Today I want to share a few of my favorite things.
I must warn you, I am enthusiastic about my loves.
An overt fanatic even.
What are my favorite things you may ask?
Well, I am infatuated with books.
The epic tales of brave, flamboyant heroes overcoming impossible odds.
Unexplainable horrors of the unknown violating your psyche.
Immense, multiple worlds anyone can journey through.
I don’t think about the tales I emerged myself in too much.
I just let the tales lead me.
Characters exhibiting their own unique personality
Mirroring the characters of our own world.
I love to sink into them naturally – exploring the world the author invited me to.
That’s why books are just a few of my favorite things.
Are you still curious about my loves? My favorite things?
I feel comfortable with me telling you about them.
Don’t worry; my loves aren’t too outlandish, hopefully.
What else do I love?
I adore tea.
Black. Green. Herbal.
An abundance of selections for your needs.
Need relaxation? Chamomile.
Want an energy boost? Eary Gray.
Tea for all occasions, for all needs.
That’s why I love tea.
May I tell you one more thing I love?
Oh, but if I do tell, it might drive you away
Scare you even.
But I can’t contain myself – I must tell you!
I love knives.
The alluring danger from their unforgiving sharp edge.
The beauty of the silver blade, irresistible.
I want to resist the urge of touching my skin with them.
But I can’t!
My heart’s beat assaults my chest, my slow breath deepens the blade kisses my skin.
Fresh cuts joining scars from kisses long since passed.
Blood dip, sliding along my skin.
I fill the silence of my room with a blissful, perverted sigh.
Oh! I’m sorry. Was that too much for you?
Perhaps one of my loves was too intense for you after all.
I hope you don’t find me strange or obsessive towards my loves.
I just wanted to share with you
Just a few of my favorite things with you…
Free form poetry isn’t hard. What’s hard is writing that shit for a character you only have a few things in common with. Might do poems focused on Monika and Sayori next I dunno.
Also, i can’t believe I originally played DDLC to make fun of the fans and the game but it inspired me to get back into writing poems lmfao
Angry because he hurt me again
He hit me before school began
I should tell my friend
But she has her own problems
To worry about my problems
So I guess I’ll be angry
Angry because he ate all my food
I ask him why, but he got in a mood
I should tell my friend
Maybe she can make me feel good
But why would she waste her time on me
I should just be quiet and let her be
So I guess I’ll be angry
Angry because he yelled at me
Told me to shut my mouth
Or he’ll shut it for me
I should tell my friend
Maybe if I do,
It will finally end
But I doubt I can
So I guess I’ll be angry
I’m angry because it won’t stop
I’m angry because I’m scared
I’m angry because it hurts
I’m angry because I’m such a coward
So I guess I’ll be angry
This is perhaps the only fan poem I’ll do in my lifetime. Got bored today on my day off and I have nothing better to do but to write this for a DDLC fan group and do weeaboo shit. Maybe I’ll write and share an original poem one day.
Warning: Minor and major spoilers for Act 2. If you read this and get mad at me for spoiling things you ’re stupid. This may or may not had been written under the influence of alcohol.
First off, rest in peace Sayori you was a real one. I’ll save you or download a mod where you don’t die after I’ve completed my first run through.
Actually nah, not really. You can stay dead.
After a crazy day at work I decided to go to the liquor store near my house for another large can of Miller Beer (and some Jim Beam shot bottles), head to a park near my crib, rolled up a blunt, and smoke it while drinking (the beer) to get my mind right for Act 2. After that, I headed home and opened up my DDLC folder. Upon opening it I’m greeted with a file: “hxppy thxughts.png”. For a second, I thought I had downloaded while drunk/high (given I like to download weird fanart and hentai when I’m high/drunk), and place the image in the DDLC folder out of pure laziness. Then I remember that as you process in the game you unlock secret shit.
I booted up a new game. The MC made a wisecrack about some genki girl running down the street with bread in her mouth (replacing Sayori). I kinda laughed since this game does make fun of tired anime and visual novel tropes. However, I did stop laughing once the girl’s sprite started glitching. I was more annoyed than shocked through.
The game continued per normal as Act 1; expect Hanako 2.0 is the Vice President. Monika and Moe Fang Tsundere Otaku Girl (forgot her name) reprised their roles. Actually, I lied. The game doesn’t truly continue as normal. Natsuki started doing that Za Warudo shit off Jojo while Yuri’s sprite and the background went into a Dutch Angle; making me think I was playing one of my early 2000s ero-games. Yuri said something like how it’s amazing a writer can take advantage of your lack of imagination and throw you out of a loop.
Thanks Yuri. I thought it was the weed and beer that made me thought I was seeing things and not the game fucking with my head.
Following that, Yuri said something like how the world is full of evil people and how we all worthless at the end. Cool. After the first round of Poem Writing in act 2, I managed to romance Yuri. I was informed earlier that Yuri is a yandere and that she does some crazy shit with knives. Not something like tying up a little girl to a cross and stabbing her to death crazy shit, but somewhere close.
For some reason (for my notes possibly) I took a screenshot of the game from my FRAPS – or so I thought. I pressed “S” on my keyboard thinking I mapped the screenshot hotkey there. My game froze up for a bit and a message popped up: “Screenshot saved to blah blah blah folder”.
“Hold up, does the game know I’m recording and taking screenshots now?” I started to freak out. Yea, the Sayori suicide thing was a bit fucked up. The glitches and jump scare got me a little bit. But the game knowing I’m taking screenshots? That’s too much man. Then I remember: This game was made with that Ren’py engine. The screenshot key is automatically mapped to S.
This game isn’t fucking with me I’m just drunk.
Anyways, I resumed gameplay as normal. Everyone starts to read their poems. Natsuki and Yuri start to form a beautiful friendship/rivalry/a future yuri hentai scene over their poems by cussing each other out and starting a fight. Natsuki hurls some insults towards Yuri; calling her an edgy bitch and a cutter. Yuri claps back, telling Natsuki that she needs to stop acting cute. Me personally, I’m just waiting for Monika to pull out her phone, start recording, and yelling “World Staaaaarrrrrr!”.
Shit if I was the MC, I would instigate the fight further and egg both girls on until one of them snaps and beat the other girl’s ass.
And it looks like I could actually make them fight. The game made me choose between the Yuri and Natsuki. I went for Yuri of course. But the game was like “Nah”. Then I was like “Fuck you I’m picking best girl Yuri.” Despite my wish to do so, the camera kept zooming in towards the Natsuki choice. I tried a few more times until Monika popped up and was like “Nigga you gonna pick Natsuki.”
Monika steps in between the player and the girls and things chilled out. And by chill out, I guess Yuri made a crack about Natsuki’s dad abusing her – causing Natsuki to burst out in tears and leaving the school. Yuri, you should be proud of yourself for making fun of Natsuki’s suffering. I’m kinda glad you did kill yourself.
Yea, Hanako 2.0 winds up stabbing herself to death at the end of Act 2. I’ll come back to that later though. I wanna talk about on how the fuck Yuri found Dagger of Time from The Prince of Persia. Because I think she’s cutting herself with it.
After the fight scene, Yuri decides to make tea for her and the MC. Lovely. Tea is great. I love tea. I’m always down for some tea. Yuri runs off for some water or some shit. I wasn’t paying attention. The MC notices Yuri hasn’t come back and decides to go after her out of concern.
Yea, I don’t blame dude. Yuri’s both a cutter and a yandere. I’ve seen enough shit tier anime featuring yanderes to know that you shouldn’t trust them with food products. Yuri could have been cutting her wrists to put blood in the tea. But yea, dude catches her cutting herself with her knife. As dude tries to talk to her, the screen gets distorted and time’s reversed. Rather than being spooked, I started laughin’ again.
“Yuri has the Dagger of Time and she cuts herself with it!” I said to myself. Not really, it was just Monika fucking around. She explains how when she gets overly excited she starts cutting herself – and how she may do it for sexual reasons.
Yuri’s fucking weird. This game is fucking weird. Monika is the fucking villain and the game doesn’t hide it well. More in part 2.
But real shit is Monika Machiavellian? She did use power and fear to control the game. She also tricked Sayori and Yuri to kill themselves just so she can get closer to the main character. In addition, she used fear to get her way by fucking with the player’s head AND deleting Sayori before Sayori became self-aware. What ya think?
Warning: Major Act 1 spoilers. Major game spoilers below for certain characters. Don’t read this and then get mad at me because I spoiled shit.
Last week, I decided to download Doki Doki Literature Club (DDLC) after six months of being bombard with memes, spoilers, and discussion across social media about the game. With my friends filling me in on the game’s meta creepiness and horror, I figured it would be smart for me to buy some alcohol, hit up my weedman for some loud, and get my mind right before playing DDLC. In addition, I downloaded some Monika hentai off Danbooru and Rule 34; placing the hentai in the game’s folder. My homeboy told me that she can pull up your internet history. Apparently, she also reveals that she knows that you have porn of her.
If this game gonna fuck with my head, I’m gonna fuck with its head.
After drinking a 32 ounce of cheap ass Miller Beer, a glass wine, and smoking a blunt, I booted up DDLC. The game warned me that I may not have a good time playing it. Of course, the game is wrong because I always have fun tearing overhyped shit apart. Next, I had to give my character a name. First, I went with “RealNigga”; a reflection of me being the realest nigga in the otaku community (a title nobody will ever take from me). However, I changed it to “YourName” just to see if the game picks up on me being a smart ass. Plus, I wanted to see if Monika said something about that (since she knows your PC name and gets angry with you for not stating your “real” name).
The game begins. I’m greeted with the generic happy-go-lucky childhood friend Sayori aka “Hangtime” (and I’m not talking about NBA Hangtime for the Nintendo 64). I decided not to romance her for obvious reasons. Next, the game proceeds to the literature club where I meet the rest of the cast of the game. First, best shy girl Yuri. Yuri is just Hanako and Lily from Katawa Shoujo (who somehow learned how to do the Fusion Dance from Dragon Ball Z). Following Yuri, there’s the low-key otaku Natsuki who’s a tsundere. I hate most tsundere characters, but Natsuki gets a pass due to reasons I’ll explore in a future post (maybe). Finally, Just Monika Lewinsky – the club president and game’s true villain or some shit.
Oh yea spoilers my bad.
With the girls presented this was my gameplan: romance Yuri and Monika at the same time. The other girls can go fuck themselves. Yuri has wisdom and knowledge. I love wisdom and knowledge. Monika has power and influence – two things I want in life. Sayori will become ceiling decoration by the end of act 1. Natsuki (although a good character), doesn’t appeal to me just yet. Moving forward, I did my first poem writing mini-game bullshit thing. Being the crafty man that I am, I selected the words that I knew would get me to Yuri’s Act 1 route.
Look, I have a storied history of liking shy, quiet, weird people who are secretly interesting, smart, sophisticated, what have you. I used to be super shy, weird, and quiet so I relate to those characters heavily.
Plus, purple is my favorite color. Yuri has purple hair and eyes. I am a biased man.
After befriending Yuri I realized that the game must have programmed Sayori to become aware of this relationship. Sayori started saying things like “Would you walk with Yuri back home over me?” and “It won’t be long until you need me anymore, you know.” It worsens when Sayori admitted that she had life-long depression and suicidal thoughts. It was then where I said to myself “Oh fuck…” and realized I made a horrible mistake.
The two glasses of wine, the beer, and the blunt I consumed didn’t help this either.
The next day (in-game), the MC and Yuri did some club project bullshit. Yuri came over to MC’s house to work on club promotion. Yuri (clearly trying to get some dick) gave the MC a sample of her aromatherapy talent. Following that, she shows her knife off to the MC (who winds up cutting himself with it). With Yuri freaking out she decided to put the dude’s finger in her mouth and lick his wound. Then MC returned the favor, licking her finger and she started to blush.
So after that, the two decided to end their day. The MC walked her out of the crib and by pure luck, Sayori catches their asses. Sayori admits she was going to the house to confirm her fears – which were proven right. I dunno what’s worse: The main chick catching you with the side chick coming out of your house, or your female childhood best friend – who you know has a crush on your – seeing you with another girl. I myself never been in either situation. All my female childhood friends are probably dead, racist, or have forgotten about me. And I don’t have the balls to do the main chick/side chick shit. I can’t explain that shit to you.
Either way, pretty sure that worsen Sayori’s depression – which I will learn the hard way.
The next school day, I’m greeted by Monika. She informs me that Sayori hasn’t shown up to school and states that I kinda left her hanging that morning. Monika, that’s fucking dark. Funny. But dark. But real shit I knew what was happening next. I drank another glass of wine to prep myself. Monika gives me Sayori’s final poem to read simply titled Get Out of my Head. I admit the title wasn’t subtle but I was getting scared playing the game. After school, the MC heads over to Sayori’s house.
I’m assuming you’re already hip to the Sayori’s suicide spoilers so fuck the details. If you’re not well you’re goofy for reading this far even with the spoiler warning. Anyway, as the MC was freaking out seeing his homegirl’s hanging body he says something like “This isn’t a game where I can reset and try something different.”
A smirk flashed across my face. I pointed to my laptop’s screen and simply said “Bet.” I made a second save file just in case if the game branches off to a new path (if you attempt to quit or escape Sayori’s room). My plan wasn’t to start over per se but to experiment with the different things you can do with the game. So I saved, quit, and launched the game.
The game starts up, but I’m greeted with glitchy ass music and a gltich image of Monika (replacing Sayori). I couldn’t access my load files. In fact, they were all deleted. “Fuck. Maybe I was supposed to read that entire scene after all.”
That’s what I get for trying to play the metagame against a game that’s programmed to fuck with you using meta.
Doki Doki Literature Club is amazing. Go play it. Just don’t do in under the influence of drugs and alcohol if you’re easily scared. The music sucks tho. Not sorry. Project M died for this.