hip-hop – Yuki The Snowman

Reality Over Fiction: Why Real Life Empowerment is Better Than This Nerd Crap

“This Tupac museum is way better than going up to that little anime convention down the street!” I told a mother and daughter who asked me if I could take their picture next to a collection of notebooks from legendary rapper the late Tupac Shakur. Both women laughed and nodded in agreement. I myself was in awe reading his original, hand-written drafts of some of his iconic hit songs such as Troublesome ’96, To Live and Die in L.A., All About You, and California Love. From the pages, you could feel Tupac’s drive to make each of his works a masterpiece.

I was originally in Los Angeles during the 4^th of July 2022 weekend for Anime Expo: the annual anime convention in which broke socially awkward weeaboos with disposable income spend their money to help support Los Angeles’s train wreck of an economy (and to an extent, California’s own train wreck of an economy).

However, in the planning stages of my L.A. trip, I came across an advertisement for the Wake Me Up When I’m Free Tupac exhibit hosted in L.A. Live. I figured that it’d be great to take a break from all the weeaboos who finally learned some social skills and take care of their personal hygiene during the COVID shutdowns in order to do something more laid back. Plus, as someone who’s a fan of hip-hop, the arts, and a proud Foundational Black American, I felt that it was my duty to pay respect to the man who not only changed the world but especially inspired Black people globally to rise up against systematic white supremacy and to better themselves.

Anime conventions come and go. Most offer the same thing that you can experience at any other convention. But, a once-in-a-lifetime pop-up museum revolving around the life of a Black man who changed society, well, I had to go and check that out before it was too late.

Not mere seconds upon entering the exhibit, I felt powerful energy and drive that I’ve never experienced at any anime con. The energy of Black Empowerment. The drive to better myself as a Black man. Reading stories of Afeni Shakur – the mother of Tupac – and her courage to stand up against white supremacy as a member of the Black Panther Party during the 70s made me feel proud to be who I am.

Seeing how driven Tupac was in his short 25 years of life to create and produced only fueled my own creative drive. Reading about how he was able to produce many hit songs even in jail made me realize how much I threw away so much free I was blessed with during the 2020-2021 COVID lock-downs. Freetime that could have birthed work. Work that could have birthed content. Content that could have birth funds for me to have a much better and longer time in Los Angeles and Anime Expo. Don’t get me wrong: I had a hell of a time in Los Angeles and Anime Expo this year – but – it would have been nice to have more money in my pockets and more time on my hands out there.

Hell, if I wasn’t such a moron who let his inner darkness take control which turned into a destructive mental slump over a simple minor medical issue like heart failure (that landed me in the hospital for a week), I could have produced so much high-grade content for my blog and YouTube channel. That in turn could have birthed new traffic flow to my website and subscriptions to my YouTube channel. I could have grown big enough to land myself a free press or industry pass for Anime Expo; thus, saving me money and netting those glorious industry connections (only for me to lose them given how quickly they will discover how I could never be in their industry like that with my savage mouthpiece).

I know that you should never compare yourself to someone else. It’s a dangerous mental trap, but I gotta get this off my chest. Tupac spent time in a hopeless situation like prison and was able to produce hits after hit. Yet I wasted a year of my life feeling sorry for myself. A year where I could I could have risen up from the darkness and into the light and just produce masterpiece content like him.

As Foundation Black Americans, it’s a skill we’ve mastered due to 400 years and counting of going through the most horrific and sinister shit in human history. Honestly, being in that exhibit (as well as a real friend giving me a kick in the ass about my behavior) just gave me the realization that I have to go back to my old-school ways (producing content like crazy like I did during 2017-2019).

Like Tupac, I had to take control of my own life and direct my own fate.
That’s true empowerment.

*****

In contrast, the night before, I was at Atlus’s Persona 25th Midnight Masquerade dance party that was held during Anime Expo 2022. After waiting in the general admission line for over an hour, I had arrived just in time to hear this Asian DJ stop playing music (it wasn’t even Persona music, mind you) and start whining like a little bitch about as a child, he felt insecure about his racial heritage; wishing that he wasn’t Asian. As things couldn’t get more awkward, he sang a song about his struggles of being Asian in Canada. I wish that I would have recorded that, but I, along with my crew, felt second-hand embarrassment from that turn of events and left to chat it up with some Persona (and Shin Megami Tensei) cosplayers in the bar area.

(I can’t believe you early admission tickets guys really paid $25 to get in early only to hear that mess).

That was just pathetic. I couldn’t imagine being a young Asian person up at that party and hearing another Asian whine about how insecure he felt in his youth. How’s that empowering to anyone? Let me be that DJ! If I was him, I’d be up there talking reckless on stage about great Asians are because we made Persona, anime, and cosplay.

I would be like “If it wasn’t for us Asians making Persona and getting cosplay poppin all over the world none of these non-Asians motherfuckers would be here today dressing up as OUR characters! A lot of these dudes are only gonna get laid tonight cuz our race made characters like Ann Takamaki, Kasumi Yoshizawa, and Rise Kujikawa cuz these little cosplay hos are dressed up as the tonight! That Maya cosplayer looks positive and I ain’t talking about her always saying ‘let’s think positive’ in Persona 2 or COVID! Any guy getting with her later tonight better wrap up it! Anyway, We’re the master race – not the whites! Yellow Power! ”

I would MAKE sure neither Atlus nor Anime Expo hires me to DJ their events ever again!

That wild fantasy aside, that lack of knowing oneself through empowerment. It’s the mindset of most nerds. You have these white male nerds who have been given everything handed to them due to white supremacy. So, when something does go bad for them, they lack the willpower to get through it. That’s why you see these little white boy incels degrading shooting up public places, and getting involved with alt-right groups.

For the non-white nerds (and the white nerds who aren’t on board with white supremacy) they lack the courage to push through the hardships of life. Most only look forward to the past with blind nostalgia because they don’t see a hopeful future. Pride in oneself is absent from their psyche.

They use fiction as a shield to withdraw from and protect themselves against the savagery of this life. By hiding from life, they don’t have the foresight to see how amazing and beautiful life can be despite its cruel, twisted darkness. Most of these nerds don’t use any of this geek junk they indulge in to empower themselves. They hate on the alpha male and alpha female nerds who have the testicular and ovarian fortitude to not use nerd culture to hide from life. Why do you think there’s rarely any true self or communal empowerment at these conventions?

This is why I named this post “Reality Over Fiction”. I felt more driven to better myself in the two hours I spent at the Tupac museum compared to the 10+ years I’ve gone to these geek conventions across America. Honestly, you can’t find empowerment or people who want to better themselves at these conventions. Why? Because self-empowerment demands that you take a deeper look at yourself and force you to question what the hell have you been doing with all your life. They don’t want to realize they’ve wasted their life not doing anything with it. Funny, given the heroes they look up to (may they be fictional or real) rose up and empowered themselves.

Guess it’s easier in fiction than in reality.

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The Swarthy Nerd Podcast
A Black nerd empowerment podcast where Black nerds (well, all nerds, but Black first and foremost) can get together and talk freely about nerd culture while also acknowledging systematic white supremacy and racism in nerd culture. Every Tuesdays we drop episodes containing serious and laidback topics while Saturdays we drop episodes talking about TV shows, anime, film, comics, manga, and video games.

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By Yuki The Snowman Posted on July 16, 2022

higurashi no naku koro ni 0

How Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni Got Me into Old School Hip-Hop

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni (lit. When The Cicadas Cry) is a fantastic, intense horror anime, manga, and visual novel series filled with nerve-wracking suspense, psychological terror, bloody brutality, and relentless ultra-violence written by Japanese author Ryukishi07. Higurashi is beloved by both anime and visual novel fans globally and is considered by many as Ryukishi07’s best work, and for many great reasons.

By crafting a cocktail of classic narrative themes/conflicts, traditional Japanese folklore, and supernatural elements with real-world topics/issues (such as mental illness, child abuse/neglect, ethics in scientific research, citizens vs. government, etc.), Ryukishi07 delivered to the world of anime and visual novel a powerful and thought-provoking masterpiece. A masterpiece that ’s still respected and celebrated in anime and visual novel circles today; despite the visual novel ending in 2006 (not counting remakes, ports, remasters, etc. after 2006), and five years after the run of the anime (with Higurashi Outbreak in 2013).

2735493-ryukishi07-2015 — Series creator Ryukishi07

With Halloween drawing near, I figured that it now would be the best time to talk about this marvelous series – but not in a way you may expect. Yes. The spooky holiday is almost here. Higurashi is a spooky anime. You would think that logically, I would talk about the spooky and horror themes of the series.

But, I’m going to take different approach.
A much different approach.

Would you call me crazy if I say that Higurashi, a Japanese otaku series, helped me get into old school Hip-Hop; a beloved urban American music artform?
Imagine that!

Life…
I wonder…
Will it take me under?
I don’t know.
-Rika Furude probably

Yes. As wild as it may sound, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni got me into old-school hip-hop. Out of anything and everything that is a possibility in the world, it took a Japanese horror series for me to not only get into old-school hip-hop but have a strong love for it. You may be wondering how is that ’s even possible.

Well, in order for me to tell you this tale, we need to go back to the Summer of 2010.

I’ve been a fan of Higurashi for almost a year after discovering the series on YouTube (I was actually aware of it back in high school, but that’s for another tale). And by a fan, I was fucking obsessed with it. I spent most of that summer looking up anything Higurashi; in efforts to gain knowledge about it. The official manga. The Fan doujins. The voice actors. Video games. Ryukishi07 himself even. And of course, it’s music.

Goddamn, the music.

One night, I was bumpin’ Dear You: Destructive, one of many remixes of Shion’s image song You from the Higurashi visual novel. As the song was ending, there was a video in the suggestion bar of YouTube that made me a bit curious thanks to its thumbnail.

The thumbnail featured a transparent face of Rena in the foreground of a New York City borough with the word “You” in the top right corner in Old English font. The title of the video was in Japanese, sans one single word: “HIPHOP”. I merely assumed that a Japanese doujin music producer created a hip-hop sample beat of the song and was excited to hear a hip-hop version of the song.

Being ever so curious and my attention grabbed, I clicked on the link.

The song starts to play. A lone piano playing arpeggios rang out for four bars. The piano version of You no doubt. A drumbeat sample from Shing02 and Nujabee’s Luv Sic Pt. 1 played on the fifth beat and throughout the song, along with a woman (Lauryn Hill) vocalizing “ooo ooo ooooo”, and an East Coast hip-hop legend spitting.

‘Imagine smokin’ weed in the streets without cops harassin’
Imagine going to court with no trial…’

‘This is Nas! This is Nas rapping over a Higurashi song!’ I was in both awe and disbelief. Some visual novel otaku fuck in Japan mashed up Nas’s If I Ruled The World with You! Not only did he do that, but he also threw in the drum track from Luv Sic as an added bonus! Granted, I knew who Nas was thanks to a friend who’s a fan of his works – I just wasn’t a fan of him until I heard this mashup.

I instantly fell in love with both the mashup and the lyrics of If I Ruled The World, even if it wasn’t the original song itself. I let the song repeat itself for about seven times. Upon Hearing the sorrowful piano notes of You in unison of Nas’s speaking on of his vision of utopia for Black America, along with Lauryn Hill’s breathtaking vocals, and the cries of the summer cicadas, Goosebumps hit me hard.

I grew ever more curious about If I Ruled The World and the lyrics.

‘It’s elementary: they want us all gone eventually’.
‘Why does this fit well with how the Japanese government wants to wipe out Hinamizawa and the villagers in it?!’ I asked myself.

‘If I ruled the world (imagine that), I’d free all my sons!’.
‘I wonder; did the dude who made this thought about how Rika wanted to free herself from her tragic fate ?’ I pondered.

‘Strictly living longevity to the destiny
I thought I’d never see it, but reality struck
Better find out before your time’s out, what the fuck?’

‘I can see this for Rika and how she is desperately trying to find a way to cheat death for good before fate closes in on her.’

All Wild theories; but it made sense (in my head).
I had to let it marinate.

Hanyuu of Higurashi fulfilling her dreams of being an NYC DJ after defeating fate

Even if the mashup creator didn’t mean to make certain lyrics relate to Higurashi, I couldn’t help but reflect. I let the song stop playing and decide to listen to the original version of Nas’s classic. There’s no denying that the beat was soaked in that definitive New York City hip-hop vibe. That electro notes playing up and down the scale. The simple yet deep pulse of the bass. The quiet layered strings.

I craved for more information.

Acting on a gut instinct that the beat for If I Ruled the World was a sample, I went on Google to see if my gut was correct – and it was. Not only was my gut was correct, but the sampled was also from Whodini’s 1984 classic Friends.

‘Friends…
How many of us have them?
Friends…
Ones we can depend on.’

It was like if the universe knew I was searching for a connection for the Higurashi mash up. The overarching theme of Higurashi is the power of friendship and there I was; listening to a classic hip-hop song with the hook asking if we have friends we can depend on.

‘Friends…Ones we can depend on.’
God. That’s powerful.

NDVD_038 — Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake your kindness for bein’ a fool

Satoko depended on her friends to save her from her abusive uncle – including her new friends; who were once her enemies (the villagers who once hated her and her family). Rena realized that no matter what, her friends love her: even if Rena was having a mental breakdown and couldn’t trust the friends she loved. Rika learned that how it was okay to open up to her friends about her depression and fear that Satoko – her best friend – was going to be taken away from her (by said abusive uncle mentioned earlier). Keiichi, like Rena, learned the value of trusting and opening up to his friends.

Was it all a coincidence that I would find a hip-hop song that has a famous hook that could relate to Higurashi? Perhaps. But there was no denying the fact by me researching the source of Nas’s If I Ruled The World sample, it opened an entirely new world of music for me. Sure, I was aware of classic 80s hip-hop legends such as KRS-One, N.W.A, Public Enemy, and Grandmaster Flash, but I never went out of my way to listen to them.

Until then.

At the time, my mind only focused on listening to modern artists who were on the real shit (J. Cole for example) and 90s rappers such as Tupac. I thought I didn’t need to listen to classic rappers; I foolishly believed they were outdated! Nobody, sans OGs (original gangstas) and oldheads, went out their way to listen to the classic MCs. I was ignorant! Stupid even! For years, I allowed myself to miss out on what hip-hop legends of the past had to offer to the art form. My jaded attitude caused me to miss out.

You can even say it was a shame that it took some weeaboo bullshit to get me into the classics.
But, it did.

As I’m finishing up this little insight of my world for you guys, I am reflecting on how hip-hop has a lot in common with not only Higurashi but with anime in general.
Two completely art forms.
Many endless similarities.

Let’s start with Higurashi, of course. Both Higurashi and Hip-Hop share a common birth month: August. In fact, the first Higurashi game, Onikakushi-Hen (lit. Spirited Away By The Demon Chapter) dropped on August 10^th, 2002. The official birthday of hip-hop? August 11^th, 1973. A mere 29 years and a day apart, but it’s amazing on how they have back-to-back birthdays.

Hip-Hop, for generations, has been used as a platform to speak out against government oppression and corruption with hits such as N.W.A.’s Fuck The Police, Public Enemy’s By The Time I Get To Arizona, and Childish Gambino’s This is America. One could say that hip-hop inspires Black Americans to rise up and fight against the oppressive forces that threaten our quality of life.

During the second half of Higurashi (The Answer Arcs), the series switch from a supernatural, psychological thriller tale, to a story of the people of Hinamizawa rising up against the corrupt Japanese government (that was trying to wipe out the town and its people).

When it comes to the realm of anime in general, you can’t tell me there aren’t any hip-hop songs that can be used for anime and the characters and stories that make up this beloved art medium. Listen to Sky’s The Limit by Biggie Smalls: A song about the hustler’s rise to riches and achieving his dreams. After you listen to that go watch Gainax’s classic OVA Otaku no Video: an anime about an otaku becoming a hustler, to a businessman, to the world’s richest man.

Or maybe Tech N9ne’s Pyscho Bitch may persuade you. Listen to it and think about your classic psychotic yandere characters such as Yuno Gasai (The Future Diary), Kotonoha Katsura (School Days), Kaede Fuyou (Shuffle!), and since we’re talking about Higurashi, the series best girl Shion Sonozaki.

To end my tale, let’s go back to my previous question: Would you, after reading all of this, call me crazy for the fact that it took Higurashi no Naku Koro ni – a classic otaku horror series, to get me into hip-hop? I can understand if you say yes. Of course, it is. It shouldn’t even make sense.

But, without that You x If I Ruled The World mash up I discovered nearly ten years ago, I would have gone through life never knowing about timeless artists that paved that path for talented, iconic wordsmiths such as J. Cole, Logic, Tupac, KRS-One, Kendrick Lamar, and many more.

That would have been much, much crazier.

-Yuki The Snowman

P.S.

Somebody on Wiz Khalifa’s team is a fucking weeaboo and sampled Main Theme Ai from the Higurashi anime for him to rap over:

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on October 30, 2018

Freewriting 0

“Real Niggas Do What They Wanna Do. Bitch Niggas Do What They Can Do.” (Freewrite)

I’m a 90s hip-hop fan, with the late Tupac Shakur as one of my favorite rappers from the era. “Staring Through My Rare View” (which the title of this freewrite is from), is my favorite work by the legend, as to me, can describes one own desires of achieving their dreams , goals, and how one yearn to reach their personal level of success by any means.

As stated from an earlier post about my pride and ego, for most my childhood and teen life, I was told I’d never be successful with having a learning disability and being in special education. Overtime I managed to prove the doubters wrong . However, with recent unwanted interactions from a toxic person ()whom I had cut off a year ago) who decided to remind me of my past struggles, my pride and ego has been working overtime to prove yet another doubter wrong to say the least.

This is where the line “Real niggas do what they wanna do” comes to play.

I do not know what’s going on in my head (in combination with my desires), but I have this drive to do whatever the fuck I please in order to reach what I want in life, or at the very least, achieve my own personal short or long terms goals then move forward to the next one. Even with things not going how I want it right now, me starting on this anime blogging (and now “vlogging”) journey at an late age compare to most others, and working full time, I still gonna do whatever I want to gain higher success.

Massive success even.

There’s more from life I want then just doing the same shit everyone else is doing. I wanna new shit rather than doing the same old bullshit from last year. Maybe this what Haruhi Suzumiya probably felt when she realized she can do whatever she pleased on that fateful day of realization watching baseball with her dad (gotta keep this somehow anime related).

So, I’m just going to keep doing me. Do whatever I wanna do in life, and for my passion.

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on June 2, 2017