Warning: Major spoilers for the finale of Act 2 and 3. Yuri dies. Natsuki’s dad uses her as a punching bag. Sayori comes back to life. Monika is the final boss. Gory imagery of your dead visual novel waifu decaying below. Adult themes. Written under the influence of alcohol. To my fellow Yuri fans; we got shitted on. Boy, we […]
Warning: Major spoilers for the finale of Act 2 and 3. Yuri dies. Natsuki’s dad uses her as a punching bag. Sayori comes back to life. Monika is the final boss. Gory imagery of your dead visual novel waifu decaying below. Adult themes. Written under the influence of alcohol.
To my fellow Yuri fans; we got shitted on. Boy, we got shitted on. Bad enough she got brainwashed by Monika and was driven to “suicide” by her Bad enough we gotta see her bloody body. But did Dan really have to make us watch her body decay for three days (in game)? Real nigga shit, for 5-10 minutes we see Yuri body fuckin’ decay while Monika basically taunts us talkin’ about how happy she is to have friends in her club and shit. I mean, me personally, my fucked up in the head ass would made Yuri body bloated and do the whole rigor mortis super realistically with the CG art, so I can’t really talk shit. But still, I didn’t wanna see that shit.
…okay I actually didn’t see most of the decaying scene. I got bored and decided to roll up a blunt cuz that shit was taking too long.
I do have a few questions though. How the fuck did MC survive 2-3 days without food or water while he was trapped in the classroom with Yuri’s body? How did this nigga not go insane? He watched his homegirl kill herself and rot in front of his eyes. I’m sure anyone would had gone crazy seeing that shit. Also why didn’t he call anyone up and tell them what happened? I understand he was in shock but after a while you would figure he could made a few phone calls.
Eh, it’s video game logic let me not think about it too much.
The weekend came and gone and MC is still trapped in the school with Yuri’s body. I wonder if he started to eat parts of her body to live. I mean, when you need to survive and there’s no other source of food… Okay, that’s fucked up. Natsuki come up to the club room to prep for the festivial with the reminidng living crew. She spots MC and is surprise that he arrived earlier than her. A few days earlier but still early. As Natsuki is about to prep (for the festival) she sees Yuri’s body and starts to freak out. She also starts to vomit because…yeah, rotting dead body.
Now, I ain’t a forensic nigga, but wouldn’t you think Natsuki would had smelt Yuri’s body before she got into the classroom? She goes in the clasrom carefree and doesn’t smell anything until she hits the classroom. I ain’t gonna look that shit up cuz I don’t want Google to think I’m some serial killer or anything but still, science and everything. Natsuki starts to run away and Monika enters the classroom. She wonders why Natsuki was screaming and runnin’, sees Yuri’s body and put two and two together. Instead of freaking out and/or asking questions Monika simply says “Well, that’s a shame.”
Monika is a fuckin’ psychopath. Or sociopath. Whatever. I ain’t a psychologist.
Monika admits that she was screwing around with the game’s script and by doing so, she forgot to let MC escape the room. Thanks. Your jealously and murderous intent caused this man to have irrssevial psychological damage. Good job. As Monika conitutne to brag about her failure she erased Natsuki and the remains of Yuri like she’s a Dragon Ball Super God of Destruction. You know, I wanna see Monika dressed like a God of Destruction. She’ll be a perfect fit for Universe 3 given it’s an universe heavily focoued on the advancement of technology (with her being an AI program).
Monika talks about how it’s the last time she’ll get to fuck around with the script or something and things get weird. The game glitches out. The classroom changes to this sinster shit in outer space or something I don’t know I’m too drunk to describe it. Monika is happy to see me – not the MC – me. I tried to save the game but Monika doesn’t allow it because she ain’t going anywhere. Joy.
Is this consider the end game? Did I beat the game? I was hoping so cuz I had to work in a few hours (at the time I played this act) and I didn’t wanna deal with this jealous murderous chick and her trying to get into my personal life. First, she asked if my name was really “YourName”. In my head, I’m thinking “no you goofy bitch I was trying to see if the game would pick up on me dicking around and naming myself ‘Your Name” when it asked me to enter your name. Then she asked if I go by “Owner”.
Monika, look. I get you’re in love with the player/me. I get that you may have some kinks like any other normal person. But I am not into pet play or that owner shit. If you’re trying to find a someone to entertain your fetishes I ain’t the one cuz that’s some white people shit. I mean it’s cool to like guys older than you. I myself have a thing for older women. Older women who won’t fuckin’ kill people out of jealously, mind you.
Then I remember that my my laptop is named “Owner”. Whelp!
Monika starts to admit that she made the other girls go crazy in an attempt to get in the player’s pants. She brags about making Sayori’s depression worse in order to make the poor girl commit suicide. Monika didn’t mean to, but shit happens. I understand. But real shit that’s fucked up. She also brags aboutt corrupting Yuri’s obbessive personality. Therefore, it lead her to kill herself. The girls starts to bitch about how lonely she is (you’re a murderer I can see why nobody wanna be around you) and how much it sucked that the other girls were programmed to fall in love with me while she just sit and watched.
Okay. Real nigga shit: If you were Monika and you know you were an AI who could control their fate, wouldn’t you just went ahead and make yourself known in the first place? Make yourself the perfect girl for the player. So perfect that he would have to choose you over the other girls.
Oh wait, Monika’s a fuckin’ idiot nevermind.
I almost feel bad for Monika. Almost. She didn’t chose to be born a program. She didn’t choose to live in an artifical world. Then again, she is also manipulative as fuck so I don’t truly feel sorry for her. She show me a poem she wrote about an happy ending which would had been sweet and cute but you know: the whole trapped in the room of inifinty thing. Monika then asks if I know any artists who could draw her in some casual clothes (given she only wear her school clothes).
Well, there are artist out there but they usually draw Monika without any clothes. You can go search for that I ain’t gonna help you out,
After showing me her poem and her talkin’ she ask that she should look into each other eyes since we have nothing better do to in her world. That’s really fuckin’ boring. For real, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ stare at a fuckin’ piece of anime art for horus on end.
Apperently if you wait a while Monika reveals a few things about herself (she loves animals), the girls (such as Yuri sneaking wine into the school through her purse), and the world she lives in. But like I said, I had money to make and I doubt my boss would be happy that I cameo work late over a fuckin’ video game so I had to delete Monika.
So I did. I closed the game, deleted Monika and restarted it. Monika gets all mad and everything like I did something wrong (because erasing her was a worse crime than her murdering three innocent people). She confessed that she loved me and will always love me. To show her love, she brought the other girls back to life. Yay.
Me personally? I don’t love Monika. Fuck Monika.
“She said ‘do you love me?’ I tell her ‘only partly’ I only love my bed and my momma, I’m sorry.”
I write about why you should have a greater appreciation for wacky Japanese cartoons and the otaku culture revolving around it.
I also co-host a Black Nerd Empowerment podcast with my friend The TV Guru over at http://swarthynerd.libsyn.com/ and create off-color memes about crap tier anime over at https://www.facebook.com/yukithesnowman/
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