NOTE: This article essay will contain spoilers for the video game Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War. If you are planning to play this game in the future then I HIGHLY recommend going in blind.
Also, for you weirdo cornball hardcore Genealogy of the Holy War fans: For the most part, I’ll be using the modern fan translation names for characters, items, and locations. For in-game quotes, however, I will be using the Reparation 0.78d translation patch script from Serenes Forest. Why? Well because I’m old enough to remember when that patch first came into the community. I’m also old enough to have some fun with both your young aunt and mom while they’re dressed up as Deidre and Tailtiu while I’m recording everything and I got some Marvin Gaye music playing in the background so don’t try me. Plus, I don’t feel like replaying the Project Naga patch for quotes.
Anyway, let’s get to it!
A few months ago, I was watching Projared’s retrospective on Final Fantasy VI. In the introduction, he mentioned that most gamers have that one special game that had made the biggest impact on their life. It is that one single game that shaped us into becoming the person we are today.
A game that we will never forget.
For me, that game is Intelligent System’s Fire Emblem 4: Genealogy of the Holy War, released on May 14th, 1996 for the Super Famicom (the Super Nintendo in the West). Genealogy of the Holy War or FE4 for short is a strategy role-playing game, serving as the fourth installment of the famed Fire Emblem series that is often hated on by pedophilesSuper Smash Bros. fans. Directed, designed, and written by series creator Shouzou Kaga and produced by the late Gunpei Yokoi, the game take place on the continent of Jugdral (which is based on some Norse myths of something, idunno I’m not that much of a nerd).
Jugdral is divided into eight countries. They are The Kingdom of Grannvale, The Kingdom of Verdane, The Kingdom of Agustra, the Munster District, The Kingdom of Thracia, The Republic of Miletos, the Kingdom of Silesse, and the Kingdom of Issach.
Mentioned in Kaga’s designer notes, Judgral exists in the same world as Archanea; the continent in which the events of Fire Emblem: Dark Dragon and Sword of Light (FE1, i.e. the irrelevant Marth’s game)take place. Historically, FE4’s events predate FE1’s by thousands of years.
In the Grann Year 757, barbaric warriors from Issach raise an army to attack the city of Darna: southwest of the Aed Desert. Upon hearing the news, Prince Kurth of Grannvale and his confidant Lord Byran of Chaply set out to investigate.
Taking advantage of the brewing conflict, Verdane builds an army to invade Grannvale. Leading the invasion (on orders of his otherwise pacifist father, King Batu) is Prince Gandolf (and no, not the Gandolf portrayed by legendary fruit booty actor Sir Ian Mckellen, mind you). Gandolf successfully captures Junby Castle; slaughtering most of its knights and civilians. Following that, he proceeds to kidnap Junby’s princess, Aideen to take her as his bride.
Hearing news of his childhood friend’s kidnapping, the main character Sigurd; scion of Chaply and son of Lord Byron, vows to deliver justice to Verdane. Joining up with Sigurd are his loyal knights: Noish; a proper and diligent man, Alec; a playful flirty guy, and Arden; the slow one.
FE4 starts simple. Aideen’s kidnapping can be akin to her fellow yet mainstream Nintendo princess contemporaries Zelda or Peach’s kidnapping in their games and it’s up to the hero to save her.
But that’s where the comparison ends in terms of princesses getting kidnapped and such.
Aideen’s kidnapping and the invasions were two smaller steps of a much larger and insidious plan for one cult – the Lopty Cult – to not only rule the world, but plunge it back into the darkness it once suffered under centuries prior.
It doesn’t just end there.
While the invasions were orchestrated by the Lopty Cult, it must be mentioned that the cult had “help” from an ambitious leader who desired to end bigotry and discrimination by any means. Even if those means include pretending to be an ally for multiple leaders only to set them up for death – and personally murdering Sigurd himself so he can rule Granvelle alone as emperor.
Not so simple, huh?
If you’re like me, you didn’t expect things in FE4 to play out the way they did. Neither you nor I could have predicted that something as innocent as Sigurd marrying Deidre would lead the world to near ruin. Furthermore, Sigurd would face his own personal tragedies in his short life.
Tragedies such as:
Branded as a traitor by his beloved motherland after being framed for the assassination of Prince Kurth.
Forced into fighting his best friend Elidgan to the death.
Hearing news that his little sister Ethlyn and brother-in-law Quan were murdered in an ambush by King Travant of Thracia.
And that’s not even the tip of the iceberg of FE4’s story and how dark it can get.
Genealogy of the Holy War is the darkest entry of the series (don’t listen to those Scared Stones fanboys who claim that game is the darkest; they don’t know what they’re talking about all they know is how to indulge in their necrophilia kink through Orson). The story features controversial themes and topics such as incest, rape, abuse, and children sacrifice.
It’s not a tale of happiness, glory, and triumph.
Even when our heroes are ultimately victorious, the continent of Grannvale has been torn apart by war. Royal families have been split apart due to petty differences or lust for power. The children of these once-grand and proud families are forced to repair their bloodline’s reputation. Smaller nations are either engaged in civil wars or have been completely abandoned by the empire; left at the mercy of savage bandits and thieves.
To quote a gentleman from The Godfather of Harlem: “I’ve learned one thing about war, Bump. Nobody really wins.”
Shouzou Kaga paints war not in black and white, but with spots of gray. While of course there are enemies that the player must defeat leading up to the ultimate big evil, Kaga likes to portray these enemies as heroes in their own right. This shines clearly with certain villains.
Ruthless King Travant of Thracia is viewed by Grannvale as a despicable man who, through the eyes of others, thoroughly disrespects the code of knighthood. He, along with his famed Dragon Knights, is often compared to hyenas: willing to slaughter anyone for cash.
In Chapter 5 of FE4, Travant uses Quan’s 3-year-old daughter, Altena, as a human shield during an ambush attack by Thracia against Quan’s troops. Travant threaten to murder Altena if Quan didn’t surrender his holy lance, the Gae Bulg to him. After killing Quan and his wife Ethlyn, Travant raises Altena as his own daughter: not out of love or guilt, but to use her as a weapon against her own people and surviving family members in the future.
However, if one were to dig deep into Thracia’s situation, one will come to understand Travant’s actions.
Travant’s kingdom, South Thracia, is surrounded by steep mountain ranges that can barely provide resources for its people. For years, Travant requested aid from North Thracia (as North Thracia’s soil and land are heavily enriched with minerals) only to be shot down by Quan and his family. Therefore, South Thracia suffers from systematic poverty.
To combat poverty, men take up mercenary and farming jobs. Women take whatever job they can to provide for their family (they’re selling that poverty monkey on the “Me love you long time” side of the game).
South Thracia’s situation is beyond dire.
While outsiders of South Thracia see Travant as a cutthroat man, his people view him as the liberator who’ll deliver them from poverty. Travant is a patriot who is fed up with his people’s suffering.
Next, Arvis – the ambitious leader who spearheaded most of the game’s events. Arvis’s a tragic man who, as Seliph (son of Sigurd) puts it, “a victim swept by fate”.
At the age of seven, Arvis witnessed his father, Victor, committing suicide. His mother, Cigyun, ran off with another man (Prince Kurth) due to Victor’s womanizing actions (he even raped Cigyun’s favorite maid; impregnating her with Arvis’s half-brother, Azel). From these events, Arvis was forced to ascend the throne at an early age.
Through Cigyun, Arvis is the descendant of Maera: a holy man who had the moral courage to fight against his oppressive kin: The Loptrian Empire. Maera was a good man; however, he had the blood of the demonic god Loptous coursing through his veins.
Now, for those unaware of FE4’s lore (why are you even here?), you may be wondering who’s Loptous and the Loptrian are. Well, let’s go back to how Judgrall is connected to Archena.
Avris (and Maera)’s ancestor, Galle I, was a simple bishop who traveled the world in search of the legendary Earth Dragon tribe. Landing in Archena, Galle would encounter the Earth Dragon, Loptous. In exchange for raw power, Galle would offer his body and soul as a vessel for Loptous.
Later, Galle returned to Judgral; using his new powers to organize a mass army to effortlessly conquer the continent. Galle and his decedents would ruthlessly rule Judgral for two centuries. The Loptrain Empire fell when Galle’s decedent, Galle the Seventeenth was killed by the Twelve Crusaders (ancestors of some of the major heroes and villains of FE4), with the help of Maera: Galle’s younger brother.
Before his death, Maera moved to the Spirit Forest: a secluded forest hidden from the outside world to protect his descendants from harm. He’d issue both a warning and an order to his descendants. The order and warning: they are only allowed to produce one child per generation.
If a generation produced multiple children, it’s possible for the off-springs to engage in incestuous relationships to produce a child with major Lotpous Blood – therefore reviving the dark god himself and returning the world back into the darkness it was once saved from.
Guess who has Lotpous blood in his veins? Yep. Arvis.
If that information were to be leaked, Arvis would be executed regardless if he worshiped Loptous or not. Manfroy, the current leader of the Lotpous Cult, knows this. Therefore, he seeks to take advantage of Arvis’ cursed bloodline and vision of anti-bigotry by blackmailing Arvis; forcing the duke to comply with Manfroy’s wishes (allowing the Lopty Church to operate in the open once Arvis ascends the Grannvale throne among other things).
Everything mentioned up to this point is the reason why Arvis wants to be the champion of all those who’re facing oppression just for who they are. He doesn’t want other people to live in fear because of their ethnic background like him. He wants to end bigotry by any means necessary – something that would eventually become corrupted thanks to Manfroy.
And since we’re on him, let’s talk about the man himself: Manfroy.
Note that Manfroy and the Lopty Sect’s actions are heinous and inexcusable. No amount of unjust suffering and oppression have been done unto them because of their ancestor’s actions gives them pardon for continuing the pattern of death and destruction.
That said, we must understand the reasoning behind the Lopty Sect’s actions. Let’s refer to a scene in Chapter 7 of the game: Crossing The Desert.
Upon capturing the Lopty operated Aed Shrine, Seliph, and his advisor Lewyn, examine a temple underneath the shrine. As they walk around the ruins, Lewyn tells Seliph of how descendants of the Lopty Empire were forced to live within the depths of the Aed Desert after the defeat of Galle the 17th and the fall of the empire; as they feared execution due to their bloodline. He expresses doubts that they differed much from himself and Seliph in terms of life, but over time, the descendants succumbed to the darkness and evil within their hearts.
Seliph replies that it’s like the decedents are being punished for their forefather’s sins. Following, he discovers a prayer for the revival of Lopotusu written on the walls. He’s stunned that the prayer was written by a child.
Levin finishes the conversation by stating, quote,: “You have to be careful when placing labels on good and evil, Seliph. Never waste your anger on individuals. Always focus it on the evil within all of us.”
Personally, Levin’s statement and Seliph’s shock hits hard here. Imagine being oppressed for generations just because of your background. Often told that you deserve to be punished simply because of those who fear what you are capable of due to your genetics. Your oppressors strip you of resources to ensure your people won’t survive. Hopeless, you turn into the darkness within your heart. Maybe if you had a little bit of power, you could get back at your oppressors by any means – even if those means include doing unthinkable things to them and their children.
(You know, maybe Manfory and the Lotpy Church had the right idea with their methods).
Prior to me playing FE4, the villains in the games I played (excluding Final Fantasy VI) were your simply plain and honestly, cartoonish bad guys. Evil guys doing evil things simply because they were evil. Nothing else. Nothing more. The games never drove into why they chose the route of evil and darkness; they just told you that they were the baddies and that you had to defeat them. However, the thing that I love about Genealogy of the Holy War is that Kaga designed and wrote the villains in a way that makes you understand why they were “evil”.
Villains like Manfroy, Travant, and Arvis presented their reasons behind their cruel actions with depth. Reasons that some players could relate to. You might have lived in an area that was stricken by poverty. You saw how people struggled to put something on the table for their families. You know first hand the despair that comes with poverty. You could click with Arvis and Manfroy because you’ve faced systematic oppression just because of your race. If given the power and opportunity, you would do what Manfroy and his crew did to liberate your people and do unimaginable harm to your oppressors just so you can make them suffer like they made you suffer (again, maybe Manfroy and his people were in the right).
Today in gaming, it’s common to have well-written villains with depth beyond them being evil for the sake of evil. It’s almost a requirement in gaming nowadays. However, (to my knowledge), back when FE4 first came out, villains with the depth of the FE4 bad guys weren’t common in gaming. I’m not saying that it was a huge groundbreaking game-changer for the video game industry, but still, it was something different.
Overall, that’s one thing that I love about FE4. However, what other things about the game that I love about it to the point that I’m always talking about it? Find out in part two!
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The Swarthy Nerd Podcast A Black nerd empowerment podcast where Black nerds (well, all nerds, but Black first and foremost) can get together and talk freely about nerd culture while also acknowledging systematic white supremacy and racism in the nerd and Eastern otaku fandoms. Every Tuesday join @superlostfan108 and @weebtrashyuki the founders of http://www.swarthynerd.com for their very informative podcast talking about all things nerdy. No desperate bootlicking self-hating negus who was never accepted by Black normies for being too weird for their love of anime and comic books by the Black community allowed. Go drink bleach.
Disclaimer: This rant was written under the influence of alcohol. Please enjoy!
And if anything I said offends you: Good!
I’m going to be real: When I saw Blerd nerds getting in their feelings and crying about how the new Overwatch hero Ashe, wasn’t a black female, I laughed. Really, I did. I found great joy in seeing Black nerds bitching at Blizzard Entertainment for not featuring a black female hero ever since the game debuted in 2016. I filled my quiet, empty house with vicious, head-splitting cackling as I skimmed through the everlasting rants of Black nerd Twitter’s as they expressed their disappointment in Blizzard.
This does, however, begs the question: why should it be the job of Blizzard (or any other non-black owned media and entertainment company) to represent Black people and to create black characters for us? They’re not entitled to do so. So stop fuckin’ cryin’ and beggin’ them to do so.
I’m ain’t sorry.
Now, don’t get me wrong: Black representation (as long as it’s positive) in media is not only a great thing, but it’s incredibly important for us. This is especially true when it comes to young black children (as children are highly influenced by what they see in media). Black children need positive, heroic black figures and characters to look up to during their developmental stages. But again, this duty shouldn’t lie on the shoulders of non-white owned companies who never will experience the struggles of being Black. They shouldn’t have to carry this burden.
Do you know must carry this burden for Black people? It’s real easy to figure this one out.
This burden must be carried by black people.
There’s no other way around this.
If we Black folks want to see our people in the media, then it’s up to us to gather our creative forces together and build. Build something worthwhile for our people to celebrate and showcase our race in media. We have the tools online to do so. We have social media and blogs/websites builders to spread our art to our community.
Look, we need to stop depending on other races to do the job for us. I get it: Black people are used to being dependant on programs (Section 8, food stamps/E.B.T, welfare, trickle-down economics, etc.), but we — the true originators of Earth — gotta stop that lazy, sit on our asses and wait for bullshit! It’s a huge waste of time.
Do you want to know what happens when we let other races represent us while we sit on our asses? This is what happens. Ready?
They draw us in an offensive manner with overexaggerated racial features:
We’re showcased as criminals:
We’re reduced to tap-dancing, coonin’ servant roles:
Now, do you understand why we must represent our people and not get emotional when others don’t?
If you want black heroes to represent black people in video games (and other forms of media), then do it yourself. You don’t need to wait on white people to give you one. There are thousands and thousands of creative black people who are bringing us black characters in a positive light (such as Black Sands Entertainment with their comic series Kids 2 Kings). We have black people in tech who can code and program. I’m sure they can make a game for you that features a black hero.
For real, Black people can get together with their skills, form their own video game company, and make their own games. And sure, some of you uncreative, section 8 living, single mother having, dusty niggas who ain’t about shit and ain’t gonna do shit with your lives can say “Well, that’s a cop-out! We need to hold these companies accountable for not putting black people in their games”.
I agree with you! It’s a cop-out! We should cop- out from mainstream society and do our own shit rather than wait for somebody to give us something. We don’t need to wait for somebody else to do it for us and cry when they don’t do it.
Crying to these companies don’t produce results.
It only produces useless tears.
Tears that don’t do anything for anyone but for people like me to make fun of you for shedding.
Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to download some Ashe Rule 34 and wish she was real so she could step on me.
Scenario: Let’s say you and another person are deeply in love with each other. You both have unprecedented chemistry. Every little thing that person does never fail to charm you. You can’t help but feel warm and fuzzy around each other.
You guys are inseparable.
One day, however, you’re forced to leave that person – forever. Your family is moving far away. You got a new job in a new state. That college you wanted to get into accepted you. You murdered somebody and now you have to leave your country for another one where your homeland can’t legally remove you from that new country before the police catch you. How would you tell that person and would you do anything within your power to stay with them – just for one more day?
This is the situation for Akira in episode 3 of Hi Score Girl.
Episode 3 starts with Akira losing to an A.I. controlled M. Bison (Vega in Japan and Dictator in the competitive Street Fighter scene). Normally, the gaming genius Akira shouldn’t have any problems fighting against M. Bison (as he took him out with only two buttons from a damaged arcade cabinet), but she’s losing her edge. Even if she’s only commutates through body language, Akira is being eerily quiet.
Harou sees this and assumes that she’s upset because summer break is ending; therefore she won’t have time to spend at the arcades. However, he’s ignorant of the fact that her situation is far worse than a mere end to summer vacation.
In a few days, Akira’s family is moving to Los Angeles, California.
The next day, the duo is invited to hang out with their classmates at a local theme park, which both of them take up on the offer. As the day progress, Akira and Harou decide to ditch them and hang out with each other in the arcade instead. Akira is more than happy to do so, as she wants to spend time with Harou alone.
There’s a part during the arcade scene where Akira spots the light-gun game Space Gun. Harou takes it that she wants to play with her simply nodding yes. He starts to tease her; telling her that she might piss herself because it’s a scary game (given she hates horror-driven media) but she goes with it regardless.
As they play, Harou tries to get Akira to advance the game by having her move her foot off the pedal (as holding down the pedal makes the characters retreat from the enemies). She refuses. Her leg starts to shake. If she moves her feet off the pedal it’ll only lead her closer to their unavoidable separation.
Akira is desperate for time. Harou doesn’t know it, but Akira has feelings for him. Remember: Akira spent her young life as the heir to a rich but brutally strict family. Akira was never allowed to enjoy life as opposed to the average girl who could go out and play with friends. It was only recently when Akira decides to defy her family’s wishes and escape to the arcades to get away from her miserable home life.
Flashing, colorful lights blinding the eyes. Furious adults screaming vicious profane words at each other after defeat. Chocking tobacco smoke poisoning the air. Such a vile place wouldn’t seem right as a safe haven for Akira. But she needed a safe haven to escape the unwanted responsibilities place upon her.
The safe haven where she met Harou: the boy that brought joy to her life.
Akira and Harou continue their journey through the park; traveling through a magic mirror house, riding a roller coaster and a scary ride. At one point, Harou asks Akira if her parents ever took her to a theme park, to which she shook her head no in response.
To say that Akira is a sheltered child is an understatement. To Harou, the trip to the theme park was normal. Every (normal) child has gone to a theme park at least once in their life. But, to Akira, a girl who never experienced the joy of having a normal childhood; this was a new, life-changing event for her.
I’m sure some of you out there may have been sheltered by your parents and can relate to Akira. They forbid you to play outside after a certain time. They didn’t allow peculiar forms of media in the house like anime or rap music. Anime was a tool of Satan so they banned it from your house. Maybe one day, you had enough of their bullshit and decided to go out into the world and do your own thing, just like Akira.
(Akira’s gonna wind up doing hard drugs and drink straight from vodka bottles later in life. That what usually happens to sheltered kids once they get out in the world.)
The more time she gets to spend with Harou means the more time she can live normally. She doesn’t have to worry about her high status, school work and the pain those things brought her. The pain she never asked for. Pain that was mended by Harou’s company, understanding, friendliness. They spent the reminding hours of the day playing until sunset, eventually heading home on a bus with Akira falling asleep and resting her head on Harou’s shoulder.
The sunsets on their summer vacation – and their relationship.
The next day brings in the new school year – and the horrible news. Harou hears about Akira’s family moving away. He’s shocked. It hits him – hard. Rumors start to fly such as “her parents got a divorce” or “they got a new job in America.” Harou refuses to believe he’s hurt about Akira’s sudden move. He tries to play it off by acting happy that his rival is gone. Finally! He can rule his castle (the arcade) in peace; he shouldn’t fear Akira invading it. She’s gone forever!
Deep down, he knows he’s full of shit.
Akira wasn’t any girl that played video games casually. She was a gifted monster who dominated them. Any game she touched she mastered it. Only he was able to come “close” to her skill level – but it simply wasn’t enough. Akira forced yet inspired Harou to improve in Street Fighter II. She never judged him for his gaming passion but encouraged him to get better at it.
They started out as rivals. He was disgusted at the fact that Akira bested him time and time again. He couldn’t stand the fact she was around. However, as time went on, they grew as friends. He respected her. Harou was happy that she was her equal. In his time of reflection (and holding back tears) he became honest with himself:
Harou had feelings for Akira. She touched his heart.
With newfound determination, he runs after her; rushing to the airport to see her one more time. He arrives in time and tries to convince her to stay (as she’ll miss all these new games coming out such as Fatal Fury by SNK). Then, he gives her a good-bye present: The toy ring from the first day they hung out together as friends – not rivals. She rushes to him, breaking down crying. She’ll never see her first friend again.
Her first love.
Continued in Part 3 (because fuck SEO suggestions I’m not making this a 1600 word post also my bad for making this a summary than a reason why this series work)
I hate romantic comedy in any form of media – especially in anime; as most romcom anime are unrealistic and littered with cheap, perverted jokes. From my reviews on My Girlfriend is a Shobitch and Hajimate no Gal, it’s clear I detest this genre. These shows were clearly written by otaku virgins who never had a relationship with the opposite sex and are living out their weird, lonely otaku fantasies through anime. So, when I discovered that J.C. Staff’s latest project, Hi Score Girl, was not only a (loose) history piece of the second arcade boom in Japan, but a romantic comedy as well, I was I amazed by how they show a realistic portray of a relationship blooming and evolving over time.
May I dare say that this romcom anime has even charmed me by how pure the relationship between main characters Akira and Harou is? You take two characters who’re seemly “opposite” of each other but somehow, they click. Akira’s the popular, high-class rich girl who excels in every subject – performance arts included. She’s the type of girl that every boy in school wants to date and every girl wish to be. Harou, however, is “hopeless”. His scholarly performance is a joke. Artistic skills? None. He gets teased often by his peers for his bad grades. He rather wastes his day ruling over at his castle: the local arcade, installing fear in peasants with his mastery in Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (SF2).
Harou believes that Akira is out of his league. Can’t blame him for his wrong line of thinking.
Akira, despite her academic achievements and financial background, loves playing video games. In reality, she’s socially awkward, can’t make friends, doesn’t express herself verbally, and hates that her family controls her life. She visits the arcades often to escape her rigid lifestyle, blow off steam, and be her true self. Funny enough, like Harou, Akira is an SF2 player – except she’s the top player in their scene – as Harou will learn the hard way.
After witnessing Akira’s 30 win-streak performance against other players in SF2 Harou challenges her. He loses to her Zangief – badly. To save his pride, Harou defeats Akira by using Guile’s defensive “Turtle” style and “cheap” throws tactics. Akira gets pissed and starts attacking him; it’s the start of their rivalry that will bloom into friendship and eventually, the two having feelings for one another. During their summer vacation, the two hang out at various arcades, testing their skills against each other and thus deepening their bond.
For Harou, he’s happy he has an equal. For Akira, she’s happy that she finally made a friend.
Right from the start, Hi Score Girl destroys the bullshit idea that opposite attracts we see in romance-based media by having our main characters falling for each other over a mutual interest: competitive video gaming. Let me ask you people who have a mate a question: How did you guys fall for each other? Surely it wasn’t the fact you guys were opposite of each other. It was because you and your mate had things that click with each other and that turned you on towards them. Sure, there are some differences, but overall, you were drawn to them through your similarities (and other factors of course).
Social and scholar level wise, Harou and Akira can’t even compare. Akira shouldn’t be hanging around with a “stupid” kid like Harou. Harou shouldn’t have the chance to be with Akira. Still, they were able to overcome those minor differences. They grew close through their powerful love for competitive gaming, relentless desire to win, and mending their after-school loneliness. Who cares for social status differences when you and your friend vibe over a powerful passion? What’s good are having excellent grades, popularity, and cash flow when you’re lonely and your parents dictate your life?
Those superficial ideas don’t matter when they’re outweighed by shared attractiveness on a deeper level beyond mere opposites.
Continuing from where I left off, I was able to obtain the CGs for Sayori’s route in order to unlock the true ending. Re-playing her route gave me a new insight into her accurate portrayal of people suffering from depression (such as feeling numb, hopelessness, lack of desire, etc.) made me appreciate her character. I want to see more educated takes of characters struggling with mental health in fiction –because done right, it can hit hard.
Since I’ve “completed ” Sayori’s route, I’m going after Natsuki’s next. I haven’t done her route since my first run through, which is perfect given I need to go through her route before replaying Yuri’s. Going through Yuri’s route in Act 1 requires me to witness Sayori’s death scene; therefore ruining my plans to get the game’s true ending.
For cut down on time, any previous read dialogues are being skipped unless I find something interesting and worthy of being talked about.
I like Natsuki. She’s slowly becoming a favorite character of mines. I’ve said this many times, but I hate the tsundere trope in anime – unless a writer puts realism to the trope (as we see with Natsuki). She’s a “tsundere” but her aggressive, angry nature is a resulted of her being physically and emotionally abused by her father. It’s common for victims of child abuse to struggle with anger issues and develop an inferiority complex. Obviously, Natsuki hides her insecure nature (from the abuse) by acting tough and hard-hearted (but of course, she secretly cares about other people and don’t wanna see them down or hurt).
Playing Act 1 again, I couldn’t help but laugh at MC’s awareness of overused anime archetypes as Natsuki did her little “tsundere” bullshit such as “It’s isn’t like I did this for you” and hiding her love for cute things through acting hard and tough. It almost made me forget that DDLC was a psychological horror VN. Almost. With that said, I can’t help but find some parts of my personality in her (as weird as it might sound). There are some things I do enjoy that I’m kinda shy to admit (some moe’ blob anime like Lucky Star, classical music, reading about heart-warming stories , and shedding a tear or two at emotional scenes in anime to name a few).
…that’s as far as my softer side y’all gonna get from me.
The first night of the poem homework for Natsuki went smoothly. And by smoothly, I cheated and save scummed because I accidentally got a few reactons from Yuri and Sayori that completely override my goal to have MC romance Natsuki. Eh. I dunno what cute shit fictional girls like. Or real ones at that. I suck at the romance thing.
After starting over I got MC to interact with Natsuki,. There’s a hint for shadowing/mockery here as Natsuki talks about her favorite manga,“Parfait Girl” MC makes fun of the cover, which offends Natsuki telling him the old adage of never judging a book by its cover and how things may have more layers than it appears. A subtle jab at the true nature of the game.
I can’t help to think how Natsuki’s character mirrors that of the otaku. Otakus are quick to defend their passions – may they be anime, manga, gaming, etc.. Sometimes, they find inspiration in them (such as with Natsuki becoming a baker and a cook from reading her manga) and opening up to those who also share their passion. Natsuki struggles to share her love of manga with her friends. Every attempt has been met with ridicule by them (since they believe she’s still childish for not growing out of her manga phase).
I’m sure you guys had to deal with this in the past (maybe even today as adults for the older people reading this). With nerd culture growing ever popular by the day the stereotype of nerds and anime fans being childish and immature is dying. The stigma is still there, but it wasn’t as bad as it was decades ago.
I was able to have MC make Natsuki fluttered with the poem with him writing something that matches her style. Guess she’s not used to people appreciating and sharing her passion. I know that feeling. Doesn’t excuse her from acting goofy about it but I get it. As Natsuki share her poem with Monika Monika tells MC how Natsuki’s writing style is similar to late author Shel Silverstein: “childish”, but with adult themes and straight to the point by using fewer words than necessary. I like that lowkey. I believe that you can say more by saying less and the more you talk and ramble, the less interesting you are to people.
Make people think about what you say and keep them in wonder by saying less.
Everything goes per normal so let’s skip ahead to Natsuki and Yuri’s fight. Stated in an earlier post (I think, it’s been a while and I don’t feel like searching for it), I went to Yuri because she’s my favorite character and I like her character archetype, but for this one, I went for Natsuki. She gets happy, proud that somebody like her childish, but blunt writing style. Real shit, I get her. It gets annoying when people talk down about your style (without any advice to improve it, mind you). When somebody sees the beauty of your style, it reminds you that it is not bad.
You do get a little egotistical, however.
Following the second poem writing, there’s a funny scene where Natsuki is struggling to get her manga collection from the top shelf of the clubroom’s closet. Natsuki, dealing with her short complex, tries to reach for them but fails. MC tries to help out, but couldn’t, as he was put in an awkward situation – either hold the step ladder that Natsuki had (while innocently looking up her skirt), or let her fall in which she hits head hard against something, crack it open, bleed out and die; thus ending her route and the game . The two fall down and shit scatters, with one of her manga being damaged.
(…okay so she didn’t fall to her death.)
Natsuki gets upset, snaps off on MC, but then starts to cry, saying things like “I’m just having bad day” and “every day, it just gets harder”. Subtle hints to Natsuki’s homelife and being abused by her dad. Of course, you won’t catch it on your first run (unless you read the spoilers). You assume that Natsuki acting childish or overreacting, not knowing that her acting out is a result of her stressful home life. Over time, it’s going to take a toll on any child dealing with abuse.
There was an interesting theory I came across on a DDLC Facebook group months back that not only Natsuki’s dad belittles her for reading manga, it’s possible that he may have destroyed a few from her collections. It’s not uncommon for abusive parents to destroy their children’s personal items. I have friends who during childhood, their parents would break their things as a form of “punishment”.
Natsuki could be hiding her manga at the clubroom to avoid any further damage from her dad. Monika fucking with her collection adding to how horrible her home life is only fueled by Natsuki’s paranoia that she may lose her manga – her way out of reality for a little bit. Really wish Dan did more with Natsuki character. There are layers about her that need to be explored.
Continued in Round 2 Part 2.
(before I go I gotta say some of you Natsuki fans need Jesus)
Yuki’s Note: This is unorganized and I probably got a few things wrong about nerd culture in the mainstream. Whoops.
I love scrolling through my Facebook feed and seeing ads from companies such as Sugoi Shirts and Kaomoji. Seeing their flamboyant Japanese street fashion inspired clothing makes me smile at the expense of my wallet. But who cares as long as it could make me look good. I just wanna rock a fuckin’ shirt with an anime girl with a censor bar across her eyes in public! It just makes me feel good about myself and feeds my ever growing ego. But man, who would imagine vendors online selling stylish and fashionable weeaboo shirts on Facebook?
Nerds have come a long way since the darker days of our passion when we were shamed for simply enjoying our nerd culture. If I were to wear my weeaboo attire 20 years ago, people would mock me. Today? People (for the most part) tend to mind their business. Shit, just the other day, when I went to my local head shop the store clerk saw my shirt and we started talking about Fate series for a few minutes (he thought my sunglasses were something based off Fate). It was a lovely chat until he said that Rin was the worse girl in the Fate series and that Saber was the best.
I ain’t never going back to that headshop.
Anyway, you wanted to catch a superhero movie in full cosplay back in 1996 and you were over the age of 13? You got roasted! Now it’s the norm for people to cosplay as their favorite Marvel or DC superhero at opening night. If there was a nerd in a TV show, they were the laughing stock loser who never get the woman. They never got anywhere. But shows such as Silicon Valley has ended the stereotype that nerds are losers and that their hobbies won’t get them anywhere. I gotta say, this is the golden era of the nerd.
Everything that I’ve mentioned above now leads me to this question: Are nerds trendsetters?
The obvious question is yes, of course. In fact, I even answered the question my self. So leave my page. I want to say that, but I do enjoy going deeper with my theories and exploring them. We (well, I) have come up with the conclusion that nerds are trendsetters. But why? Why are us nerds trendsetters, and how can we take advantage of this before the inevitable nerd bubble breaks and we’re back to being shoved into lockers and having our lunch money stolen by the jocks (well, you weak nerds are getting shoved into the lockers, I’m knocking anyone out who tries to do that to me).
This is my theory:
People were tired of the old shit and wanted something new. Everyone and their moms love reality TV, watching sports, drinking at the local bar, what have you. Meanwhile, the nerds were in the background; creating and working on their passion. We spent our time inside, communicating with our peers, showcasing our talent online. As time went on and technology advance bringing the advent of social media people were started to take notice of the group they once shunned away: The Nerd.
Social media lead the way for nerds to showcase their creative talent (although we’ve been doing this shit years and years before that came along through online forums, blogs, etc.) As more people gain access to the internet, the more nerds were given exposure. Yes, there were TV channels such as the Sci-Fi Channel, Tech TV, and g4, but they were only viewed by their niche target market.
Now? Well, I mean they’re still being watched by their niche market, but the normies are getting into them as well. Oh and g4 is dead. So perhaps that doesn’t count. Shows that were once for nerds with cahs (meaning they could afford internet and cable packages) are available through streaming services such as Hulu, Crunchyroll, Netflix, etc.. The video game industry makes more than the movie industry. Anime is…catching up. It still has a some catching up to do, but with anime (slowly) creeping into the mainstream, I say it won’t be long until anime in the West is treated like film.
It’s funny to think about how nerds are shaping things up. We’re like rockstars (almost). Seriously. Go on YouTube right now and you see that some of the top YouTubers are people talking about video games or streaming themselves playing games. Two decades ago folks would scream at nerds that playing games isn’t a real career. Today? Playing video games and screaming at a game for hours on end is considered a real job. Of course, you have those normies who think that isn’t a real career, but they’re just mad that they’re slaving away at some corporate or labor gig they hate while the nerds they used to bully are making hunder of thousands of dollars playing video games.
So, to anwser my own question: Yes. Nerds are trendsetters.
You know, I truly believe that you can earn your happy ending in life – but only if you work and grind your ass off for it. Video games (with multiple endings) drive this point home hard. If you truly want that happy ending, then you have to go through hell to obtain it. Doki Doki Literature Club is no expectation. In order to get the game’s true/golden ending, we gotta go through hell first. Well, okay we already went through hell once. Let’s do it again.
‘Paradise starts in hell.’ -Tim Grover
To start, I’m going to tackle Sayori’s route first. There’s a CG I have yet to obtain (at the time of this writing) from her route. Plus, her cheerful attitude grown on me. The too pure cinnamon bun thing, ya know? Also, gonna name myself after my PC (“OWNER) to see if Monika detects that lol.
Let me say this: Thank god for the skip text option. Because fuck; I ain’t spending another two hours of my life reading all that bullshit in her route. For some situations, I did read some of her lines and what others have to say about Sayori. It’s strange: when you consume media for the first time, you do not pick up on the subtle clues the creator(s) hid within the art. It’s only when you consume and experience it multiple times is when you start to pick up on the things that were once hidden. Seeing how Sayori wanted to cheer everyone up to hide her depression and pain not only made sense, it was heartbreaking.
Monika mentioned that it was surprising to read Sayori’s poems on the topic of sadness as it was opposite to her normal cheerful personality. Saying the obvious (Sayori conceals her depression from the club) is stupid so I won’t go into those details. It does make you think about the people in your lives who are always happy and want to cheer everyone up.
Are they truly happy, or is their happiness a mask to hide their pain to make people not worry about them?
Skipping through the dialogue I came across one of the two most important choices I need to make for this route: Would I rather walk back home with Sayori or Yuri. In my original walkthrough, I selected Yuri (personal bias). That was one of the catalyze that worsen Sayori’s depression. In retrospect, I can understand how that fucked with Sayori’s head. I am not a mental health expert or anything, but seeing how Sayori reacted to that, I can only guess that she felt that she was a burden to the MC as well as her feeling worthless. She probably started to overthink the situation and believed MC was pushing her away to hang out with Yuri (or any other club member). Again, I do not know if that how depression works.
If anyone could be kind enough to correct me let me know.
I went with the “I’d still walk with Sayori” option. I think I’m doing well. I hope. The third round of poem writing seems to get harder. The dark and depressing words seem to relate to Yuri more than Sayori, but I still got reactions from Sayori. I’m starting to think the game knows I’m save scumming lol. The day after, the club starts to prep for the festival. Sayori is sitting alone as normal with her head bury in her desk.
At this point, you can sense that her depression is hitting harder as she once again does her façade of trying to make her crew not worry about her. Perhaps it is because I am more in tune with my emotional/creative side of my brain, but I can’t help but feel bad about her and think about my friends who are battling depression. Honestly, that shit breaks my heart and I feel helpless when I can’t help my friends feel better about themselves because of how cruel mental health illnesses are.
Maybe that’s why her character has grown on me on this second playthrough. Ha.
You know you’re dedicated to getting a good end when you panic and freak out thinking you fucked up. When the MC goes to Sayori house to check up on her, I started to think “Oh shit I made a mistake this is the suicide scene!”. Then I remember that scene came a little bit later in the game so I still have time to do my save scum shit. But nah, the first time MC goes over to Sayori’s house, she reveals that she has lifelong depression.
This could be fate or just by chance, but I had my hip-hop instrumental playlist playing in the background. The next song in the cycle was 2pac’s Pain from the movie Above The Rim. Fitting. Sayori dealt with (mental) pain all her life. We’re now seeing her tell her best friend about it. There’s a sample from one of the Star Trek movies that are used in Pain. I think it goes: “‘I couldn’t help but noticed your pain!’” “’My pain?’” “’It runs deep – share it with me!’”
(If I could get away with it, I would make a music mod of DDLC that uses 90s hip-hop music. Pain would be perfect for Sayori revealing her depression to MC).
‘Why do we die at an early age?
‘Why there’s so much pain?’
‘Tired of the strain and the pain’
Yea. Those lines work well with DDLC.
For preparations for the festival, I selected Natsuki to help me out . I have yet to have any interactions with me from my first run through so I thought it would be best to check her shit out. But since this is a Sayori-centric path, I’m gonna save my notes/thoughts on Natsuki for her path. I do like Natsuki’s softer side though and she seems mellower than what she puts out on the surface. Mellow Natsuki best Natsuki.
(I will like to say that the instrumental of Drake’s “Pound Cake” goes well with the baking scene between MC and Natsuki. Yes. Puns were intended.)
Now, finally, I arrived at the single most important point of this path; Telling Sayori if I love her or if I should put her in the friend zone. In a normal run-through (without a guide), either decision led to Sayori’s suicide. In that regard, telling Sayori you love her only to have her kill herself the next day hurts harder than simply telling her that she is your best friend. Pretty fucked honestly. In any case, I manage to unlock two CGs I needed for this path for the golden ending so I’m gonna dip out.
Warning: Major spoilers for the finale of Act 2 and 3. Yuri dies. Natsuki’s dad uses her as a punching bag. Sayori comes back to life. Monika is the final boss. Gory imagery of your dead visual novel waifu decaying below. Adult themes. Written under the influence of alcohol.
To my fellow Yuri fans; we got shitted on. Boy, we got shitted on. Bad enough she got brainwashed by Monika and was driven to “suicide” by her Bad enough we gotta see her bloody body. But did Dan really have to make us watch her body decay for three days (in game)? Real nigga shit, for 5-10 minutes we see Yuri body fuckin’ decay while Monika basically taunts us talkin’ about how happy she is to have friends in her club and shit. I mean, me personally, my fucked up in the head ass would made Yuri body bloated and do the whole rigor mortis super realistically with the CG art, so I can’t really talk shit. But still, I didn’t wanna see that shit.
…okay I actually didn’t see most of the decaying scene. I got bored and decided to roll up a blunt cuz that shit was taking too long.
I do have a few questions though. How the fuck did MC survive 2-3 days without food or water while he was trapped in the classroom with Yuri’s body? How did this nigga not go insane? He watched his homegirl kill herself and rot in front of his eyes. I’m sure anyone would had gone crazy seeing that shit. Also why didn’t he call anyone up and tell them what happened? I understand he was in shock but after a while you would figure he could made a few phone calls.
Eh, it’s video game logic let me not think about it too much.
The weekend came and gone and MC is still trapped in the school with Yuri’s body. I wonder if he started to eat parts of her body to live. I mean, when you need to survive and there’s no other source of food… Okay, that’s fucked up. Natsuki come up to the club room to prep for the festivial with the reminidng living crew. She spots MC and is surprise that he arrived earlier than her. A few days earlier but still early. As Natsuki is about to prep (for the festival) she sees Yuri’s body and starts to freak out. She also starts to vomit because…yeah, rotting dead body.
Now, I ain’t a forensic nigga, but wouldn’t you think Natsuki would had smelt Yuri’s body before she got into the classroom? She goes in the clasrom carefree and doesn’t smell anything until she hits the classroom. I ain’t gonna look that shit up cuz I don’t want Google to think I’m some serial killer or anything but still, science and everything. Natsuki starts to run away and Monika enters the classroom. She wonders why Natsuki was screaming and runnin’, sees Yuri’s body and put two and two together. Instead of freaking out and/or asking questions Monika simply says “Well, that’s a shame.”
Monika is a fuckin’ psychopath. Or sociopath. Whatever. I ain’t a psychologist.
Monika admits that she was screwing around with the game’s script and by doing so, she forgot to let MC escape the room. Thanks. Your jealously and murderous intent caused this man to have irrssevial psychological damage. Good job. As Monika conitutne to brag about her failure she erased Natsuki and the remains of Yuri like she’s a Dragon Ball Super God of Destruction. You know, I wanna see Monika dressed like a God of Destruction. She’ll be a perfect fit for Universe 3 given it’s an universe heavily focoued on the advancement of technology (with her being an AI program).
Monika talks about how it’s the last time she’ll get to fuck around with the script or something and things get weird. The game glitches out. The classroom changes to this sinster shit in outer space or something I don’t know I’m too drunk to describe it. Monika is happy to see me – not the MC – me. I tried to save the game but Monika doesn’t allow it because she ain’t going anywhere. Joy.
Is this consider the end game? Did I beat the game? I was hoping so cuz I had to work in a few hours (at the time I played this act) and I didn’t wanna deal with this jealous murderous chick and her trying to get into my personal life. First, she asked if my name was really “YourName”. In my head, I’m thinking “no you goofy bitch I was trying to see if the game would pick up on me dicking around and naming myself ‘Your Name” when it asked me to enter your name. Then she asked if I go by “Owner”.
Monika, look. I get you’re in love with the player/me. I get that you may have some kinks like any other normal person. But I am not into pet play or that owner shit. If you’re trying to find a someone to entertain your fetishes I ain’t the one cuz that’s some white people shit. I mean it’s cool to like guys older than you. I myself have a thing for older women. Older women who won’t fuckin’ kill people out of jealously, mind you.
Then I remember that my my laptop is named “Owner”. Whelp!
Monika starts to admit that she made the other girls go crazy in an attempt to get in the player’s pants. She brags about making Sayori’s depression worse in order to make the poor girl commit suicide. Monika didn’t mean to, but shit happens. I understand. But real shit that’s fucked up. She also brags aboutt corrupting Yuri’s obbessive personality. Therefore, it lead her to kill herself. The girls starts to bitch about how lonely she is (you’re a murderer I can see why nobody wanna be around you) and how much it sucked that the other girls were programmed to fall in love with me while she just sit and watched.
Okay. Real nigga shit: If you were Monika and you know you were an AI who could control their fate, wouldn’t you just went ahead and make yourself known in the first place? Make yourself the perfect girl for the player. So perfect that he would have to choose you over the other girls.
Oh wait, Monika’s a fuckin’ idiot nevermind.
I almost feel bad for Monika. Almost. She didn’t chose to be born a program. She didn’t choose to live in an artifical world. Then again, she is also manipulative as fuck so I don’t truly feel sorry for her. She show me a poem she wrote about an happy ending which would had been sweet and cute but you know: the whole trapped in the room of inifinty thing. Monika then asks if I know any artists who could draw her in some casual clothes (given she only wear her school clothes).
Well, there are artist out there but they usually draw Monika without any clothes. You can go search for that I ain’t gonna help you out,
After showing me her poem and her talkin’ she ask that she should look into each other eyes since we have nothing better do to in her world. That’s really fuckin’ boring. For real, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ stare at a fuckin’ piece of anime art for horus on end.
Apperently if you wait a while Monika reveals a few things about herself (she loves animals), the girls (such as Yuri sneaking wine into the school through her purse), and the world she lives in. But like I said, I had money to make and I doubt my boss would be happy that I cameo work late over a fuckin’ video game so I had to delete Monika.
So I did. I closed the game, deleted Monika and restarted it. Monika gets all mad and everything like I did something wrong (because erasing her was a worse crime than her murdering three innocent people). She confessed that she loved me and will always love me. To show her love, she brought the other girls back to life. Yay.
Me personally? I don’t love Monika. Fuck Monika.
“She said ‘do you love me?’ I tell her ‘only partly’ I only love my bed and my momma, I’m sorry.”
Warning: Major spoilers for Act 2. Gory imagery of your dead, entry-level visual novel waifu below. Adult themes. Written while under the influence of alcohol.
I dunno if I mentioned this yet, but Yuri is my favorite character in DDLC. I can to relate to her issues (overthinking, worrying about what others think about me, etc). I used to find it hard to open myself to others due to my own problems of being bullied for being weird (took me years to overcome this). I can talk about the things I love with strong passion for hours. I get happy when I find people who appreciate me and my work.
Now, with that out of the way, can I say that Yuri is fucking crazy as fuck? Did this bitch forgot to take her meds before coming to school? Why does she need to carry a pocket knife around school for? Why did she felt the need to bring up Natsuki’s abuse; all because she wouldn’t win an argument against her? And if she couldn’t be even lower, she tells Monika to kill herself to reveal her stress.
Bitch got issues.
Today’s Yuki Adventures in DDLC won’t have much substance. Been lackin’ due to work. Therefore, this post is based off my ever fading memories (thanks to alcohol and weed). There won’t be as much excitement as my past DDLC adventure posts.
I left off with Monika telling MC that Yuri likes to cut herself (to deal with her emotions) and that I saw something he shouldn’t see. Now, my thing is this: If Monika knows Yuri cuts herself, why doesn’t she help her friend out? Tell her to seek a therapist or somethin’ fam. Ah well. After that, Monika theorizes that Yuri may be cutting herself for sexual pleasure.
Alright, Yuri is into some things. I remember my homegirl telling me that Yuri is freaky. But I didn’t know she was that freaky. Knifeplay is one thing (since you [usually] have to use a dull knife for such acts – don’t ask how I know I just know). But cutting yourself to get off? Yea, no that’s crazy.
Monika concludes with that I should spend more time with her because she’s sane. Monika, sane people don’t call themselves sane. They especially don’t tell their friends to delete their other friends. Oh yea, Monika wanted me to delete Yuri and that it’ll be a difficult decision. Nah, what’s difficult is dealing with a crazy girl who’s plotting against her friends because she can’t get her crush to fuck her. That, and actually deciding if I wanna delete Yuri just to see if I unlocked a path. Of course, the game has a habit of deleting your saved files (because being annoyed that you lost your files when you need to take notes for your blog is true psychological horror…) so I decided against Monika’s wishes.
Monika rants about how much she cares about the MC/me/whatever I don’t care anymore and how we’re the only real people in the club (lazy foreshadowing). She’s not doing a great job at hiding the fact she’s the villain and wants to kill her digital friends. She may have many talents, but hiding her intentions ain’t one of them.
Yuri pops up and pulls MC to the side to ask him some stupid questions. First, she asks him if he noticed Monika’s recent strange behavior. I wanted to say “Yes, you fucking idiot she’s been plottin’ against all y’all since day 1 she is actin’ strange!” but I doubt she could hear me (despite DDLC’s genius level fourth wall breaking gameplay). But yes Yuri, to answer your question Monika has been acting strangely lately. Next, she asked if she’s not crazy or anything.
Well, Yuri, here some things thing:
1. You did lick and suck the MC’s finger clean of blood (after he cut himself on your knife).
2. You’re into knives. Not only that, you get off to the danger of knives.
3. When you were reading with the MC, you started to breath heavy.
4. You touched yourself to MC’s poem and did things to your own poem that I can’t go into full details because this isn’t an adult WordPress site (more on that later)
5. You made Natsuki cry.
5B. You said that nobody would cry or miss her if Natsuki killed herself.
6. You told Monika to kill herself.
Bitch. You’re fuckin’ crazy.
If I was the MC, I’d tell her she is, but that would run the risk of being stabbed to death by her. Yanderes don’t like being called what they are. As the two talk about how much of a fake, slimy snake Monika is guess who pop up a totally heard MC and Yuri’s conversation (because these two idiots didn’t just go further down the hall away from the club to talk shit)? Monika! Personally, I was hoping Monika would grab Yuri by her hair and start beating the shit outta her (for talking that shit behind her) but I didn’t make the game. Look: if you’re gonna talk shit about somebody, make sure they can’t hear you.
Some shit happen that I don’t remember so let’s pretend something happen between that scene and the next poem review scene. Natsuki comes up to MC with her “poem”. Strange, given she hates the poems I make the MC write (because I’m not a weeaboo like her) but MC accepted anyway. Here, we’re are given a look at Natsuki’s softer side. Instead of a poem, Natsuki gives dude a note about Yuri’s strange behavior. It’s revealed that Natsuki secretly cares for Yuri and it hurts her to see Yuri acting abnormally. She wants to help and befriend Yuri but fears Yuri will snap on her (due to their conflicting history).
I’m not shock by this. Yea, Natsuki is a tsundere and that was tsundere do. However, Natsuki’s concerns for Yuri make sense if you compare the two. They’re relentless about their passions. They’re often misunderstood. They will fight to the bitter end in what they believe in. The two tend to hide their issues from others. They will only reveal their true, softer side to those who they can trust.
I can totally see them being close, if not, best friends.
But they won’t. Because Just Fuckin’ Monika. After Natsuki snitched on herself that she actually cares about people, the game starts glitching madly. The text box is spam with the words “Just Monika” over and over until the game “reset” to the title screen. Then, I’m greeted with more “Just Monika” text.
The game resumed per “normal”. MC gave his poem to Yuri and she reads over. Yuri starts to praise it. She loves it. Loves it so much that she tells MC that she’s gonna take it home and fuck herself while reading it. For real, the fuck is wrong with Yuri? After gushing (probably literally) over MC’s poem, she gives him her poem – which is covered in her blood and what I can only guess is either urine or dried up female ejaculatory fluids. And said poem is endowed it with her scent.
I am pretty sure Yuri may have sexually harassed the MC.
Following that, Monika speaks to MC about spending the weekend with her instead of the other girls. Yuri (obviously) didn’t like that idea and goes off on Monika. Yuri calls the kettle black and accuses Monika of being jealous. Then she asks her if she taking her anger and jealously out on the club because she hates herself and if so, she should kill herself (to benefit her mental health).
Boys and girls, this is why Yuri has no friends.
Once that died down, Natsuki and Monika leave school and Yuri is all alone with the MC. Great. The crazy bitch has the boy she wants all by himself. The yandere with the knife collection is alone with the MC. Again, the crazy ass, nutty ass, yandere ass knife lover is alone with the boy she crushin’ on hardcore. What could go wrong?
Yuri confesses to the MC that she’s in love with him. Clearly. Then she reveals that she stole his pen and fucked herself with it. Okay. That’s creepy, but still ain’t that bad. Next, she was like “You love me too, right? You accept my love?”. I’m presented a choice to tell her if I do or not. I said yes: only because I am a fucking idiot who have a thing for smart, quiet, shy girls. And I also have a thing for anime girls with purple hair. Yuri gets excited. Super excited. So excited that she starts to breathe heavy, laughs, and whips out her knife to stab herself to death.
At was at that moment, I knew, I fucked up. Continued in Act 3.
Warning: Minor and major spoilers for Act 2. If you read this and get mad at me for spoiling things you ’re stupid. This may or may not had been written under the influence of alcohol.
First off, rest in peace Sayori you was a real one. I’ll save you or download a mod where you don’t die after I’ve completed my first run through.
Actually nah, not really. You can stay dead.
After a crazy day at work I decided to go to the liquor store near my house for another large can of Miller Beer (and some Jim Beam shot bottles), head to a park near my crib, rolled up a blunt, and smoke it while drinking (the beer) to get my mind right for Act 2. After that, I headed home and opened up my DDLC folder. Upon opening it I’m greeted with a file: “hxppy thxughts.png”. For a second, I thought I had downloaded while drunk/high (given I like to download weird fanart and hentai when I’m high/drunk), and place the image in the DDLC folder out of pure laziness. Then I remember that as you process in the game you unlock secret shit.
I booted up a new game. The MC made a wisecrack about some genki girl running down the street with bread in her mouth (replacing Sayori). I kinda laughed since this game does make fun of tired anime and visual novel tropes. However, I did stop laughing once the girl’s sprite started glitching. I was more annoyed than shocked through.
The game continued per normal as Act 1; expect Hanako 2.0 is the Vice President. Monika and Moe Fang Tsundere Otaku Girl (forgot her name) reprised their roles. Actually, I lied. The game doesn’t truly continue as normal. Natsuki started doing that Za Warudo shit off Jojo while Yuri’s sprite and the background went into a Dutch Angle; making me think I was playing one of my early 2000s ero-games. Yuri said something like how it’s amazing a writer can take advantage of your lack of imagination and throw you out of a loop.
Thanks Yuri. I thought it was the weed and beer that made me thought I was seeing things and not the game fucking with my head.
Following that, Yuri said something like how the world is full of evil people and how we all worthless at the end. Cool. After the first round of Poem Writing in act 2, I managed to romance Yuri. I was informed earlier that Yuri is a yandere and that she does some crazy shit with knives. Not something like tying up a little girl to a cross and stabbing her to death crazy shit, but somewhere close.
For some reason (for my notes possibly) I took a screenshot of the game from my FRAPS – or so I thought. I pressed “S” on my keyboard thinking I mapped the screenshot hotkey there. My game froze up for a bit and a message popped up: “Screenshot saved to blah blah blah folder”.
“Hold up, does the game know I’m recording and taking screenshots now?” I started to freak out. Yea, the Sayori suicide thing was a bit fucked up. The glitches and jump scare got me a little bit. But the game knowing I’m taking screenshots? That’s too much man. Then I remember: This game was made with that Ren’py engine. The screenshot key is automatically mapped to S.
This game isn’t fucking with me I’m just drunk.
Anyways, I resumed gameplay as normal. Everyone starts to read their poems. Natsuki and Yuri start to form a beautiful friendship/rivalry/a future yuri hentai scene over their poems by cussing each other out and starting a fight. Natsuki hurls some insults towards Yuri; calling her an edgy bitch and a cutter. Yuri claps back, telling Natsuki that she needs to stop acting cute. Me personally, I’m just waiting for Monika to pull out her phone, start recording, and yelling “World Staaaaarrrrrr!”.
Shit if I was the MC, I would instigate the fight further and egg both girls on until one of them snaps and beat the other girl’s ass.
And it looks like I could actually make them fight. The game made me choose between the Yuri and Natsuki. I went for Yuri of course. But the game was like “Nah”. Then I was like “Fuck you I’m picking best girl Yuri.” Despite my wish to do so, the camera kept zooming in towards the Natsuki choice. I tried a few more times until Monika popped up and was like “Nigga you gonna pick Natsuki.”
Monika steps in between the player and the girls and things chilled out. And by chill out, I guess Yuri made a crack about Natsuki’s dad abusing her – causing Natsuki to burst out in tears and leaving the school. Yuri, you should be proud of yourself for making fun of Natsuki’s suffering. I’m kinda glad you did kill yourself.
Yea, Hanako 2.0 winds up stabbing herself to death at the end of Act 2. I’ll come back to that later though. I wanna talk about on how the fuck Yuri found Dagger of Time from The Prince of Persia. Because I think she’s cutting herself with it.
After the fight scene, Yuri decides to make tea for her and the MC. Lovely. Tea is great. I love tea. I’m always down for some tea. Yuri runs off for some water or some shit. I wasn’t paying attention. The MC notices Yuri hasn’t come back and decides to go after her out of concern.
Yea, I don’t blame dude. Yuri’s both a cutter and a yandere. I’ve seen enough shit tier anime featuring yanderes to know that you shouldn’t trust them with food products. Yuri could have been cutting her wrists to put blood in the tea. But yea, dude catches her cutting herself with her knife. As dude tries to talk to her, the screen gets distorted and time’s reversed. Rather than being spooked, I started laughin’ again.
“Yuri has the Dagger of Time and she cuts herself with it!” I said to myself. Not really, it was just Monika fucking around. She explains how when she gets overly excited she starts cutting herself – and how she may do it for sexual reasons.
Yuri’s fucking weird. This game is fucking weird. Monika is the fucking villain and the game doesn’t hide it well. More in part 2.
Warning: Major Act 1 spoilers. Major game spoilers below for certain characters. Don’t read this and then get mad at me because I spoiled shit.
Last week, I decided to download Doki Doki Literature Club (DDLC) after six months of being bombard with memes, spoilers, and discussion across social media about the game. With my friends filling me in on the game’s meta creepiness and horror, I figured it would be smart for me to buy some alcohol, hit up my weedman for some loud, and get my mind right before playing DDLC. In addition, I downloaded some Monika hentai off Danbooru and Rule 34; placing the hentai in the game’s folder. My homeboy told me that she can pull up your internet history. Apparently, she also reveals that she knows that you have porn of her.
If this game gonna fuck with my head, I’m gonna fuck with its head.
After drinking a 32 ounce of cheap ass Miller Beer, a glass wine, and smoking a blunt, I booted up DDLC. The game warned me that I may not have a good time playing it. Of course, the game is wrong because I always have fun tearing overhyped shit apart. Next, I had to give my character a name. First, I went with “RealNigga”; a reflection of me being the realest nigga in the otaku community (a title nobody will ever take from me). However, I changed it to “YourName” just to see if the game picks up on me being a smart ass. Plus, I wanted to see if Monika said something about that (since she knows your PC name and gets angry with you for not stating your “real” name).
The game begins. I’m greeted with the generic happy-go-lucky childhood friend Sayori aka “Hangtime” (and I’m not talking about NBA Hangtime for the Nintendo 64). I decided not to romance her for obvious reasons. Next, the game proceeds to the literature club where I meet the rest of the cast of the game. First, best shy girl Yuri. Yuri is just Hanako and Lily from Katawa Shoujo (who somehow learned how to do the Fusion Dance from Dragon Ball Z). Following Yuri, there’s the low-key otaku Natsuki who’s a tsundere. I hate most tsundere characters, but Natsuki gets a pass due to reasons I’ll explore in a future post (maybe). Finally, Just Monika Lewinsky – the club president and game’s true villain or some shit.
Oh yea spoilers my bad.
With the girls presented this was my gameplan: romance Yuri and Monika at the same time. The other girls can go fuck themselves. Yuri has wisdom and knowledge. I love wisdom and knowledge. Monika has power and influence – two things I want in life. Sayori will become ceiling decoration by the end of act 1. Natsuki (although a good character), doesn’t appeal to me just yet. Moving forward, I did my first poem writing mini-game bullshit thing. Being the crafty man that I am, I selected the words that I knew would get me to Yuri’s Act 1 route.
Look, I have a storied history of liking shy, quiet, weird people who are secretly interesting, smart, sophisticated, what have you. I used to be super shy, weird, and quiet so I relate to those characters heavily.
Plus, purple is my favorite color. Yuri has purple hair and eyes. I am a biased man.
After befriending Yuri I realized that the game must have programmed Sayori to become aware of this relationship. Sayori started saying things like “Would you walk with Yuri back home over me?” and “It won’t be long until you need me anymore, you know.” It worsens when Sayori admitted that she had life-long depression and suicidal thoughts. It was then where I said to myself “Oh fuck…” and realized I made a horrible mistake.
The two glasses of wine, the beer, and the blunt I consumed didn’t help this either.
The next day (in-game), the MC and Yuri did some club project bullshit. Yuri came over to MC’s house to work on club promotion. Yuri (clearly trying to get some dick) gave the MC a sample of her aromatherapy talent. Following that, she shows her knife off to the MC (who winds up cutting himself with it). With Yuri freaking out she decided to put the dude’s finger in her mouth and lick his wound. Then MC returned the favor, licking her finger and she started to blush.
So after that, the two decided to end their day. The MC walked her out of the crib and by pure luck, Sayori catches their asses. Sayori admits she was going to the house to confirm her fears – which were proven right. I dunno what’s worse: The main chick catching you with the side chick coming out of your house, or your female childhood best friend – who you know has a crush on your – seeing you with another girl. I myself never been in either situation. All my female childhood friends are probably dead, racist, or have forgotten about me. And I don’t have the balls to do the main chick/side chick shit. I can’t explain that shit to you.
Either way, pretty sure that worsen Sayori’s depression – which I will learn the hard way.
The next school day, I’m greeted by Monika. She informs me that Sayori hasn’t shown up to school and states that I kinda left her hanging that morning. Monika, that’s fucking dark. Funny. But dark. But real shit I knew what was happening next. I drank another glass of wine to prep myself. Monika gives me Sayori’s final poem to read simply titled Get Out of my Head. I admit the title wasn’t subtle but I was getting scared playing the game. After school, the MC heads over to Sayori’s house.
I’m assuming you’re already hip to the Sayori’s suicide spoilers so fuck the details. If you’re not well you’re goofy for reading this far even with the spoiler warning. Anyway, as the MC was freaking out seeing his homegirl’s hanging body he says something like “This isn’t a game where I can reset and try something different.”
A smirk flashed across my face. I pointed to my laptop’s screen and simply said “Bet.” I made a second save file just in case if the game branches off to a new path (if you attempt to quit or escape Sayori’s room). My plan wasn’t to start over per se but to experiment with the different things you can do with the game. So I saved, quit, and launched the game.
The game starts up, but I’m greeted with glitchy ass music and a gltich image of Monika (replacing Sayori). I couldn’t access my load files. In fact, they were all deleted. “Fuck. Maybe I was supposed to read that entire scene after all.”
That’s what I get for trying to play the metagame against a game that’s programmed to fuck with you using meta.
Doki Doki Literature Club is amazing. Go play it. Just don’t do in under the influence of drugs and alcohol if you’re easily scared. The music sucks tho. Not sorry. Project M died for this.
Touhou Emblem 4: Emblem of the East is my rebalance patch of the hacking group FE4 Binary’s original Fire Emblem 4 Remodel hack “Touhou Emblem: Genealogy of the East”. Touhou Emblem Emblem of the East features classic characters of the PC doujin game Team Shanghai Alice such as Reimu Hakurei, Fujiwara no Mokou Remilia Scarlet, and Yukari Takeba in the world Fire Emblem 4!
This patch aims to fix the balancing issues found in Touhou Emblem 4 (such as overpowered unit and classes, limiting holy blood, nerfing and buffing certain weapons, etc.)
Plan Release Date: April 20th, 2018 (27th anniversary of the Fire Emblem series)
Katawa Shoujo is an old game. Great game, but it’s old. As with most old games, people rarely speak about it as time passes (sans hardcore fans). The hardcore fans it alive through discussion groups on Facebook. Browsing through the Katawa Shoujo Fan Club Facebook group, I found a fanart/fake screenshot of Misha parodying some shit off Doki Doki Literature Club. The parody reference the infamous “Comfort Misha” scene with the whole ordeal of one of the Doki Doki girls catching you trying to play another girl’s route.
Reading the comments, people were reflecting on how they did not realize that comforting Misha meant that she was trying to sleep with Hisao. Such a choice they regretted (since it led them to Shizune’s bad ending). I’m not even gonna lie to y’all: I was laughing at how their ignorance and borderline stupidity.
Let’s be real: Misha came up to Hisao’s room late at night – knowing full well that he’s her best friend’s (Shizune) boyfriend. That’s already suspicious. Next, no woman is going to come up to a man’s house or dorm or whatever late at night just to “talk”. Why couldn’t Misha wait until the next morning to talk, but whatever. So, after Misha went up to Hisao’s room, she had the nerve lie up in his bed (while he was in it), get real close to him, kiss him and bury her head in his chest.
Yep. She just wanted to “talk”.
At this point, you’ll say some shit like “Yeah no, ‘comfort Misha’ means sleep with her”. I know I was. I was like “Yea, this bitch trying to get some dick from Hisao”. There’s no way you couldn’t figure that out. I can understand if English isn’t your second language and you don’t understand subtle clues in that language. But for those who can understand English with all of its subtle hints in the language, how did you miss all of this? Even if you were never been in a friendly relationship with a woman prior to Katawa Shoujo, Misha’s action should have set off some red flags.
You’re pretty clueless. I’m not sorry.
Now, with that said, if you chose “Comfort Misha” as your first choice knowing full well it meant having sex with her, you’re the type of person that cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriend with their best friend.
(Also don’t blame Hisao for stickin his dick in Misha. You were the one who selected that option.)
From my last article, I stated how nerd culture has reached popularity that rivals mainstream culture. Years ago, anything nerdy was deemed pathetic – activities that only people with no lives enjoy. Today, it’s going through a renaissance. Superhero/comic movies are now major blockbusters. Video games are treated as a serious art form. Anime is no longer viewed as a joke (for the most part). Yet, despite those achievements, there are bitter nerds angry with the newfound popularity (of nerd culture). They’re upset at the past (as they were bullied for being nerds, weren’t accepted, etc.) They continue to cry about whatever happened to them in high school. Can I say something? If you’re this type of nerd, you need to get the fuck over it.
High school is over. Nobody (but you) gives a shit.
The past is the past; let that shit go. You need to stop being mad at your peers from high school just because they rejected you (for being a nerd). The popular preppy girl who wouldn’t dare date you because you played Pokemon? She’s now fat, have five unruly children from three baby daddies, and she’s working at a dead end job. She’s hopeless. The asshole who called you lame because you wanted to study rather than hitting up the weekend party? I bet you he ain’t doing shit with his life today. He’s strung out on drugs and begging people for money on the streets.
You, my friend? You’re doing well (I hope). You’re working on your goals, dreams, making money, and life-changing moves for the better. There’s a special somebody in your life that appreciate your nerdiness. You changed your wardrobe and rocking the fresher clothes of the season; clothes your bullies never imagine you wearing years after high school.
You changed, just like trends and the people who may have made fun of you.
Here’s what you need to understand. The bullies and assholes that made fun of you could’ve changed after high school. They could have realized that they were horrible to you and others. Perhaps one day they reflected on their hurtful actions of the past, realized what they have done, and made the effort to never repeat that shit again. Teenagers are pricks. They should know better, but it takes a while for people to grow and self-improve for the future.
People need to change for the future.
Let’s talk about the future. We’re living in the golden age (of nerd pop culture). Superhero movies are bringing studios hundreds of millions of dollars (the good ones of course). Adults are playing on their 3DS in the open without normies talking shit about them. Otaku are expressing their love for the anime medium without fear of ridicule. You can talk about the latest episode of Dragon Ball Super or My Hero Academia with your coworkers. Cosplay is getting the respect it deserves. Everything nerdy is slowly becoming accepted and not made as a joke to belittle the people that love it! I can bet money that in a few years, people will no longer be mocked or bullied for liking anime, video games, comics, etc. It’ll be too deep within the mainstream for anyone to go out their way to bully people over those things. So what if there are some norimes who think that shit is lame? Fuck them! Let them be stuck the past with that old mindset.
You gotta love bitter nerds. Ever since the emergence of nerd culture in mainstream culture, pathetic, dusty nerds have come out with their sob stories on women rejecting them (for being nerdy). You may have come across such stores like “Anime was the reason why women never like me” or “Now that comic books are popular ya wanna join the hype train but ya weren’t down with me back in high school!” If these sob stories describe your experience with women, then you need to hear the truth. You weren’t rejected because you like anime or video games. You got rejected because of you and you alone. Blaming your nerd hobbies only mean that you don’t have the courage to admit that you suck.
Let me explain why – because you losers need a wakeup call.
I know it’s hard to admit fault (for your rejection), but hear me out. The rejections happened because of your flaws. You’re a boring ass person lacking charisma. The girl you wanted like men who can wow her with their confidence and social skills – which you clearly lacked. Who wants a relationship with a man whose personality is that of the mundane Yuki Nagato off The Melancholy Haruhi Suzumiya combined with the unbearable stoic Obi-Wan from Star Wars Episode 1.
Next, your horrid appearance landed you that denial. You fucking stink. You smell like pure unwashed swamp ass. The last time you took a bath or put on deodorant was when Half-Life 3 came out. Your crusty dry lips are begging you to apply Carmex on them. You’re out here sporting disastrous, greasy unkempt hair. That doesn’t make you look cute. It makes you look like the three-way fusion of Post Malone, Digibro, and Mick Foley/Mankind. And that’s pretty nasty my man (no disrespect to the greats Digibro and Mick Foley). And your fashion sense boy! Did you really think rockin’ a fedora, a button down Dragon Ball Z shirt, and New Balance shoes was gonna get you some women?
How dense are you?
Enough your shit tier looks. Let’s talk your blame game. That shit’s weak. Yes, people are shallow and won’t date you over hobbies. That’s okay. I doubt you would date a normie girl with normie interests. With that said, wasting your life playing video games, jackin’ off to ero anime, and reading slice-of-life manga all day long as hobbies are turn-offs to some. Honestly, that’s boring. Nobody wants to hang around with a boring person like you. Find other things to enjoy, like watching live-action television, going out to the movies, reading things that aren’t manga.
Liking nerdy interests alone doesn’t make you special: It makes you uninteresting.
Gotta love bitter nerds. I mean, really. You can’t help but laugh at them for blaming their hobbies and others for their shortcomings. Are you amazed at how they can’t see their own faults and improve on them? Because I am. Look, if you are a nerd who does these things, you need to work on yourself and stop playing the blame game. Take a shower. Have confidence in yourself. Go update your fashion game. Indulge in cool shit other than nerdy shit.