical thinker, you can see where this is going and know the solution to this problem.  If people are dreading that some big conventions are “selling out” for big businesses, then that means that you are going to have people who are still in favor of fan-run conventions that won’t “sell-out”.

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How ugly dudes get women.

Think about it: you have a market of fans who don’t want anything to do with major conventions that have corporate backing and they’re going searching for cons that are operating on the grassroots level.  They would rather spend their money towards conventions that favor fan-related content and programming over what some Japanese industry  jackass who snorts cocaine off a teenage schoolgirl’s ass while  she’s cosplaying Ichigo from DARLING in the FRANXX  in his office at nighttime  thinks what makes good programming at an anime con (okay, probably isn’t that extreme, but you get my point).

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Some scared Japanese girl who just wanted to be a cosplay model and not have some depraved shady Japanese businessman do drugs off her ass while she cosplays as his waifu.

It’s that “for us by us” mentality that most nerds crave when it comes to anime conventions.  Fan run content that shows the true passion and appreciation of fans of this medium in an event that provides the means for such fans to talk about their love for anime – in person with other fellow fans.

Fan-ran events means you have the freedom to express your fandom and love for anime through any means without worrying about an overhead busting your balls telling you what you can and cannot have in your programming (it’s not to say that fan run conventions have overheads busting balls as well, but they’re more lax than say somebody who works for a big anime business).

There’s a certain magic of fan-ran conventions that allow programming such as a room party block with free drinks, a massive cosplay parade downtown,  ribbon collecting, and cosplay stripping shows that most of your major big business ran convention wouldn’t dare allow.   This magic you can’t find at most industry ran conventions. Is it true that these industry cats understand what fans want in terms of content for their cons?  Sure, but it doesn’t mean that they’re gonna provide the means to fulfill said needs.

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Dragon Con Parade. Image source: https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/thousands-to-line-the-streets-for-dragon-con-parade-2018-saturday/825110116

So, will fan-run conventions go away anytime soon?  No. Why?
Because there will always be a need for them – no matter what.

 

Anime community 0

Recording Otaku History (And The Growth of The Western Anime Community)

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a (cleaner) copy and paste free write of my thoughts of the evolution and history of the Western anime fandom taken from my Facebook page Yuki The Snowman. As such, I was shooting from the hip; so it is unstructured and lacks research and sources to a few statements. 

While out-of-state at a friends’ house catching up on old times, we were disusing plans on attending an up and coming anime convention in their area next year named Dokidokon.  During the discussion, they mentioned how cool it would be for us to report on the convention, it’s growth, and recording the events as they unfold at the con.  With glee, they stated that it would be exciting to take record of what we witness there.  Further into the talk, it was mentioned that we’re living in perhaps the best time period for otaku history in the West and how it is important for us bloggers, vloggers, and content creators to record such events in history.

I started to ponder.

While my friends and I enjoy attacking the otaku culture with venomous scorn, taking cheap shots against anime fans whenever the chance presents itself, and mock the culture for its many faults, we still hold onto our great appreciation for how far the anime medium and fandom has come. This is especially true given how Western otaku culture and conventions came up from (to my knowledge, mind you) the underground college anime clubs and conventions of the 70s and 80s to the massive juggernaut in which we are a part of today where the modern anime community is an indescribable melting pot of distinctive demographic coming together to celebrate our love for anime.

For those who might be too young to remember, it wasn’t that long ago when Western anime culture and fans where pushed into the darkest corners of the pop culture world.  We were treated as unwelcomed outcasts by – and please note – most (meaning not all for those who are from the remedial side of the education game) nerds and geeks from different sets of  the pop culture  world (film, comic books, gamers, sci-fi, etcs.).

In the past, Anime (in the West) didn’t have that unbreakable grip that it has on the Western pop culture world today.  Thus, us fans were mocked and alienated by outsides (both normies and, ironically, non-otaku nerds who too where shunned for their love for comics, games, etc.) for enjoying something that most people didn’t get. Maybe it was due to  xenophobia, lack of understanding, or the pure pride of the ignorant who didn’t want to study  why people like and watch anime, but anime fans were treated like some weird nerds who were too much in love with some whacky Japanese cartoons.

Sure, you had timeless hits such as AKIRA, Ninja Scroll, and Ghost in the Shell making noise in America; planting seeds and paving the path for what we are witnessing today when it comes to the Western Otaku culture, but they didn’t have the weight to help put anime in that sweet postion that we call mainstream appeal  (Dragon Ball Z would take that honor and run with it in the mid-90s despite what the anti-entry-level anime elitists may want to argue to deal with the fact their favorite obscure anime didn’t get the job done but that’s another topic for another day).

 

Time went on. The influence of anime in the West grew stronger.  Its popularity increased with shows such as Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, and Pokémon.  Television networks such as Time Warner, The Sci-Fi Network, Tech TV and Freeform created program blocks dedicated to anime (Toonami, Anime Unleashed, and Made in Japan) in order to carter to the blooming Western anime fanbase.  Online bulletin board systems (BBS) and websites revolving around anime culture sprung up on the dial-up internet side of the game.  Magazines dedicated to anime such as Anierica  were  sent out to the mailbox of the American anime fan.  Video stores started carrying anime that never aired on TV in America.

It was inevitable that anime in the West would become a huge deal.

****

Today, you can go on your favorite streaming website (legal and illegal) and pull up almost any anime from the past or present. Popular or obscure.  Modern or classic.  If you can think of an anime, there’s a good chance that you will find it online. No more wasting time and gas money traveling miles to a nearby video store in hopes you can get your anime fix.   No longer do we need to call up a certain  BBS to communicate with fellow fans of a peculiar anime and wait two-to-eight hours for a response.

With the advent of modern day technology and social media, we can instantly chat it up with fellow anime fans moments after an episode finished airing. Best of all, fans can communicate and interact with voice actors, creators, production studios, and distributors through websites such as Facebook and twitter – something that was once only possible at annual major conventions and snail mail.

History is being made.

 

As content creators, we must take advantage of this era of Western anime history. We must take part and note of the trends and the happenings of the fandom  – despite the fact if we love or loathe such trends and happenings. Remember: future generations of anime fans will be curious on how their favorite shows and beloved parts of the culture became to be.  They will research the roots of their favorites and find connects to the past (that is currently our present).  There needs to be a record of what is going on today in the world of anime: both in the East and here in the West.

Keeping record will perverse what is happening currently. It will prevent experiences from being lost to time and history.  Just imagine if nobody recorded the famous viral video of the Filipino female prisoners performing the Hare Hare Yukai dance from The Melacholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or most recent, the ever popular live-action versions  Chikatto Chika Chika dance from episode 3 of Kaguya-Sama: Love is War!! by energetic otakus cosplay as Chika herself.

It would be utterly depressing.

FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

The Swarthy Nerd Podcast: A Black nerd empowerment podcast where Black nerds (well, all nerds, but Black first and foremost) can get together and talk freely about nerd culture while also acknowledging systematic white supremacy and racism in the nerd and Eastern otaku fandoms. Every Tuesday join @superlostfan108 and @weebtrashyuki the founders of http://www.swarthynerd.com for there very informative podcast talking about all things nerdy. No desperate boot licking self hating negus who were never accepted by Black norimes for being too weird for  their love of anime and comic books by the Black community allowed. Go drink bleach.

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anime 0

Be Your Own Person (Mob Pyscho 100 S2)

“Be your true mind.”
-Revelations: Persona Japanese tagline.

Starring into the screen of the gaming P.C. I brought off my friend during the 2018 Holiday season, I noticed that there was something missing: A wallpaper – a good one.  I was using fanart of Yugiri from Zombieland Saga as a placeholder until I could find wallpaper that I wouldn’t mind always seeing. Don’t get me wrong: Zombieland Saga is an awesome anime and  Yugiri is best undead girl, but I needed something better. A wallpaper to serve as a reminder to do whatever the fuck I want to do throughout the year 2019

I hooked up an old external hard drive containing over ten years’ worth of anime and manga fanart, screenshots, manga panels, and memes; most of them were  perfect to use as wallpaper, but I desire one that would be my mantra for 2019.  As I browsed through the drive, there was a certain image with a manga panel snapshot that spoke to my soul.  It was of Kyoko from Puella Magi Madoka Magica with a pocky stick in her mouth offering a box full of them to somebody off-screen.  As she chew on the snack, she says the following:

“Who cares what anyone else thinks? It’s your life – do whatever you want to do. That’s the right way to live.”

kyoko_who_cares.png

There was no hesitation.  Instantly, that became my wallpaper; vowing to never change it until January 1st, 2020.  Throughout my life (until I got into my 20s), I was concern about what others thought about me.  Wanting to not offend my friends, family members,  and bosses (surprising, right?); I followed their suggestions, putting my own thoughts to the side.

I believed that if I put myself first, it would paint me as a hard-headed selfish asshole.
I should had been an asshole.

“To be quiet and do as you’re told, that’s the cowardly choice.”

-Gearless Joe, Megalo Box

Go to church because the rest of the family were going; despite the fact I’m secretly don’t follow religion. Enroll in a community college my parents wanted me to go; regardless if I wanted to go to one outside the Midwest (my home region). Hang out with friends even though I actually wanted to stay and relax at home.  Go into work on my off day when I knew I wanted to tell my boss to fuck off.

Deep within my soul, my “easy-going” public persona was clashing with my true feelings.
I truly didn’t want to do what people told me to do, but I didn’t have the balls to admit it.

This went on until I turned 23.

I dropped out of college. Smartest move of my life.  I stopped going to church. I don’t need Jesus to be a good person. I ignored my boss’s phone calls for me to come into work.  He got the point soon after.   I cut off friends who didn’t respect the fact I didn’t feel like hanging out with them when I was tired. They were fake friends – I didn’t need them around.

It was liberating.

mob.jpg


Soon after I selected the image of Kyoko as my wallpaper, I got a reminder from My Anime List that Mob Pyscho 100 Season 2 was starting soon.  Fitting.  Mob (the hero of the Mob Pyscho 100 series) is a kid who decided to follow his own path in life; as opposed to listen to others people’s suggestions for his life.  For example: when the supernatural club at his school tried to get him to join (because of his psychic powers), he rejected their offer. He joined the athletic club instead to build muscle.

The anime is one of the ultimate showcases of being your true self.
But, Mob may have appeared to have forgotten about this.

Wanting to impress his crush Tsubomi, Ichi (who catches Mob sneaking a peek at Tsubomi) comes up with a plan for Mob to court her attention: Have him run for the recently vacant student council president position (it was a ploy for Ichi to have Mob gain popularity so she could have him as the new leader of the recently dismantled (LOL) cult). She even went as far as writing a speech for Mob, in her own words.  Despite not caring for school politics and social structure, Mob agrees to Ichi’s self-centered plot – reluctantly.

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And by reluctantly, I mean that Mob completely froze during his speech.
On stage.
In front of the entire student body – his crush in the crowd included.

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It’s goofy that a guy like Mob, who was always dead set on doing his own thing, decided to follow the path of another person. Sure, it was to impress his crush, but the plot wasn’t from his own driven nature and ideas.  Despite the public embarrassment, Mob “won” the heart of a female classmate: Emi.  She was “impressed” by his courage to stand on stage in front of the school, which spurred her into confessing her “feelings” to him. The two started dating soon after.

Obviously, their relationship is rooted in compete bullshit.

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Emi

When Emi asks what type of work he does, Mob is about to tell her about his supernatural works and adventures but feared that she’d be creep out.  He comes up with  a bold-face lie; claiming he works for a bookstore. This excites Emi as she’s an active and avid reader and is writing her own novel.  She even offers Mob to read it, which he agrees to.

Later on, as Mob reads Emi’s novel, she confronts him. She asks why he still walks her home from school after  he rejected her. Furthermore, she reveals that she knew Mob was going back to his club after he had walked her back home; thinking that Mob was afraid that he would upset her if he stop.

She also makes the connection that Mob only ran for class president because somebody told him to do it, since it was clear that he didn’t write his own speech. Then she bluntly asks if he has trouble making up his own mind and following his own feelings, which Mob confirms.

Finally, she reveals a secret about herself: She too struggles with being her own person – like Mob himself. She only asked Mob out on a dare and was pressured by her “friends” to do so (based on Mob’s pitiful performance during the elections). She was scared of being rejected and seen as a laughing stock by her “friends”, so she followed through with their cruel prank.

They agree to end their “relationship and part ways soon after – only to meet up again.


The “friends” Emi worked hard to impress and not offend?
They weren’t truly her friends.

Emi regroups with her friends after receiving a text message from them.   She decides to show her “friends” the novel that she was working on.  One girl snatches it from her hands and started to laugh and belittle her work along with the rest.  Another girl, while trying to hold in her laughter, ask Emi if she was being serious about it.  Emi (clearly upset and defensive), gives off a weak chuckle and replies she was only doing it for fun. The girls starts to laugh cruelly as they destroy her novel.

 

Emi became the thing she feared the most: a laughing stock among her friends.
Not because she didn’t “date” Mob, but because she had a passion for writing.
If they were truly her friends, not only would they not pressured her into dating Mob (something she never wanted to do), they would have encouraged her to keep writing.

As Mob walks back home, he sees the girls destroying Emi’s novel. He confronts them, telling them how wrong they were to do that to her and her hard work.  He starts collecting the pieces off the ground. Confused, yet feeling appreciated, Emi helps Mob out and her fake friends leave the duo to be.  The two try their best to recover the novel but the reminding pieces are blown into the wind. Emi gets discourage and decides that they should call the novel a total lost.

At this point, Mob decides to be honest with Emi (as she did with him) and reveal his true self: The fact that he’s a gifted esper. He uses his powers to completely restore the torn novel; which impresses Emi (as well as Tsubomi – who was watching the events from afar). Perhaps it was because that Emi was honest with Mob about her feelings, fears, and insecurities that led Mob into helping her. Maybe Mob was happy that he knew somebody who too was scared to be their true self and wanted to help them.

Regardless, at the end of the episode, both Mob and Emi was able to embrace who they truly are without fear.

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***

I believe there’s a lesson to be learned from the first episode of season two of Mob Pyscho 100 2.

The lesson?  Put yourself first, be honest with who you are, and never fear about what others may think about you. Once you can do all that, you have truly become free.  People may call you selfish or self-centered for being you, but in reality, humans are selfish by nature. Some humans are braver with their selfish nature than others.  If somebody complains about your egocentric nature , don’t take it personal. They more than likely are projecting their anger of not having the courage to be selfish.

Right now, there are people who are completely unhappy with their lives. Why? Because they were controlled into following somebody else’s path. They never had the courage to stray off the path that wasn’t design for them. There are doctors, lawyers, and dentists in those positions who are completely miserable because they decided to listen to their parents’ wishes. They feared to bring “shame” to their family and enter a career field they hate.  If only they would have follow their heart instead, perhaps they wouldn’t be miserable.

Remember this: You have the freedom to be your own person.
It’s your life. Who cares if anyone gets upset?

“Your life is your own, ok? It’s OK to run away!
If you’re capable of it, it won’t be a mistake.”
-The Mob Choir

Life 0

Never Apologize For Being You.

‘I can never throw away who I am!’
-Vegeta, Dragon Ball Super

You should never apologize for being yourself. Even if people don’t get who you are as a person, you still need to be and do you.  Somebody demands that you apologize for your quirky passions? Fuck them! Somebody thinks you’re too egotistical? Don’t feel bad. That person suffers from low self-esteem and loves to hate on anyone who has pride in themselves.

Never say sorry to them because you never allowed society to control who you should be.

People who get on the cases of other people (because they accepted who they are) are cowardly, beta losers who’ve allowed society to hammer them down and stripped them of their pride and confidence. When these lowly, insecure nobodies see people being comfortable with themselves and living a bold, grand life, they only see a reflection of what they could have been in their below average life.

Unlike the prideful champs of the world, they followed the rules of society and lost their true self.

At the time of this writing, I received a YouTube video notification from the luxury and wealth website, Alux.  Alux dropped a new video for their Sunday Motivation Video series: 15 Things You Should NEVER Apologize For.  I didn’t even start the video and a huge smile came across my face.

I needed this video due to recent events.


Last week, I was assaulted and battered for my views on money and wealth. Don’t worry beloved readers; it wasn’t physical, so I suffered no damaged. The assault came in the form of whiny liberal crybabies armed with their smartphones, keyboards, and Twitter fingers. Crybabies who are sick and tired of being broke and struggling, but won’t take action to cure their sickness.

I decided to share a post from a leftist Facebook page on how if we’re gonna eat the rich, we should also eat pop-stars like Beyoncé. Because, to them, it’s unfair that Beyoncé makes $30,000,000 a show while hardworking normal people get scraps (not her fault lol).

I offered a solution to their problem:  Instead of worrying about and hating on how other people are building wealth, transmute that hateful energy towards something you’re great at and make money that way.  Hating on somebody else’s livelihood isn’t going to stop their cashflow nor decrease their income.

I was viciously ripped apart by those dogs.
But – to be honest – I love it when I make hit dogs holler.

get_money_stop_Crying

 

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My business? This blog.  Which is live, off the ground, active, and making me money.  Then again, when you gave up on blogging and any other businesses after you put little effort  to build them (because you wanna copy others and not do your own shit), you tend to be critical towards others working on their passion (Yes, I am a petty man. Tit for tat.)

At this point in my life, I’m used to being attack for being myself. As a Black man who happens to be a passionate nerd, receiving criticism for my lifestyle isn’t new at all. Uncultured, uneducated niggas think they can shame you because you want to educate yourself and rise above the destructive street culture that takes the lives of thousands of young black men each year (thanks systematic white supremacy for trapping and setting up the black community).

There are black men and women who are nerds, weeaboos, and geeks of course.  So finding common grounds with them should be simple.  Sadly, most Black nerds tend to be coonin’ ass, tap-dancin’, self-hatin’ Uncle Toms, Bed Bucks, and Bed Wenches. If you don’t get down with their little get down (trash talking other black people and kissing white nerds’ asses) they will ostracize you from their dusty nigga nerd groups.  To them, you’re not a “real” black nerd if you listen to mainstream hip-hop, wear stylish and timeless clothes, and speak out against racism.

I wish I was making all of this up.

Finally, you have racist white nerds (obviously) trying to hurt you and bring you down for being a black nerd with confidence.  If you’re not a buck-dancing coonin’ nigga nerd kissing their white asses, act like “other black people” (whatever that means), and you actually have a backbone/pair of balls to stand up to their bullshit (unlike a lot of you black nerds), they will attack you with extreme prejudice. And racism.

You, a black man, fucked that Asian Reimu Hakurei off the popular anime series Touhou cosplayer that they were eyeing at an anime convention? Best believe they will call you a nigger with a hard “r” (not to your face obviously they do it on their weeaboo Facebook groups).

Decided to cosplay outside your race and are cosplaying trash girl Aqua from Konosuba? You will get harassed by white nerds who demand that you cosplay somebody black; because they think your Black skin is ruining their precious 2D white/Asian waifu (again, these are the same people who think cosplay is for everyone).

You have to do you and accept yourself despite the heat.
Never apologize for it.


These vicious attacks against your character can even come from your friends, family or close associates. People who you thought you could lean on for moral support and had your back.  It can leave you heartbroken.

But you gotta keep doing you.

Years ago, I was heavily into the Shin Megami Tensei/Persona series.  Obsessed even.  I made a name for myself through the SMT/Persona communities on Facebook and had a rather successful live blogging of my Persona 3 and  Persona 4 adventures on tumblr (before I left tumblr due to the entitled, white crybabies; whining about life ruining the website).

Great times.

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One day, while I was kicking it with a few friends, a friend of mine decided that I needed a weeaboo intervention; because my passion for otaku culture and Persona was too much (for his weak mind who lacked passion for things).  He ranted about how Persona is an old series that he got into back in high school, how it was never going to reach mainstream popularity (what is that phrase that people use for stupid comments and statements? Lmfao), that I got into the series way too late for anyone to discuss about it (again, laughing my fucking ass off) and that I need to move on.

I simply smiled, nodded, and told him to fuck off.

What he was actually saying (i.e. projecting onto me) is that he wished he had the discipline and dedication to work on a live blog, that he could love something with grit (to deal with critical people that don’t get it), was passionate about had the balls and courage to speak on something that wasn’t popular, and that he wishes he could do the things I am doing.  That’s what people like that do: worry about what others are doing with their lives (because there’s something going on in their lives they have yet to control).

A few years later (as recently as the second weekend of October of this year), I had yet another friend thought that he could try and pull that same shit with me.

I was chilling at a local convention (Archon St. Louis) drunkenly cosplaying as Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club (genderswap, of course, I am not fuckin’ wearing a skirt as a man like every other male does when cosplaying as a school girl character). The friend (drunkenly) came up to me and started saying how he blocked anything Doki Doki Literature  Club related because I spoke about the game on my Facebook and Instagram pages “too much”.

I wanted to go off on him (as I tend to do with people when I’m heavily intoxicated), but I remember a small little victory I have over him.  It’s just a small, minor victory from but it’s nothing major at all:

DDLC_Monika_Genderswap_Fanart.png

See kids, when you’re yourself and don’t apologize for it, people (in time) will notice, show their appreciation, and respect you. It’s going to take time. A long time. But it does and will happen (but only if you work smart and hard for it).  Right then and there, I could have pulled that fanart up on my phone and told him to shut his ass up and walked away.  But I rather have him discover that image by himself than to look like a (complete) asshole to the eyes of the general convention public.

I – thanks to me subtly not giving a fuck about the opinions of others – have fanart of my cosplay.
He doesn’t.

(Now if I can gain massive success and make millions off this passion over time, that will be perfect)

This is why I  have Vegeta’s image for the feature image and his now famous quote from his battle against Jiren from Dragon Ball Super at the start of this article.

vegeta_I_can_never_throw_away_who_I_am

It’s a powerful line.  Vegeta’s pride as a Saiyan warrior was questioned and provoked by Jiren.  Pride disregarded by Jiren as mere arrogance.   But, to Vegeta, his arrogance is who he is: A proud warrior who loves his race. A man who suffered and made sacrifices to reach greatness.

I’m sure many of you guys reading this have been called egotistical and arrogant for being yourself, prideful, and having high levels of confidence.   People told you that you’re full of yourself? Good.  People who say that to you (to discourage you from following your path)  aren’t full of themselves and pride.  You know what they’re full of?

Full of self-doubt.  Full of self-hatred.  Full of low self-esteem. Full of envy.
They threw themselves away and gave up on their desires.

To those who are like that, can I you guys a few questions? What is your thought process when dealing with people who haven’t thrown themselves away and take pride in who they are?  Why do you feel the need to attack their pride and ego? Did something happen to you along the way for you to give up on being yourself? Why do you find joy in attacking those with high confidence?

While you losers apologizing for being yourself on Pity Party Drive, us winners are over here celebrating on Victory Road who we are.

-Yuki The Snowman

 

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Freewriting 0

We Love Controversy! (Freewrite)

NOTE: This is a freely written article on thoughts floating about in my head. As such, there is no structure or order with this post. I’m shooting from the hip.

Admit it: You love controversy.  It’s okay, nobody (except me), will judge you. In fact, you, the world, and I all love controversy.  It doesn’t matter if the controversy is caused by a football playing taking a knee during the National Anthem against racism/police brutality, a disgraced rapper tap-dancing, coonin’ it up, and running a Minstrel Show for his massas at the White House, or an edgelord “Babby’s first fucked up anime” featuring a disturbing rape scene in the first episode. We love it.  Love it so much that we waste time talking about whatever made us feel some type of way on social media, to our co-workers, friends, whoever may listen to us rant.

Even if we hate the thing that caused the controversy, we can’t help but talk about it.

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I miss the old Kanye…

Let’s take the newest Fall anime Goblin Slayer for example.  Anime fan circles online are at abuzz at towards the new show.  Not because it’s a great show or anything like that.  But because (as previously mention), it’s an edgelord, shit-tier anime that featured the brutal gang rape of a female character and a young girl being stabbed to death. In fact, Goblin Slayer (the manga) heavily features violence against women (meat shield lmfao).  And you already know that Left-Wing liberal college brats with useless college degrees and confusing genders are all up in their feelings about the first episode and the manga series as a whole.

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They have gone to their tumblrs and their twitters to rant about how Goblin Slayer is a male-power/ rape fantasy series and believes that it trains males to disrespect and assault women.  Others stated that if you like the show, you’re probably an edgy little brat who thinks violence in anime makes it mature.

They’re just giving the show free promotion at this point.

It’s funny: You’d think people would have the sense to not speak about the things they hate in order to not get it noticed. As we all know, that method never works. The more you talk about something you don’t like, the more awareness you bring to it.  The more awareness it gains, the more it’ll grow.  Example: Idiotic  Right Wing conservatives (racially charged) rampage against former NFL player Colin Kaepernick and his deal with Nike. Kaepernick got a nice paycheck with his “Just Do It” advisement using his stance, activism, and platform.

Old, white men and women didn’t like that and decided to destroy their already-paid $50 Nikes that their poor, broke ass brought from Shoe Carnival or Ross’s (nobody isn’t stupid enough to destroy $150+ Air Force Ones, Jordan’s, or exclusives Nike shoes). Their anger simply only helped out the Nike brand and caused Nike to see an increase in sales – all because they couldn’t stop talking about their hatred Kaepernick and Nike’s supporting him.

And then Nike played everyone and use the funds to support Right Wing politicians.

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Same. 

As a child of the 90s, I am not a stranger to dealing with controversial against the things I love.  The Simpsons  (back when it was a great series) got a lot of heat for showing how truly fucked up the American family can be. Violent video games such as Mortal Kombat, Grand Theft Auto, and Postal ¸ where under attack by family groups. Wrestling – especially The WWF, was considered too immoral for TV. Yet, despite the controversy and protests by parent groups, the government, and other entities, these things strived and generated sales and popularity from the backlash.  Why? Because people are naturally curious about terrible things. They check it out and see that whatever shit is causing the uproar isn’t all that bad.

I think people just feel good talking about the things they hate (or love)

With that said, If you are going to ask me how I am going to deal with the controversy behind  Goblin Slayer as an anime fan here’s my answer:

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Alcohol is a great coping tool. 

(Speaking of controversy, you should totally check out one of my favorite yet controversial blog post: Pirating Does NOT Hurt the Anime Industry and share it on social media so I can make people mad at me and have them talk about the article and my blog. I wanna make high-horse moral weebs in their feelings.)

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Anime convention 0

I’m Starving (Or How Anime Weekend Atlanta Left Me Wanting More): Chapter 3

Chapter 2 

Chapter 3:

An Slow Idiot and Why Should Have Been Hard on Myself

 

Planning for Anime Weekend Atlanta went smoothly; despite it being a last minute con for me.  As smoothly as somebody falling down a rugged mountain with jagged rocks and tearing their flesh apart.  Originally, I wasn’t even planning on going to AWA. I was focused on putting my resources towards attending Anime Expo (which was a highly successful trip for me), and then Michigan for my friend’s wedding (which was canceled due to his girlfriend’s father having to do military-duty shit). With my friend’s wedding being canceled,  I took any funds that I saved up for the wedding trip towards AWA.  And weed.  And liquor. And clothes.

So I’m kinda bad on saving and spending my money on stupid shit.

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In any case, I had to remind myself that I had to be strict with my money management skills as I was the only one on my team who was going to AWA – initially. For once, I was going to a con solo without any outside help (I had gone to Collosalcon 2015 by myself but I roomed with strangers, so that doesn’t count).  I had the funds saved to book myself a flight, buy a badge, and provide other needs for myself.  My sights were focused on being an independent weeaboo who didn’t need anyone to help him on his weeaboo festival trips.  It was going to be uncomfortable but in order to grow and improve you need that uncomforted.

Then – against all my best judgment and my gut feeling – I got back into my comfort zone.

My friend, “Sub-Zero” (A Sub-Zero cosplayer) hit me up and asked if I had a room for AWA.  I was going to shoot him down, but I figured having extra funds with two people splitting the room would help me.  Plus, extra funds meant I could stay in Atlanta for one more day and explore the Downtown area.  I let him join me.  Plus, he too wanted to stay in ATL a day extra so it worked out (or it would…).

A few days later, my friend “Noctis” (A Notctis cosplayer) hit me up asking if I had room for him.  I wanted to say no, but he was having a bad time mentality and wanted to go to the con. Plus, he wanted to help me build our brand and get us noticed in the Southeast.  So, of course, I had to let my boy join in on the fun.  He has skills that I lacked in terms of brand building and a natural leader of sorts.  Plus, more money in my pocket for that Sunday ATL adventure.

An adventure that never came to be among other things thanks to a bummy ass nigga.


A week later, my “friend” “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” asked if we had room in our hotel.  I immediately lied and said “no”; being all-so-aware of the drama he caused my crew at AWA 2017 (I was chilling with another friend for the weekend, so I avoided 99.9% of their drama). Sadly, the bum ass nigga revealed that Nactus had told him Sub-Zero and I was seeking people to help room with us.  The lie didn’t work.  Fuck. I (reluctantly) let him join us – causing things to go downhill quick in planning.

Here’s where I should have been hard on myself.

Despite if “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” would have gotten in his feelings (as he often does when things don’t go his way), I should have fuckin’ lied to him and told him we weren’t looking for anyone.  I would rather look like a liar in his eyes and never speak to him again based on that lie than to deal with con drama (that drained everyone mentality). We had more than enough funds set aside to cover the hotel.  My greed, and being a cheap ass, got the better of me.  What’s worse is that a day before he asked to room with us, my co-worker got fired; therefore, I picked up all his hours (which gave me more than enough extra funds for the trip). But nah. I wanted to be a “good friend” – against all judgment and logic.

The first of our problems came about when “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime”, Noctus, and I had all meet up for them to pay me their share of the room.  “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” suggested earlier that we should rent a car to drive down to ATL because his car couldn’t make the trip (and he was fearful that his car would get damaged by a deer like last year during their trip).  Despite my gut. telling me to say no and book a flight instead, I went ahead and agreed with the rental idea.   He needed about $70 from each person for the car. I told him that it would make logical sense for him to keep $70 of the money he owed me for his share of the hotel.  He protested against the idea; telling me to keep his part of the money.

Should have pressed the issue.
Fuck me and my stupidity.

The next day,  he went to the car rental place (he claimed). Apparently, he needed a $200 deposit to rent the car…despite him showing us a screenshot online of the rental details (unless he purposely hid that info in the screenshot which I heavily suspect). Fucking idiot.  He suggested that we should meet up at our friend’s house again to resolve the issue. An issue he should had researched weeks beforehand by asking me for the money he told me to keep. Even though I told him multiple times that it would have been beneficially for the crew if he would have kept it from the get-go.  I’m pissed.   I just did a 10-hour shift at the gig running on only 5 hours of sleep.  I just wanted to go home, smoke weed, and sleep.  But those things never happened. Like an actual harem MC (Makoto from School Days) he truly lacked common sense and reasoning.

We had to suffer for it.

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The differences between Makoto and my “friend” is that at least Makoto had the skills and talent to be a player. My “friend, not so much.

 


The day before the con brought a surprise that everyone was expecting: He didn’t get the rental. He gave us this long-winded, sob story how he was a shitty friend and that he was going to make it all up for us and get things right. He was on that abuser type shit trying to make amends for his shitty behavior to his battered victims (who he would blame/gaslight us for their abuse).  Oh. He made things up alright. By using our money that was supposed to be for the rental and put it towards repairs on his car – that would benefit him in the long-run – not us. The repairs cost “$270” for a tune-up and oil change.  Which, to be honest, doesn’t seem like it would run anyone $270. But what do I nor Noctus know who suspected he was trying to scam us for money?

The next day, We arrived at our hotel after a surprisingly smooth seven-hour ride from St. Louis to Atlanta.   We got to the hotel and I decide to take a few “we made it” shots and got myself drunk.  Sub-Zero went to get his badge leaving me and “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” alone in the room.  He revealed something that would have made me murder him if I had absolutely nothing to lose.

The repair costs that he claimed were $270?
It was actually $450+. And he was actually “broke”.
So “broke” that he could only afford a badge and food.
Oh and he owed Sub-Zero $100+. Money that was supposed to cover the room and allowed me to keep an extra $100 in my own pockets.

Fuck me. Fuck me and my kindness.

Contituned in Chapter 4.

 

 

 

 

Fate 2

How a Fate/Grand Order Poster Inspired Me (FREEWRITE)

Note: This is a raw, unedited, freeform post. 

I love my trip to Los Angeles and attending Anime Expo.  It was a life-changing experience of consuming and getting involved in local and global cultures that I’ll never experience in my hometown.  While I foolhardy limited my travels to Downtown L.A. and Little Tokyo, the drive to go back to the West Coast is eating me up (in fact, limiting myself is the reason why I must go back because there’s more of L.A. I want to see).  The trip sparked a fire within me to better myself finically (through having multiple sources of incomes) and improve my creative talents so I can justify visiting L.A. in order to growth (or better yet – if I decide to live in L.A. for a few years)

While wandering around the Downtown area searching for a CVS, I encounter a massive fate/grand order towering above the Wells Frago bank in the area. A huge smile came across my face for two reasons.  One, because I am a bit of a casual fan of the series and that I’m happy on how the series has come this far.  Two, it served as a reminder (to me) that even the titans of the industry I am a consumer of had to start at the bottom to reach the top.  The creators behind the fate series were just people like you and me who had the vision to breathe life into something they felt could change their industry, the world, and their lives.

As my eyes focused and analyzed the mighty fate poster, I started reflecting on my own goals and dreams in life (and how I want to create something that will be loved by many).  My mind brought up the struggles it took me to get to not only Los Angeles and Anime Expo, but my current level of life and how I persevere to push forward with my goals despite the pitfalls, doubters, haters, etc..

‘I wonder what sacrifices these fate dudes had to make to get to where they at today? How hard and smart did they work in order to become icons in the otaku niche.’ I asked myself.   The poster spawned endless questions in my mind.  Questions of hard work, sacrifice, brand building.  I became a curious child who was given a brand new toy and was obsessed with what the toy can do.  At that moment,  I started planning on what should I do with my own goals and desires and how in order to bring them to life.

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Me posing in front of one of the Fate/Grand Order posters in Downtown L.A.

The people who created the fate series were given the same two hands, two eyes, two feet, two legs, and a similar creative brain like me at birth.  The difference between those guys and me is that they got off their asses and bust them to bring their vision to the world. Yeah, they were met with problems, haters, doubters, and people telling them to give up on their dreams.  Yet they push through the noise.  That’s the struggle every creative person will face.  I am no exception to this law.

If we wanna reach the real shit, we must go through the bullshit. That’s the only way our dreams can come true.

Uncategorized 0

Post-Cali Blues

As per my April 2018 article, I don’t get post-con blues.  I never got the idea behind it.   If you get depressed after attending a weeaboo festival (and aren’t willing to do anything about it), you’re a loser. There are conventions held almost every weekend in major cities in America and across the globe that offers the same shit (for the most part).  As a result, conventions get boring after a while. The passion behind them get lost and you’re (well, I) are left wondering “well, what’s next for this little otaku hobby of mines?”.  After attending Anime Expo in Los Angles however, I must admit I’m feeling the blues.

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The entrance of Anime Expo

Am I’m upset that Anime Expo has come and go? Nah.  Too many rude, smelly ass weeaboos I had to deal with that won’t make me miss the con (still going back though).  I had to stop myself from losing my temper and beating the shit out of a disrespectful, shut-in nerd who almost bumped me into a wall; all because he wanted a picture of some Ichigo and 02 cosplayers from Darling in the Franxx that he’ll never get to fuck in his lifetime.  Having to walk twenty minutes to Kenta Hall when it normally would have taken me five minutes wasn’t that fun – especially since it the crowds created a fire hazard (risk our safety for the all mighty dollar, huh). Trying to find a panel room for twenty minutes only to find out I needed a wristband to prove I was over the age of 18 ain’t fun.  I’m not blue over those factors. What I’m feeling blue about is the fact I am not in Los Angles anymore.

I have Post Cali Blues.

Los Angeles Skyline Photo

I miss California.  For the short week I was there, I felt at peace.  I felt that I could be myself despite not being within my comfort zone.  The fantastic, 80-degree weather that felt like it was 60 degrees thanks to the ocean breeze.  The luscious women from all over the world.  Bruh, they were bad! People who mind their own business and who didn’t mean mug you.  The welcoming and acceptance of those from different cultures. Being surrounded by striving businesses at every corner.  This what sold me on California…expect for the high taxes and cost of living you guys can miss me with that bullshit.

I gotta go back to Cali again.

If you guys don’t know, I’m from St. Louis, Misery (or Missouri) – a small Midwestern city that hasn’t seen progress in nearly 60 years.  St. Louis isn’t shit when it comes to wanting to better oneself in growth, business, career, etc.  The hopeless, passionless idiots who never left this city think it’s great and there’s nothing absolutely wrong with it (despite the high murder rates, extreme poverty, racism, right-wing politics, etc.).  These people love to bring down anyone with a dream or desire to expand their lives beyond St. Louis.

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Fuck St. Louis

As a result, there are many haters and jealous niggas in the ‘Lou. California has its shares of crimes, haters, and hopeless idiots, sure. but I rather be stuck in a state that has legal weed, a chance for me to grow as a person, and network with those within my industry as opposed to continuing living in a city where I feel that I have no chance to do anything with my passion. What did that little dude say in FLCL? “Nothing amazing ever happens here”.  Yep. That’s St. Louis.

St. Louis sucks.

During downtime at Anime Expo, I went decided to explore L.A. for a bit.  It felt magical. Every turn, my eyes here treated to blooming, striving business helping bring L.A. income.  Downtown St. Louis? Every other business building is abandoned.  Downtown L.A. featured a fashion district.  Not a fashion store, mall, or outlet.  A fashion fucking district.   Did I mention legal, safe weed? Kush mind you, not no reggie or unknown kush with bug spray on it.

Legal. Fucking. Weed.

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Besides my degenerate lust towards weed, I’m a man of culture. Given that L.A. is a large city with over 3.7 million living in it, you’re going to get people from many cultural backgrounds telling them your experience.  As one Lyft driver told me, L.A. is made up of people from all over the world – not just native people.  With that, you get to talk to people from Asia, The Middle East, Africa, Europe, etc. and learn why they came ot America and how are they dealing with things here as their cultural experience clashes with the ones in America (as that adage goes; you can take the man out of the hood but you can’t take the hood out of the man).  St. Louis is cultural as well (we have strong Middle Eastern, Chinesse Mexican,  and Bosnian, communites) don’t get me wrong, but there aren’t as many international people here compared to the West Coast.   I personally that shit is cool.

 

To conclude, the post Cali blues is hitting hard for me right now. To be honest, I am a little disappoint that I didn’t explore much of L.A. beyond Little Tokyo and Downtown.   If ther ewasnt’ a convention in between my exploration, I feel like I could had gotten much more done in a week.  I’m kicking myself for not hitting up Hollywodo (Despite the latter being a tourist trap).  Venice Beach and Santa Monica are beautiful beach spots.   I low-key wanna explore Compton and study  one ofhte major parts of hip-hop history before it gets completely gentriflied by the liberals. I am going back to L.A. for my homeboy’s birthday and Anime’ L.A., so that will grant me a second chance to do the thigns I couldn’t do on my first trip.

I’m going back to Cali.

DRUNK AFTERWORD:
To those on my Facebook friend’s list who were mad about my post-con blues post: the fuck ya were gonna do besides be mad and not fuck with me anymore cuz I spoke that shit about post-con depression?

Dragon Ball Super 0

The Tournament of Power’s Important Lesson (Drunk Freewrite)

Disclaimer: This freewrite was written under the influence of alcohol. It may not make logical sense.

Dragon Ball isn’t deep.  There are deep themes, but it isn’t that deep than other anime.  Dragon Ball is a goofy, battle action manga and anime series created by some crazy Japanese dude who bread and butter is gag comedy manga (Dr. Slump). Expecting Dragon Ball to be meaningful and insightful is like trying to find one’s dignity at a drunken,  drug-fueled  anime con orgy:

 

It ain’t gonna happen.

This doesn’t mean that Dragon Ball can’t teach us lessons about life.  After all, Goku’s journey is a lesson that if you want to better yourself, you must go out and travel; putting in the hard (and smart) work to and learning under those better than you to obtain whatever you want in life.  Baby from Dragon Ball GT  teaches us that people who were treated unfairly (through oppression) will come back to take revenge against those who oppressed them – even going as far as hunting down and killing innocent people if they have to.

Dragon Ball Super with the Tournament of Power arc is no different.  There are valuable lessons to be taught about that arc, one that is obvious and yet – it’s the most important lesson.  In order to achieve what you want, emotions need to be put aside.

In episode whatever it was in Super (I’m drunk: I don’t feel like looking it up), Majin Buu succumb to his deep sleeping habits; putting him out of action for two months.  Thing is, it would have been okay for Majin Buu to take a two months break from combat…if he wasn’t a team member of Universe 7, and the existence of their universe was at risk of being destroyed by Zeno-Sama.  With their ranks shorten, Team Universe 7 had two options:

  1. Find a replacement for Majin Buu
  2. Operate at a loss and/or risk destruction

Logically, Team Universe 7 should have put Majin  Buu in the Time Chamber (Room of Spirit and Time for your purist elitist weeaboos) but logic doesn’ work in anime. While everyone else was in a panic, Goku came up with an ideal replacement for Majin Buu: Lord Frieza – mortal enemy of the Z Warriors.

The Z Warrirors weren’t happy with Goku’s suggestion.  They had every right to.  Krillin and Vegeta were murdered by him.  Piccolo’s race and home planet was destroyed by the cruel tyrant.   Plus, Frieza’s a snake.  Who knows what kinda of shit Frieza would pull on the Z Warrriors if given the chance.  If he wanted to, Frieza could had kill members of Unvierse 7 for shits and giggles.  (Un)forutnetly for Team Universe 7, Freiza’s an asset to their surivivial.  Yes, Frieza did horrible things to Z Warrrios and caused suffering to the unviersse.  But what’s worse; Having a powerful, yet psychopathic warrior on your side who can get the job done with ease or losing your exsitance because you got emotional over somebody you don’t like?

I thought so.

In dire situtaitons, you have to put aside your emotions and focus on the ultimate goal.  Emotions are great.  They make us humans.  They drive us to do amazing things.  But emotions can fuck you up if you can’t control them.   Let’s look at what happen to Lerbron James during the 2018 NBA Finals.  Game 1.  He got in his feelings over a teammate’s mistake.  He gave into them and got swept by The Golden State Warriors.

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What would had happen to Universe 7 if they gotten emotional over Frieza’s includcion to their team?  You might say “But Ben, they could had went with Yamcha instead or maybe even Cell!” You’re right.  They could had went with Yamcha or Cell.  But Yamcha would had gotten slaughter within the first five seconds of the tournament.  And Cell doesn’t give Toei Animation enough money like Frieza in terms of product sales.

Don’t get emotional when trying to hit your targets.

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Death Grounds: Anime Expo

30 days.  30 days until I need to get my shit together for Anime Expo. 30 days to structure my perfect battle plan. 30 days to mentally prep for the largest convention I have attended yet.  30 days of disciplining myself when it comes to money management. 30 days to get things right or lose everything I desired for my brand and personal growth – for at least a year.  30 days isn’t enough time when you’re planning out big moves. But you best use those days wisely.

I’m on death grounds.

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What is death grounds?  Death Grounds is a warfare strategy use as a reaction to desperation tactics in the face of not defeat – but death.   It’s based on Sun Tzu (author of The Art of War) desperate ground, which he defines as follows:

‘When you have the enemy’s strongholds on your rare, and narrow passes in front, it is hemmed-in ground.  When there is no place of refuge at all, it is desperate ground.’

In short, when pushed against a corner, an army must go all out to survive. If they don’t, they’ll be slaughtered by the opposition.  Failure isn’t an option.

It’s kill or be killed.

I know I’m coming off as dramatic over plans for a nerd convention, but put yourself in my shoes. Since Fall of 2017, I’ve been planning and going around telling my peers that I’m going to Anime Expo.  I’ve invested $350 on a plane ticket. I saved up $440 for my share of the hotel cost.  I invested $475 on an AX Premier Fan pass (a fancy way of saying VIP pass to avoid the long lines).  I’m ordering pieces for my Monika cosplay this week (only because I made a drunken post on social media stating that I’m doing a genderswap cosplay of her) which will run me around $150. Too much money has gone towards this trip for me not to go.

When you invested money into something, you better fucking make sure it happens.

I must gather my resources, wits, tools, and wisdom together to make it out to AX.  I either get to kill it at Anime Expo and achieve a milestone for my brand or die.  Of course, there’s next year, but let’s say if I miss out on this year’s AX.  I run the risk of losing opportunities this year I will never get next year.  There’s an influential guest or person at this year’s AX I could have met who could help me get to the next level.  He or she won’t be at any conventions again in their career.  I missed out on that network.  Death. Worse, I miss out on AX this year and a few weeks after the event, I die.  Death.

Scary, huh?

Here’s something scarier: Allowing myself to be on  Death Grounds is fun. It’s a lot of pressure, but it’s fun.  I guess it’s my borderline masochist nature, but I find it motivating. Why? Because I want to see the end results of this 10 months of planning. . All my shit talking,  planning, and performing massive action must pay off.  I can’t fuck up now.  In fact, there are no fuck ups allowed on death grounds.

Either you win or die.