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25 Days of Blogging 0

25 Days of Blogging Day 14: Discipline: And Why I Should Had Been Focused in My 20s

Hello dear readers and friends,

I’m glad to announce that I’m half-way through  my “25 Days of Blogging”  goal . Constantly writing article after article for the past 14 days or so  been a joy for me as it has instilled much needed discipline for myself as I  churn out written content  nearly each day.

I say “nearly” because for the past two days or so, I’ve been slacking a bit. By now, I should had been up to Day 16, not Day 14.  This is due to working a hectic Holiday schedule at my job.  Christmas is less than a week away. People want to buy gifts for their love ones.  Working at a retail store means most of my time is eaten up by the Holiday work week.  Some days, usually weekends, I am tired and my sleep schedule becomes weird.  I need about 6-9 hours a night for sleep, or I’m going to be drained for the workday instead of alert.

Twenty-year-old me could pull a 11 hour workday followed by banging out an article all night; going to bed at 2am or 3am instead of 9pm or 10pm. Me, at age thirty?  I would hate life if I pulled that knowing I need my rest (or change my diet and reduce time on everything).  Now, that  I think about it, it’s my fault that I’m in this situation.  I always knew I’d hate working for somebody else, even as a youth.

Let’s go back twenty years ago.  Yuki: Age 10.

“So you’re going to play with an orchestra when you grow up?”
“Nah.  I rather be a solo act than work for an orchestra. More freedom for me to travel the world alone.”

Fast forward seven years later. Yuki: Age 17.

“You wanna work for a video game company if you get into game design in college?”
“Nope.  I make my own game company instead after college through networking with others globally.”

Man, young Yuki was smart. Then, due to fears and insecurities, he listened to the wrong people who had his “best” interested in mind.
Translation: I should have gotten the game before letting the game get me.

I felled into the rat race.  Went straight to college over the workforce. Should had entered the workforce and generated income eariler. Even my teacher warned me that it would be better for me to go into the workforce and networking through the workforce, then, either deccing if I wanted to do college to get my degree,  or never go into college and  grow within an industry, then leave it after learning skills. Being the idiot that I was, I listened to my parents over my teacher.  Big “mistake” full of fruitful lessons after college – and I learned the lessons after I had dropped out of college — not at college.

Long story short to be covered in the future: Entered college after high school.  Me, somewhat sheltered naive kid from a Black Christian household  (Pentecostal Christian…yea), discovers weed, drinking, and the party life style of college.  Add to that, discovering anime conventions around this time.  I had no discipline for anything – school included.  Started skipping classes.  Grades slipped.  Got into debt.  Had to pay debts off. Went back to school. “This is it!  I won’t fuck up as last time!” Start fucking up again. Repeat.

Decided to enter the workforce full time three years after that.  I also did school, but took a lighter load of only class a semester (English one semester, audio the second, and Japanese 101 the last). Did much better.  Plus, I cut off all the people who never had my best interest in mind because they were doing the same shit everywhere and weren’t aware of it.  I enjoyed working for a bit, but I was lacking one particular thing: discipline. I could be a good worker when I wanted to, but distractions got in the way. More money meant more “options”.

Instead of saving my money to build what I want (hardware for recording music, a laptop, etc.that would put me on a path of having my own), I spent money on short-term pleasure: smoking weed, alcohol, video  games,  fast food, hanging out with friends, going to conventions.  You name it.  I guess I was making up for “lost” time that I didn’t have in high school (always studying, not being allowed to have a job until I kept my grades up: so no funds for  what I wanted).   Eventually, as I got older, I realized that maybe I should had saved up and done this wild shit later rathe.

At 30, I’ve come to realized that I played myself and betrayed my younger self’s goals of never working for anyone but myself.  I let the game get me, rather than getting game. My lack of discipline  got the best of me. Sure, I needed a job to survive, but what I should had done in my college days was work on myself, build a network with like minded people, and dropped out of college much earlier.

Or never went to college in the first place and entered the work field as soon as graduated high school. If I went into the work force straight out of high school, started business building earlier (due to the lack of distractions) I would be writing this blog post somewhere in Ethiopia chilling in the Motherland, Japan while I’m getting ready to report on Winter Comiket,  England just because, or Los Angeles as a digital nomad traveling the world. Hell, I would have anime conventions fly me out and pay for my hotel rooms as a guest at their convention because they love my analytical blog posts on anime (okay, that’s a bit wishful thinking)

Instead, I’m just now planting the seeds to escape the rat race – seeds that should had been planed back in 2008 – not 2017. But, better late than never as they say.  Some people wake up at age 18. Some, age 27.  However, for all I know, this was supposed to happen. Maybe  I was suppose to fuck up in my 20s so I know what I shouldn’t do in my 30s.

Perhaps the universe wanted me to be aware of shitty people in my 20s that I brought into my life due to my lack of discipline and fears of not being social so I have the information, knowledge, and tools to make sure worse people wouldn’t enter my 30s as I’m business building.  It’s cool, I needed life to kick my ass a couple of times to discipline my mind.  I needed to be careless in my youth so I don’t be as reckless in my later years.  Thankfully, I haven’t done anything to completely fuck my 20s up, so I can take a lot of risks that the average late 20/early 30 something can’t.

Plus, they say your 30s is the true best time of your life – not your 20s.

Until Next Time.

-Yuki The Snowman.

Freewriting 0

FREEWRITE: Bosses and Fearing Nothing

fear nothing

“Rock’s here!  You miss it earlier, he was on a rampage nitpicking every little thing. ” My coworker informs me on our regional manager “Rock” was on  going off on everyone (sans me given I just arrived).

Oh.

“Damn, that bad huh?”  I replied nonchalantly.  I wasn’t concern about “Rock” (name changed cuz I’m not trying to get fired yet), or fearing  his arrival.  I was warned about his visit earlier in the week.  The prior warning gave me time to do my mental training and  job preparations.  Furthermore, I’ve been working both harder and smarter to improve my section and my work ethics (although admittedly I’ve been slacking in some areas).

As fucked up as this sounds, I’m laughing at everyone’s fears (in the inside, of course I would get fired if I did  that externally). At this point, we ‘re informed about Rock’s expectations.  Yea, it’s annoying that dude is in town, but that we expected it.  Adapt or die.

In my time researching (and now owning an actual copy of) the 48 Laws of Power, analyzing the mindset of superiors, being interested on how business are run, and my own desires of being a boss, I figured this out: The only reason why we were trippin’ off Rock’s arrival is because he’s a boss.  Bosses make their worker’s “fear” them. It’s how power works (at times).

Yet, given I’m evolving my own mindset of becoming a boss, and knowing that Rock has to answer to  ahis own bosses despite being a boss, what is there to fear from him?

As long as we’re doing our shit on the daily, and feeling confident in towards our work ethics,  we shouldn’t  worried about this dude.  And on the flip side, he shouldn’t worried if we’re doing what he expect us to do when he come through.  It’s that sense of security; we can put each other’s minds at ease if we perform to our expectations, and beyond.

Hell, I’ve been had this mindset since my second job (working at the Missouri Botanical Garden’s restaurant).  When news of the CEO’s arrival, everyone sans a few cooks and I were in fear.  We both knew what the CEO expected from us, and given that we respected his position of power, I made sure when dude came to our kitchen, and I had it as clean and neat for him.

Plus, my former bosses informed the GMs on my hard work, so my on the line (guard ya rep no matter what ya’ll).  If the CEO would have seen a kitchen a mess, it would not only look bad on me, but my bosses and GMs who told him about my work.  I don’t wanna make people look like liars off my bullshit.

 

I’m not fearful of Rock, but rather respectful of him and his position. As a boss he has to make sure we’re doing our work so he can feel secure about his position.  Because trust me, if he let our bullshit slid, that would be on his head with bosses and that wouldn’ be great on our end.  Plus I interactived with the dude a few times in the past, he seems like he’s chill if he’s not on boss mode, so there’s that.

 

I guess I think differently from my fellow coworkers and the average worker.

 

(I know this is different from my usually writings but I haven’t wrote anything in a while due to my own laziness, and this idea was in my head all day.  Plus, I need to sharpen my writing skills).