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Doki Doki Literature Club 0

Yuki’s Path to Doki Doki Literature Club’s Good Ending – Round 1: Sayori

You know, I truly believe that you can earn your happy ending in life – but only if you work and grind your ass off for it.  Video games (with multiple endings) drive this point home hard.  If you truly want that happy ending, then you have to go through hell to obtain it.  Doki Doki Literature Club is no expectation.  In order to get the game’s true/golden ending, we gotta go through hell first.  Well, okay we already went through hell once.  Let’s do it again.

‘Paradise starts in hell.’
-Tim Grover

To start, I’m going to tackle Sayori’s route first.  There’s a CG I have yet to obtain (at the time of this writing) from her route.   Plus, her cheerful attitude grown on me.  The too pure cinnamon bun thing, ya know?  Also, gonna name myself after my PC (“OWNER) to see if Monika detects that lol.

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I’m still mad at this bullshit.

Let me say this: Thank god for the skip text option.  Because fuck; I ain’t spending another two hours of my life reading all that bullshit in her route.  For some situations, I did read some of her lines and what others have to say about Sayori.  It’s strange: when you consume media for the first time, you do not pick up on the subtle clues the creator(s) hid within the art.  It’s only when you consume and experience it multiple times is when you start to pick up on the things that were once hidden.  Seeing how Sayori wanted to cheer everyone up to hide her depression and pain not only made sense, it was heartbreaking.

Monika mentioned that it was surprising to read Sayori’s poems on the topic of sadness as it was opposite to her normal cheerful personality.  Saying the obvious (Sayori conceals her depression from the club) is stupid so I won’t go into those details.  It does make you think about the people in your lives who are always happy and want to cheer everyone up.

Are they truly happy, or is their happiness a mask to hide their pain to make people not worry about them?

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“I could sleep forever.” That was the first clue.

Skipping through the dialogue I came across one of the two most important choices I need to make for this route: Would I rather walk back home with Sayori or Yuri.  In my original walkthrough, I selected Yuri (personal bias).  That was one of the catalyze that worsen Sayori’s depression.  In retrospect, I can understand how that fucked with Sayori’s head. I am not a mental health expert or anything, but seeing how Sayori reacted to that, I can only guess that she felt that she was a burden to the MC as well as her feeling worthless.  She probably started to overthink the situation and believed MC was pushing her away to hang out with Yuri (or any other club member).  Again, I do not know if that how depression works.

 

If anyone could be kind enough to correct me let me know.

I went with the “I’d still walk with Sayori” option.  I think I’m doing well.  I hope.  The third round of poem writing seems to get harder. The dark and depressing words seem to relate to Yuri more than Sayori, but I still got reactions from Sayori.  I’m starting to think the game knows I’m save scumming lol.    The day after, the club starts to prep for the festival.  Sayori is sitting alone as normal with her head bury in her desk.

At this point, you can sense that her depression is hitting harder as she once again does her façade of trying to make her crew not worry about her.  Perhaps it is because I am more in tune with my emotional/creative side of my brain, but I can’t help but feel bad about her and think about my friends who are battling depression.  Honestly, that shit breaks my heart and I feel helpless when I can’t help my friends feel better about themselves because of how cruel mental health illnesses are.

Maybe that’s why her character has grown on me on this second playthrough. Ha.

You know you’re dedicated to getting a good end when you panic and freak out thinking you fucked up.  When the MC goes to  Sayori house to check up on her, I started to think “Oh shit I made a mistake this is the suicide scene!”.  Then I remember that scene came a little bit later in the game so I still have time to do my save scum shit.  But nah, the first time MC goes over to Sayori’s house, she reveals that she has lifelong depression.

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This could be fate or just by chance, but I had my hip-hop instrumental playlist playing in the background.  The next song in the cycle was 2pac’s Pain from the movie Above The Rim. Fitting.  Sayori dealt with (mental) pain all her life.  We’re now seeing her tell her best friend about it.  There’s a sample from one of the Star Trek movies that are used in Pain.  I think it goes: “‘I couldn’t help but noticed your pain!’” “’My pain?’” “’It runs deep – share it with me!’”

(If I could get away with it, I would make a music mod of DDLC that uses 90s hip-hop music.  Pain would be perfect for Sayori revealing her depression to MC).

‘Why do we die at an early age?
‘Why there’s so much pain?’
‘Tired of the strain and the pain’

Yea.  Those lines work well with DDLC.

For preparations for the festival, I selected Natsuki to help me out .  I have yet to have any interactions with me from my first run through so I thought it would be best to check her shit out.  But since this is a Sayori-centric path, I’m gonna save my notes/thoughts on Natsuki for her path.  I do like Natsuki’s softer side though and she seems mellower than what she puts out on the surface.   Mellow Natsuki best Natsuki.

(I will like to say that the instrumental of Drake’s “Pound Cake” goes well with the baking scene between MC and Natsuki. Yes. Puns were intended.)

Now, finally, I arrived at the single most important point of this path; Telling Sayori if I love her or if I should put her in the friend zone.  In a normal run-through (without a guide), either decision led to Sayori’s suicide.  In that regard, telling Sayori you love her only to have her kill herself the next day hurts harder than simply telling her that she is your best friend.  Pretty fucked honestly.  In any case, I manage to unlock two CGs I needed for this path for the golden ending so I’m gonna dip out.

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Next: Natsuki.

 

Doki Doki Literature Club 0

Yuki’s Doki Literature Club Adventures: Act 4 – Bad Ending (Freewrite)

‘This game will not have a happy ending.’
-Bernkastel, Umineko no Naku Koro ni

Major Spoilers: I lied.  Sayori is the final boss.
Warning: You should already know by now I play this game and write about it drunk.

I was warned that DDLC wouldn’t have a happy ending.  I shouldn’t sweat it too much; given I’m a fan of Umineko no Naku Koro ni: A 07th Expansion visual novel that too didn’t end happily.  The first half of my favorite Fire Emblem game, Fire Emblem 4: Genealogy of the Holy War, also didn’t end well.  And my favorite Persona game, Persona 3, had a depressing ending.  (Jesus fuck, maybe I’m secretly sad that’s why I like downer endings) Did I spoil myself on the bad ending for DDLC?  Yes.  But, I think by spoiling it, it drove me to finish the game (to see how sad and depressing the game ending is).  To tell the truth, I love it when consumer media concludes with a downer ending.  The happy ending thing is played out.  Fuck that happier ever happy shit.

Sometimes, you need a reminder of how brutal and unfair life can be.

 

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The movie been out for almost a month.  Don’t bitch about this spoiler.

 

After killing Monika I restarted the game.  It started as normal, expect Monika isn’t on the title screen.  Yay!  The wicked bitch is dead!  The game resume starting with act 1 like nothing happened expect the recently revived Sayori is now the president….Shes’ gonna be self-aware like Monika, isn’t she?

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In any case, MC  — rather, the player – joins the Literature Club.  Given Sayori’s position on the screen, she is the club’s president.  Yuri is on her left, so I’m assuming she retains her vice-president role.  The BGM is the title screen music.  Ya know, with the piano playing the melody.  Didn’t Monika play the piano?  Hold up…

Sayori gets all happy that the MC has joined her club.  You know, it’s kinda depressing:  Sayori is happy  Everyone is acting normal like they didn’t go through the chaos from Monika. Yet, we the players knew what these girls went through.  We know what is to come.  And there’s nothing we can do about it.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

As the girls celebrate the formation of the club, I couldn’t help but notice how more friendly Natsuki and Yuri are towards each other.  In Act 2 they were at each other throats, belittling one another and judging their hobbies.  In Act 4 however, they seem to respect one another, with Yuri wanting to learn more about manga and Natsuki wanting to learn about novel through Yuri.  What did I say in my Act 2 Part 2 writings?  Natsuki and Yuri could get along and become close friends – best friends even.

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(To tell the truth, I’d love to see a mod or a non-h doujin with  Natsuki and Yuri as they form a powerful bond. Natsuki could help Yuri overcome her fears, become more confident with herself, and fight her bullies. Yuri could help Natsuki learning about the arts.)

As MC and Sayori speak about how fun the club will become, Sayori thanks me (not MC), for getting rid of Monika.  I start to freak out as I’m still drunk from writing my Act 3 shit and the music becomes creepy and distorted.  Doesn’t help that  I’m wearing earbuds that are programmed to be bass boasted.

I made a terrible mistake, haven’t I?

I’m prepping myself for any jump scares or freaky shit so I may become sober as we get deep into this post.  Which probably is a catch 22 because Sayori revealed that she knew Monika did all the horrible things she did to the girls and the player.  She talks about how MCI made her the happiest girl in the world…hold up, didn’t Monika said some shit like this as well?  Please don’t tell me I gotta deal with another murderous nutjob girl who trying to get with the MC. I already had enough of that bullshit for one play through.

 

Sigh…do I have to delete another yandere bitch?   To quote a 90s Nickelodeon co-star “Awww here it goes!”

I’m sure the game knows I don’t wanna go through this bullshit again because the first choice of this act is “No.” Thank you game, I appreciate you.  Sayori’s spelling out “FOREVER” was creeping me the fuck out.   Hold up,  the game isn’t saving me…it’s Monika.

 

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Even this game was like “Yea no let’s not go through any more bullshit.”

 

 

Monika starts to hakai Sayori, the club, and the entire game.   After that, she starts to sing the game’s ending theme and the credits roll.  Apparently, I’m missing a few CG shots (given I have yet to tackle the Natsuki route and I didn’t fucking save scum).  Sigh…fuckin’ bad endings.

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Continued in Yuki’s Revenge Against This Fuckin’ Entry Level VN.