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Life 0

Never Apologize For Being You.

‘I can never throw away who I am!’
-Vegeta, Dragon Ball Super

You should never apologize for being yourself. Even if people don’t get who you are as a person, you still need to be and do you.  Somebody demands that you apologize for your quirky passions? Fuck them! Somebody thinks you’re too egotistical? Don’t feel bad. That person suffers from low self-esteem and loves to hate on anyone who has pride in themselves.

Never say sorry to them because you never allowed society to control who you should be.

People who get on the cases of other people (because they accepted who they are) are cowardly, beta losers who’ve allowed society to hammer them down and stripped them of their pride and confidence. When these lowly, insecure nobodies see people being comfortable with themselves and living a bold, grand life, they only see a reflection of what they could have been in their below average life.

Unlike the prideful champs of the world, they followed the rules of society and lost their true self.

At the time of this writing, I received a YouTube video notification from the luxury and wealth website, Alux.  Alux dropped a new video for their Sunday Motivation Video series: 15 Things You Should NEVER Apologize For.  I didn’t even start the video and a huge smile came across my face.

I needed this video due to recent events.


Last week, I was assaulted and battered for my views on money and wealth. Don’t worry beloved readers; it wasn’t physical, so I suffered no damaged. The assault came in the form of whiny liberal crybabies armed with their smartphones, keyboards, and Twitter fingers. Crybabies who are sick and tired of being broke and struggling, but won’t take action to cure their sickness.

I decided to share a post from a leftist Facebook page on how if we’re gonna eat the rich, we should also eat pop-stars like Beyoncé. Because, to them, it’s unfair that Beyoncé makes $30,000,000 a show while hardworking normal people get scraps (not her fault lol).

I offered a solution to their problem:  Instead of worrying about and hating on how other people are building wealth, transmute that hateful energy towards something you’re great at and make money that way.  Hating on somebody else’s livelihood isn’t going to stop their cashflow nor decrease their income.

I was viciously ripped apart by those dogs.
But – to be honest – I love it when I make hit dogs holler.

get_money_stop_Crying

 

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My business? This blog.  Which is live, off the ground, active, and making me money.  Then again, when you gave up on blogging and any other businesses after you put little effort  to build them (because you wanna copy others and not do your own shit), you tend to be critical towards others working on their passion (Yes, I am a petty man. Tit for tat.)

At this point in my life, I’m used to being attack for being myself. As a Black man who happens to be a passionate nerd, receiving criticism for my lifestyle isn’t new at all. Uncultured, uneducated niggas think they can shame you because you want to educate yourself and rise above the destructive street culture that takes the lives of thousands of young black men each year (thanks systematic white supremacy for trapping and setting up the black community).

There are black men and women who are nerds, weeaboos, and geeks of course.  So finding common grounds with them should be simple.  Sadly, most Black nerds tend to be coonin’ ass, tap-dancin’, self-hatin’ Uncle Toms, Bed Bucks, and Bed Wenches. If you don’t get down with their little get down (trash talking other black people and kissing white nerds’ asses) they will ostracize you from their dusty nigga nerd groups.  To them, you’re not a “real” black nerd if you listen to mainstream hip-hop, wear stylish and timeless clothes, and speak out against racism.

I wish I was making all of this up.

Finally, you have racist white nerds (obviously) trying to hurt you and bring you down for being a black nerd with confidence.  If you’re not a buck-dancing coonin’ nigga nerd kissing their white asses, act like “other black people” (whatever that means), and you actually have a backbone/pair of balls to stand up to their bullshit (unlike a lot of you black nerds), they will attack you with extreme prejudice. And racism.

You, a black man, fucked that Asian Reimu Hakurei off the popular anime series Touhou cosplayer that they were eyeing at an anime convention? Best believe they will call you a nigger with a hard “r” (not to your face obviously they do it on their weeaboo Facebook groups).

Decided to cosplay outside your race and are cosplaying trash girl Aqua from Konosuba? You will get harassed by white nerds who demand that you cosplay somebody black; because they think your Black skin is ruining their precious 2D white/Asian waifu (again, these are the same people who think cosplay is for everyone).

You have to do you and accept yourself despite the heat.
Never apologize for it.


These vicious attacks against your character can even come from your friends, family or close associates. People who you thought you could lean on for moral support and had your back.  It can leave you heartbroken.

But you gotta keep doing you.

Years ago, I was heavily into the Shin Megami Tensei/Persona series.  Obsessed even.  I made a name for myself through the SMT/Persona communities on Facebook and had a rather successful live blogging of my Persona 3 and  Persona 4 adventures on tumblr (before I left tumblr due to the entitled, white crybabies; whining about life ruining the website).

Great times.

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One day, while I was kicking it with a few friends, a friend of mine decided that I needed a weeaboo intervention; because my passion for otaku culture and Persona was too much (for his weak mind who lacked passion for things).  He ranted about how Persona is an old series that he got into back in high school, how it was never going to reach mainstream popularity (what is that phrase that people use for stupid comments and statements? Lmfao), that I got into the series way too late for anyone to discuss about it (again, laughing my fucking ass off) and that I need to move on.

I simply smiled, nodded, and told him to fuck off.

What he was actually saying (i.e. projecting onto me) is that he wished he had the discipline and dedication to work on a live blog, that he could love something with grit (to deal with critical people that don’t get it), was passionate about had the balls and courage to speak on something that wasn’t popular, and that he wishes he could do the things I am doing.  That’s what people like that do: worry about what others are doing with their lives (because there’s something going on in their lives they have yet to control).

A few years later (as recently as the second weekend of October of this year), I had yet another friend thought that he could try and pull that same shit with me.

I was chilling at a local convention (Archon St. Louis) drunkenly cosplaying as Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club (genderswap, of course, I am not fuckin’ wearing a skirt as a man like every other male does when cosplaying as a school girl character). The friend (drunkenly) came up to me and started saying how he blocked anything Doki Doki Literature  Club related because I spoke about the game on my Facebook and Instagram pages “too much”.

I wanted to go off on him (as I tend to do with people when I’m heavily intoxicated), but I remember a small little victory I have over him.  It’s just a small, minor victory from but it’s nothing major at all:

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See kids, when you’re yourself and don’t apologize for it, people (in time) will notice, show their appreciation, and respect you. It’s going to take time. A long time. But it does and will happen (but only if you work smart and hard for it).  Right then and there, I could have pulled that fanart up on my phone and told him to shut his ass up and walked away.  But I rather have him discover that image by himself than to look like a (complete) asshole to the eyes of the general convention public.

I – thanks to me subtly not giving a fuck about the opinions of others – have fanart of my cosplay.
He doesn’t.

(Now if I can gain massive success and make millions off this passion over time, that will be perfect)

This is why I  have Vegeta’s image for the feature image and his now famous quote from his battle against Jiren from Dragon Ball Super at the start of this article.

vegeta_I_can_never_throw_away_who_I_am

It’s a powerful line.  Vegeta’s pride as a Saiyan warrior was questioned and provoked by Jiren.  Pride disregarded by Jiren as mere arrogance.   But, to Vegeta, his arrogance is who he is: A proud warrior who loves his race. A man who suffered and made sacrifices to reach greatness.

I’m sure many of you guys reading this have been called egotistical and arrogant for being yourself, prideful, and having high levels of confidence.   People told you that you’re full of yourself? Good.  People who say that to you (to discourage you from following your path)  aren’t full of themselves and pride.  You know what they’re full of?

Full of self-doubt.  Full of self-hatred.  Full of low self-esteem. Full of envy.
They threw themselves away and gave up on their desires.

To those who are like that, can I you guys a few questions? What is your thought process when dealing with people who haven’t thrown themselves away and take pride in who they are?  Why do you feel the need to attack their pride and ego? Did something happen to you along the way for you to give up on being yourself? Why do you find joy in attacking those with high confidence?

While you losers apologizing for being yourself on Pity Party Drive, us winners are over here celebrating on Victory Road who we are.

-Yuki The Snowman

 

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Freewriting 0

We Love Controversy! (Freewrite)

NOTE: This is a freely written article on thoughts floating about in my head. As such, there is no structure or order with this post. I’m shooting from the hip.

Admit it: You love controversy.  It’s okay, nobody (except me), will judge you. In fact, you, the world, and I all love controversy.  It doesn’t matter if the controversy is caused by a football playing taking a knee during the National Anthem against racism/police brutality, a disgraced rapper tap-dancing, coonin’ it up, and running a Minstrel Show for his massas at the White House, or an edgelord “Babby’s first fucked up anime” featuring a disturbing rape scene in the first episode. We love it.  Love it so much that we waste time talking about whatever made us feel some type of way on social media, to our co-workers, friends, whoever may listen to us rant.

Even if we hate the thing that caused the controversy, we can’t help but talk about it.

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I miss the old Kanye…

Let’s take the newest Fall anime Goblin Slayer for example.  Anime fan circles online are at abuzz at towards the new show.  Not because it’s a great show or anything like that.  But because (as previously mention), it’s an edgelord, shit-tier anime that featured the brutal gang rape of a female character and a young girl being stabbed to death. In fact, Goblin Slayer (the manga) heavily features violence against women (meat shield lmfao).  And you already know that Left-Wing liberal college brats with useless college degrees and confusing genders are all up in their feelings about the first episode and the manga series as a whole.

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They have gone to their tumblrs and their twitters to rant about how Goblin Slayer is a male-power/ rape fantasy series and believes that it trains males to disrespect and assault women.  Others stated that if you like the show, you’re probably an edgy little brat who thinks violence in anime makes it mature.

They’re just giving the show free promotion at this point.

It’s funny: You’d think people would have the sense to not speak about the things they hate in order to not get it noticed. As we all know, that method never works. The more you talk about something you don’t like, the more awareness you bring to it.  The more awareness it gains, the more it’ll grow.  Example: Idiotic  Right Wing conservatives (racially charged) rampage against former NFL player Colin Kaepernick and his deal with Nike. Kaepernick got a nice paycheck with his “Just Do It” advisement using his stance, activism, and platform.

Old, white men and women didn’t like that and decided to destroy their already-paid $50 Nikes that their poor, broke ass brought from Shoe Carnival or Ross’s (nobody isn’t stupid enough to destroy $150+ Air Force Ones, Jordan’s, or exclusives Nike shoes). Their anger simply only helped out the Nike brand and caused Nike to see an increase in sales – all because they couldn’t stop talking about their hatred Kaepernick and Nike’s supporting him.

And then Nike played everyone and use the funds to support Right Wing politicians.

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Same. 

As a child of the 90s, I am not a stranger to dealing with controversial against the things I love.  The Simpsons  (back when it was a great series) got a lot of heat for showing how truly fucked up the American family can be. Violent video games such as Mortal Kombat, Grand Theft Auto, and Postal ¸ where under attack by family groups. Wrestling – especially The WWF, was considered too immoral for TV. Yet, despite the controversy and protests by parent groups, the government, and other entities, these things strived and generated sales and popularity from the backlash.  Why? Because people are naturally curious about terrible things. They check it out and see that whatever shit is causing the uproar isn’t all that bad.

I think people just feel good talking about the things they hate (or love)

With that said, If you are going to ask me how I am going to deal with the controversy behind  Goblin Slayer as an anime fan here’s my answer:

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Alcohol is a great coping tool. 

(Speaking of controversy, you should totally check out one of my favorite yet controversial blog post: Pirating Does NOT Hurt the Anime Industry and share it on social media so I can make people mad at me and have them talk about the article and my blog. I wanna make high-horse moral weebs in their feelings.)

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Anime convention 0

I’m Starving (Or How Anime Weekend Atlanta Left Me Wanting More): Chapter 3

Chapter 2 

Chapter 3:

An Slow Idiot and Why Should Have Been Hard on Myself

 

Planning for Anime Weekend Atlanta went smoothly; despite it being a last minute con for me.  As smoothly as somebody falling down a rugged mountain with jagged rocks and tearing their flesh apart.  Originally, I wasn’t even planning on going to AWA. I was focused on putting my resources towards attending Anime Expo (which was a highly successful trip for me), and then Michigan for my friend’s wedding (which was canceled due to his girlfriend’s father having to do military-duty shit). With my friend’s wedding being canceled,  I took any funds that I saved up for the wedding trip towards AWA.  And weed.  And liquor. And clothes.

So I’m kinda bad on saving and spending my money on stupid shit.

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In any case, I had to remind myself that I had to be strict with my money management skills as I was the only one on my team who was going to AWA – initially. For once, I was going to a con solo without any outside help (I had gone to Collosalcon 2015 by myself but I roomed with strangers, so that doesn’t count).  I had the funds saved to book myself a flight, buy a badge, and provide other needs for myself.  My sights were focused on being an independent weeaboo who didn’t need anyone to help him on his weeaboo festival trips.  It was going to be uncomfortable but in order to grow and improve you need that uncomforted.

Then – against all my best judgment and my gut feeling – I got back into my comfort zone.

My friend, “Sub-Zero” (A Sub-Zero cosplayer) hit me up and asked if I had a room for AWA.  I was going to shoot him down, but I figured having extra funds with two people splitting the room would help me.  Plus, extra funds meant I could stay in Atlanta for one more day and explore the Downtown area.  I let him join me.  Plus, he too wanted to stay in ATL a day extra so it worked out (or it would…).

A few days later, my friend “Noctis” (A Notctis cosplayer) hit me up asking if I had room for him.  I wanted to say no, but he was having a bad time mentality and wanted to go to the con. Plus, he wanted to help me build our brand and get us noticed in the Southeast.  So, of course, I had to let my boy join in on the fun.  He has skills that I lacked in terms of brand building and a natural leader of sorts.  Plus, more money in my pocket for that Sunday ATL adventure.

An adventure that never came to be among other things thanks to a bummy ass nigga.


A week later, my “friend” “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” asked if we had room in our hotel.  I immediately lied and said “no”; being all-so-aware of the drama he caused my crew at AWA 2017 (I was chilling with another friend for the weekend, so I avoided 99.9% of their drama). Sadly, the bum ass nigga revealed that Nactus had told him Sub-Zero and I was seeking people to help room with us.  The lie didn’t work.  Fuck. I (reluctantly) let him join us – causing things to go downhill quick in planning.

Here’s where I should have been hard on myself.

Despite if “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” would have gotten in his feelings (as he often does when things don’t go his way), I should have fuckin’ lied to him and told him we weren’t looking for anyone.  I would rather look like a liar in his eyes and never speak to him again based on that lie than to deal with con drama (that drained everyone mentality). We had more than enough funds set aside to cover the hotel.  My greed, and being a cheap ass, got the better of me.  What’s worse is that a day before he asked to room with us, my co-worker got fired; therefore, I picked up all his hours (which gave me more than enough extra funds for the trip). But nah. I wanted to be a “good friend” – against all judgment and logic.

The first of our problems came about when “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime”, Noctus, and I had all meet up for them to pay me their share of the room.  “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” suggested earlier that we should rent a car to drive down to ATL because his car couldn’t make the trip (and he was fearful that his car would get damaged by a deer like last year during their trip).  Despite my gut. telling me to say no and book a flight instead, I went ahead and agreed with the rental idea.   He needed about $70 from each person for the car. I told him that it would make logical sense for him to keep $70 of the money he owed me for his share of the hotel.  He protested against the idea; telling me to keep his part of the money.

Should have pressed the issue.
Fuck me and my stupidity.

The next day,  he went to the car rental place (he claimed). Apparently, he needed a $200 deposit to rent the car…despite him showing us a screenshot online of the rental details (unless he purposely hid that info in the screenshot which I heavily suspect). Fucking idiot.  He suggested that we should meet up at our friend’s house again to resolve the issue. An issue he should had researched weeks beforehand by asking me for the money he told me to keep. Even though I told him multiple times that it would have been beneficially for the crew if he would have kept it from the get-go.  I’m pissed.   I just did a 10-hour shift at the gig running on only 5 hours of sleep.  I just wanted to go home, smoke weed, and sleep.  But those things never happened. Like an actual harem MC (Makoto from School Days) he truly lacked common sense and reasoning.

We had to suffer for it.

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The differences between Makoto and my “friend” is that at least Makoto had the skills and talent to be a player. My “friend, not so much.

 


The day before the con brought a surprise that everyone was expecting: He didn’t get the rental. He gave us this long-winded, sob story how he was a shitty friend and that he was going to make it all up for us and get things right. He was on that abuser type shit trying to make amends for his shitty behavior to his battered victims (who he would blame/gaslight us for their abuse).  Oh. He made things up alright. By using our money that was supposed to be for the rental and put it towards repairs on his car – that would benefit him in the long-run – not us. The repairs cost “$270” for a tune-up and oil change.  Which, to be honest, doesn’t seem like it would run anyone $270. But what do I nor Noctus know who suspected he was trying to scam us for money?

The next day, We arrived at our hotel after a surprisingly smooth seven-hour ride from St. Louis to Atlanta.   We got to the hotel and I decide to take a few “we made it” shots and got myself drunk.  Sub-Zero went to get his badge leaving me and “Bummy Ass Nigga Who Thinks He’s The MC of a Harem Anime” alone in the room.  He revealed something that would have made me murder him if I had absolutely nothing to lose.

The repair costs that he claimed were $270?
It was actually $450+. And he was actually “broke”.
So “broke” that he could only afford a badge and food.
Oh and he owed Sub-Zero $100+. Money that was supposed to cover the room and allowed me to keep an extra $100 in my own pockets.

Fuck me. Fuck me and my kindness.

Contituned in Chapter 4.

 

 

 

 

Fate 2

How a Fate/Grand Order Poster Inspired Me (FREEWRITE)

Note: This is a raw, unedited, freeform post. 

I love my trip to Los Angeles and attending Anime Expo.  It was a life-changing experience of consuming and getting involved in local and global cultures that I’ll never experience in my hometown.  While I foolhardy limited my travels to Downtown L.A. and Little Tokyo, the drive to go back to the West Coast is eating me up (in fact, limiting myself is the reason why I must go back because there’s more of L.A. I want to see).  The trip sparked a fire within me to better myself finically (through having multiple sources of incomes) and improve my creative talents so I can justify visiting L.A. in order to growth (or better yet – if I decide to live in L.A. for a few years)

While wandering around the Downtown area searching for a CVS, I encounter a massive fate/grand order towering above the Wells Frago bank in the area. A huge smile came across my face for two reasons.  One, because I am a bit of a casual fan of the series and that I’m happy on how the series has come this far.  Two, it served as a reminder (to me) that even the titans of the industry I am a consumer of had to start at the bottom to reach the top.  The creators behind the fate series were just people like you and me who had the vision to breathe life into something they felt could change their industry, the world, and their lives.

As my eyes focused and analyzed the mighty fate poster, I started reflecting on my own goals and dreams in life (and how I want to create something that will be loved by many).  My mind brought up the struggles it took me to get to not only Los Angeles and Anime Expo, but my current level of life and how I persevere to push forward with my goals despite the pitfalls, doubters, haters, etc..

‘I wonder what sacrifices these fate dudes had to make to get to where they at today? How hard and smart did they work in order to become icons in the otaku niche.’ I asked myself.   The poster spawned endless questions in my mind.  Questions of hard work, sacrifice, brand building.  I became a curious child who was given a brand new toy and was obsessed with what the toy can do.  At that moment,  I started planning on what should I do with my own goals and desires and how in order to bring them to life.

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Me posing in front of one of the Fate/Grand Order posters in Downtown L.A.

The people who created the fate series were given the same two hands, two eyes, two feet, two legs, and a similar creative brain like me at birth.  The difference between those guys and me is that they got off their asses and bust them to bring their vision to the world. Yeah, they were met with problems, haters, doubters, and people telling them to give up on their dreams.  Yet they push through the noise.  That’s the struggle every creative person will face.  I am no exception to this law.

If we wanna reach the real shit, we must go through the bullshit. That’s the only way our dreams can come true.

Uncategorized 0

Post-Cali Blues

As per my April 2018 article, I don’t get post-con blues.  I never got the idea behind it.   If you get depressed after attending a weeaboo festival (and aren’t willing to do anything about it), you’re a loser. There are conventions held almost every weekend in major cities in America and across the globe that offers the same shit (for the most part).  As a result, conventions get boring after a while. The passion behind them get lost and you’re (well, I) are left wondering “well, what’s next for this little otaku hobby of mines?”.  After attending Anime Expo in Los Angles however, I must admit I’m feeling the blues.

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The entrance of Anime Expo

Am I’m upset that Anime Expo has come and go? Nah.  Too many rude, smelly ass weeaboos I had to deal with that won’t make me miss the con (still going back though).  I had to stop myself from losing my temper and beating the shit out of a disrespectful, shut-in nerd who almost bumped me into a wall; all because he wanted a picture of some Ichigo and 02 cosplayers from Darling in the Franxx that he’ll never get to fuck in his lifetime.  Having to walk twenty minutes to Kenta Hall when it normally would have taken me five minutes wasn’t that fun – especially since it the crowds created a fire hazard (risk our safety for the all mighty dollar, huh). Trying to find a panel room for twenty minutes only to find out I needed a wristband to prove I was over the age of 18 ain’t fun.  I’m not blue over those factors. What I’m feeling blue about is the fact I am not in Los Angles anymore.

I have Post Cali Blues.

Los Angeles Skyline Photo

I miss California.  For the short week I was there, I felt at peace.  I felt that I could be myself despite not being within my comfort zone.  The fantastic, 80-degree weather that felt like it was 60 degrees thanks to the ocean breeze.  The luscious women from all over the world.  Bruh, they were bad! People who mind their own business and who didn’t mean mug you.  The welcoming and acceptance of those from different cultures. Being surrounded by striving businesses at every corner.  This what sold me on California…expect for the high taxes and cost of living you guys can miss me with that bullshit.

I gotta go back to Cali again.

If you guys don’t know, I’m from St. Louis, Misery (or Missouri) – a small Midwestern city that hasn’t seen progress in nearly 60 years.  St. Louis isn’t shit when it comes to wanting to better oneself in growth, business, career, etc.  The hopeless, passionless idiots who never left this city think it’s great and there’s nothing absolutely wrong with it (despite the high murder rates, extreme poverty, racism, right-wing politics, etc.).  These people love to bring down anyone with a dream or desire to expand their lives beyond St. Louis.

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Fuck St. Louis

As a result, there are many haters and jealous niggas in the ‘Lou. California has its shares of crimes, haters, and hopeless idiots, sure. but I rather be stuck in a state that has legal weed, a chance for me to grow as a person, and network with those within my industry as opposed to continuing living in a city where I feel that I have no chance to do anything with my passion. What did that little dude say in FLCL? “Nothing amazing ever happens here”.  Yep. That’s St. Louis.

St. Louis sucks.

During downtime at Anime Expo, I went decided to explore L.A. for a bit.  It felt magical. Every turn, my eyes here treated to blooming, striving business helping bring L.A. income.  Downtown St. Louis? Every other business building is abandoned.  Downtown L.A. featured a fashion district.  Not a fashion store, mall, or outlet.  A fashion fucking district.   Did I mention legal, safe weed? Kush mind you, not no reggie or unknown kush with bug spray on it.

Legal. Fucking. Weed.

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Besides my degenerate lust towards weed, I’m a man of culture. Given that L.A. is a large city with over 3.7 million living in it, you’re going to get people from many cultural backgrounds telling them your experience.  As one Lyft driver told me, L.A. is made up of people from all over the world – not just native people.  With that, you get to talk to people from Asia, The Middle East, Africa, Europe, etc. and learn why they came ot America and how are they dealing with things here as their cultural experience clashes with the ones in America (as that adage goes; you can take the man out of the hood but you can’t take the hood out of the man).  St. Louis is cultural as well (we have strong Middle Eastern, Chinesse Mexican,  and Bosnian, communites) don’t get me wrong, but there aren’t as many international people here compared to the West Coast.   I personally that shit is cool.

 

To conclude, the post Cali blues is hitting hard for me right now. To be honest, I am a little disappoint that I didn’t explore much of L.A. beyond Little Tokyo and Downtown.   If ther ewasnt’ a convention in between my exploration, I feel like I could had gotten much more done in a week.  I’m kicking myself for not hitting up Hollywodo (Despite the latter being a tourist trap).  Venice Beach and Santa Monica are beautiful beach spots.   I low-key wanna explore Compton and study  one ofhte major parts of hip-hop history before it gets completely gentriflied by the liberals. I am going back to L.A. for my homeboy’s birthday and Anime’ L.A., so that will grant me a second chance to do the thigns I couldn’t do on my first trip.

I’m going back to Cali.

DRUNK AFTERWORD:
To those on my Facebook friend’s list who were mad about my post-con blues post: the fuck ya were gonna do besides be mad and not fuck with me anymore cuz I spoke that shit about post-con depression?

Dragon Ball Super 0

The Tournament of Power’s Important Lesson (Drunk Freewrite)

Disclaimer: This freewrite was written under the influence of alcohol. It may not make logical sense.

Dragon Ball isn’t deep.  There are deep themes, but it isn’t that deep than other anime.  Dragon Ball is a goofy, battle action manga and anime series created by some crazy Japanese dude who bread and butter is gag comedy manga (Dr. Slump). Expecting Dragon Ball to be meaningful and insightful is like trying to find one’s dignity at a drunken,  drug-fueled  anime con orgy:

 

It ain’t gonna happen.

This doesn’t mean that Dragon Ball can’t teach us lessons about life.  After all, Goku’s journey is a lesson that if you want to better yourself, you must go out and travel; putting in the hard (and smart) work to and learning under those better than you to obtain whatever you want in life.  Baby from Dragon Ball GT  teaches us that people who were treated unfairly (through oppression) will come back to take revenge against those who oppressed them – even going as far as hunting down and killing innocent people if they have to.

Dragon Ball Super with the Tournament of Power arc is no different.  There are valuable lessons to be taught about that arc, one that is obvious and yet – it’s the most important lesson.  In order to achieve what you want, emotions need to be put aside.

In episode whatever it was in Super (I’m drunk: I don’t feel like looking it up), Majin Buu succumb to his deep sleeping habits; putting him out of action for two months.  Thing is, it would have been okay for Majin Buu to take a two months break from combat…if he wasn’t a team member of Universe 7, and the existence of their universe was at risk of being destroyed by Zeno-Sama.  With their ranks shorten, Team Universe 7 had two options:

  1. Find a replacement for Majin Buu
  2. Operate at a loss and/or risk destruction

Logically, Team Universe 7 should have put Majin  Buu in the Time Chamber (Room of Spirit and Time for your purist elitist weeaboos) but logic doesn’ work in anime. While everyone else was in a panic, Goku came up with an ideal replacement for Majin Buu: Lord Frieza – mortal enemy of the Z Warriors.

The Z Warrirors weren’t happy with Goku’s suggestion.  They had every right to.  Krillin and Vegeta were murdered by him.  Piccolo’s race and home planet was destroyed by the cruel tyrant.   Plus, Frieza’s a snake.  Who knows what kinda of shit Frieza would pull on the Z Warrriors if given the chance.  If he wanted to, Frieza could had kill members of Unvierse 7 for shits and giggles.  (Un)forutnetly for Team Universe 7, Freiza’s an asset to their surivivial.  Yes, Frieza did horrible things to Z Warrrios and caused suffering to the unviersse.  But what’s worse; Having a powerful, yet psychopathic warrior on your side who can get the job done with ease or losing your exsitance because you got emotional over somebody you don’t like?

I thought so.

In dire situtaitons, you have to put aside your emotions and focus on the ultimate goal.  Emotions are great.  They make us humans.  They drive us to do amazing things.  But emotions can fuck you up if you can’t control them.   Let’s look at what happen to Lerbron James during the 2018 NBA Finals.  Game 1.  He got in his feelings over a teammate’s mistake.  He gave into them and got swept by The Golden State Warriors.

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What would had happen to Universe 7 if they gotten emotional over Frieza’s includcion to their team?  You might say “But Ben, they could had went with Yamcha instead or maybe even Cell!” You’re right.  They could had went with Yamcha or Cell.  But Yamcha would had gotten slaughter within the first five seconds of the tournament.  And Cell doesn’t give Toei Animation enough money like Frieza in terms of product sales.

Don’t get emotional when trying to hit your targets.

Uncategorized 0

Death Grounds: Anime Expo

30 days.  30 days until I need to get my shit together for Anime Expo. 30 days to structure my perfect battle plan. 30 days to mentally prep for the largest convention I have attended yet.  30 days of disciplining myself when it comes to money management. 30 days to get things right or lose everything I desired for my brand and personal growth – for at least a year.  30 days isn’t enough time when you’re planning out big moves. But you best use those days wisely.

I’m on death grounds.

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What is death grounds?  Death Grounds is a warfare strategy use as a reaction to desperation tactics in the face of not defeat – but death.   It’s based on Sun Tzu (author of The Art of War) desperate ground, which he defines as follows:

‘When you have the enemy’s strongholds on your rare, and narrow passes in front, it is hemmed-in ground.  When there is no place of refuge at all, it is desperate ground.’

In short, when pushed against a corner, an army must go all out to survive. If they don’t, they’ll be slaughtered by the opposition.  Failure isn’t an option.

It’s kill or be killed.

I know I’m coming off as dramatic over plans for a nerd convention, but put yourself in my shoes. Since Fall of 2017, I’ve been planning and going around telling my peers that I’m going to Anime Expo.  I’ve invested $350 on a plane ticket. I saved up $440 for my share of the hotel cost.  I invested $475 on an AX Premier Fan pass (a fancy way of saying VIP pass to avoid the long lines).  I’m ordering pieces for my Monika cosplay this week (only because I made a drunken post on social media stating that I’m doing a genderswap cosplay of her) which will run me around $150. Too much money has gone towards this trip for me not to go.

When you invested money into something, you better fucking make sure it happens.

I must gather my resources, wits, tools, and wisdom together to make it out to AX.  I either get to kill it at Anime Expo and achieve a milestone for my brand or die.  Of course, there’s next year, but let’s say if I miss out on this year’s AX.  I run the risk of losing opportunities this year I will never get next year.  There’s an influential guest or person at this year’s AX I could have met who could help me get to the next level.  He or she won’t be at any conventions again in their career.  I missed out on that network.  Death. Worse, I miss out on AX this year and a few weeks after the event, I die.  Death.

Scary, huh?

Here’s something scarier: Allowing myself to be on  Death Grounds is fun. It’s a lot of pressure, but it’s fun.  I guess it’s my borderline masochist nature, but I find it motivating. Why? Because I want to see the end results of this 10 months of planning. . All my shit talking,  planning, and performing massive action must pay off.  I can’t fuck up now.  In fact, there are no fuck ups allowed on death grounds.

Either you win or die.

 

Nerd Culture 2

Are Nerds Trendsetters? (Freewrite)

Yuki’s Note: This is unorganized and I probably got a few things wrong about nerd culture in the mainstream.  Whoops. 

I love scrolling through my Facebook feed and seeing ads from companies such as Sugoi Shirts and Kaomoji.  Seeing their flamboyant Japanese street fashion inspired clothing makes me smile at the expense of my wallet.  But who cares as long as it could make me look good. I just wanna rock a fuckin’ shirt with an anime girl with a censor bar across her eyes in public!  It just makes me feel good about myself and feeds my ever growing ego. But man, who would imagine vendors online selling stylish and fashionable weeaboo shirts on Facebook?

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Nerds have come a long way since the darker days of our passion when we were shamed for simply enjoying our nerd culture.  If I were to wear my weeaboo attire 20 years ago, people would mock me.  Today? People (for the most part) tend to mind their business.  Shit, just the other day,  when I  went to my local head shop the store clerk saw my shirt and we started talking about Fate series for a few minutes (he thought my sunglasses were something based off Fate).  It was a lovely chat until he said that Rin was the worse girl in the Fate series and that Saber was the best.

I ain’t never going back to that headshop.

Anyway, you wanted to catch a superhero movie in full cosplay back in 1996 and you were over the age of 13?  You got roasted!  Now it’s the norm for people to cosplay as their favorite Marvel or DC superhero at opening night. If there was a nerd in a TV show, they were the laughing stock loser who never get the woman.  They never got anywhere.  But shows such as Silicon Valley has ended the stereotype that nerds are losers and that their hobbies won’t get them anywhere.  I gotta say, this is the golden era of the nerd.

Everything that I’ve mentioned above now leads me to this question: Are nerds trendsetters?

The obvious question is yes, of course.  In fact, I even answered the question my self.  So leave my page.  I want to say that, but I do enjoy going deeper with my theories and exploring them. We (well, I) have come up with the conclusion that nerds are trendsetters.  But why?  Why are us nerds trendsetters, and how can we take advantage of this before the inevitable nerd bubble breaks and we’re back to being shoved into lockers and having our lunch money stolen by the jocks (well, you weak nerds are getting shoved into the lockers, I’m knocking anyone out who tries to do that to me).

This is my theory:

People were tired of the old shit and wanted something new.   Everyone and their moms love reality TV, watching sports, drinking at the local bar, what have you.  Meanwhile, the nerds were in the background; creating and working on their passion. We spent our time inside, communicating with our peers, showcasing our talent online.  As time went on and technology advance bringing the advent of social media people were started to take notice of the group they once shunned away: The Nerd.

Social media lead the way for nerds to showcase their creative talent (although we’ve been doing this shit years and years  before that came along through online forums, blogs, etc.) As more people gain access to the internet, the more nerds were given exposure.  Yes, there were TV channels such as the Sci-Fi Channel, Tech TV, and g4, but they were only viewed by their niche target market.

Now?  Well, I mean they’re still being watched by their niche market, but the normies are getting into them as well.   Oh and g4 is dead.  So perhaps that doesn’t count.  Shows that were once for nerds with cahs (meaning they could afford internet and cable packages) are available through streaming services such as Hulu, Crunchyroll, Netflix, etc..   The video game industry makes more than the movie industry.   Anime is…catching up.  It still has a some catching up to do, but with anime (slowly) creeping into the mainstream, I say it won’t be long until anime in the West is treated like film.

It’s funny to think about how nerds are shaping things up.  We’re like rockstars (almost).  Seriously.  Go on YouTube right now and you see that some of the top YouTubers are people talking about video games or streaming themselves playing games.  Two decades ago folks would scream at nerds that playing games isn’t a real career.   Today? Playing video games and screaming at a game for hours on end is considered a real job. Of course, you have those normies who think that isn’t a real career, but they’re just mad that they’re slaving away at some corporate or labor gig they hate while the nerds they used to bully are making hunder of thousands of dollars playing video games.

So, to anwser my own question: Yes. Nerds are trendsetters.

 

Freewriting 0

Playing The Long Game As A Nerd (Freewrite)

 

“You still watching Dragon Ball Z, nigga?  Grow up!”
“Stop acting white! You’re too old to watch cartoons!”
“Go get some pussy and stop playing video games!”

Growing up as a (black) nerd in a backward ass Midwestern city was rough (in the early 2000s). Throughout middle and high school if you had nerdy interests, you were deemed a loser amongst your peers.   Nobody (outside your fellow outcasted nerds) wanted to fuck with you.  You were bullied, teased, and taunted for your nerdy passion.  I too dealt with my fair share of bullshit from normies who didn’t have the balls to step out of their comfort zone; unlike us nerds who didn’t fuck with that fitting in shit.

I still remember how my normie peers would tell me how being a nerd was uncool and that I need to grow up.  They claimed that video games and anime would never get me pussy, popularity, or money.  Of course, they were wrong.  Hell, even with my near grandiose levels of ego, I knew they were wrong. Mainly because  I spent my free-time shit posting and trolling gaming and anime forums communicating with older nerds who went through the same shit I was going through back then.   Many of them had wives, families, money, and status at their jobs.  Some even talked about how they hooked up with an equally nerdy chick or a dude at comic and anime conventions.

I mean shit, I looked up to Bill Gates when I in middle and high school.  Here was a nigga that  was a total nerd in his school days.  Was bullied for being a nerd, spent his weekends working on computers for 40 hours while everyone else was partying and doing stupid, unproductive shit. He played the long game with his brand and within a few decades, he became the richest men in the world.

So much for nerds being losers.

Reading about Bill Gates’s success (as well as the success of older nerds online) made me realize this at a young age:  If I’m going to dedicate my life to being a nerd and building something for myself off it,  then I better play the long game. I just knew deep down that nerd culture was going to be popular.  I just had this gut feeling that nerds and geeks in America will stop being bullied.  That we were going to be trendsetters. Game changers.  The dominant culture in entertainment (The Big Bang Theory doesn’t fuckin’ count).

At the turn of this decade (the 2010s),  my vision was coming true (for the nerd community). Blockbuster superhero movies were the norm.  Video games were treated as a respectful, valued form of entertainment.  Anime (and otaku culture) was accepted.  Anime and video game clubs were poppin’ up in high schools across America.  While nerds were still being bullied, it was happening far less often then decades past.  Kids were free to wear their favorite anime or superhero shirt without fear of being teased or mock.  Conventions were getting mainstream attention.  Being a nerd was now consider cool.

Playing my first long game paid off.

Playing the long game with your passion isn’t easy.  Do not think you won’t face difficulties as a player of the long game.  You are fuckin’ stupid and clueless if you think there no errors or hardships with the long game.  You will have people talk to out of your passion (as they do not see nor understand your vision).   You will get called weird, mad, goofy, insane, whatever your hopeless, average, bottom feeders peers will throw up in your face.  As a player of the long game, you need to block those people out.  Cut them out of your lives even.   Link up with other people who share your passion and understand that success takes years to achieve instead.

How do you play the long game as a nerd?  Simple: Pick something you’re passionate about.  You love vlogging about the latest episodes of mainstream anime?  Good.  Stick with it for a few years. Do you find joy in making others happy when you play video game music on your violin?  Perfect.  Keep it up for years and years on end.  Don’t expect success to come overnight.  If you do, quit right now.  You ain’t cut out for the long game.

To those still bitter about the past and how nerd culture is now popular: Good.  Stay mad.  I need bitter ass suckers like you so I don’t have to worry about fighting other nerds to get that number one spot and dominate and intimidate everyone in the culture one day. Keep being miserable.

For the normies who made fun of nerds and are only on the nerd train cuz it’s popular: Thanks for being suckers!  I look forward to making money and build my brand off yall niggas.

For the rest of us nerds who are taking advantage of this trend: Play hard.  Work hard.  Success is ours for the taking.

poems 2

Race and Crash (Original Poem)

Racetrack.
Hot, black asphalt.
Snaking around the course.
Racers gather ‘round, bumper-to-bumper.
Each wishes to dominate over their competitors.
We rev our engines, our cars roaring with intimidation.
We wait without patience,
As the starting lights sang,
That familiar tune.

Ding. Ding. Ding. DING!
Lap one.

The race begins.
Start slow.
No need to rush just yet.
Let the losers fight for first.
Then push for it when they’re tired.
A sudden left.
Tricky corner.
Wrap my car around it with ease
Such mastery and grace.
Zip ahead the slow racers.
Who never master that turn.
8th, 7th, 6th, 5th,4th they’re too slow.
3rd, 2nd, and 1st,
Take their place.
And now I, The Champion
Won first.

End lap one.
Lap Two.

The losers want my top position
I peep into my rearview
Rookie idiot crashed
Trying to take my place
I laughed, you thought you could win.
Low class.
Another loser comes close.
I’ll be nice.
Have first place.
You look so happy.
Hope you win.
Go for it, you can do it!
Actually.
Changed my mind,
I zipped past that loser
With a smirk
Finish line draw nears,
And I remind in first place.

End Lap two.
Final Lap.

Victory draws near.
Defend my rightful first place.
Against men desperate to win
This crazy race.
No more playing hit the gas.
If you’re not first you’re last.
Some loser comes near.
Too near.
Adrenaline rush.
It’s so much.
How you got so close?
No worries.
I turn my head back to taunt
“You’ll never win!”
I laughed.
When I win, I’m gonna flaunt

Or not. Shit, that’s a wall, isn’t it?

CRASH
And then I lost the race.
That “loser” became the best.
There goes being at the top.
In victory, know when to stop.

AFTERWORD:

In the original draft of this poem, this was going to speak about overthinking and a racing mind (thus the racing symbolism) but that shit was falling apart so I decided to go a simple route and talk about how being overconfident and cocky can lead to one’s downfall.

Plus, I was blasting some F-Zero music so there’s that.

Freewriting 0

Playing the Long Game (Freewrite)

Recently, my friend came back to town for the Easter holiday weekend.  I haven’t seen him in over a year, so naturally, I had to hit my boy up and see how he’s doing.  After work decided to pay him a visit to see how he was doing.  As I arrived at his parents’ house (where he was staying), I saw playing chess against our homegirl.  I’ve always been interested in playing chess, but I was unaware of anyone (in my circle) who played it (until recently).  Wanting to feed my curiosity on the game, I ask to play the winner (our homegirl).

My homegirl, knowing that I’m new to the game, gave me the rundown on it. She described how each piece has their own movements, attacks,  and the best way to make moves with the pieces. Finally, she ended with the most important detail of chess: planning ahead for the long game. In short, she taught me how chess is about making strategies in your head often; being aware of the risks and rewards that lie beyond.

During her explanation, I realized how chess is like planning my next moves (in terms of brand building, vlogging, blogging, etc.) and looking beyond the moment.   You don’t simply move without logic.  You must not only plan all the way to the end but adapt to changes as well.

Chess is a game of patience and long-term planning – similar to brand building.

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When building your brand, business, etc., you need to plan things out.  If you don’t, you will be overwhelmed with stress and problems.  Planning for the long game takes time, thoughts, energy, and effort.  You must craft a plan for each project – for each move.  There are no excuses.

Say my first move is to write a review on Kokkou.  My plan is to make time to watch 12, 23 minutes of the series (6 hours or so) once without taking notes.  My second move will be to watch it again while writing notes on character devolvement, scriptwriting, animation, etc. Following that, I’ll take out the details in my writing that aren’t important, logically, etc. Once those are tackled, I start writing the first three drafts of my review until I hit my final draft.  During this time, I make a schedule for this writing project with a deadline.  This way, my review for the anime comes out in time while it’s still fresh in the fans mind.

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My long game plan on writing anime reviews or analysis also includes my regular 9-to-5 schedule/plans.  Let’s say I have to go in to work at 11.  The night before, I take about one hour (10PM-11PM) to add content to my review before I go to sleep for about 6 hours (11PM-5AM).  From 5AM-7AM, I just continue to write from where  I left off the night before. From 7AM-7:45AM, I prep and eat a protein heavy breakfast.  After that, I take a shower and once I’m done with that, it’s back to writing until I have to leave to work (I’m in my work clothes by then so there’s no delay or making myself late for work as I’m working on a project).

Repeat until success.

To conclude, you gotta plan for the long game with your projects.  It will help you out.  You need to set up your plan with logic, and not be ruled by your heart.  Attacking a project without a plan will destroy you.  It is foolish not to plan things you.

(Note: I have yet to watch Kokkou.  Do not wait for me for a review for it.)

 

Raw and Unedited 2

Closing My Eyes Until I’m 29 (Freewrite)

(WARNING: The following post contains my raw, unedited thoughts.  Therefore, you may encounter spelling and grammar errors.  Plus,  I don’t feel like editing a free foam writing post).

The past month or so has been chaotic for my creative pride.  With being active in writing, getting my side hustle off the ground, and planning out content for my YouTube channel, my ego has gone into overdrive.  I’ve grown arrogant, snapping on people who judge my passion on different Facebook group. When I see people judge my shit, my thoughts go ‘I don’t see you putting your works out for the public to see’  and ‘When was the last time you created something?’.  I’m finding myself upset that some people (who are my friends) won’t support me, but they support a stranger (in our niche).  I normally turn to a business and branding group I’m a member of for support, but despite their helpful posts, it doesn’t help for long.

In short, I’m feeling impatience about my journey (and a bit of jealousy towards others who’re doing better than me, sadly).

I turned to YouTube to see if I can find any branding influencer I follow for help.  I came across Gary Vaynerchuk’s channel in my subscription.  He has awesome materials for dealing with impatience, so I started to scroll through his channel until I saw a certain video:

(If you don’t have time to watch the video above, here are some quick notes:

1. Drown out the noise around you and just focus on you until you hit 29 (or 39, 49, etc.).
2. Impatience kills creativity.
3. Everyone who’s in their 20s with “success” hasn’t’ truly hit success in the grand scheme of things.)

I needed this.  I needed somebody to tell me that the feeling of impatience and wanting success badly are normal feelings.  Ever since I started to study about the moves I need to make, self-education, and working on me (for a better future), I have just been impatient and angry.  Impatient because I feel that I’m pouring my heart into my passion and not getting the results I want.  Angry because I wish I would have the materials and tools (that I’ve discovered at age 27-28) when I was still in high school.   If I had those tools back then, perhaps I would be in a better place right now.

Then again, there’s a saying: Better late than never.  Am I mad at myself that I started out late?  Yes.  Am I happy I started at 28?  Yes.  I’ve accepted the fact that I’m a late bloomer and everything lmfao. In any case, I need to close my eyes until I’m 29 (three weeks from now).  I figure if I limit my time on social media (only using it for networking and brand building), my mental state will improve.  I won’t be as impatient, and I stop comparing myself to others.  Drown out the noise as Gary Vee suggested in the video.

It won’t happen overnight (like success), but it’s a start.  So I’m closing my eyes until I’m 29.

 

AFTERWORD:

Sorry for the whinny ass post lmfao.  I just needed to get this off my chest do something productive with how I feeling rather than holding it in.  I promise I’ll post the weeaboo shit soon.

Art source:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=8390979

Doki Doki Literature Club 0

My Favorite Things (Fan Poem)

*My Favorite Things*

Today I want to share a few of my favorite things.
I must warn you, I am enthusiastic about my loves.
An overt fanatic even.

What are my favorite things you may ask?

Well, I am infatuated with books.
The epic tales of brave, flamboyant heroes overcoming impossible odds.
Unexplainable horrors of the unknown violating your psyche.
Immense, multiple worlds anyone can journey through.
I don’t think about the tales I emerged myself in too much.
I just let the tales lead me.
Characters exhibiting their own unique personality
Mirroring the characters of our own world.
I love to sink into them naturally – exploring the world the author invited me to.

That’s why books are just a few of my favorite things.

Are you still curious about my loves? My favorite things?
Good.
I feel comfortable with me telling you about them.
Don’t worry; my loves aren’t too outlandish, hopefully.

What else do I love?
I adore tea.
Black. Green. Herbal.
An abundance of selections for your needs.
Need relaxation? Chamomile.
Want an energy boost? Eary Gray.
Tea for all occasions, for all needs.

That’s why I love tea.

May I tell you one more thing I love?
Oh, but if I do tell, it might drive you away
Scare you even.
But I can’t contain myself – I must tell you!

I love knives.

The alluring danger from their unforgiving sharp edge.
The beauty of the silver blade, irresistible.
I want to resist the urge of touching my skin with them.
But I can’t!
My heart’s beat assaults my chest, my slow breath deepens the blade kisses my skin.
Fresh cuts joining scars from kisses long since passed.
Blood dip, sliding along my skin.
I fill the silence of my room with a blissful, perverted sigh.

Oh! I’m sorry. Was that too much for you?
Perhaps one of my loves was too intense for you after all.
I hope you don’t find me strange or obsessive towards my loves.
I just wanted to share with you
Just a few of my favorite things with you…

yuri_knives.jpg

AFTERWORD:
Free form poetry isn’t hard. What’s hard is writing that shit for a character you only have a few things in common with.  Might do poems focused on Monika and Sayori next I dunno.

Also, i can’t believe I originally played DDLC to make fun of the fans and the game but it inspired me to get back into writing poems lmfao

Art source:

Uncategorized 0

I Wish I Knew How to Draw (Freewrite)

Monika’s desires in Doki Doki Literature Club are clearly rooted in jealousy.  She is merely a (self-aware) spectator who watches her (scripted) friends fall in love and live a normal school life.  Meanwhile, she cannot do anything, as she knows her role as a program.  Despite such a situation, she falls in love with the main character (more so the player) but knows she could never get with them.  Therefore, she plots against her friends – murdering them one by one – in order to trap the hero and force them to love her.

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As I play DDLC and see Monika’s growth as a jealous villain, I’m reminded of another character that was driven by jealousy and love: Kain of Final Fantasy 4.  Like Monika, Kain grew jealous of his friend (Cecil) over the fact that Cecil was in a relationship with the heroine, Rosa. Kain was in (unrequited) love with her.  Kain grew hatred towards Cecil; plotting to kill him to get with Rosa. Kain failed, however (as his emotions were manipulative by the game’s villain).

 

FINAL_FANTASY_IV_Artwork_5
Kain Simpwind

 

“Monika is like Kain.  Fuck I wish I knew how to draw.”  I told myself as I reached Monika’s villain reveal in DDLC.  As she explains her reasoning behind her action, I started to imagine if I had visual artistic talents how I would draw Monika as Kain.  Have her in Kain’s Draagoon armor and her holding a lance (with the tip coated in green to symbolize her jealous nature).

Monika Highwind.  I think that could work.

For years, I had this wish that I could draw.  I used to be envious of my friends who could draw.  Our friends would surround the artist of the group as they reveal their last work. I played the violin, but you couldn’t just whip out a violin in the middle of class and play it.  So I wasn’t able to showcase my talents.  I tried my hand at drawing and even asking my artistic “friend” for help.  He just laughed and told me I’d never become a great artist.  Sadly,I took that to heart and quit drawing ever since (gotta love toxic friends).

As the years gone by, I regretted not sticking with improving my visual art skills.  Yea, I would have suck back in 2004, but in 2018? Perhaps I could done something fantastic with my skills.  Right now, I’m kicking myself for listening to said “friend”.  For those who don’t know, I’m working on re-hacking a Fire Emblem 4 romhack that uses Touhou characters.

As I’m testing the hack, I’m having visions of the action in-game.  I want to draw these visions.  Visions of Reimu and Sigurd having a friendly chat.  Marisa crying as Alice is struck down dead.  Kaguya and Mokou attempting to kill each other with their respective Holy Weapons.  Plus, it’ll make for great promotion for the romhack.

If there is something you’ve been wishing you could be doing, don’t delay.  Get on that shit today.  Don’t let others discourage you from taking action.  If you ask your talented friend for advice and they just belittle you, end that friendship right then and there.  They mean you no good and they do not wish for your success at all.

Just things I wish I would have known when I was younger.

 

Anime community 5

Post-Con Blues: I Don’t Get It (Litterally and Figuratively)

In my eight years of traveling to conventions and browsing through convention social media pages/groups, there is one ailment that tends to impact many an otaku: Post-Con Blues.  Post-Con Blues is the feeling of depression and sadness at the end of a convention.  Many will have to wait a year or so to see their cosplaying friends and weird ass costumed brethren, dealing with the “normies” of the real world.  I’m going to be real: I do not get this post-con blues thing. It sounds goofy to me.  Ever since my first convention (Anime St. Louis 2010) I never felt this feeling of sadness.  Did it suck that I had to return to the real world after my first convention? Kinda.

 

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A Sayaka cosplayer crying in her hotel room while her Madoka cosplaying friend awkwardly looks on.

 

I say kinda only because I figured years ago if I go back to work, spend and save my money wisely, I could continue and traveling to conventions and write about my experience on them (althrough seven years later after my first convention but whatever, I’m lazy).  Going to conventions weekend after weekend would burn me out and destroy my bank account.  Seeing the same people and cosplays would bore me quick.

Another counter messaurement I have for post-con blues is my hobbies outside of anime.  I love reading books (business, self-help/education, money, etc.) – so I focus my attention on those things.  I kick it with my friends when we’re free. Watching anime helps as well…when I have the time (being an adult working 60 hours a week is brutal).

Something to help keep my mind off cons for a bit.

If I do get upset after a convention, it’s more so I’m leaving a more cultured city and returning to the hellhole that is Saint Louis, lmfao.  I remember being treated with so much love at Atlanta when my  crew went to Anime Weekend Atlanta back in 2014.  People were friendly, polite, helpful, and not on some bullshit back in St. Louis.  I love St. Louis, but we are fucking backwards.  We are too slow to catch trends and by the time we do get trends, it’s too late.  I’m not saying Atlanta is perfect, but when you know your city barely has any culture and you go to a city full of it, it changes your mind about your hometown.

Now, my next statement will be harsh. Cruel even.  But you guys know me – I don’t care for the feelings of others (for the most part).   I personally (again, I) think if you have post-con blues, that simply means you have no life outside of your anime hobbies.  Sorry, but that’s how I feel. If your life revolves around whacky ass Japanese cartoons (and you’re not making money or major moves off it), you live a sad life.  If you use conventions to escape your problems rather than reward yourself for solving them (that you can control mind you), you’re an idiot.

To conclude this short little essay or freewrite or whatever, I don’t’ get post con blues.  Never have and never will.  I feel that I have means to avoid that shit and do better myself, but that’s just me. If you have post con blues, then do something about it rather than whine about it.

Peace.