pride – Yuki The Snowman

Life 0

Never Apologize For Being You.

‘I can never throw away who I am!’
-Vegeta, Dragon Ball Super

You should never apologize for being yourself. Even if people don’t get who you are as a person, you still need to be and do you. Somebody demands that you apologize for your quirky passions? Fuck them! Somebody thinks you’re too egotistical? Don’t feel bad. That person suffers from low self-esteem and loves to hate on anyone who has pride in themselves.

Never say sorry to them because you never allowed society to control who you should be.

People who get on the cases of other people (because they accepted who they are) are cowardly, beta losers who’ve allowed society to hammer them down and stripped them of their pride and confidence. When these lowly, insecure nobodies see people being comfortable with themselves and living a bold, grand life, they only see a reflection of what they could have been in their below average life.

Unlike the prideful champs of the world, they followed the rules of society and lost their true self.

At the time of this writing, I received a YouTube video notification from the luxury and wealth website, Alux. Alux dropped a new video for their Sunday Motivation Video series: 15 Things You Should NEVER Apologize For. I didn’t even start the video and a huge smile came across my face.

I needed this video due to recent events.

Last week, I was assaulted and battered for my views on money and wealth. Don’t worry beloved readers; it wasn’t physical, so I suffered no damaged. The assault came in the form of whiny liberal crybabies armed with their smartphones, keyboards, and Twitter fingers. Crybabies who are sick and tired of being broke and struggling, but won’t take action to cure their sickness.

I decided to share a post from a leftist Facebook page on how if we’re gonna eat the rich, we should also eat pop-stars like Beyoncé. Because, to them, it’s unfair that Beyoncé makes $30,000,000 a show while hardworking normal people get scraps (not her fault lol).

I offered a solution to their problem: Instead of worrying about and hating on how other people are building wealth, transmute that hateful energy towards something you’re great at and make money that way. Hating on somebody else’s livelihood isn’t going to stop their cashflow nor decrease their income.

I was viciously ripped apart by those dogs.
But – to be honest – I love it when I make hit dogs holler.

says_a_man_who_gave_up_on_blogging_cuz_it_wasnt_Making_him_money_but_bet.png — My business? This blog. Which is live, off the ground, active, and making me money. Then again, when you gave up on blogging and any other businesses after you put little effort to build them (because you wanna copy others and not do your own shit), you tend to be critical towards others working on their passion (Yes, I am a petty man. Tit for tat.)

At this point in my life, I’m used to being attack for being myself. As a Black man who happens to be a passionate nerd, receiving criticism for my lifestyle isn’t new at all. Uncultured, uneducated niggas think they can shame you because you want to educate yourself and rise above the destructive street culture that takes the lives of thousands of young black men each year (thanks systematic white supremacy for trapping and setting up the black community).

There are black men and women who are nerds, weeaboos, and geeks of course. So finding common grounds with them should be simple. Sadly, most Black nerds tend to be coonin’ ass, tap-dancin’, self-hatin’ Uncle Toms, Bed Bucks, and Bed Wenches. If you don’t get down with their little get down (trash talking other black people and kissing white nerds’ asses) they will ostracize you from their dusty nigga nerd groups. To them, you’re not a “real” black nerd if you listen to mainstream hip-hop, wear stylish and timeless clothes, and speak out against racism.

I wish I was making all of this up.

Finally, you have racist white nerds (obviously) trying to hurt you and bring you down for being a black nerd with confidence. If you’re not a buck-dancing coonin’ nigga nerd kissing their white asses, act like “other black people” (whatever that means), and you actually have a backbone/pair of balls to stand up to their bullshit (unlike a lot of you black nerds), they will attack you with extreme prejudice. And racism.

You, a black man, fucked that Asian Reimu Hakurei off the popular anime series Touhou cosplayer that they were eyeing at an anime convention? Best believe they will call you a nigger with a hard “r” (not to your face obviously they do it on their weeaboo Facebook groups).

Decided to cosplay outside your race and are cosplaying trash girl Aqua from Konosuba? You will get harassed by white nerds who demand that you cosplay somebody black; because they think your Black skin is ruining their precious 2D white/Asian waifu (again, these are the same people who think cosplay is for everyone).

You have to do you and accept yourself despite the heat.
Never apologize for it.

These vicious attacks against your character can even come from your friends, family or close associates. People who you thought you could lean on for moral support and had your back. It can leave you heartbroken.

But you gotta keep doing you.

Years ago, I was heavily into the Shin Megami Tensei/Persona series. Obsessed even. I made a name for myself through the SMT/Persona communities on Facebook and had a rather successful live blogging of my Persona 3 and Persona 4 adventures on tumblr (before I left tumblr due to the entitled, white crybabies; whining about life ruining the website).

Great times.

One day, while I was kicking it with a few friends, a friend of mine decided that I needed a weeaboo intervention; because my passion for otaku culture and Persona was too much (for his weak mind who lacked passion for things). He ranted about how Persona is an old series that he got into back in high school, how it was never going to reach mainstream popularity (what is that phrase that people use for stupid comments and statements? Lmfao), that I got into the series way too late for anyone to discuss about it (again, laughing my fucking ass off) and that I need to move on.

I simply smiled, nodded, and told him to fuck off.

What he was actually saying (i.e. projecting onto me) is that he wished he had the discipline and dedication to work on a live blog, that he could love something with grit (to deal with critical people that don’t get it), was passionate about had the balls and courage to speak on something that wasn’t popular, and that he wishes he could do the things I am doing. That’s what people like that do: worry about what others are doing with their lives (because there’s something going on in their lives they have yet to control).

A few years later (as recently as the second weekend of October of this year), I had yet another friend thought that he could try and pull that same shit with me.

I was chilling at a local convention (Archon St. Louis) drunkenly cosplaying as Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club (genderswap, of course, I am not fuckin’ wearing a skirt as a man like every other male does when cosplaying as a school girl character). The friend (drunkenly) came up to me and started saying how he blocked anything Doki Doki Literature Club related because I spoke about the game on my Facebook and Instagram pages “too much”.

I wanted to go off on him (as I tend to do with people when I’m heavily intoxicated), but I remember a small little victory I have over him. It’s just a small, minor victory from but it’s nothing major at all:

See kids, when you’re yourself and don’t apologize for it, people (in time) will notice, show their appreciation, and respect you. It’s going to take time. A long time. But it does and will happen (but only if you work smart and hard for it). Right then and there, I could have pulled that fanart up on my phone and told him to shut his ass up and walked away. But I rather have him discover that image by himself than to look like a (complete) asshole to the eyes of the general convention public.

I – thanks to me subtly not giving a fuck about the opinions of others – have fanart of my cosplay.
He doesn’t.

(Now if I can gain massive success and make millions off this passion over time, that will be perfect)

This is why I have Vegeta’s image for the feature image and his now famous quote from his battle against Jiren from Dragon Ball Super at the start of this article.

It’s a powerful line. Vegeta’s pride as a Saiyan warrior was questioned and provoked by Jiren. Pride disregarded by Jiren as mere arrogance. But, to Vegeta, his arrogance is who he is: A proud warrior who loves his race. A man who suffered and made sacrifices to reach greatness.

I’m sure many of you guys reading this have been called egotistical and arrogant for being yourself, prideful, and having high levels of confidence. People told you that you’re full of yourself? Good. People who say that to you (to discourage you from following your path) aren’t full of themselves and pride. You know what they’re full of?

Full of self-doubt. Full of self-hatred. Full of low self-esteem. Full of envy.
They threw themselves away and gave up on their desires.

To those who are like that, can I you guys a few questions? What is your thought process when dealing with people who haven’t thrown themselves away and take pride in who they are? Why do you feel the need to attack their pride and ego? Did something happen to you along the way for you to give up on being yourself? Why do you find joy in attacking those with high confidence?

While you losers apologizing for being yourself on Pity Party Drive, us winners are over here celebrating on Victory Road who we are.

-Yuki The Snowman

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By Yuki The Snowman Posted on October 23, 2018

Raw and Unedited 2

Closing My Eyes Until I’m 29 (Freewrite)

(WARNING: The following post contains my raw, unedited thoughts. Therefore, you may encounter spelling and grammar errors. Plus, I don’t feel like editing a free foam writing post).

The past month or so has been chaotic for my creative pride. With being active in writing, getting my side hustle off the ground, and planning out content for my YouTube channel, my ego has gone into overdrive. I’ve grown arrogant, snapping on people who judge my passion on different Facebook group. When I see people judge my shit, my thoughts go ‘I don’t see you putting your works out for the public to see’ and ‘When was the last time you created something?’. I’m finding myself upset that some people (who are my friends) won’t support me, but they support a stranger (in our niche). I normally turn to a business and branding group I’m a member of for support, but despite their helpful posts, it doesn’t help for long.

In short, I’m feeling impatience about my journey (and a bit of jealousy towards others who’re doing better than me, sadly).

I turned to YouTube to see if I can find any branding influencer I follow for help. I came across Gary Vaynerchuk’s channel in my subscription. He has awesome materials for dealing with impatience, so I started to scroll through his channel until I saw a certain video:

(If you don’t have time to watch the video above, here are some quick notes:

1. Drown out the noise around you and just focus on you until you hit 29 (or 39, 49, etc.).
2. Impatience kills creativity.
3. Everyone who’s in their 20s with “success” hasn’t’ truly hit success in the grand scheme of things.)

I needed this. I needed somebody to tell me that the feeling of impatience and wanting success badly are normal feelings. Ever since I started to study about the moves I need to make, self-education, and working on me (for a better future), I have just been impatient and angry. Impatient because I feel that I’m pouring my heart into my passion and not getting the results I want. Angry because I wish I would have the materials and tools (that I’ve discovered at age 27-28) when I was still in high school. If I had those tools back then, perhaps I would be in a better place right now.

Then again, there’s a saying: Better late than never. Am I mad at myself that I started out late? Yes. Am I happy I started at 28? Yes. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m a late bloomer and everything lmfao. In any case, I need to close my eyes until I’m 29 (three weeks from now). I figure if I limit my time on social media (only using it for networking and brand building), my mental state will improve. I won’t be as impatient, and I stop comparing myself to others. Drown out the noise as Gary Vee suggested in the video.

It won’t happen overnight (like success), but it’s a start. So I’m closing my eyes until I’m 29.

AFTERWORD:

Sorry for the whinny ass post lmfao. I just needed to get this off my chest do something productive with how I feeling rather than holding it in. I promise I’ll post the weeaboo shit soon.

Art source:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=8390979

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on April 13, 2018

Original Poems 0

Ego (Poem)

I have a bit of a big ego.
I shouldn’t talk about it, I know.
But, can you hear me out.
I tell you what’s my ego is about.

They say ego is the enemy.
I don’t see how that can be.
I say that my big ego is my ally.
Do you wanna know why?

My big ego helps me get out of bed.
At times where I rather just be dead.
My big ego helps me face the relentless dread.
Just so I can simply get ahead.
In this game we call life.

What’s wrong with being egotistical.
Having high-self-esteem, it seems logical.
To get to places I need to go.
It seems to bother people through.
When you’re proud of your ego.
In my field, I gotta be the best.
To stand out from the average rest.
Having a big ego works well for that no less.
Stay humble? Miss me with that nonsense.

I’ve been humble for far too long.
It doesn’t get you anything but step on
My ego refuses it.
I must show the world my greatness.

And that’s why I’m egotistical

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on April 12, 2018

Dragon Ball 0

The Pride of Vegeta: Ego is the Ally.

“Indeed, I am arrogant. But, to me, that’s precisely what my pride as a Saiyan is!”

After his ego and pride were belittled by Jiren, Vegeta felt that he had to defend who he is as a person. As a proud Saiyan Elite prince, Vegeta dedicated his life to the art of combat, surpassing others, conquering planets, and of course – breaking his limits. It shouldn’t shock anyone that Vegeta took offense to Jiren’s criticism. Is Vegeta arrogant? Perhaps to some. However, I don’t see it as arrogance. I think he’s confident and prideful of what he has accomplished over the course of his life. After all, he has every right to act as such. Vegeta earned his high self-esteem and self-worth through hard work.

Hard work thanks to his greatest ally: His ego.

All champions have big egos. Without a big ego, they would have never become a champion.’
From Victor Pride’s article The Importance of Having a Big Ego

Why does Vegeta have a big ego? Well, it stems from a few factors. Prince Vegeta is a Saiyan. Saiyans are naturally physical, competitive warriors. Vegeta is also a paragon and of royal blood. He achieved master-level combat skills and knowledge as a child. Seeing his power, King Vegeta (his father) took him under his wing and the two conquered (and destroy) planets for years. Now mind you, Vegeta did all of this before he hit puberty – and he wasn’t finished yet.

Even as a child, Vegeta proved himself to be an outlier.

Being controlled and abused by the tyrant Frieza also impacted his ego. The Saiyans could have been a prosperous race if it wasn’t for Frieza. Frieza murdered King Vegeta. He betrayed the loyalty the Saiyans by killing them and destroying their planet. Following that, he reduced Vegeta’s status to that of a common, low-ranking lackey – completely disregarding his royal heritage.

To say Vegeta was bitter towards Frieza’s treatment is an understatement.

Then, you have the case of Kakarotto – or Son Goku. Son Goku was thought of a low-class Saiyan who would never amount to anything (in the eyes of the Elite Saiyans). Vegeta was disgusted at Goku (due to Goku’s kindhearted nature – unnatural for Saiyans). He didn’t view him as a real Saiyan – nor worthy of becoming a Super Saiyan. Even after believing that Goku was the Super Saiyan of legend, Vegeta held resentment towards Goku for obtaining such status and power. Vegeta was convinced that only he – a royal Saiyan Elite – deserved the title and power of the Super Saiyan.

It was his birthright. And Kakarotto took it away from it.

Yearning to not only obtain the Super Saiyan transformation but also surpassing Goku, Vegeta spent three years’ training to acquire his goals. He worked mercilessly – even to the point of death. It was at that point of near death is where Vegeta finally gained the power of the Super Saiyan. After years of pain and suffering, the prince reclaimed his title of the prince of three Saiyans. He even “surpassed” that blasted Kakarotto!”

(And by surpassed I mean Goku caught the heart virus and was out of commission for most of the Andoird conflict. Therefore, Vegeta was the strongest due pure “luck” on his end).

Vegeta didn’t stop there. Super Saiyan wasn’t enough to quince Vegeta’s competitive thirst. After Goku told Vegeta that they must go beyond Super Saiyan, Vegeta took this chance to prove himself as the superior Saiyan. Vegeta trained for another year in the Room of Spirit and Time (or the Hyperbolic Time Chamber for you FUNimation weebs). Then, he gained power that exceeded Super Saiyan: Super Saiyan Grade 2 (or simply, Ascended Saiyan).

Vegeta yet again surpassed Kakarotto! Oh, how Vegeta praised himself for his efforts. And then a few hours later, Vegeta was curbed stomp by Perfect Cell. See, Vegeta – although proud of yet another accolade – let his ego get the best of him. Cell tricked Vegeta into obtaining his Perfect form and made the Prince his bitch.

That was funny.

Let’s fast forward seven years. With Goku dead, Vegeta had nothing better to do. Well, besides training (because of that competitive nature). Vegeta got news that Goku was returning to the living world for the 25^th Budokai Tenkaichi Tournament. He sees this as a chance to finally beat Goku once and for all. See, Vegeta never got over the fact that Goku was the better warrior. Vegeta was envious that Goku achieved so much (despite him being a low-class Saiyan). Vegeta wanted to prove once and for all he was the best. And he could have if shit didn’t go south during the tournament (the Majin Buu and Babidi conflict). During the Majin Buu conflict, Vegeta allowed his jealousy to get the best of him and let Bababi brainwash him into Majin Vegeta.

All because he wanted to show his superiority towards Goku.

The evil prince has returned! At last, Vegeta could dominate Goku in combat…by killing a bunch of innocent people and allowing the release of Majin Buu. Then Vegeta realized that his ego is problematic and that he had to sacrifice himself to take out Majin Buu – all because he fucked up.

Okay, so maybe Vegeta had some minor issues with his ego.

In the real world, high-level athletes, performing artists, and businessmen are viewed as egotistical. Their self-sense of pride are off-putting to some – but they have the right to be prideful. These people pour countless hours into their craft. Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of our time, is viewed by many as arrogant. But when you won six Championships rings, brought money to your team’s city, and created a multi-million-dollar brand, you earned the right to be arrogant. Kanye West, a rapper hated for his ego, won over 92 awards over the course of his career. He better be egotistical. Entrepreneur Tai Lopez, (in)famous for his “Here in My Garage” video (where he showcased his then-new Lamborghini) was criticized for showing off the luxury sports car and the thousands of books in his personal collection. Then again, when you are the investor and advisor to over 20 successful multi-million dollar companies, I think it’s okay to show off your trophies – and how you earned them through knawledge.

These guys have earned the right to be egotistical, cocky, and arrogant, whatever you wanna call their high levels of self-esteem. Why? Because these guys worked their asses off to get to the levels of where they are today. Vegeta is like that. Vegeta worked his ass off to maintain his Prince and Elite status. He dedicated his life to push himself beyond his limits. He earned Super Saiyan 1, Ascended, Super Saiyan 2, Super Saiyan God, and Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan.

It’s understandable to see why Vegeta was angry at Jiren’s remarks about his ego. Vegeta had to back up his pride – the thing that drives him to better himself. Vegeta himself stated that he can never throw that away. It what makes Vegeta.

Vegeta is an arrogant man. And what’s wrong with that?

‘Being humble doesn’t work as well as being aware.’

-Drake, (From his 2014 single The Catch Up)

FURTHER RESOURCES:
The Importance of Having a Big Ego:
https://boldanddetermined.com/big-ego/

Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday (the inspiration for the article’s title):

DISCLAIMER: I am not associated with Amazon nor Ryan Holiday. I do not make any money off this.

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on January 13, 2018

Freewriting 0

“Real Niggas Do What They Wanna Do. Bitch Niggas Do What They Can Do.” (Freewrite)

I’m a 90s hip-hop fan, with the late Tupac Shakur as one of my favorite rappers from the era. “Staring Through My Rare View” (which the title of this freewrite is from), is my favorite work by the legend, as to me, can describes one own desires of achieving their dreams , goals, and how one yearn to reach their personal level of success by any means.

As stated from an earlier post about my pride and ego, for most my childhood and teen life, I was told I’d never be successful with having a learning disability and being in special education. Overtime I managed to prove the doubters wrong . However, with recent unwanted interactions from a toxic person ()whom I had cut off a year ago) who decided to remind me of my past struggles, my pride and ego has been working overtime to prove yet another doubter wrong to say the least.

This is where the line “Real niggas do what they wanna do” comes to play.

I do not know what’s going on in my head (in combination with my desires), but I have this drive to do whatever the fuck I please in order to reach what I want in life, or at the very least, achieve my own personal short or long terms goals then move forward to the next one. Even with things not going how I want it right now, me starting on this anime blogging (and now “vlogging”) journey at an late age compare to most others, and working full time, I still gonna do whatever I want to gain higher success.

Massive success even.

There’s more from life I want then just doing the same shit everyone else is doing. I wanna new shit rather than doing the same old bullshit from last year. Maybe this what Haruhi Suzumiya probably felt when she realized she can do whatever she pleased on that fateful day of realization watching baseball with her dad (gotta keep this somehow anime related).

So, I’m just going to keep doing me. Do whatever I wanna do in life, and for my passion.

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on June 2, 2017

Freewriting 0

On My Pride, My Ego, My Ambitions, and Helping Others (Freewrite)

The other day on Facebook, I created a status about haters. I stated if you have them, you’re making moves. My homegirl, who’s incredibly infamous in her field, and have a lot of haters, replied with “YES I DO LOL!”. I asked “How can I get more haters fam!” given she’s the expert of gaining them.

She followed up with some real shit.

“Do you want my honest opinion? Your ambition isn’t that high. You have form, but no clear refinement, or clear purpose, or agenda. Set the path up for yourself to contribute something worthy of recognition towards society and the haters will come and drove. Stop practicing your trolling skills online doing nothing. Instead of trolling to seek hateres, use your social skills to improve people’s lives, and make a positive impact for both their lives, and your own.”

(The last sentence is a paraphrase, but whatever. The message is still there)

This made me think hard about myself, and my life goals hardcore.

Ever since I got back from Anime Central, my ego, arrogance levels, and pride, were growing larger. I managed to successfully run a room party with my friend (bartending the party), made new contacts, expanded my network, and managed to promote my blog and brand.

My ego was on an all-time high. I felt unstoppable, and needed to reach higher and yield more results, but just for myself, Nobody else.

Years of being the underdog, belittled, bullied, and people calling you a failure at life because you were in special education for academics weaknesses does that to your ego; make it larger after success. Sans a handful of people, who I guess saw I had more potential than what I gave myself credit for (growing up with low self-esteem issues is a bitch), people counted me out, telling me I’ll never be successful.

For years, I just let that shit bottled up inside me, trying to ignore it subconsciously. However, it manifested itself into pride, and a sort of “revenge mission” against the haters, doubters, and niggas who belittled me.
The breaking point of this was when my brother, who I haven’t talked to a year (due to his own petty bullshit) decided to randomly text me, calling me a failure, a retard, and a loser who’ll never do anything with my life. He went on to compared me to our uncle, who (in my brother words “a fucking failure”) . That shit made me berserk, and made my focus to produce more work.

I wasn’t working to make others enjoy my work. I was working to feed my ego, and stunt on this family member. I’m gonna admit something; My Sailor Moon S’s analysis and my analysis on Hitagi’s mental state were results from my anger towards this family member who was doubting my success (the last two themes of my Sailor Moon S analysis was rushed just so I could prove a point and prove this man wrong, not because I was passionate)
‘I WILL be successful and I make every last one of ya who counted me out or made me felt bad about myself regret saying all that shit.’

-Benjamin’s Pride.

cover_pic_censored — My current cover pic on Facebook. Updated out of pure pride.

When my friend (and another one whom I spoke to in private) to me I could do so much more by helping others with my skills, rather than using them just feed my ego, and increase haters, it awoken something in me: The drive to help others.

I’ve known and befriended many people over the last seven years of my life. I can easily help them, and more.

Saw a friend who was upset with their family fuckin’ with them (not going into details, as that’s their busssiness), and I figure “Well, guess I better put whatever fucking skills I have to good use and help this friend out.”

Besides, I’m so used to dealing with an insecure family member’s petty bullshit. Let me use my experience with them to help my friend feel better and have a space to get out their anger. If I can make my friend feel better, and push themselves to prove their family members wrong, then I guess I’m on the right path.

Another friend was having problems letting go the past, being insecure, and confidence issues. Three fields I’m an expert in! Not going into details (because again, I don’t wanna put their business out there), but I told my friend she need to focus on herself first and foremost. Find something that she’s proud of that she done, and build confidence off that. In addition, taught her that it’s normal to have insecurities, but to also work and improve them, so she can be more secure and happy with herself.

When she told me that she was glad she was able to speak to me about those topics, that legit made me happy. Another friend is feeling better about themselves, because I helped them out.

May I say, happy others really feel good? Perhaps I really should focus on that skill, and build up my ambitions through helping.

By Yuki The Snowman Posted on May 29, 2017