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Tag: freewrite

Champion Joe 0

“They Don’t Make Tombstones For Stray Dogs”

What’s a name?  Obviously, it’s a set word(s) to identify a person, place, or thing.  Some names are linked to a famous brand (Nike, Nordstrom, or  Nintendo for example). Others are associated with a person in your life ( brother, sister, cousin, etc.)  There are names famous throughout the world — regardless of culture, race, etc (Micheal Jackson, Bill Gates, Shigeru Miyamoto).   Depending on the person, whenever we hear their name,  we either react with disgust or with love.   Names are important as they are the basis of who we are as a person.  Some fight to preserve their name in history — even after death.

In episode 2 of the Spring 2018 boxing anime Megalo Box  the Junk Dog Gearless Joe squares off with Megalo Boxing champion Yuri. Before their fight, Yuri requests Joe’s real name, as he states that “I can’t imagine you want a ring name on your tombstone” in which Joe  replies “They don’t make tombstones for stray dogs.”

Regardless if Joe wants to use his real or ring name,  he wants his legecy to be known.  He refuses to die without anyone knowing who he was in life.  The line is simple, yet powerful.  Joe is right: they do not make tombstones for no names.

Question: Do we recognize people who never done anything in history?

No, we don’t.    Those who achieved greatness have their names embedded in history.  The ones who don’t are forgotten. The story of the Gearless Joe is one of the classic underdog story.  Joe is a young man of lower class status yearning to escape the strife and trap of poverty through boxing.  With his boxing skills,  he believes that if he becomes the Megalo Boxing champion, his name will live forever.  Joe refuses to die as a nobody.  That’s not his fate in this world.  There’s no glory in being another unknown background character in a world of billions and billions of people.

Nobody gives a shit about a stray dog.

People fight until their final breaths to keep their name and brand relevant.  We may not understand why,  but there are many in this world who do not want to die as a nobody.   Utliziing their skillsets and talents, they put themselves out there in hopes that one day, their legacy will be celebrated. Deep inside them, there’s that drive for certain humans to make their mark on this world by any means.  If they don’t, they will die with the regret of not becoming the icon in their niche or even the world.  That’s why they fight.

They don’t make tombstones for stray dogs.
 

Doki Doki Literature Club 0

Monika and Taking Advantage of the Game of Power (Drunken Freewrite)

Disclaimer: Wrote this when I was drunk.  

Just imagine: You’re a normal schoolgirl living a normal life in Japan, America, or whatever the fuck you’re from.  You do normal schoolgirl things like homework, talk about boys, join clubs, and worrying about if the beta incel loser who think women owes him pussy will finally snap and shoot up the school. You live an average life with you and your friends having fun and thinking about the future after high school.

One day, you have an epiphany: Everything you know about your life was a complete lie.

 

You’re not a real person – you’re a computer game character trapped in a visual novel made by some computer nerd who used to make mods for a children party game that was ruined by a bunch of sad, loser ass manchildren who turned it into a “fighting” game.  Your peers are nothing more but data.  The school you love?  It’s a simulation.  Your friends?  Programmed to fall in love with some sad virgin weeaboo jacking off to hentai of said friends after the finished playing the game while you sit on the sidelines questioning your existence.   So what you going to do with your new Godlike self-aware powers?

Brainwash and Kill your friends,  disrupt the game and force the player to fall in love with you of course!

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Monika gets a lot of shit in the DDLC fandom.  People claim that she’s a sociopath.  People hate on her because she killed their cliche’ waifu. Fans of Monika (like myself) are accused of being morally bankrupt and corrupt.  Me personally?  I think Monika is a power player and was a G for taking advantage of her situation.  If you had absolute power, or seek it, wouldn’t you do anything by any means to get what you want?

Monika was simply playing the game of power to her advantage.  She understood that her friends were nothing more but lines of data.  She wasn’t killing anyone real. Besides, what would have happened if one of them became self-aware? Surely they would have tried to take out Monika and anyone else in their way.   Knowing this, I can’t fault Monika for her actions.

She had to do everything within her power to ensure victory.

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What are the goals for dealing with rivals in sports, business, the workplace, what have you?  Take out anyone in your way, dominate and intimidate them all. You take them out by sheer force and superior skills. You dominate by being better,  maintaining your number spot, and being innovating.  Finally, you intimidate through brutal, savage actions – making sure nobody else tries to step up to you and knock you out of first place. Monika did all three. Screwing with the game’s programming was intimidation.  She made Sayori hang herself, Natsuki snap her neck, and Yuri stab herself to death: taking out the competition. And finally, she dominated the system.  Simple power plays if you ask me.

Don’t hate the player or the game.  Be the player and take advantage of the game.

books 0

Backside of Our Desires (Freewrite)

Recently I started reading Relentless: From Good, To Great,  To Unstoppable by Tim Grover (athletic trainer for iconic basketball players such as Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant) after months of the book sitting on my dresser.  Skimming through the table of contents I found a chapter that took my attention.  The chapter: “When You’re a Cleaner… …You Have a Dark Side That Refuses to be Good”.  I went straight to that chapter (as I  know I have a dark side and comfortable with that), yearning to understand why it’s okay to have one.

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The chapter opens up with Tim saying this: ‘A cooler tries to fight his dark side and loses.  A closer acknowledges his dark side but isn’t able to control it.  A cleaner harnesses his dark side into raw, controlled power.’  While I simply nodded and smile (a twisted smile at that), I started to laugh a bit. ‘What kinda Persona 2, 4, and 5 type shit is this?’ I asked myself.  I mean, I doubt Tim Grover is a gamer nor does he gives a fuck about video games, but I couldn’t help to think about the Persona series when reading the chapter.  In Persona 2, 4, and 5, you encounter the “Shadow Self” of the heroes.

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Simply put, the Shadow Self is the “corrupted’ version of a character. It is their hidden desires and thoughts they do not want the world to see.  Domination.  Revenge.  Anger.  Jealously. Lust.  Pride. Hatred.  You name it.  It is the character true self. Yukiko (Persona 4) secretly wants to be liberated from her duties as heir of her family’s business.  That’s her true self.  Maya’s (Persona 2) anger towards her childhood friends.  That’s how she actually feels about the situation that happened to her (as a child).  There’s nothing wrong with them.  It’s just their repressed feelings they have yet to deal with.    We felt those dark feelings often and there’s nothing wrong with it. What’s wrong is if we let those feelings control us – not the other way around (or worse, if we try to fight them).

 

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Shadow Maya

 

It is said that if anyone tries to deny their shadow self in the Shadow world, their shadow will become enraged and kill the person.  In short, they’re coolers. Adachi (Persona 4) knew he had a dark side and rather than control it, the darkness in his heart lead to the murders of two innocent women (and it almost caused the destruction of the world).  He’s a closer.   Yukiko however, came to terms to her dark desires and understood those feelings shouldn’t be demonized.   Because Yukiko accepted her dark feelings (rather than denying them) , her shadow manifested into raw, controlled power (her Persona) – which she would use to save the world with her friends.

Yukiko is a cleaner.

 

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Shadow Yukiko and Normal Yukiko

 

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Be real with yourself and don’t bullshit me: You have dark desires that you don’t want the world to know.  It’s oaky.  Those desires do not make you a horrible human being (as long as they’re not unethical, illegal, etc.).  You want power and control?  That’s okay.  So do I and many other people in this world.  You wish to dominate in your niche and be the baddest man or woman in it?  Same here man.  Had wrong doings against you or those you love and you want the people responsible to suffer for it?

Me too.

Since I’m on that topic, let’s take Futaba (Persona 5) for example.  Her Shadow self was rooted in her desire to confirm that her mother was murdered (rather than committing suicide as originally reported).  Futaba lusted for revenge against the people who murdered her mom.  Futaba was going to kill herself (over the grief and stress of losing her mom) until her shadow talked her out of it and  told her that she has friends who love and support her.   How could Futaba get revenge against the people who killed her mom if she had offed herself?  Upon accepting her true feelings of wanting revenge Futaba became a cleaner.

 

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Shadow Futaba and Normal Futaba

 
Now, do you see how there’s nothing wrong with having a dark side? A shadow?  Your shadow self should be used as a positive.

You were used! They forged her suicide note nad laid the blame of her death upon you! They trampled all over your young heart!  Get mad! Don’t forgive those rotten adults!”

-Shadow Futaba

NOTES:
Coolers: Your average guys.  They get job done at a simple, everyman level.  Your 9-to-5ers basically.
Closers: Those who go up and beyond just a little bit.  They may do a little bit extra than the average guy, but won’t go far when face with issues that they can’t handle

Closers: Your top/god tier men and women.  They do not fear pressure, advisesity, or problems.  In fact, they love them.  They are willing and able to dominate in any situation even if the situation is filled with problems without error.

Shadow Yukiko art source:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=3428393

(Three years later I’m still mad Shadow Futaba’s white/Asian/what the fuck her race is ass dressed up like an Egyptian lmfao)

Freewriting 0

Playing the Long Game (Freewrite)

Recently, my friend came back to town for the Easter holiday weekend.  I haven’t seen him in over a year, so naturally, I had to hit my boy up and see how he’s doing.  After work decided to pay him a visit to see how he was doing.  As I arrived at his parents’ house (where he was staying), I saw playing chess against our homegirl.  I’ve always been interested in playing chess, but I was unaware of anyone (in my circle) who played it (until recently).  Wanting to feed my curiosity on the game, I ask to play the winner (our homegirl).

My homegirl, knowing that I’m new to the game, gave me the rundown on it. She described how each piece has their own movements, attacks,  and the best way to make moves with the pieces. Finally, she ended with the most important detail of chess: planning ahead for the long game. In short, she taught me how chess is about making strategies in your head often; being aware of the risks and rewards that lie beyond.

During her explanation, I realized how chess is like planning my next moves (in terms of brand building, vlogging, blogging, etc.) and looking beyond the moment.   You don’t simply move without logic.  You must not only plan all the way to the end but adapt to changes as well.

Chess is a game of patience and long-term planning – similar to brand building.

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When building your brand, business, etc., you need to plan things out.  If you don’t, you will be overwhelmed with stress and problems.  Planning for the long game takes time, thoughts, energy, and effort.  You must craft a plan for each project – for each move.  There are no excuses.

Say my first move is to write a review on Kokkou.  My plan is to make time to watch 12, 23 minutes of the series (6 hours or so) once without taking notes.  My second move will be to watch it again while writing notes on character devolvement, scriptwriting, animation, etc. Following that, I’ll take out the details in my writing that aren’t important, logically, etc. Once those are tackled, I start writing the first three drafts of my review until I hit my final draft.  During this time, I make a schedule for this writing project with a deadline.  This way, my review for the anime comes out in time while it’s still fresh in the fans mind.

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My long game plan on writing anime reviews or analysis also includes my regular 9-to-5 schedule/plans.  Let’s say I have to go in to work at 11.  The night before, I take about one hour (10PM-11PM) to add content to my review before I go to sleep for about 6 hours (11PM-5AM).  From 5AM-7AM, I just continue to write from where  I left off the night before. From 7AM-7:45AM, I prep and eat a protein heavy breakfast.  After that, I take a shower and once I’m done with that, it’s back to writing until I have to leave to work (I’m in my work clothes by then so there’s no delay or making myself late for work as I’m working on a project).

Repeat until success.

To conclude, you gotta plan for the long game with your projects.  It will help you out.  You need to set up your plan with logic, and not be ruled by your heart.  Attacking a project without a plan will destroy you.  It is foolish not to plan things you.

(Note: I have yet to watch Kokkou.  Do not wait for me for a review for it.)

 

Anime community 5

Post-Con Blues: I Don’t Get It (Litterally and Figuratively)

In my eight years of traveling to conventions and browsing through convention social media pages/groups, there is one ailment that tends to impact many an otaku: Post-Con Blues.  Post-Con Blues is the feeling of depression and sadness at the end of a convention.  Many will have to wait a year or so to see their cosplaying friends and weird ass costumed brethren, dealing with the “normies” of the real world.  I’m going to be real: I do not get this post-con blues thing. It sounds goofy to me.  Ever since my first convention (Anime St. Louis 2010) I never felt this feeling of sadness.  Did it suck that I had to return to the real world after my first convention? Kinda.

 

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A Sayaka cosplayer crying in her hotel room while her Madoka cosplaying friend awkwardly looks on.

 

I say kinda only because I figured years ago if I go back to work, spend and save my money wisely, I could continue and traveling to conventions and write about my experience on them (althrough seven years later after my first convention but whatever, I’m lazy).  Going to conventions weekend after weekend would burn me out and destroy my bank account.  Seeing the same people and cosplays would bore me quick.

Another counter messaurement I have for post-con blues is my hobbies outside of anime.  I love reading books (business, self-help/education, money, etc.) – so I focus my attention on those things.  I kick it with my friends when we’re free. Watching anime helps as well…when I have the time (being an adult working 60 hours a week is brutal).

Something to help keep my mind off cons for a bit.

If I do get upset after a convention, it’s more so I’m leaving a more cultured city and returning to the hellhole that is Saint Louis, lmfao.  I remember being treated with so much love at Atlanta when my  crew went to Anime Weekend Atlanta back in 2014.  People were friendly, polite, helpful, and not on some bullshit back in St. Louis.  I love St. Louis, but we are fucking backwards.  We are too slow to catch trends and by the time we do get trends, it’s too late.  I’m not saying Atlanta is perfect, but when you know your city barely has any culture and you go to a city full of it, it changes your mind about your hometown.

Now, my next statement will be harsh. Cruel even.  But you guys know me – I don’t care for the feelings of others (for the most part).   I personally (again, I) think if you have post-con blues, that simply means you have no life outside of your anime hobbies.  Sorry, but that’s how I feel. If your life revolves around whacky ass Japanese cartoons (and you’re not making money or major moves off it), you live a sad life.  If you use conventions to escape your problems rather than reward yourself for solving them (that you can control mind you), you’re an idiot.

To conclude this short little essay or freewrite or whatever, I don’t’ get post con blues.  Never have and never will.  I feel that I have means to avoid that shit and do better myself, but that’s just me. If you have post con blues, then do something about it rather than whine about it.

Peace.

Doki Doki Literature Club 0

Yuki’s Doki Doki Literature Club Adventrues: Act 1 (Freewrite)

Warning: Major Act 1 spoilers.  Major game spoilers below for certain characters.  Don’t read this and then get mad at me because I spoiled shit.

Last week, I decided to download Doki Doki Literature Club (DDLC) after six months of being bombard with memes, spoilers, and discussion across social media about the game.   With my friends filling me in on the game’s meta creepiness and horror, I figured it would be smart for me to buy some alcohol,  hit up my weedman for some loud, and get my mind right before playing DDLC.  In addition, I downloaded some Monika hentai off Danbooru and Rule 34; placing the hentai in the game’s folder. My homeboy told me that she can pull up your internet history. Apparently, she also reveals that she knows that you have porn of her.

If this game gonna fuck with my head,  I’m gonna fuck with its head.

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After drinking a 32 ounce of cheap ass Miller Beer, a glass wine, and smoking a blunt,  I booted up DDLC. The game warned me that I may not have a good time playing it. Of course, the game is wrong because I always have fun tearing overhyped shit apart.  Next, I had to give my character a name. First, I went with “RealNigga”; a reflection of me being the realest nigga in the otaku community (a title nobody will ever take from me). However, I changed it to “YourName” just to see if the game picks up on me being a smart ass.  Plus, I wanted to see if Monika said something about that (since she knows your PC name and gets angry with you for not stating your “real” name).

The game begins.  I’m greeted with the generic happy-go-lucky childhood friend Sayori aka “Hangtime” (and I’m not talking about NBA Hangtime for the Nintendo 64).  I decided not to romance her for obvious reasons.  Next, the game proceeds to the literature club where I meet the rest of the cast of the game. First, best shy girl Yuri. Yuri is just Hanako and Lily from Katawa Shoujo (who somehow learned how to do the Fusion Dance from Dragon Ball Z).  Following Yuri, there’s the low-key otaku Natsuki who’s a tsundere. I hate most tsundere characters, but Natsuki gets a pass due to reasons I’ll explore in a future post (maybe). Finally, Just Monika Lewinsky – the club president and game’s true villain or some shit.

Oh yea spoilers my bad.

With the girls presented this was my gameplan: romance Yuri and Monika at the same time. The other girls can go fuck themselves. Yuri has wisdom and knowledge.  I love wisdom and knowledge.  Monika has power and influence – two things I want in life.  Sayori will become ceiling decoration by the end of act 1. Natsuki (although a good character), doesn’t appeal to me just yet.  Moving forward, I did my first poem writing mini-game bullshit thing.  Being the crafty man that I am, I selected the words that I knew would get me to Yuri’s Act 1 route.

Look, I have a storied history of liking shy, quiet, weird people who are secretly interesting, smart, sophisticated, what have you.  I used to be super shy, weird, and quiet so I relate to those characters heavily.

Plus, purple is my favorite color. Yuri has purple hair and eyes.  I am a biased man.

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After befriending Yuri I realized that the game must have programmed Sayori to become aware of this relationship. Sayori started saying things like “Would you walk with Yuri back home over me?” and “It won’t be long until you need me anymore, you know.” It worsens when Sayori admitted that she had life-long depression and suicidal thoughts. It was then where I said to myself “Oh fuck…” and realized I made a horrible mistake.

The two glasses of wine, the beer, and the blunt I consumed didn’t help this either.

 

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“Now if there’s a smile on my face
It’s only there trying to fool the public…”

 

The next day (in-game), the MC and Yuri did some club project bullshit.  Yuri came over to MC’s house to work on club promotion.  Yuri (clearly trying to get some dick) gave the MC a sample of her aromatherapy talent.  Following that, she shows her knife off to the MC (who winds up cutting himself with it).  With Yuri freaking out she decided to put the dude’s finger in her mouth and lick his wound.  Then MC returned the favor, licking her finger and she started to blush.

Hmm…

So after that, the two decided to end their day.   The MC walked her out of the crib and by pure luck, Sayori catches their asses.  Sayori admits she was going to the house to confirm her fears – which were proven right.  I dunno what’s worse: The main chick catching you with the side chick coming out of your house, or your female childhood best friend – who you know has a crush on your – seeing you with another girl. I myself never been in either situation. All my female childhood friends are probably dead, racist, or have forgotten about me.  And I don’t have the balls to do the main chick/side chick shit. I can’t explain that shit to you.

Either way, pretty sure that worsen Sayori’s depression – which I will learn the hard way.

The next school day, I’m greeted by Monika.  She informs me that Sayori hasn’t shown up to school and states that I kinda left her hanging that morning. Monika, that’s fucking dark. Funny. But dark. But real shit I knew what was happening next.  I drank another glass of wine to prep myself.  Monika gives me Sayori’s final poem to read simply titled Get Out of my Head. I admit the title wasn’t subtle but I was getting scared playing the game. After school, the MC heads over to Sayori’s house.

 

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Nah bitch, you did.  I read the spoilers.

 

I’m assuming you’re already hip to the Sayori’s suicide spoilers so fuck the details. If you’re not well you’re goofy for reading this far even with the spoiler warning. Anyway, as the MC was freaking out seeing his homegirl’s hanging body he says something like “This isn’t a game where I can reset and try something different.”

A smirk flashed across my face.  I pointed to my laptop’s screen and simply said “Bet.”  I made a second save file just in case if the game branches off to a new path (if you attempt to quit or escape Sayori’s room). My plan wasn’t to start over per se but to experiment with the different things you can do with the game.  So I saved, quit, and launched the game.

The game starts up, but I’m greeted with glitchy ass music and a gltich image of Monika (replacing Sayori).  I couldn’t access my load files.  In fact, they were all deleted.  “Fuck.  Maybe I was supposed to read that entire scene after all.”

That’s what I get for trying to play the metagame against a game that’s programmed to fuck with you using meta.

 

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Unless you mod it of course. 

 

AFTERWORD:
Doki Doki Literature Club is amazing.  Go play it.  Just don’t do in under the influence of drugs and alcohol if you’re easily scared.  The music sucks tho. Not sorry. Project M died for this.

 

Anime community 2

Stop Crying. Not Everyone Will Like Your Favorite Anime.

As a person who brutally reviews and talk about anime with joyful smite, you come across people who get mad at you because you don’t like an anime they enjoy.   Shoot, you don’t have to be an anime reviewer to run across these folks.  You know, the people who go “Turn your brain off and enjoy the show!” or “You’re not allowed to talk about a show you like” and my personal favorite, “Fuck you, you darkie for trashing my waifu this is why you blacks get shot by cops and lynched!”

Anime fans are goofy.

 

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Typical entry-level visual novel fan.

 

I don’t see the idea of getting all in your feelings over the negative opinions on an anime. I get it:  you invested endless hours on a show.  I know what it fell to fall in love with a character that you have a personal connection with.  That’s cool.  What’s not cool is being all mad because somebody said something like “I don’t think this show wasn’t that good.” or “This show was trash.” They just didn’t feel the show the way you did; that’s okay.  You cannot expect everyone to think your favorite anime is awesome as much as you.  You cannot hold everyone to your standards when it comes to appreciating every show this medium has to offer.

You will be disappointed.

If you come across somebody who says “This show suck” or something, just ignore them and move on.  You are confident (I hope) with the show’s enjoyment level.  You love the show.  Why does it really matter if others don’t like your favorite show?  Why do you get in your feelings because somebody negatively review a series you enjoy?   If you get all angry over the opinions of others over a cartoon that you did not even create, you need mental help.  Like forreal.  Does Wit Studio send you a Chise Hatori cosplayer to give you head for every 20 time you defend The Ancient Magus’s Bride?  Let me know because I would totally defend Touhou Project to get head from a Junko or Yukari cosplayer.  Space MILFs and older gap women are two of my things. But really, what is the point of defending your favorite show against somebody who will never change their opinion about it?

Let’s be honest: Everyone is critical about something.  You included.  It’s human nature to judge something and either have a positive or negative reaction to it.  Anime is not excluded in this.   I bet you there are many shows that you’ve watched and did not enjoy.  Don’t bullshit me. People who say they’re not judgmental on any anime are full of shit.  We all have anime series that we don’t’ like enjoy.  We all have shows that we love to bash.  I bet you there’s a show that came out this Fall 2017 season that you straight up hated and spent your precious time talking shit about.

I know I have. 

 

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And it’s’ fun seeing the results of having a negative review on a show.

 

To conclude this little rant, people won’t like your favorite show.  Deal with it. If you love a show and somebody else doesn’t, that’s on them.  The simple fact that you like that show should be more than enough for you to not be bothered by somebody else’s negative opinions.  You need forreal help if you get angry about it.

You’re not Aqua.  Please stop crying.

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Vector trace Aqua source:
https://the-old-y.deviantart.com/art/Vector-Crying-Aqua-672981501

Butthurt entry-level visual novel virgin fan:

My Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/yukithesnowman/

higurashi no naku koro ni 0

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni – Raw Thoughts Pt. 3

August 10th, 2017 marked the 15th anniversary of the hit visual novel series “Higurashi no Naku Koro ni”.  Higurashi no Naku Koro ni was adapted into  a successful animated series by Studio Deen in 2006 – setting the standard for horror anime which many series have tried and failed to emulate since.  In reflection and celebration of the series 15th anniversary, I will be providing my raw, unedited thoughts of the anime throughout the month of August.  I hope you’ll enjoy! 

Ya know, I don’t blame Shion for wanting to kill Teppei for abusing Satoko. Satoko is like a little sister to her and loves her as so.  Their bond is so strong that Satoko calls Shion her “Nee-Nee”(lit. “big sister”) during the events of the answer arc of Kai.  Knowing how much hardship Satoko has gone through in her young life, Shion is willing to protect Satoko by any means necessary.

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Shion’s a little tad crazy when it comes to people she loves and cares about.  Remember: this is the very same Shion that kinda sorta stabbed Satoko (who was pretending to be Jesus nailed to the cross) a few times on accident (no big deal the knife slipped), beat her grandma to death, and threw her sister into a pit leaving her to die –  all because she wanted Satoshi’s dick.

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The Passion of the Christ (2004)

When Shion (and the rest of the Club) discovered that Teppei was abusing Satoko, she lost it.  While the Club was thinking saving their friend without violence and dealing with legal issues, Shion was like “Nah fuck that! Let’s kill this man right now!” Keiichi objects Shion’s plan to go full out violent against Teppei, trying to convince the insane nutcase twin to not do anything she would regret.  Shion was like “Nah”, grabbed a chair and smash it over Keiichi’s head – threatening to kill him if it meant getting to kill Teppei and saving Satoko.

She was going to honor Satoshi’s wish of watching over Satoko.

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Even as a protagonist, Shion is still about that killer life.

I can understand Shion’s feelings of wanting to kill Teppei to in order to save Satoko.  I can’t describe it, but there’s a feeling of pure rage when you you hear that somebody you care for has been hurt and abused by someone  – especially if it’s a child. Your emotions clouds the logical accepts of your mind. Therefore, you do not think with rational but rather, with vengeance and rage.  You hate to see them hurt and you want them out of that abusive situation by any means.

Even if it means  through violence.

 

Am I saying to go out and kill abusive people?  Well, no (although there have be cases where people have kill abusive people before).  Now if it’s a life-or-death situation where the outcome may end with a victim dying, and the odds for a peaceful resolution are at their lowest, then I’m all for people killing abusive assholes.  I’m not an expert on the legalese or ethics of killing abusive people in a heated situation, so take what I just said with a grain of salt.

Ultimately, to end this quick little raw thought, I can see where Shion was coming from with her wanting to kill Teppei in order to save Satoko.  No child should go through abuse and suffering.  Those who harm others need to be dealt with,  may it be legally or taking matters by your own hands.

 

AFTERWORD:
Just got my hands on some Higurashi episodes.  Rewatching a few episodes in preparation for a new analytical article!  Stay tune!

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Higurashi no Naku Koro ni – Raw Thoughts Pt 2.

August 10th, 2017 marked the 15th anniversary of the hit visual novel series “Higurashi no Naku Koro ni”.  Higurashi no Naku Koro ni was adapted into  a successful animated series by Studio Deen in 2006 – setting the standard for horror anime which many series have tried and failed to emulate since.  In reflection and celebration of the series 15th anniversary, I will be providing my raw, unedited thoughts of the anime throughout the month of August.  I hope you’ll enjoy! 

WARNING:
Before I start I want to make it clear that this raw freewrite touch upon sensitive subjects such as child abuse and molestation.  There are also manga/comics scans below with gore and abuse. If you’re not comfortable with those things then please,  turn back now.  Check out some other contents on my website instead!

If you’re still here then that means you’re okay with reading about such topics and seeing the scans below.

During my first run through of the Higurashi  anime and manga back in 2009 I realized this: Higurashi was (and still is) that real shit.  I mean yea, it has that moe bullshit and slice of life elements to it,  but when you analyze and dissect how the series play with those elements,  it works well for the themes of Higurashi and it characters.  Themes such as child abuse, mental health, and (childhood) trauma.

Let’s take say Satoko for example.  Satoko is the typical (annoying) moe little sister type character in anime, right?  She’s a bit of a brat, a prankster, and an overall energetic child who seems happy to everyone who knows her.

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Satoko and her smugness.

Yet, she has an incredibly fucked up life; resulted from a series of tragic events that no child should experience.

 

Deranged (from the Hinamizawa Syndrome), she pushed her parents to their deaths from an observation deck.  She was abused (both physically and possibly sexually as it was hinted in the Nintendo DS remakes of the VNs) by her uncle Teppei who downright hates her.  Her family were the subject of hatred from the villagers of Hinamizawa (due to her late parents supporting the government’s attempts of flooding the village).  Her beloved brother, Satoshi, disappeared, leaving her without any supporting and loving family members.

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Fuck Teppei. 

The horrific events of her life would eventually take its toll on her mental health. Overtime, Satoko withdrew herself from her friends and club activities – believing she’s a burden on everyone.  In one incident, Satoko had a meltdown during class.  Keiichi’s seemly innocent gesture of  patting Satoko on her the head to cheer her up triggered a flashback of Satoshi doing the same.  Satoko violently shoved Keiichi across the classroom, blanks out, and starts to vomit.  After that, she tells everyone “I’m sorry” repeatedly while crying.

Nobody (sans her best friend Rika I’m assuming) knew she was struggling mentality (as far as I know).  Everyone thought she was doing (somewhat) okay with her cheerful, playful attitude that  she showing  everyone in school.   No one forreal knew she was suffering hardcore, she was  stressed out, that her happiness was just a mask for her pain.

‘Now if there’s a smile on my face
It’s only there trying to fool the public’
‘Now if I appear to be carefree
It’s only to camouflage my sadness

-“Tears of a Clown” by Smokey Robbison

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Since I’m on the topic of playful blonde characters who’re lowkey insane, Miyo Takano is another Higurashi character who appears they’re okay but deep down, she just as fucked up in the head like Satoko if not worse.   Like Satoko, Miyo lost her parents at a young age (from a train accident, and she witnessed her father bloodied and dying in the ER), leaving her orphaned.  She was adopted  by a government sponsored orphanage where she experienced extreme abuse from the so called “care-givers.

She was constantly beaten, saw children her age die from abused, forced to watch her friend’s remains consumed by chicken, and was forced to clean the bottom of an outhouse with her mouth.

The physical and psychological abuse she suffered would be one of two causes of her insanity which in turn would lead to one of the biggest tragic events later on in the series.

The second cause came after she was rescued from the orphanage by her dad’s mentor,  Hifumi.  Hifumi wanted to become God-like through his research of the Hinamizawa Syndrome.  One day, Hifumi presented his research, findings theories to fellow doctors and researchers – whom all mocked his work.  Miyo watched as  Hifumi’s peers mocking him, pissing her off. She believed in her beloved “grandfather” findings, watch him pour his soul into countless, sleepless hours of hard work, and not only encouraged him to continue despite the criticism, but she pushed herself to study as well.

After Hifumi passed away, Miyo continue where her grandfather left off.  in hopes of not only proving his theories correct, but also to prove themselves as gods.

Miyo’s God complex, in combination of her insanity from being abused as a child,  led to Great Hinamizawa Disaster – the massacre of 2,000 plus innocent people.  Miyo led a military force in slaughtering the Hinimizawa villagers, with six of the villagers were people she executed herself.  Six people she personally knew and befriended.

All of this, just because she wanted people to respect her and her grandfather.  Just because she wanted to become a God.

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‘I can tell you why people go insane’
-“Shadow of the Sun” by Chris Cornell and Audioslave

AFTERWORD:
The Umineko 10th Anniversary is coming soon.  May tie in Pt. 3 of my raw thoughts on Higurashi with that series.   Also I lied this wasn’t completely raw and unedited I had to change some things about Miyo given it wasn’t consistent with what I saw in the anime and manga.

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Higurashi no Naku Koro ni – Raw Thoughts Pt. 1

August 10th, 2017 marks the 15th anniversary of the hit visual novel series “Higurashi no Naku Koro ni”.  Higurashi no Naku Koro ni was adapted into  a successful animated series by Studio Deen in 2006 – setting the standard for horror anime which many series have tried and failed to emulate since.  In reflection and celebration of the series 15th  anniversary, I will be providing my raw, unedited thoughts of the anime throughout the month of August.  I hope you’ll enjoy! 

It was about ten years ago during my senior year of high school.  I was at my computer in business class, browsing Google for  anime wallpapers. While aimlessly browsing the images, I came across a wallpaper that stood out to me.  The wallpaper featured a young  teenager with a baseball bat, blood splatter, and film frames with the young boy  the frames  At the bottom there was layered text that  read “Please uncover the truth.  This is my only wish.”

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I didn’t think much of who was the character, what anime he was from, or the text in the image.  I just saw this wallpaper as a cool and edgy anime background for my computer.  Yet, there was something about this it that made me drawn to it.  Overtime, I became curious about the character on my screen and the meaning of his words.

“Please uncover the truth.  This is my only wish.”

“What does that mean, ‘uncover the truth’?”  I questioned.  Beyond that, I thought of nothing else.  My dumbass wasn’t smart enough to google that line at the time, so that mystery wasn’t going to be solved , at least during high school that is.

Little did I know back then that the image would mark the prelude of  one of my most beloved series of all time: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni (lit. When The Cicadas Cry).  So, when and how did I discovered the series?  Well, let’s fast forward to  my sophomore year of college in Fall 2009.  A friend recommended that I watch Elfen Lied so I could learn the OP “Lilium” on the violin after class. Once I was completed with classes for the day, I hurried  home, pull up the YouTube app on my Wii, looked up Elfen Lied, found the first episode and enjoy it.  Upon completion of the first episode, another anime appeared on the suggestion playlist.

 

“Higurashi no Naku Koro ni?  What is this?” I asked myself.  Curious, I clicked the thumbnail and laid back on my couch.

“This better be as good as that crazy ass Elfen Lied anime.”

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The video starts to play.  The show opens  with a young teen boy violently smashing the bodies of two lifeless, bloodied girls with a metal baseball bat.   Immediately, my eyes widen as I continued watching this dude beat these two girls to death.  The young boy dropped his bat as the camera focused on his carnage.  Finally, the focus was on the kid’s face as he panted, his eyes widened and blood on his face.

“Holy shit. ” I said to my self quietly.     “What is this show?”
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I’ve never been much of a horror media guy. I find them boring and cheesy (due to American films) and thoughtless gore fest.  Most of them are just the bad guy slicing and dicing up their stupid victims, lacking focus on true fear – psychological fear . But the first 30 seconds of Higurashi felt different.   This feeling was solidly in the OP animation and music.

The distance, distorted haunting vocals, the fast-paced arpeggio bass-line, the visual contrast of of a bloodied Rena walking on glass barefoot, Satoko alone in a flower fields crying, and Shion surrounded in red with her face twisted in rage. Each character’s expression and the color usage of their introduction told me that this anime was not like any horror media I’ve seen prior.   Just off the OP, I could understand their feeling of sadness, confusion, rage, etc. Emotion plays a huge role in the show I assumed; based off the OP.

This sold me to watching Higurashi.

So, I watched.  I watched in confusion at Keiichi waking up in the morning and chilling with Rena and Mion – the two girls he had killed earlier.  Was that a dream? A vision he had? I did not know but I stay glued to my seat, wanting answers.  Yet, the more I watched, the more questions I started asking.

“What’s with this Himizawa muders and are those girls behind it? “ and “Are they pretending to be happy and carefree to lure Keiichi into a trap?”

As I progressed the first few episodes,  I started to figure things out about Higurashi , how the time-loop work, how each arc featured a character just one misstep away from snapping and killing everyone or themselves.  And it wasn’t just for say edginess like Elfen Lied, these characters legit have psychological reasons behind their actions.

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Rena was bullied and almost raped by two male peers.  She (justifying) snapped and beat the two boys with a baseball bat.  Keep in mind this:  she was already  emotionally wrecked by her mom cheating on her dad and splitting the family up, so the bullies attacking her was her breaking point.   Shion was treated as a black sheep by her family, and was further disowned by them when she fell in love with Satoshi (a boy who is hated by her family).  Satoko (Satoshi’s sister) is a completely wreck mentality due to her the murders of her parents,  the disappearance of Satoshi, and her uncle physically abusing her.  Rika’s parents were murdered as well and suffers from hopelessness from living thorugh 100 of years of timeloops ending in the same result – death.

Hell, even the series final villain Miyo had issues that lead her into becoming the bad guy;  She was left orphaned after the death of her parents.  She was taken in by a government run orphanage which was abusing and torturing the children in it.  She was no exception to the abuse.  Thankfully, she was taken in by her dad’s mentor who treated and loved her like his own granddaughter, but the damage  done to her by her abusers at the orphanage took it toll.  Stack that with her witnessing her “grandfather” being belittled by his peers for his research, fueling her revenge against everyone that did him (and her) wrong and you got Miyo’s desires to become a God – desires that resulted in the massacred of 2,000+ innocent people a couple of  years later.

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You just feel so sorry for these characters and understood why they’re behave the way they did throughout the series, ya know?

Anyway I’m going to end this raw freewrite thoughts here but don’t fret!  To celebrate the 15th anniversary of the Higurashi VN, I will be dropping more raw freewrites on my love for the series and possibly an analysis article .

Stay tune!

Also sorry for the bad grammar I have to get to my gig ASAP

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Higurashi: The Only “Power of Friendship” Anime I Respect. (Raw and Unedited)

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Higurashi in the only power of friendship anime I respect.

In life, we experience  pain.  Betrayal.  Abuse.   Hopelessness.  Lost. Suffering.  Depression.  Anxiety.  Whatever. The point being is this: life is brutal.    However – the support of (true) family and friends can helps ebb our pain. With their help, we can push forward and grow better day-by-day.

07th Expansion and Studio Deen’s Higurashi no Naku Koro ni show us how the power of friendship  can pull  us up through our darkest Moments.  Moments that make us believe we’re hopeless. Movements  that makes feel that there’s nobody who can understand what we are going through.

This is where the beauty of Higurashi comes in.

 

The main cast (Rena, Shion, Mion, Satoko, Rika, and Keiichi) are suffering from various degrees of pain.  Rena suffered from trauma of bullying and her mother cheating on her father.  Shion is the Sonozaki family’s blacksheep, thus straining her relationship with her love ones.  Satoko…poor Satoko.  Keiichi suffers from the guilt of his past sins.  And Rika with despair and hopelessness.  They all believe that nobody understand htier pain and suffering, until they reached out to their friends at one point in the series.
Example: Keiichi reaches out to Rena whom was suffering from paranoia.  She believed that nobody understood her pain and took it out on her friends.  Keiichi opened his heart to her, allowing her to express her pain to him.   Keep in mind that in a different world of Higurashi (long story), Keiichi murdered Rena – whom he believed was trying to kill him.  Rena in reality was literally reaching out to him, knowing that he was going through the same paranoia that she experienced years prior.

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“Believe…in me.”

“The Power of Friendship” of anime  is so cheesy and Higurashi is one only anime that I’ve personally experienced the troope executed right with realistic themes such as child abuse and mental health.  Higurashi teaches us that we have a support system and that we must never allow ourselves to think that we are suffering alone and that people do not understand what wer’re going through.

 

With that said, I hope you enjoy this very raw, unedited, poor grammar freewrite.   Tell me in the ocmments if you too are a fan of Higurashi and appericate its usage of the power of friendship as a narrative.

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FREEWRITE: How to Get Over Somebody and Get Your Revenge

The best way to get over somebody is to keep working on you, improving yourself  daily. The best way you get revenge on somebody who’ve screwed you over is to become massively successful; making them regret what they did to you.  Breaking up sucks, trust me.  Cutting ties with somebody  who wronged you hurts, I know this.  You want to – no – you need to do whatever it takes to get your payback.  You need to get back at them for their wrongdoing. You need to make them feel the same way, if not worse, than how  they made you felt.  That’s okay.  It’s okay to feel angry and bitter, Emotions are natural. We’re human after all.

The best way to get back at them is to become more successful than them.  Become better, smarter, wiser, richer.  Do not do anything to harm your target physically, emotionally, or mentally.  That’ll only get you in some shit you don’t wanna be in.

 

I’m saying all this because the other day while I was browsing on Facebook there was word of a revenge porn thread on another website poppin’ up on an convention group I’m a part of.  Somebody was requesting nudes to be leaked of female csoaplyers from one of the region (perhaps some creep got mad some cosplaying chick rejected them and wanted to get back at them).  Unfortunately, some girls’ nudes were leaked by most likely their bitter ex-boyfriends. Ex-boyfriends  still mad about the breakup and seeking revenge by ruining their life through their nudes.

Imma say this real shit: If you so mad at a chick breaking up with you that it inspires you to post their nudes to the public – you’re an insecure little bitch.  Same to you ladies out there reading this.  if you leak your ex dude’s nudes  as  well, you’re an insecure little bitch . How low and petty do you have to be to violate a person’s privacy and trust?  How much anger, rage, and hatred do you have towards an ex that you wanna  ruin their life by posting their most imitate and private pictures that they entrusted you to not sparead aroud, all because you’re mad at them?  You’re not a real man or woman.  You’re a real sad bitch
Just  broken up with somebody? Feeling anger towards them? You need to get over that shit quick. If somebody did you wrong and your enraged? Get over it quick.  It’s okay to be angry at them.  What you do with that anger may not be okay. Do not let that anger blind and consume you.  What do you need to do when you’re mad and angry?

Use that anger as motivation.

In my introduction or  whatever, I stated that you should become better and more successful than whomever screwed you.  How do you do that you may ask?  Well, focus on whatever you love to do and work hard on that.  Are you a writer?  Then write!  Improve your writing skills and direct your attention to any writing projects you have in mind.  Hell, write about the person that hurt you if it makes you feel better.  Create a story based off the break up!  You may help somebody get over their anger!

You’re a hustler and a grinder? Keep on your grind.  Keep working on your business and make that money and stack.  .  Work your ass off so hard and so much on the hustle that you become something due to how much hard work you put in your hustle.  It’ll make those who wronged you regert that they did that!

That’s the revenge you want! Their regrets and your success!  Posting a person’s nudes ain’t goana make them respect you! That’s only gonna make you catch a revenge porn case.  That’ll be 4-7 years of your life gone cuz you’re out here trying to ruin a person’s life.  Busting a person’s car window or slashing their tires ain’t gonna make it better.  It’ll only gonna force you to lawyer up and pay them along with court fees. It ain’t worth your freedom to get revenge by being petty.  It’s worth your time to become more  successful and greater than those who screwed you over by working on you, improving day-by-day until you reach your biggest goal, whatever they may be.

In conclusion, the best revenge is massive success.  The greatest way to get over  somebody is to improve yourself and focusing on yourself.   By doing somebody physical or mental harm a payback will only end with your downfall and imprisonment.  You must disdain from that person by any means necessary.  Ignoring them is revenge.  WIninng at life is revenge.

 

With that said I hope you enjoy this freewrite and I hope I have helped anyone with their problems or a break up or getting back at anyone.  I shall be returning to my anime focused writings soon enough ya’ll!

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FREEWRITE: Bosses and Fearing Nothing

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“Rock’s here!  You miss it earlier, he was on a rampage nitpicking every little thing. ” My coworker informs me on our regional manager “Rock” was on  going off on everyone (sans me given I just arrived).

Oh.

“Damn, that bad huh?”  I replied nonchalantly.  I wasn’t concern about “Rock” (name changed cuz I’m not trying to get fired yet), or fearing  his arrival.  I was warned about his visit earlier in the week.  The prior warning gave me time to do my mental training and  job preparations.  Furthermore, I’ve been working both harder and smarter to improve my section and my work ethics (although admittedly I’ve been slacking in some areas).

As fucked up as this sounds, I’m laughing at everyone’s fears (in the inside, of course I would get fired if I did  that externally). At this point, we ‘re informed about Rock’s expectations.  Yea, it’s annoying that dude is in town, but that we expected it.  Adapt or die.

In my time researching (and now owning an actual copy of) the 48 Laws of Power, analyzing the mindset of superiors, being interested on how business are run, and my own desires of being a boss, I figured this out: The only reason why we were trippin’ off Rock’s arrival is because he’s a boss.  Bosses make their worker’s “fear” them. It’s how power works (at times).

Yet, given I’m evolving my own mindset of becoming a boss, and knowing that Rock has to answer to  ahis own bosses despite being a boss, what is there to fear from him?

As long as we’re doing our shit on the daily, and feeling confident in towards our work ethics,  we shouldn’t  worried about this dude.  And on the flip side, he shouldn’t worried if we’re doing what he expect us to do when he come through.  It’s that sense of security; we can put each other’s minds at ease if we perform to our expectations, and beyond.

Hell, I’ve been had this mindset since my second job (working at the Missouri Botanical Garden’s restaurant).  When news of the CEO’s arrival, everyone sans a few cooks and I were in fear.  We both knew what the CEO expected from us, and given that we respected his position of power, I made sure when dude came to our kitchen, and I had it as clean and neat for him.

Plus, my former bosses informed the GMs on my hard work, so my on the line (guard ya rep no matter what ya’ll).  If the CEO would have seen a kitchen a mess, it would not only look bad on me, but my bosses and GMs who told him about my work.  I don’t wanna make people look like liars off my bullshit.

 

I’m not fearful of Rock, but rather respectful of him and his position. As a boss he has to make sure we’re doing our work so he can feel secure about his position.  Because trust me, if he let our bullshit slid, that would be on his head with bosses and that wouldn’ be great on our end.  Plus I interactived with the dude a few times in the past, he seems like he’s chill if he’s not on boss mode, so there’s that.

 

I guess I think differently from my fellow coworkers and the average worker.

 

(I know this is different from my usually writings but I haven’t wrote anything in a while due to my own laziness, and this idea was in my head all day.  Plus, I need to sharpen my writing skills).

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“I Wanna Be Like Dr. Tomoe When I Grow Up!”

Yesterday  during my lunch break at work, I was listening to Grant Cardone’s (American author and CEO)  interview on his 2016 book “Be Obsessed or Be Average” (great book I  highly recommend if you have giant dreams).  During it, he brought up a childhood dream (an obsession even) of on becoming like fictional  movie spy James Bond when he grew up (having the hot women, flashy cars, infinite cash flow, etc.).  Cardone’s reflection of his childhood dreams and goals reminded myself of my own innocent dream of becoming like Dr. Tomoe; villain of Sailor Moon S.

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Yes, that Dr. Tomoe. The crazed cracklin’, evil science experimenting, nutjob ass dude with the clichéd evil badguy laugh.  That is the Dr. Tomoe I’m talking about.  As a child,  I wanted to be like him as a kid (I was a weird kid).    Why?  Well, here some reasons why!

Going back to  a previous post, my very first episode of Sailor Moon had the infamous fake orgasms  Twister game with Mimete and the reminding Witches 5. We see Professor Tomoe enjoying (albeit creepily) his all-female staff playing Twister in short shirts, lab coats, and high heels.  Tomoe enters the room and the women welcome him warmly.  After debriefing Minmete on her next mission, Tomoe continue the game of Twister with the other women, taking pleasure in being surrounded by smart and sexy science lady nerds .

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“I wanna be like Dr. Tomoe when I grow up!” I declared!  What ten-year-old male doesn’t wanna grow up to have a secret lab filled with sexy science nerds, man?

“He has women in high heels and lab coats playing Twister with him. I want that in life. Also I wonder if he’s fucking all of them behind their backs.  I would do that too if I was him.”

Oh ten-year-old me was full of hopes and dreams.  Oh Ben.  You were so innocent back then!  But really, that one definite scene  inspired me to work and learn hard, so that one day I could be like that creepy blackface paint like science man on the new anime.

To have the beautiful women working for me and  my business. Ten-year-old wanted that.  Today? I still want that.  Create humanoid  monsters from alien eggs to take over the world. Ten year old wanted that shit. Me today? I would get locked up for unethical science experiments and terrorism.

As ten-year-old me continued to watch Sailor Moon S, I was impress by Profressor Tomoe and what he had.   I was quickly inspired by the man, with him becoming one of my favorite characters in the series. The business. The school he founded.  The money and giant house.  And the women.

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Kaorinite.  Tomoe’s  beautiful (and incredibly crazy) lab assistance.  I mean, no wonder he hand selected her to be his personal assistance.  I mean she’s straight up beautiful, smart as fuck, has big ol nice ass cow tits, and probably has a S-rank  blowjob game in bed (hey I’m just saying).

For her character arc in the beginning of the S, to  her first death, and finally her second death at the hands of Mistress 9, Kaorinite was by Tomoe side.  My dude Tomoe had a fine ass chick by him at nearly all times.  She must had been that special because he brought her back to life after her first death at the hands of the Sailor Scouts.

I want a Kaorinite in my life (sans all the crazy homicidal shit and her abusiveness towards children [poor Hotaru]) Like,  a fine ass sexy woman by my side when I become a successful person.  Introduce her to at a party  or an event and everyone starts looking at her.  Have  their breath taken away from not only her beauty and grace, but her presence and wisdom.  Have people hate on me because I have her and she doesn’t not.

Finally, the last factor that made me go “I Wanna Be Like Dr. Tomoe” was his powerful  relationship with his daughter, Hotaru.

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Despite being incredibly busy with his personal work, Tomoe made time to spend time with Hotaru.  It’s clear that they’re close as Hotaru happily introduced Chibi-Usa to him (but that’s for another post).  At the final few episodes of the S arc, Professor Tomoe is risking his life to save and protect Hotaru (after she transformed into Mistress 9 See, that’s a real ass father.  Taking time off  time to take care of daughter. Then we have his willingness to protect her at all costs, by any means.

Granted, personally I don’t want kids anytime soon (or ever), but if I ever had a kid, I would done the same he did with his kid.  Take the time from my own shit to be around them. To protect them at all cost.

As a kid I had this innocent, but wild dream to be like a fictional cartoon anime character.  I want what he had: beautiful women (the Witches 5 and Kaorinite), the money and own business,  the nice mansion, and family.  Am I working on that childish dream today as an adult?  Yes.  It might be taking slower than I want but I know I can get it if I push myself.

Thanks Professor Tomoe! your crazy ass inspired me to become a man like ya.

 

(Fuck Crystal/Manga Professor Tomoe tho.  That nigga’s a piece of shit.  Don’t be like him.)

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FREEWRITE: Haruhi Suzumiya and Law 6 of the 48 Laws of Power

‘Law 6: Court Attention at All Cost’

-Robert Greene, author of the 48 Laws of Power

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To say that Haruhi Suzumiya (The Melachonholy of Haruhi Suzumiya) is a bit of an attention whore is a grave understatement.  Haruhi lusts for attention.  She demands notability.  She wants all eyes on her like Tupac.  To Haruhi, the world should  and must revolve around only on her. (of course, she’s God after all, so she’s not. She’s not wrong to think that [despite unaware of her godly reality wrapping powers]). Every day, she makes an effort to be noticed, to have people know her name, and who she is.  She doesn’t care if people speak of her in a negative light; it keeps her name circulating. She loves it.

Haruhi  doesn’t want to fade in the background.  She does not want be average, or one of faceless many in the world. Haruhi’s drive is to become extraordinary and different from the rest of the world.  To understand this drive, we must look at her flashback scene from episode 13 of season 1.

‘So I figure I would change myself in middle school. Let the world know that I wasn’t a girl content with sitting around and waiting.’
-Haruhi Suzumiya

As they’re walking home from school, Haruhi tells Kyon the story of her family going a baseball game as a child. Haruhi was amazed at the sight of the overflowing, sold out stadium. She believed that the entire population of   Japan came together at the venue to watch baseball.  When she asked her dad about the number of people in attendance, he told her around 200,000 people. These people, including herself, only made up very small fraction Japan’s population (around 128 million during the show’s original run in 2006).  After returning home from the game,  she did the math, breaking down the attendance , compared it to the entire population of Japan, and discovered that it only made one two-thousandth of the population of Japan.

Haruhi was just one of many. A  drop in the massive and everlasting ocean.

Realizing this, she no longer felt special.  Haruhi was just like everyone else; doing the same shit (brushing her teeth, eating breakfast, going to school, etc.).  Life became boring. What’s life when you’re just like everyone else? Maybe in the world, there was somebody amazing, unique, and extraordinary And yet, it wasn’t her.

At this  revelation,  Haruhi  had to  stand out from the rest of the world. She to get up and demand change by her own will. To  not become content with being average.  She had to make her mark in the world by any means. To court attention at all cost.

 

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Be obsessed or be average.’

-Grant Cardone, American CEO, Author, and motivation speaker

 

Later, Haruhi set out to achieve her dream of being noticed and not average. On her first day of high school, she proudly introduces herself and states that she isn’t interested normal humans.  Rather, she wants to meet with time travelers, aliens, and espers. This caused a stir in her homeroom, making people think just who the fuck is this childish girl, and why does she still believe in such things at the age of 15?

Throughout the series, Haruhi attempts (and mostly succeed at) various actions to be noticed.  She devolved a system to change her hairdo by style (she even went as far to wear a different hair ribbion each day).  She stripped down from her school uniform into her gym clothes, not caring if her male peers were watching. She attempted to join every school club, only to dip out from each and forming her own club: The SOS Brigade. She stole the show at her school festival, filling in for a sick guitarist ( revealing that she’s an amazing musician in her own right). All in the name of courting attention.   She places herself at the center of it all, regardless of what others may think.

It’s her world.  She just want all the attention.

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‘A normal life’s boring’

-Eminem, American Rapper

Haruhi’s World art source:
http://photobucket.com/gallery/http://s634.photobucket.com/user/MawsCM

Creators 0

FREEWRITE: ZUN, and the Passion of the Craft

The other day,  I was browsing through a Touhou fangroup  on Facebook when I came across an topic: ZUN’s networth, and how much money he makes off his games and other products.  We threw in our (not so educated) guesses out, ranging from being completely broke due to his alcoholism love for beer, really broke from snorting cocaine off the asses  of  Sanae  cosplayers at Comiket, to being incredibly well off from the games, his day job (network programmer), and having some passive income (apparently he invested in  a brewery in Japan [yay sin investments] and SONY is giving him passive income for the PS4 Touhou games,  but neither statement  has not yet been confirmed).

Somebody brought up an article with statements from ZUN . Zun states that even  if he wasn’t making money off to make Touhou games, he would still make them regardless, as he is passionate about game design.

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To ZUN, that’s a shot glass.

(ZUN reminds me of another doujinshi game designer and writer, Ryukishi07 [When They Cry series creator], another dude who loves making games just for the joy for it, but that’s for another freewrite)

ZUN  spreads the lore of Gensokyo (the fictional land of Touhou), not for the love of money, but for the love of his fans and  his passion of storytelling.  ZUN finds fulfillment from his craft, his art.  Naturally, everyone in the topic started to respect him more than ever (ZUN seems like a very cool and chill guy). This got me thinking a bit; am I doing this writing  thing for fame  and money, or am I doing this because I love writing and I want to share my views to the world?

Or to go a little deeper; is there a greater sense of fulfillment by working on my passion so I can spread my words to the world?  Do I want to influence others and have them think about anime and otaku culture on a deeepr level?  Or am I doing this for my own pride and ego?

Maybe one day I’ll find the answer.  Maybe one day I’ll become just like ZUN and keep pushing out my writings because I find it fun and I want others to be happy and find joy from it.  Thanks ZUN, not only for your hard work, but also inspiring me to work on my passion for the joy of it!