(WARNING: The following post contains my raw, unedited thoughts.  Therefore, you may encounter spelling and grammar errors.  Plus,  I don’t feel like editing a free foam writing post).

The past month or so has been chaotic for my creative pride.  With being active in writing, getting my side hustle off the ground, and planning out content for my YouTube channel, my ego has gone into overdrive.  I’ve grown arrogant, snapping on people who judge my passion on different Facebook group. When I see people judge my shit, my thoughts go ‘I don’t see you putting your works out for the public to see’  and ‘When was the last time you created something?’.  I’m finding myself upset that some people (who are my friends) won’t support me, but they support a stranger (in our niche).  I normally turn to a business and branding group I’m a member of for support, but despite their helpful posts, it doesn’t help for long.

In short, I’m feeling impatience about my journey (and a bit of jealousy towards others who’re doing better than me, sadly).

I turned to YouTube to see if I can find any branding influencer I follow for help.  I came across Gary Vaynerchuk’s channel in my subscription.  He has awesome materials for dealing with impatience, so I started to scroll through his channel until I saw a certain video:

(If you don’t have time to watch the video above, here are some quick notes:

1. Drown out the noise around you and just focus on you until you hit 29 (or 39, 49, etc.).
2. Impatience kills creativity.
3. Everyone who’s in their 20s with “success” hasn’t’ truly hit success in the grand scheme of things.)

I needed this.  I needed somebody to tell me that the feeling of impatience and wanting success badly are normal feelings.  Ever since I started to study about the moves I need to make, self-education, and working on me (for a better future), I have just been impatient and angry.  Impatient because I feel that I’m pouring my heart into my passion and not getting the results I want.  Angry because I wish I would have the materials and tools (that I’ve discovered at age 27-28) when I was still in high school.   If I had those tools back then, perhaps I would be in a better place right now.

Then again, there’s a saying: Better late than never.  Am I mad at myself that I started out late?  Yes.  Am I happy I started at 28?  Yes.  I’ve accepted the fact that I’m a late bloomer and everything lmfao. In any case, I need to close my eyes until I’m 29 (three weeks from now).  I figure if I limit my time on social media (only using it for networking and brand building), my mental state will improve.  I won’t be as impatient, and I stop comparing myself to others.  Drown out the noise as Gary Vee suggested in the video.

It won’t happen overnight (like success), but it’s a start.  So I’m closing my eyes until I’m 29.

 

AFTERWORD:

Sorry for the whinny ass post lmfao.  I just needed to get this off my chest do something productive with how I feeling rather than holding it in.  I promise I’ll post the weeaboo shit soon.

Art source:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=8390979

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2 Comments »

  1. Never be sorry for a post. I believe rants are the best thing on WP.
    Being 20 (well, in another day), I don’t have much to contribute, but there’s something reassuring about the number being 29. I often feel so absorbed in my present that I forget I’ll live to be 29, 39, 49… Life is long, or at least, it’s supposed to be.
    Keep your eyes closed, and good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol. I try not to rant about shit but things were pretty wild in the week when I wrote that post and I needed an outlet.

      I say live for the future but its not bad to live in the present either. Just don’t live for the moment everyday.

      Liked by 1 person

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